Are we and my classmate cousins?

[marcus903]

I got a serious question:

Yesterday, three of my teachers (one is a guidance counselor) visited me at my house to do a pre-graduation ceremony (because my mom has four-state cancer). My two aunts was there. Here is thing, though: for 19 years, I thought I always had one aunt. a few weeks ago (a few days after my mom came home from the hospital), I learned that my mom had a sister on her fathers side (who died when I was a baby).

Then, when my two teachers and guidance counselor went to my house on May 26th, I learned that one of my classmates who I've known throughout my high school tenure shares the same aunt as one of my aunts.

However, here is the thing that confuses me: she told me that we are not "real cousins" because she is the sister of my mother's side and is the sister of my classmates fathers side (who died shortly before the start of my junior year, I believe). so this would technically make us half-cousins because we both only share the aunt of our fathers side, since we don't actually hav the same grandmother, but it is possible that we hav the same grandfather.

ar we real half-cousins, second cousins, or not really cousins? thanks.

[TrumpIsPresident]

Falls into the "distant relations" category, but in order to provide any specific advice we're going to need to see her pic.

[Duridi]

Can't blame you for being confused. I've tried twisting my head around what you are saying, but I don't get more than the first part.

I'll advice to to check up the family tree, starting at your grandfather. Check for your classmate at the end of a branch. If there isn't a family tree available already, start creating one yourself, to get a visual of any possible relation.

That said, you can't be his cousin, since your mother's half sister died as a baby and therefore could not have had any kids.

[OzoAndIndi]

Ok, lost me a bit there...

because we both only share the aunt of our fathers side

Are you both genetically related to this aunt? Then that would at least make you cousins to some extent. If by marriage only, then technically cousin-in-law, so to speak.

Even if you don't share the same grandparents, do you share great grandparents? Or great great? Or.. you get the picture. If you share a common someone then yeah, you're cousins. Though I agree the whole cousin set up can get confusing once you get beyond first and second cousins. If you guys are friends at all then kinda cool if it turns out you're related.

If your bloodlines don't connect, well then something more like a cousin once removed or cousin-in-law or.. something like that maybe.

[Kalis]

This story is a mess.

Forget about the aunts and who died as it is complicating things - is your classmate's father your mother's half brother?

If so, her father is your half-uncle and your classmate is your half-cousin.

[Deleted]

What did you and your cousin do exactly?

[Lubricious]

Ok, to make any sense of this you're gonna have to clarify. You start off by saying your two aunts were there, but you thought you only had one aunt, and found out you had a deceased aunt. The math doesn't add up on that, clearly you knew you had at least 2 aunts because they were there.

Then you say this classmate of yours has the same aunt as one of your aunts. That doesn't make a lot of sense as it's written, so clarify. Do you both have the same aunt? If that's what it is, just say so.

Then you say 'she' told you that you aren't real cousins because reasons. By she you mean the classmate I assume, or do you mean the aunt? I'm not even going to try and diagram what you typed after that. Take it one step at a time and lay out who is who.

[Kalis]

Ok, to make any sense of this you're gonna have to clarify. You start off by saying your two aunts were there, but you thought you only had one aunt, and found out you had a deceased aunt. The math doesn't add up on that, clearly you knew you had at least 2 aunts because they were there.

I think the line "I learned that my mom had a sister on her fathers side (who died when I was a baby)." refers to the death of the father, not the sister, but it's just really badly written, i.e. the OP's maternal grandfather died when the OP was a baby.

[Deleted]

My head hurts just trying to make sense of this.

But cousins are boneable in America right?

Or was that just a myth...

[Deleted]

Isn't like every human being on the planet at least 7th cousin of each other?

[Duridi]

Might it be so that your mother's half sister, have another half sister aswell? One which your grandfather is not the father of? In that case you don't really have any relation other than your mother's half sister. Asking this since you are talking about aunts...

[Puupi]

What did you do or are planning to do with your cousin?

Somehow I got this Chinatown vibe from OP...

