How do I make my GF understand I have raid nights?

[Deleted]

Let her watch you play, tell her about the game!

I did the same with mine and now we have nights where she's sitting on me watching me play or sometimes she even try!

[Hanto]

See if she's into games. If she is, she'd probably understand where you're coming from. I mean, you guys could talk via Skype or IMs between bosses if she has no interest in playing WoW. If she's not into games and has something against people who play WoW (I've known friends who said their exes pass them up to play WoW, hence why they hate the game) then you'll probably have to decide which is more important.

[Susej]

Hey community

So, I recently got myself a girlfriend, and we're pretty madly in love yadda yadda.
The 2 weeks we've been together now, we've spent almost all day, every day together, but I don't wanna give up raiding. I raid on a semi-hardcore basis, 4 nights a week on regular schedule.

How exactly would you suggest that I get her to understand that I need to do these raids and that other people depend on me to be there? No, she won't go all like "omg asdjfsijf u play games? i leev", but I do think she'll find it weird that I have a schedule for gaming.

So, yeah ^^ What do you think?

If she isn't okay with your pass time. She isn't worth changing your life for. Find a girl that is okay with who you are. Don't pretend to be something you're not.

[Siri]

It's unlikely that you'll get away with 4 days a week.
You can try to compare to hobbies and such but ultimately that's probably not going to work because people typically don't spend that much time on a hobby as people do on WoW, at least not time that they don't have more personal control over. You'll probably end up in a place where you'll have to pick which you like more.
Personally I would never (and never have) choose the game over a relationship that is working even if there is nothing casual about me.

[Wildmoon]

Just tell her that you wanna play the game. WoW is more important if she want to go then let her go. lol

[Zodd]

Hey dude.

First, head off to seddit for some advice on this from people that know more than I do.

Secondly, are you going to be her boy toy or her man? What are you trying to accomplish by spending all of your time with her? I say this from experience, having thrown away my life, which I enjoyed very much - to chase the woman of my dreams. Well, four years and a divorce later, I realized that I never should have let ANY ONE GIRL get in the way of MY LIFE.

Do what you enjoy. Girls like that. Don't ignore her totally - but she has to realize you're not at her beck and call. You have a life of your own.

Remember that, and do well.

[Deleted]

Hey community

So, I recently got myself a girlfriend, and we're pretty madly in love yadda yadda.
The 2 weeks we've been together now, we've spent almost all day, every day together, but I don't wanna give up raiding. I raid on a semi-hardcore basis, 4 nights a week on regular schedule.

How exactly would you suggest that I get her to understand that I need to do these raids and that other people depend on me to be there? No, she won't go all like "omg asdjfsijf u play games? i leev", but I do think she'll find it weird that I have a schedule for gaming.

So, yeah ^^ What do you think?

4 nights a week????? That's more than half of it!!! If it was maximum 3, I would go for a lie that implies "I have important stuff to do".

For more than that I would say that I would choose to just quit the guild but it is most probably because I am very willing to quit the game as I feel it has nothing to offer me right now. Maybe if you work your schedule around you can make it so you see her "early" in the day and leave the rest of the things you have to do for later. So, you won't have to be with her at nights and if she calls to check on you, you 'll either hang up on her or talk to her and tell her, she is distracting you from your "work" and you 'll call her later.


I fixed ya. didn't I?

[almalexia]

4 nights of raiding means 3 nights with your gf. do you see the inherent problem here? hint: check your priorities. its not that you are scheduling time around a game, its that you are putting your girlfriend second to a game. your girlfriend gets less time than WoW? just, no.

