How Deadbeat are Deadbeat Dads, Really?

[GennGreymane]

http://time.com/3921605/deadbeat-dads/

New study suggests they give stuff rather than money

There are fewer pariahs more deeply loathed by society at large than the deadbeat dad, the fully-grown man, who, having had his fun, abandons his responsibilities. And the numbers of men who pay little or no child support has always been staggering. In 2011, only 61% of child support payments were made by men to the mothers of their children.

But as with most pariahs, things are more complicated than they seem. The Census reports that in 2011 about the same percentage of moms who didn’t live with their kids paid all the child support they owed as dads who didn’t. And a new research paper suggests that baby dads are not quite as useless as the numbers and their popular image would imply.

The study, which appeared in June in the Journal of Marriage and Family, finds that many fathers who don’t pay child support in cash, nevertheless make a significant contribution in kind. Almost half of the fathers in the study who were cash-poor nevertheless tried to contribute in other ways—providing baby products, clothing, school expenses and food—worth an average of $60 a month.

“The most disadvantaged dads end up looking like they’re completely distanced from their kids but they’re actually giving quite a lot,” said one of the authors, Kathryn Edin, a sociologist and Johns Hopkins Bloomberg Distinguished Professor. “I was really surprised by how much these disadvantaged guys, these truly marginally employed men, are putting all of this thought and what little resources they have into showing their children that they care.”

Of the 367 lower income, noncustodial dads studied in three different cities, only 23% gave what the courts would recognize as child-support through the system, but 46% contributed in-kind support and 28% gave cash straight to the mom, says the study, which is the first to look specifically at the more informal ways dads try to look after their kids.

Sixty six of the dads in the study were what’s considered the full-on deadbeat, giving absolutely no cash support to the 95 children they fathered between them. But the researchers found they gave $63 per child a month through in-kind support — support that doesn’t show up in statistics.

Edin, with her husband Timothy J. Nelson, has done extensive study of so-called deadbeat dads; together they wrote the book Doing the Best I Can about inner city fatherhood. She may be one of the nation’s foremost experts on non-custodial fathers and is certainly one of the group’s biggest (female) defenders.

Many sociologists believe that the current system of child support payments often leads mothers to deny fathers access to their children until they have paid what they owe, thus souring the relationship between all three. Indeed, the study found that fathers who did not visit their kids gave only about half as much in-kind support as those who spent at least 10 hours a month with them.

Why do dads prefer to buy stuff for their kids, rather than give money to the kids’ moms? Because they get more recognition for these acts from their children. It’s a way, says Edin, of bonding. “We need to respect what these guys are doing, linking love and provision in a way that’s meaningful to the child,” she said in a statement accompanying the release of the journal. “The child support system weakens the child/father bond by separating the act of love from the act of providing.”

[zenkai]

All im going to say is when I got laid off work years ago I was threaten with Jail time because I couldn't make my Child support payments. A few years later my son moves in with with me, and even though my xwife never paid me child support I was still way better off financially, and they never threaten her with jail time.

Also I want to add, when I was paying child support I still bought my son things he needed because his mother didn't seem to ever have money for him, he needed stuff for school. I also was the one who paid to have health insurance on him. She though always had money to buy herself an ipad and other stupid things.

[Independent voter]

Okay, why do we put deadbeat dads in jail. If the dad's and it's almost always the dads don't support their kids, taxpayers will wind up supporting the kids.

The conservatives would sell the deadbeat dad into slavery and use the proceeds to support the kids. They don't want their tax dollars spent on someone else's children.

The left says something but we haven't listened to them since 1944.

The middle of the road people say, 'well, slavery is a bit harsh, why don't we throw them in jail.'

[Nadiru]

Okay, why do we put deadbeat dads in jail. If the dad's and it's almost always the dads don't support their kids, taxpayers will wind up supporting the kids.

The conservatives would sell the deadbeat dad into slavery and use the proceeds to support the kids. They don't want their tax dollars spent on someone else's children.

The left says something but we haven't listened to them since 1944.

The middle of the road people say, 'well, slavery is a bit harsh, why don't we throw them in jail.'

The left says to castrate the dad because he's oppressing that womyn's right to have money funneled into her.

