I'm confused.. Do i love her ?

[Slothanator]

As someone else said, its lust not love.

Love is subjective,lust to someone could be their love. EVery relationship in the world is just brain chemicals and shared benefits for both parties,Love isn't some magical thing that happens that some of the population experience. Those are just people who get along better.

[Sunseeker]

2 months man, 2 months! Chill bro and just let it flow.

[Koyoti]

I have to admit, I love posts like this on forums. It really gives you an insight into the age of the poster and all the people answering, even though most of them don't realise it yet

[Tucci]

You don't have to fall head over heels for someone to want to be with them and stay with them. Do you "love" your friends or family to the point of always wanting them to be around and always missing them any time they're not? No, not usually. But it would be devastating to lose them. Maybe it just means that you're in a comfortable, trusting relationship. And in my opinion, those are the best kind. The kind where you don't have to worry about anything and you're just like really good friends. If you love seeing her and being with her, I don't see a problem. Don't overthink it, that's how good things get ruined. No sense in creating problems that don't exist.

[Conspicuous Cultist]

I have to admit, I love posts like this on forums. It really gives you an insight into the age of the poster and all the people answering, even though they don't realise it yet

You might be surprised. Age is irrelevant.

[Zardi]

"Not missing" =/= "Not loving"

You've been dating for a while now, and the time where you actually think about each other every second only lasts for so long. You're past that stage and your relationship is maturing. If you're still together and having a helluva good time, just enjoy it and don't waste your efforts asking yourself pointless questions.

[Koyoti]

You might be surprised. Age is irrelevant.

I wouldn't be at all surprised.
Age is never irrelevant, it colours your view of everything, whether you like it or not.

[Sunseeker]

I wouldn't be at all surprised.
Age is never irrelevant, it colours your view of everything, whether you like it or not.

Perhaps, but the degree to which it does so depends on the individual.

[Mirishka]

After asking some friends, my mom and my brother maybe you could help me find some light in what happens in my head.

So i've been with this awesome girl for 2 months now (we dated 2 months before being with each others ''officially'') and everything is great since then. We have the same sense of humor, we go along well together. She smart and hot. She does everything to make me an happy camper. Just like she was the perfect girl for me and i love her a lot.

But.. (yeah here the twist)

Sometimes i feel like i don't love her ?! When we don't see each others for 3-5 days (because of work) i don't really miss her. I feel like i don't give a.. ! and i'm just doing my thing like working, gaming, riding my bike.. Like i was single and alone


Stange thing is when she with me.. mannn i'm so fine and all.

She love me a lot, i'm attracted to her and she make me feel like i'm a champion.

But otherwise.. Everything is kinda meh.

Never happens to me before so yeah i'm confused. I don't want to hurt her..or myself !

If you seriously need the help of a bunch of random weirdos on a forum to figure this out, your relationship is pretty much screwed. Sorry.

[Stonecloak]

Perhaps, but the degree to which it does so depends on the individual.

I think it was just worded wrong. To me it seems like somebody having nostalgic memories of young love. Or just the evolution of the word that it is to many.

- - - Updated - - -

Do yourselves a favor and don't bite.

[Calibar]

This is something that you should read.

http://m.wikihow.com/Know-the-Differ...ation-and-Lust

Its very helpful... remember to think about your future when making decisions about people you want to be in a relationship with. You want someone that will be your partner in life to inspire you to be better and to lift you up but also someone who will support you and comfort you in your times of hardship... but you must be that person for him or her to. Love isn't what you see in the movies.. or it rarely ever is... love needs to be worked at...

Anyways I think you should read the article and sort out your thoughts and emotions and do a lot of thinking about who you'd like as your partner in life and possibly the mother of your children... try not to be irrational in the decision that you make as it is a very life defining decision... because to me it sounds like you have a really great girlfriend but I have limited info and that's just my opinion.

Also I think right now you feel safe and you're not afraid of loosing her or anything and that shouldn't be a bad thing and shouldn't have you feeling confused... try to imagine the emotion that you would feel if you walked in on her sleeping with another man... if you think you still wouldn't care, then maybe you don't have true feelings for her. But I know I've been the same way like I don't feel like I miss my gf much... but if I lost her I think my world would come tumbling down... its just like I love my parents to death but it doesn't bother me that I can go weeks without seeing them.

Have a read of that article... love is different to infatuation and lust

I hope in my little ramble of thoughts that I may have somehow helped you.

[Sunnydruid]

I wouldn't be at all surprised.
Age is never irrelevant, it colours your view of everything, whether you like it or not.

To a point. Age is irrelevant right now. I can't tell if you are 16 or 60. And it doesn't change my views on you at all.

[glo]

The first thing to come to terms with is that love isn't a tangible thing, it isn't anything at all. It's a word people made up to describe a high level of emotional dependency.

[N-7]

I don't know about your situation but while I have to travel away from my lover (work & stuff) for couple of months I miss him a lot. I mean I can do it but it isn't that easy.

[Koyoti]

To a point. Age is irrelevant right now. I can't tell if you are 16 or 60. And it doesn't change my views on you at all.

