Having multiple open relationships w/o telling partners

[Meil]

I'm not cheating on anyone. Please stop using this term. It's NOT cheating. I don't know what exactly to call it but it ISN'T called cheating.

If it walks like a duck

[Deleted]

Well, I have a hard time beliving you're telling the truth OP.

Why? Because the stereotype forum goer is an awkward forever alone nerd? Yeah, the stereotype exists for a reason but there are exceptions.

[d0e1ow]

Do you think it is wrong to have open relationships without telling your girlfriends? I've been having multiple lives lately with multiple females. It's gotten to the point where I confuse the females names a lot and no I'm not joking about any of this, I really need help. There are 2 or 3 of the females I really kind of like and the rest of them I sort of kind of like so I am having a hard time choosing which ones I should drop and which ones I should keep. It feels like I'm working multiple full time jobs here and I really have no me time.

I've been trying to keep it under the table for as long as possible but it's really starting to eat me alive. I started with just 3 females and back then it was really easy, now I'm up to 7 and a half (the half means I'm unsure about one) and they always ask me what I'm doing with I'm not spending time with them and I also have to change the subject or try to throw out a lie on the spot. Overall I'm really surprised of how well of a liar I am even though I think it is wrong. I'm working on my 8th relationship and it hit me, I wasn't sure if I could keep this up.

A few of the females are extremely clingy and I feel like if I break it to them, they will go crazy. Help me. How would I go about reducing the amount of relationships without being too harsh? One of the females has even been to prison for severally injuring her ex after she found out he was cheating on her. When she told me that story I got really scared, I feel she might do the same to me if I break it to her.

I've already met 4 of their parents and I've sorta kind of made plans to marry 2 of them (Well not ACTUAL plans but it has been discussed frequently) and they are always wanting to spend more time with me even though it is simply not possible. 3 or those 4 females whose parents I met are the ones I plan to drop but I just don't know how.

This is precisely one of the reasons things like sleeping around and adultery are forbidden in so many religions/cultures. Mostly to protect the women. Serious btw.

What you have just told me honestly is disgusting. Not only is it dishonest, but it's selfish on your part. Also, what bout disease as I'm assuming you're all sleeping together (by proxy! ) How do you know that you aren't spreading an illness to them? Have they all been recently tested? Do you know they are monogamous in regards to you? What if they aren't? What if you get an STD then give it to the others. Do YOU get regularly tested?

tut tut.

the worst part of this, is that there is no consequence. There is no punishment. Wanna know why it's so common? That's why. No one considers the human cost of emotions and the hurt it causes, no one considers the diseases, and no one is ever meaningfully punished in a public light. Those few who have been hit with lawsuits and what not over stuff like this (yes, it has happened), lost money, or lost their children... BEEN PUNISHED... ask them how quickly they would cheat or sleep around again. You are dealing with PEOPLE, NOT objects. Have compassion.

Remember! Peace!

[dextersmith]

How does one realistically plan to marry more than one girl? How do you consider any of these relationships (relationship = 1)? These are glorified lies and you're a douche for seeking council from a forum to further hurt and deceive these women. Did you come here because your friends (if you have any) have too much integrity to abate you? Learn to respect women, they are your mother, sisters, and with luck, won't be your wife or baby's momma. Know that karma can be a bitch.

[d0e1ow]

How does one realistically plan to marry more than one girl? How do you consider any of these relationships (relationship = 1)? These are glorified lies and you're a douche for seeking council from a forum to further hurt and deceive these women. Did you come here because your friends (if you have any) have too much integrity to abate you? Learn to respect women, they are your mother, sisters, and with luck, won't be your wife or baby's momma. Know that karma can be a bitch.

Bless you. <3 !!!

[waldona]

I'm not cheating on anyone. Please stop using this term. It's NOT cheating. I don't know what exactly to call it but it ISN'T called cheating.

First, I realize this story is made up and designed to get a rise out of gamers. Even if it were true, who would look to 14 year old gamers for life advice?

But I'll play along. You have said that each girl is unaware of the others. You have said that you have discussed or implied marriage with at least one, probably more. So you have intentionally led each one to believe they are in an exclusive relationship with you. Whether you admit it or not, this is the covenant you have established with these women. You don't need a written contract, that is just denial double-speak.

But in fact this is a lie. You are telling them one thing and then doing the exact opposite. I have no idea how you define 'cheating' but to the rest of us this is the exact definition of cheating.

If you honestly want to choose one and have a legitimate relationship with her, you have to explain to this person the truth and then they can decide if they can live with your behavior. Remember a relationship is a two-way street, not something designed just for you. Without the truth, even if you drop the others, what stops you from just doing it all over again?

Sounds like you have no interest in an actual relationship. Rather you are just considering choosing one as a kept woman.

[Deleted]

Top fucking thread, mate.

It's not a properly open relationship if they don't know about each other. What I recommend is pretending you have some kind of fatal character flaw that means you can't pursue a real relationship. Something like you get incredibly jealous, and it wouldn't be fair upon them to have to put up with it. Bonus points if you manage to work in the line "the people I love will always be the ones who pay". Out-fucking-standing though. Bravo.

