Is assertiveness a trait looked down upon by most?

[Self Inflicted Wounds]

Is assertiveness an undesirable trait?

A little background on me and why I ask. I went back to my old company, and was looking to get a promotion into management. Your current manager will rate you on a scale of 1-5 on ten different categories. The lowest I scored was a three in "assertiveness." I agree with this CURRENTLY. The first time I worked at my company I was very assertive and to the point about things. I didn't seem to get treated well as a result. Most of the people seemed to rather be treated as if they never did anything wrong, and could never be criticized in any way. Even on things regarding safety, work ethic, or getting the job done in general. When I got rehired, I decided to turn a new leaf and just be easy going in general. As a result I have been given a low score in assertiveness.

Before people accuse me of just being an asshole instead of being assertive, here is the definition:
-confidently aggressive or self-assured; positive: aggressive; dogmatic:

[obdigore]

Assertiveness is fine if you are polite but firm, and actually know what you are talking about.

I know numerous people at my company who have been denied promotions because they speak out on shit they know nothing about, just to try to get their name out there.

I'm not saying that is what you did, but it is something to watch. Good assertiveness will get you noticed and get you promoted (at least it has for me).

[Gozzu]

Yeah i wouldnt want anyone like that around my office. Show people how to do something, but dont tell them how.
They'll learn, and if you dont trust them to learn, they shouldnt have been hired in the first place.

[Self Inflicted Wounds]

Sadly I didn't return thinking ahead to a promotion. But things like asking people to walk on the designated walk path will get you a mean look and possibly a name calling... even though its safe for YOU, and safe for ME working in my area. People often avoid those paths to save 30 seconds of time. After being rehired I decided not to tell people to use walk paths, because of the extreme negative reactions I would receive.

[Kerath]

Assertiveness is a positive trait.
When people speak about assertiveness, particularly in the work place, I think of it more like this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assertiveness rather than the standard dictionary definition (it helps to differentiate it from aggressive behaviour).
That being said, you can be assertive and offer constructive criticism without having negative conqequences, the key is in your delivery. I've no idea what your inter-personal skills are like and how you phrased your criticism (remember that simply modifying tone of voice can have a huge impact on how a statement comes across), but I would wager that it was a bit on the blunt/agressive side.

[Deleted]

Assertiveness is doing stuff off your own back rather than waiting to be told what to do.

Its a great thing to have in the workplace

[Deleted]

People often confuse assertiveness and assholery. It occurs on either side. Some people who think they are being "assertive" are actually being assholes and vice versa.

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Assertiveness is doing stuff off your own back rather than waiting to be told what to do.

Its a great thing to have in the workplace

That's more being pro-active rather than assertive.

[Payday]

Is assertiveness an undesirable trait?

It sounds like you were being assertive at a time when it would have been better to be more reserved. Now you are being reserved at a time when it would be better to be assertive. Although it is possible that you and I have a different interpretation of what assertive means.

as·ser·tive
əˈsərtiv/

adjective
1.having or showing a confident and forceful personality.

[Velaniz]

If practiced to an unproductive extent, assertiveness can be disastrous, though that holds true for anything not done in careful moderation.

That said, the right amount of assertiveness is an immensely valuable asset. Humans have a natural tendency to place more faith in someone who exudes confidence in both their verbal and non-verbal language. We look up to such people as being dependable, well-versed in their line of career, and professional.

[Deleted]

People often confuse assertiveness and assholery. It occurs on either side. Some people who think they are being "assertive" are actually being assholes and vice versa.

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That's more being pro-active rather than assertive.

I suppose so, but they generally go hand in hand from what i have seen

[Kokolums]

Assertiveness is absolutely 100% bad.

It is the PRIMARY problem with our politics. Everyone asserts, asserts, and asserts. They all press their opinion to their audience backed up with as much slanted evidence as they can find. I don't care if they do it in a "nice" way. Its still wrong to do it.

Look at Obama vs Romney. Romney asserts America needs to go in one direction. Obama asserts we need to go in the other. Neither listen to each because thy are both to busy asserting. Look at the budget battle today. The GOP asserts one thing, the democrats assert another. And nothing gets fixed because both are too busy asserting.

Of look at what Obama did when the government shutdown. The FIRST thing he did was run in front of a camera and immediately try to assert as convincingly as he could to the public that he was right and the GOP was bad. That's his mindset. When something goes wrong, his first instinct is not to find a solution, but to assert assert assert.

The PROPER way to reach good conclusions is to have an OPEN MIND instead of asserting. Talk about the good points and bad points of both sides. Focus on what you are willing to compromise on instead of how correct you are.

We don't need a guy like Obama asserting all over the place. We need solutions. His first instinct should be to get in there and see what he could compromise on to get things fixed, not run to a camera and assert all day.

[Deleted]

Assertiveness can be a great character trait, unfortunately there is a very fine line between being assertive and being a pushy asshole.

[Reeve]

Assertiveness is generally considered a good thing.

[Kuntantee]

So you were telling people how things should be done and you got kicked and when you were back with a lesson taken you pussed out too much to criticize or assert constructively? Are you new graduate?

Assertiveness is good when you have profound knowledge on what you are asserting. Otherwise, it's a very bad practice to follow in workspace.

[vindicatorx]

I'm as assertive as it gets man and from my experience people like it. I come off cocky and arrogant at sometimes but I always back it up with knowledge. I am the go to guy where if you have a question people come to me because they know I either know the answer or know who would know it.

[Aucald]

Assertiveness is one of those things that is misunderstood and mismanaged by most people - in an attempt to be "assertive," they instead bulldoze forward ignoring both context and other people. In a vacuum, there's nothing wrong with assertiveness; you just need to know when you assert yourself and when to reserve yourself. I kind of see assertiveness as the active version of confidence, which is a more passive trait. Assertiveness is a model of how one does a thing, confidence is more a state of mind about one's place in the scheme of things.

[Sunseeker]

Companies are hypocritical.

They want you to be an assertive self-starter who doesn't need instruction, but works well with guidance and is a team player. Only tropes about what traits women want in men are worse than companies expectations about employees.

[belfpala]

Companies are hypocritical.

They want you to be an assertive self-starter who doesn't need instruction, but works well with guidance and is a team player. Only tropes about what traits women want in men are worse than companies expectations about employees.

This made me smile.

Smile.

It's so true.

[OzoAndIndi]

Assertiveness is tricky imo... I mean, you have people who are simply to the point and leader types, and then there are those who are assertive but their tone turns people off. If you were an underling before then people probably of equal position or above may not have appreciated an assertive tone. However in terms of seeking leadership they probably are looking for it now.

[Zangeiti]

I have always been assertive and a leader for all my life. I use to get told I was too assertive. Well its not my fault all the damn people I knew were stubborn as shit and if I tried to be well not assertive I would get walked all over. So I just find its allot easier to be assertive IF YOU HAVE THE TRAIT. Dont walk aroun like you own the place. Be assertive when needed. When you know right from wrong.