As I said before, age is never irrelevant. It does make you see things differently. Whether it be personal experience or seeing the experiences of others.
There is a reason that a lot of humans in the past (and some still do now) revered their elders for their knowledge and experience.

I look at the op and think, now there's a question I was asking 30 yrs ago, and heard many of my friends ask. I remember the answers given at the time by my peers and by myself to my friends and think, THAT'S how I thought or what I heard 30 yrs ago. It colours my view and gives me an insight into how old the posters are by their answers and the (what I now see as) lack of experience contained in them.

Anyhow, enough of the off topic stuff. I'll retire gracefully and let the topic continue on it's course into oblivion.

[Realsykes]

You love the idea of her, you're not in love with her, herself. Two months doesn't blossom love, idc what anyone says, that's the honeymoon phase, and gets mistaken a lot. Loving someone requires you to love the good and bad, and if you don't see enough, on top of two months, is not enough time to see the "real" her.

[Gwiez]

It sounds like you're a fairly independent person. Romantic love ebbs and flows, if you're past an initial infatuation phase that doesn't mean you don't love her. And contrary to what a lot of people are saying, romantic love does include sexual attraction. People who use phrases like "in lust" just have sexual hang-ups. If you've got a partnership that you both think is worth continuing, then by all means, continue. It may take effort on your part (and hers) especially when you feel indifferent.

[Deleted]

Maybe, maybe not. And that's the best answer anyone other than you can give you, OP.

People have a loooad of stupid rules and ideas about what love can/can't be and should/shouldn't be though and they really need to shut the fuck up with them all. You may as well be arguing about what happiness is, or what blue is. Everyone's experience is potentially different and completley unknowable. Let's take a few of these things and have a look at them to help you figure out what's going on though!

"It's only 2 months! You can't love someone after 2 months!" - Well, quite the claim. Some people may not be able to love someone after two months, and some types of love may not be possible after only 2 months. On the other hand, some people speak of love at first sight, whirlwind romances, etc etc. It's easy to dismiss these things as "Not real love" and while I'm sure some of them arn't, many of them ARE real love, and have the 20 year-long relationship following it as evidence. Don't try to act like your version of love is better just because it took you longer to get there, guys!

"Age difference!" - Sometimes age is a big factor. Sometimes it isn't. It totally depends where everyone is in their life, their experiences, what they want from life, their maturity, etc etc.

"If you're not longing for him/her all day and all night, then it's not love. Love is when you can't possibly be apart from someone" - For some people, this is absolutley true. It depends on the kind of person you are though. Similar to have some people need to be alone to "recharge their batteries" and other people need to be around people, socialising to recharge. Some people need their space, and are happy to see the person they love less frequently and really enjoy the times they DO get to spend together and make the most of them etc, while other people can't be apart from the person they love or they feel all sad and lonley etc etc. Also depends on what kind of a person the person you love is, too. If you're one of the people who needs space, and the person you love isn't, then it can leave you feeling really smothered so you are actually longing to be away from them for 5 minutes. If that's what you need, then it's what you need. It's not to say you don't love them (or vice versa).


and finally...

"When it's true love, you'll know and you won't have to ask!" - To an extent, I get where this is coming from. End of the day, no one else knows your mind and only you can know if it's love or not. That said, being confused about your feelings does not mean your feelings arn't real. Feelings are confusing as fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck you guys. Like I love pancakes guys like HOLY SHIT I love pancakes but sometimes I eat a whole bunch of pancakes and there is still some pancake mixture left and I'm like, feeling all sick and like I want to vomit and the thought of eating another pancake makes me want to die and I'm like HOW COULD I SAY I LOVE PANCAKES? PANCAKES ARE THE WORST I FEEL SO BAD RIGHT NOW but that's not really how I feel and maybe I'll eat that last pancake and regret the shit out of it and question whether or not I even like pancakes for like a good 3 or 4 days but then you go past the eggs in the supermarket again and you're like "Why helllooo there" but then you remember how you felt earlier in the week and you're like "Well now I don't know WHAT i feel. I'm hungry and want to buy the eggs and make the pancakes but the memory of how awful those pancakes made me feel last time is still fresh in my memory and even though I can't bring up the exact feeling that the pancakes made me feel at the time I'm PRETTY MUCH MOSTLY POSITIVE THAT IT WAS BAD but then you buy the eggs anyway because you're indesicive but on the way to the checkout you're like "Well, I don't want pancakes that badly, I 'll just put the eggs in the fridge and if I ever feel like eating them, I will do, and if not I'll just make scrambled eggs one day" but then the bag rips on the way out of the shop and all the eggs break and all of a sudden you're UTTERLY HEARTBROKEN about the fact that you won't get pancakes any more but you're too embarrassed to go back into the shop to buy more and besides you don't really want them anyway right? and the point of all this is that feelings are confusing and just because you don't know how you feel about love and about someone doesn't mean you can't possibly love someone. But yeah, no one CAN tell you how you feel either, this is true.

[cuafpr]

If you're confused, you don't. That's easy enough.

this pretty much sums it up.

[Mormolyce]

Sounds like you're not that into having a gf.

She might just be sleeping with your parents, dude.

That never gets old.