[Deleted]

If she isn't okay with your pass time. She isn't worth changing your life for. Find a girl that is okay with who you are. Don't pretend to be something you're not.

you win my master

[Mawnix]

i've been a gamer for a very long time, and had many relationships over the years, and here is my advice based on my experience:
1. be up front and honest about your gaming from the very start - don't hide it or try to not do it at first, otherwise it will just be a bigger problem later.
2. if she gets weird on you about it, make it clear that your gaming is no different from guys who watch football, or have poker nights, or whatever other thing you can think of that people do... people have hobbies that eat up their time, just because yours is gaming doesn't make it any less valid.

i personally got to the point where i just told women up front: "you need to understand that my computer and i have a relationship that was here before i met you, and will be here long after we break up. if i got have sex with the CD-rom drive, you would be irrelevant. just so we're clear on this"

of course, if you're young and in love that level of cynicism probably isn't something you're capable of yet, but if you're still playing games in your late 20's/early 30's it's a very convenient way of cutting the BS at the start of a new relationship.

Probably the best explanation. Otherwise just put down the game for her, man. Or find a new guild for raid nights.

[Deleted]

Why should it be a problem? If you spend 24/7 with each other, specially in the beginning...Won't you smother each other? Then again, that can just be me. I'd feel smothered seeing 'm 2-3 times a week xD

[Pool of the Dead]

If she isn't okay with your pass time. She isn't worth changing your life for. Find a girl that is okay with who you are. Don't pretend to be something you're not.

That would be true, if he wasn't spending over 50% of the nights a week raiding, I could understand if he only raided 1-2 times a week but expecting a girl to accept being 2nd preference to a video game MOST of the nights of a week is pretty fucked up for someone that says "pretty madly in love"

[Kibbles]

Either get her to play or cut back on the hardcore raiding.
Introducing her to the game will give her a better understanding and might be more accepting to your schedule (assuming she gets a good first impression from the game). On the other hand, real life should take priority over WoW, even if you have 9/24 other people depending on you. The best option is probably to cut it down to 2-3 nights a week.

[Lusiphur]

2 Weeks and you're madly in love? Just wait until the honeymoon period is over, she'll want to spend time with her other friends and that will give you the chance to raid. Relationships don't stay in the "sitting staring love struck into each others eyes" for to long.

But apart from that you need to understand that you may have to make a choice. Either way be honest AND DO NOT LIE ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO PLAY WOW!

[Deleted]

If she isn't okay with your pass time. She isn't worth changing your life for. Find a girl that is okay with who you are. Don't pretend to be something you're not.

You are so lame... The time you start scheduling it, it has stopped being "pass time" activity.

[Angelmichu]

well my suggestion is to explain it in terms she can identify with particularly if she's not a gamer.

You could say something like how similar raid is to a sport.. like football for instance, and explain that you have people counting on you to be there. That you have a role to play and that you're good at it :P

You might want to add that it's something you enjoy doing.. like she enjoys shopping or whatever thing she enjoys doing without u, and that you understand its unconventional, but more and more people are getting into it.

[Clockwork Pinkie]

4 nights a week? I can see that being somewhat necessary for 4.3 but as of now that's pretty excessive, i'd cut back on it.

[Deleted]

What this guy said. Definately get her hooked if you can. Just make sure she never makes officer rank cuz you might just find yourself without a raid spot if you two split.

ummm, yeah, whatever... I would recommend just being honest to her. Tell her that gaming is some rly important hobby to you. She should understand that, if not, she's not worth it. I mean, a gf who wants you all for herself and doesnt even let you do your hobbies? Srsly...

Btw: I never raided actively, nor do I plan to do so. I'm a pug bitch. But I do so cause Im just not the sort of person reserving spare time for gaming...but I understand you hardcore raiders^^ The only thing comparable to your raiding would be swimming for me. I'm a serious athlete and I would never let a girl take away my time for the sport.

[achaeon]

4 nights a week is basically setting sail for fail.

[Deleted]

See if you can compromise somehow. Gaming is hardly the big dirty secret/hobby that some people seem to believe it to be. Spending a couple of hours in front of a computer screen is no different to spending a few hours watching the latest football match at the local pub or at home - they're both ways to spend one's free time. If you can get her to understand that, hopefully things can be smoothed over.

Though with that said, four nights a week may be a little excessive if you're in a full-time relationship with someone. See if you can cut it down to three.