"She's my sister! She's my daughter!" - Chinatown

[Tirivaria]

The simplest rule is, if you can trace both of you back to a common ancestor somewhere, then you are cousins of some type. If you have to cross a marriage at some point to make the link, then you are technically not cousins.

This happened to me too, finding out a girl I knew was actually part of my extended family. But in my case, it was because my mother's cousin is married to her mother's cousin. We don't share a common ancestor and therefore are not cousins.

[Limmy]

What I don't understand, or is very confusing, is that you keep mentioning "who died"
so who is actually dead? "I learned that my mom had a sister on her fathers side (who died when I was a baby)"
Your mom's sister? So you can see ghost? Since "My two aunts was there"
"she is the sister of my mother's side and is the sister of my classmates fathers side (who died shortly before the start of my junior year, I believe)"
Who died there? That same aunt? or the whole "fathers side"?
About the cousin thing,
You mentioned "we both only share the aunt of our fathers side" you mean your mother's side right? and your classmate's father side
Well if you both share the same grandparent(s), you should be cousins
But your mother didn't know she had another half sibling? or they didn't get along well?

[Pendulous]

Yes, either way. You can be cousins by marriage. Doesn't really make a difference. Once you get past straight siblings and direct family, you can pretty much call anyone anything and it's ok. Like how kids call their parents' friends aunts and uncles.

[Vivapin8]

What I don't understand, or is very confusing, is that you keep mentioning "who died"
so who is actually dead? "I learned that my mom had a sister on her fathers side (who died when I was a baby)"
Your mom's sister? So you can see ghost? Since "My two aunts was there"
"she is the sister of my mother's side and is the sister of my classmates fathers side (who died shortly before the start of my junior year, I believe)"
Who died there? That same aunt? or the whole "fathers side"?
About the cousin thing,
You mentioned "we both only share the aunt of our fathers side" you mean your mother's side right? and your classmate's father side
Well if you both share the same grandparent(s), you should be cousins
But your mother didn't know she had another half sibling? or they didn't get along well?

Wait i think i solved the OP`s Puzzle: The OP`s Grandfather did have 3 daughters, 2 with the Grandmother of the OP and 1 from other Source. That 1 at the same time did have a brother from another father, that Brother is the father of the classmate!

So answer his question if it`s legal to bang that a$$

[CptMitta]

Sorry son, you're a Lannister.

[vindicatorx]

But cousins are boneable in America right?

No, first cousins are not boneable.

[marcus903]

Ok, to make any sense of this you're gonna have to clarify. You start off by saying your two aunts were there, but you thought you only had one aunt, and found out you had a deceased aunt. The math doesn't add up on that, clearly you knew you had at least 2 aunts because they were there.

Then you say this classmate of yours has the same aunt as one of your aunts. That doesn't make a lot of sense as it's written, so clarify. Do you both have the same aunt? If that's what it is, just say so.

Then you say 'she' told you that you aren't real cousins because reasons. By she you mean the classmate I assume, or do you mean the aunt? I'm not even going to try and diagram what you typed after that. Take it one step at a time and lay out who is who.

Sorry, i made some minor errors. all this confusion has gotten my head fucked up.

Auntie Mary (the aunt i am referring to) is the sister of my mother and the sister of my classmate's father. I always thought that i only had one aunt. a few weeks ago, I found out that Auntie Mary is my mother's sister on HER father's side. Yesterday, while my teachers was at my house, I learned that Auntie Mary is also the sister of my classmate's father.

Does this make more sens now?

[Belloc]

Sorry, i made some minor errors. all this confusion has gotten my head fucked up.

Auntie Mary (the aunt i am referring to) is the sister of my mother and the sister of my classmate's father. I always thought that i only had one aunt. a few weeks ago, I found out that Auntie Mary is my mother's sister on HER father's side. Yesterday, while my teachers was at my house, I learned that Auntie Mary is also the sister of my classmate's father.

Does this make more sens now?

So, if your Auntie Mary is the sister of your mother and the sister of your classmate's father, wouldn't that make your classmate's father your sister's brother? In other words, your uncle?