[Conspicuous Cultist]

My mother owes 10k+ worth of child support and my father only got one check and that was the very start of the payments. Honestly, I think the whole system is bonkers stupid and extremely unhealthy for any concept of marriage or long term commitment because not only will you possibly get swept out from under you you'll have to make constant payments until your child is 18, even if you find out it's not your child.

Having children seems like a rich man's game in the US, with each of your spawn costing you about 250k one way or another.

[daytonbrown]

Okay, why do we put deadbeat dads in jail. If the dad's and it's almost always the dads don't support their kids, taxpayers will wind up supporting the kids.

The conservatives would sell the deadbeat dad into slavery and use the proceeds to support the kids. They don't want their tax dollars spent on someone else's children.

The left says something but we haven't listened to them since 1944.

The middle of the road people say, 'well, slavery is a bit harsh, why don't we throw them in jail.'

If there are no negative consequences, deadbeats will simply never pay. If not jail, what should be the punishment?

Many jurisdictions start out with suspending your driver's license before they go the jail route.

[Deleted]

And isn't that just asinine? A car would be the first tool a father would need to make money with. Starving you of the most useful means of travel would only hamper the person in getting back on their feet.

[Stormdash]

A real man takes responsibility for his children. There are no qualifiers, no buts, no exceptions. If he has enough to take care of himself, every dollar above his own basic survival is for the well-being of his family.

[Conspicuous Cultist]

If there are no negative consequences, deadbeats will simply never pay. If not jail, what should be the punishment?

Many jurisdictions start out with suspending your driver's license before they go the jail route.

How about simply not having child support and actually have risk tied to divorce and child custody instead of just being given a check that you can spend on useless baubles?

[Nachturnal]

Let's see... Grew up without my dad. Apparently he was there the first 2 years of my life, got deported for being a drug dealing illegal shitlord. I make contact with him around the age of 16. We speak every so often, talk a little, got to know each other a bit. Joined the Army at 17, did basic training and all that hoopla, he contacts me again, asks me if I'm making a ton of money, and suggests that I use my new found "richness" to get him a ticket to come to the US to see me. I clicked on him and never spoke to him again.

So yeah, real deadbeat.

[Conspicuous Cultist]

Let's see... Grew up without my dad. Apparently he was there the first 2 years of my life, got deported for being a drug dealing illegal shitlord. I make contact with him around the age of 16. We speak every so often, talk a little, got to know each other a bit. Joined the Army at 17, did basic training and all that hoopla, he contacts me again, asks me if I'm making a ton of money, and suggests that I use my new found "richness" to get him a ticket to come to the US to see me. I clicked on him and never spoke to him again.

So yeah, real deadbeat.

At least your mother owns a government security company.

[Khuzog]

I've personally seen (not participated in, thankfully) far too many child support checks go to getting nails did and new technology the child isn't allowed to touch to think the system has any worth anymore. A social arrangement to provide necessary utilities and supplies such as clothing, food, toys and other emotionally appealing trinkets should be the way to go, not a carte blanche check while you say "I trust you to do the right thing with this, man/woman I clearly don't get along with at this point."

[Deleted]

How about simply not having child support and actually have risk tied to divorce and child custody instead of just being given a check that you can spend on useless baubles?

This is my issue with "child support". You hand cash over the the manipulative bitch, which she then spends on fuck knows what. and then says she needs x,y,z because she cannot afford to pay for it for the kid despite getting a fuck ton of cash which sole purpose =is to buy shit for the kid.

- - - Updated - - -

A real man takes responsibility for his children. There are no qualifiers, no buts, no exceptions. If he has enough to take care of himself, every dollar above his own basic survival is for the well-being of his family.

One thing providing for your family. Another thing handing over cash to someone who never spends it on the kid but only on themselves.

[Rhine101]

My sister's ex is a deadbeat dad. He makes a lot of money, but he deals in cash so he can report to the British govt he is destitute. he just bought a new car (which is easy cause he owns a dealership). The guy is an asshole.

However, she did choose to go back to him and have a second child. She knew he was a deadbeat and she went out and found him to have another baby. So as much as an ass the guy is, I can't say she is much better.

