A relationship question

[The Dwarf]

I just have a quick question to ask you mmo-ers. Have you ever been in a relationship with someone before, taken a break, and then then went back to that person? If so, how long was the break?

[Tziva]

I think to most people, "taking a break" is a sugarcoated way of saying you want to break up without actually telling the person that.

I mean, people do break up and later get back together, but the concept of pausing a relationship where both parties fully intend to return to it after some kind of weird sabbatical is kinda unrealistic.

[The Dwarf]

I think to most people, "taking a break" is a sugarcoated way of saying you want to break up without actually telling the person that.

I mean, people do break up and later get back together, but the concept of pausing a relationship where both parties fully intend to return to it after some kind of weird sabbatical is kinda unrealistic.

Maybe not 100% return to the relationship, but what about probably?

[chrisberb]

It really all boils down to circumstances. For example, the reason for the "break". If it's to see what other fish are in the sea, then it's a bit less likely. If it's because school/work/personal things are and will be consuming their life, then maybe when things calm down it's more likely.
If I had to only make an assumption, i'd wager that less people get back together after a break.

[belfpala]

Yes.

Never will again.

"Break" is just code for other things.

Either you move forward together or you move forward apart.

That is all. Belfpala Life Rule #193

[The Dwarf]

It really all boils down to circumstances. For example, the reason for the "break". If it's to see what other fish are in the sea, then it's a bit less likely. If it's because school/work/personal things are and will be consuming their life, then maybe when things calm down it's more likely.
If I had to only make an assumption, i'd wager that less people get back together after a break.

I'll just add my situation and see what people have to say about it.

I've been in a long distance relationship with a girl for almost 2 years. She just recently told me that she wants to take a break with our relationship, but she still loves me. She said that she wants to "live" and not feel guilty about going to movies with guys and things like that. She said she doesn't want or hope that it will lead to sexual things, but she couldn't promise me that it wouldn't happen. She's always been completely honest with me. We had plans for me to move to live with her, but there was no specific date or anything. She has told me multiple times that she still hopes we will always be together and that she doesn't know how long the break will last and that she needs space. I know her very well (we've met multiple times) and she would never lead me on. She says she still wants to talk often and neither of us hold any resentment for each other. I was angry at first, but it's passed now.

[Tziva]

I'll just add my situation and see what people have to say about it.

I've been in a long distance relationship with a girl for almost 2 years. She just recently told me that she wants to take a break with our relationship, but she still loves me. She said that she wants to "live" and not feel guilty about going to movies with guys and things like that. She said she doesn't want or hope that it will lead to sexual things, but she couldn't promise me that it wouldn't happen. She's always been completely honest with me. We had plans for me to move to live with her, but there was no specific date or anything. She has told me multiple times that she still hopes we will always be together and that she doesn't know how long the break will last and that she needs space. I know her very well (we've met multiple times) and she would never lead me on. She says she still wants to talk often and neither of us hold any resentment for each other. I was angry at first, but it's passed now.

Yeah, in that case, you're kinda broken up. Move on.

She just wants to have her cake and eat it, too. To date people but have a fall back guy if she doesn't find someone else. That's not at all fair to you.

[quandtrtle]

I had to only make an assumption, i'd wager that less people get back together after a break.

[Spectral]

A couple times, for different reasons. Got cheated on, walked away, came back. Ended badly (predictably). Tried leaving a girl, she chased, I gave it another shot. Ended badly (predictably). Split with a girl because she was boring an unintelligent, couldn't get laid for a couple months, went back. Ended amicably.

Seems kind of pointless, in general.

- - - Updated - - -

"Break" is just code for other things.

Yeah. About 99.37% percent of the time, it means, "I desire to fuck someone else, but saying it that way sounds really cruel, so let's take a break".

[Deleted]

My girlfriend (Shock-Horror) once suggested that we "Take a break". I quickly shot that down in flames, due to my rather dated belief that you're either with someone, or you're not. I've seen people "Go on breaks", do horrible things that amount to cheating whilst on break, and then come back together only to throw the gloves off and rip into one another for everything that happened while on this "Break" and then break up fully.

Never accept "Taking a break". It usually just turns into a "Who can get the most dirt" fight.

[Archangel Tyrael]

I'll just add my situation and see what people have to say about it.

I've been in a long distance relationship with a girl for almost 2 years. She just recently told me that she wants to take a break with our relationship, but she still loves me. She said that she wants to "live" and not feel guilty about going to movies with guys and things like that. She said she doesn't want or hope that it will lead to sexual things, but she couldn't promise me that it wouldn't happen. She's always been completely honest with me. We had plans for me to move to live with her, but there was no specific date or anything. She has told me multiple times that she still hopes we will always be together and that she doesn't know how long the break will last and that she needs space. I know her very well (we've met multiple times) and she would never lead me on. She says she still wants to talk often and neither of us hold any resentment for each other. I was angry at first, but it's passed now.