[Deleted]

There are implicit conditions under which the relationship is formed, which can easily be inferred from cultural norms. That you didn't explicitly state them does not matter.

Where can I get a copy of these conditions? It does matter, if they were not stated then they do not apply.

[Åmbulance]

Where can I get a copy of these conditions? It does matter, if they were not stated then they do not apply.

It's called basic principles, which you obviously do not have. You feel that you can operate different from the norm, and some how basic principles do not apply to you. Every single one of these girls would be mad if they found out the truth, ergo you are cheating on them.

Quit trying to justify your stupidity with their lack of knowing what a cheating person you are.

[Deleted]

How does one realistically plan to marry more than one girl?

I did not actually "plan" them. They were discussed.

Example: Something like "this would be a nice place to live once we get married" "yes, I agree, it is a lovely place indeed"

[Deletedaccount4857174]

Do you think it is wrong to have open relationships without telling your girlfriends? I've been having multiple lives lately with multiple females. It's gotten to the point where I confuse the females names a lot and no I'm not joking about any of this, I really need help. There are 2 or 3 of the females I really kind of like and the rest of them I sort of kind of like so I am having a hard time choosing which ones I should drop and which ones I should keep. It feels like I'm working multiple full time jobs here and I really have no me time.

I've been trying to keep it under the table for as long as possible but it's really starting to eat me alive. I started with just 3 females and back then it was really easy, now I'm up to 7 and a half (the half means I'm unsure about one) and they always ask me what I'm doing with I'm not spending time with them and I also have to change the subject or try to throw out a lie on the spot. Overall I'm really surprised of how well of a liar I am even though I think it is wrong. I'm working on my 8th relationship and it hit me, I wasn't sure if I could keep this up.

A few of the females are extremely clingy and I feel like if I break it to them, they will go crazy. Help me. How would I go about reducing the amount of relationships without being too harsh? One of the females has even been to prison for severally injuring her ex after she found out he was cheating on her. When she told me that story I got really scared, I feel she might do the same to me if I break it to her.

I've already met 4 of their parents and I've sorta kind of made plans to marry 2 of them (Well not ACTUAL plans but it has been discussed frequently) and they are always wanting to spend more time with me even though it is simply not possible. 3 or those 4 females whose parents I met are the ones I plan to drop but I just don't know how.

If someone ever did this to me i would kill them

Its only called an open relationship if the people you are with, know fully about it and your other partners. Your just cheating

/thread

[Deleted]

Every single one of these girls would be mad if they found out the truth, ergo you are cheating on them.

There is no proof that every single one of them would be upset, for all we know they would be completely fine with it.

[Cthulhu 2020]

Where can I get a copy of these conditions? It does matter, if they were not stated then they do not apply.

If you're dating in any English speaking first world western culture (unless you're a Mormon) then the unspoken rules of having a relationship is that you are exclusive with that person.

That you know you have to lie about what you do when not with one of those females to maintain these various relationships is your self realization that it is in fact cheating.

- - - Updated - - -

There is no proof that every single one of them would be upset, for all we know they would be completely fine with it.

There is no proof that any of them would be fine with it either.

[Deleted]

If someone ever did this to me i would kill them

/thread

This is what I'm afraid of. Please don't let any of them share your mentality.

[Deleted]

There is no proof that every single one of them would be upset, for all we know they would be completely fine with it.

Well... why not just tell them then, if you believe that way? What are you worrying about then?

[Skurupu]

You say the relationships are "open". If they already are OK with you sleeping with other women, then maybe they will understand your situation if you just tell them.

It's the lies that's wrong, not the sex. Just tell them!

[MerinPally]

Top fucking thread, mate.

It's not a properly open relationship if they don't know about each other. What I recommend is pretending you have some kind of fatal character flaw that means you can't pursue a real relationship. Something like you get incredibly jealous, and it wouldn't be fair upon them to have to put up with it. Bonus points if you manage to work in the line "the people I love will always be the ones who pay". Out-fucking-standing though. Bravo.

Christmas hat in that avatar. Oh god, it's time.

Nice post, whatever it says though. Can't say I've read it, I just saw the hat.

[Åmbulance]

There is no proof that every single one of them would be upset, for all we know they would be completely fine with it.

For all we know unicorns exist on another interplanetary plane, that co-exists with humans, and in the year 2050, we will develop a 8th sense, which can sense such things.

[Deleted]

Do you think it is wrong to have open relationships without telling your girlfriends?

What? This doesn't even make sense. You know the word "OPEN"? The whole point of it is that you are telling your significant other. Otherwise it is not open. Cheating in open relationships is impossible - because both parties are, you know open about it. But it also means it is logically impossible to have an "open relationships without telling".

It sounds like you want to discuss whether cheating is wrong or not, which is fine to discuss, but don't dress it up as "open relationship" just because it sounds better, when it is the OPPOSITE of open relationship.

[Deleted]

If this was reddit this would be posted in r/thathappened.

Stop feeding the **oll already, its painfully obvious.