Having sad that, I think it is totally fucked up that we are putting men in prison simply because they cannot pay child support. The govt is draconian with it's support laws. Any child born is the responsibility of the male to pay for it seems. The male has no choice in that regard. The day they make a reliable male contraceptive is the day that all men will rejoice. I will personally invest large amounts of money into whatever company succeeds because it will most likely go on to rival Berkshire Hathaway at the markets.

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A real man takes responsibility for his children. There are no qualifiers, no buts, no exceptions. If he has enough to take care of himself, every dollar above his own basic survival is for the well-being of his family.

What does a Real woman do? Do any exist?

[Tinykong]

We could start by having child support actually be child support and not a cash contribution to your child's other parent.

It would also help to have a system that didn't perpetuate a cycle of: get job, garnish wages, unable to pay, go to jail, lose job, repeat.

[tj119]

My ex never let me see my first born, I know for a fact she spent my child support money on herself. She never actually had a job but always had high end purses, shows and great clothes...but yeah...I'm the deadbeat. My son is now 21 and we talk occasionally, I know for a fact he doesn't speak to her at all anymore, apparently she trashed me every chance she got to him.

[Theinquisition]

All im going to say is when I got laid off work years ago I was threaten with Jail time because I couldn't make my Child support payments. A few years later my son moves in with with me, and even though my xwife never paid me child support I was still way better off financially, and they never threaten her with jail time.

Also I want to add, when I was paying child support I still bought my son things he needed because his mother didn't seem to ever have money for him, he needed stuff for school. I also was the one who paid to have health insurance on him. She though always had money to buy herself an ipad and other stupid things.

From my experience as a soldier, I had many troops who, during the course of their career, their wives decided to leave, and abandoned the children with the father.

Often, I would have to go with them to the government offices that helped administer child support payments, and really...they didn't seem to care when it was a woman that owed the money. WE would get the run around.

[chaotus]

Child support should be overhauled into a flex spending account managed by the government. Allowing for specific purchases from approved child related things. Healthcare, school related tuition and fees, food items, specific clothing lines or stores. I have in my own experience seen it too often used as a means of punishment by the woman in the relationship against the man. I honest to god feel that if it was appropriately handled like welfare and food stamps, it could do some good instead of being abused as heavily as it is now. Even under that system it can be abused, but the way it is now is just ill conceived and very much prone to massive abuse.

[zenkai]

Okay, why do we put deadbeat dads in jail. If the dad's and it's almost always the dads don't support their kids, taxpayers will wind up supporting the kids.

The conservatives would sell the deadbeat dad into slavery and use the proceeds to support the kids. They don't want their tax dollars spent on someone else's children.

The left says something but we haven't listened to them since 1944.

The middle of the road people say, 'well, slavery is a bit harsh, why don't we throw them in jail.'

Id say the left is harsher on Dads, they are also the ones who are trying to keep Alimony in place

But I agree with its stupid to lock them up. Last company I worked for we hired a factory worker, and the police came after him that week for failure to pay child support. Why didn't they just garnish his wages? The government is ran by morons

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A real man takes responsibility for his children. There are no qualifiers, no buts, no exceptions. If he has enough to take care of himself, every dollar above his own basic survival is for the well-being of his family.

If a real man was taking care of his child, paying for half the expenses he shouldn't have to pay child support, there is more to raising a child than just money. A lot of women don't even use the money for the child. I knew one woman who never had to work because she was getting child support from 3 different fathers

I did however dated a woman who's was left for a younger woman, she took her child support and put it in the bank for her child's college fund, I had a lot of respect for her.

[Rhine101]

Child support should be overhauled into a flex spending account managed by the government. Allowing for specific purchases from approved child related things. Healthcare, school related tuition and fees, food items, specific clothing lines or stores. I have in my own experience seen it too often used as a means of punishment by the woman in the relationship against the man. I honest to god feel that if it was appropriately handled like welfare and food stamps, it could do some good instead of being abused as heavily as it is now. Even under that system it can be abused, but the way it is now is just ill conceived and very much prone to massive abuse.

Feminists will never allow it. But yes I agree. Child support should be paid to a local office. That money should be credited to a card that the mom can use on items specifically for the child alone. Food, clothes, education etc.