Sounds like a whore.

[Spectral]

My girlfriend (Shock-Horror) once suggested that we "Take a break". I quickly shot that down in flames, due to my rather dated belief that you're either with someone, or you're not. I've seen people "Go on breaks", do horrible things that amount to cheating whilst on break, and then come back together only to throw the gloves off and rip into one another for everything that happened while on this "Break" and then break up fully.

Yeah, I've seen this as well. It's incredibly stupid. If what someone actually wants is an open relationship, they should just say so. If that idea crashes and burns, hey you're free to do as you like because you'll be single.

She said that she wants to "live" and not feel guilty about going to movies with guys and things like that. She said she doesn't want or hope that it will lead to sexual things, but she couldn't promise me that it wouldn't happen.

This is sweet of her to not put it in the most crushing fashion possible, but you don't actually believe this, do you? I mean, you're not 14. Dating is sex.

[The Dwarf]

Yeah, in that case, you're kinda broken up. Move on.

She just wants to have her cake and eat it, too. To date people but have a fall back guy if she doesn't find someone else. That's not at all fair to you.

With every other girl, this is what I would think. But the thing that makes her different is that she broke up with me once before, and made it clear that it was totally over (for different reasons). But she ended up coming back a day later. She always tells me the truth, even if it sucks sometimes. That is one reason why she is unlike every other girl who I've been with.

[Deleted]

I'll just add my situation and see what people have to say about it.

I've been in a long distance relationship with a girl for almost 2 years. She just recently told me that she wants to take a break with our relationship, but she still loves me. She said that she wants to "live" and not feel guilty about going to movies with guys and things like that. She said she doesn't want or hope that it will lead to sexual things, but she couldn't promise me that it wouldn't happen. She's always been completely honest with me. We had plans for me to move to live with her, but there was no specific date or anything. She has told me multiple times that she still hopes we will always be together and that she doesn't know how long the break will last and that she needs space. I know her very well (we've met multiple times) and she would never lead me on. She says she still wants to talk often and neither of us hold any resentment for each other. I was angry at first, but it's passed now.

That there has a horrible aroma of "I'll be back with you when I need you.". While the young lady has a right to live her life as she sees fit? She shouldn't be stringing you along like that, especially when it seems like she'll cut the strings at a moments notice.

[The Dwarf]

My girlfriend (Shock-Horror) once suggested that we "Take a break". I quickly shot that down in flames, due to my rather dated belief that you're either with someone, or you're not. I've seen people "Go on breaks", do horrible things that amount to cheating whilst on break, and then come back together only to throw the gloves off and rip into one another for everything that happened while on this "Break" and then break up fully.

Never accept "Taking a break". It usually just turns into a "Who can get the most dirt" fight.

I almost went down this path, but I restrained myself. I almost went full vent rage on her. But I realized that if she does really love me, she will come back and screaming at someone never accomplished anything except satisfaction in that moment.

[Deleted]

Yeah, I've seen this as well. It's incredibly stupid. If what someone actually wants is an open relationship, they should just say so. If that idea crashes and burns, hey you're free to do as you like because you'll be single.

Just so, chap. Just so.

[Brydie]

I almost went down this path, but I restrained myself. I almost went full vent rage on her. But I realized that if she does really love me, she will come back and screaming at someone never accomplished anything except satisfaction in that moment.

If she really did love you she would NEVER say she'd want a break. Sounds like she may love you but isn't "in love" with you anymore.

[Deleted]

I almost went down this path, but I restrained myself. I almost went full vent rage on her. But I realized that if she does really love me, she will come back and screaming at someone never accomplished anything except satisfaction in that moment.

Fleeting satisfaction at that.

Kudos for the mature handling, just do yourself a favour and don't wait. You said yourself it's long distance, so, not knowing where she is, what shes doing? Could drive you up the proverbial wall. So? I'd play her game, and see if you can find someone a little closer to home. You seem like a nice guy. Nice guys only finish last if they don't get off their rears and try to take life by the lapels.

[Itisamuh]

My girlfriend (Shock-Horror) once suggested that we "Take a break". I quickly shot that down in flames, due to my rather dated belief that you're either with someone, or you're not. I've seen people "Go on breaks", do horrible things that amount to cheating whilst on break, and then come back together only to throw the gloves off and rip into one another for everything that happened while on this "Break" and then break up fully.

Never accept "Taking a break". It usually just turns into a "Who can get the most dirt" fight.

Pretty much. It's basically just dumping someone, except stringing them along so they don't try getting with someone else while you're screwing around. If they want a break, it's done. Of course, I'd react the same if a girlfriend approached me about an open relationship. I'd end it on the spot and never look back.

[The Dwarf]

If she really did love you she would NEVER say she'd want a break. Sounds like she may love you but isn't "in love" with you anymore.

I suppose we'll see if this is the case or not.