Why is it wrong to call someone out on being fat?

[Lovechile]

I was reading through the other post about the woman who chooses to be fat, and I was, as a fat woman myself, wondering WHY is it so taboo to intervention for someone and their weight. I mean, we can literally complain about anything else that can be helped, but, why not when someone's fat? I mean, I'll be honest, I do have a couple of health issues that make it REALLY hard to lose weight (under-active thyroid and sleep apnea) but I'm working on them. I'm due to get a cpap machine soon so hopefully I'll have more energy to really exercise after I start breathing and sleeping right at night, and I'm working on my thyroid meds to make sure my levels are right. I try to eat correctly (I do cheat and use 3 teaspoons of sugar and a boatload of creamer in my coffee...can't do without that) but I've been swapping ground turkey in place of ground beef a lot, basically cut sodas out, drinking tons of water, walking, etc...And while I'm not doing EVERYTHING I could, I'm trying -- even though it's not working at the moment, I'm still trying --

but the thing that got me started? My husband came to me and said "babe, I love you no matter what, but I'm worried about your health"

Why is that so wrong? We can intervention when it's drugs, abuse, addition to anything but food. I don't understand why...who wants to watch their loved one eat themselves to death?

just wondering what everyone's thoughts are on this.

Edit -- I wrote this way past my bedtime (heuheuheu) so I wasn't the most coherent person ever. I'm asking why it's taboo for someone you know PERSONALLY to say "please could you start watching your weight? I worry about your health" and not walking up to a random fat person and smacking the cheeseburger out of their hand and saying "LOSE SOME WEIGHT FATTY". I mean, if we have a relative doing meth or addictive to gambling or anything else destructive like that, we'd step in and help if we could -- and let's be honest as fat people...most (and I do mean like, 90%) are fat because we like food. I know I certainly got to be 300lbs because food is DELICIOUS.

[Marthenil]

Well mostly because people that are fat dislike it. While I used to be fat, I knew I was fat, I still felt a little bit bad when someone called me so, even if that is what I was.

[Kraenen]

Nothing wrong with worrying about a loved one and helping if they want that help.

[Forgon]

Question is invalid..

It's not wrong... It's just not nice.

[Jester Joe]

If it's a loved one, I don't see anything wrong with it too much.
Offering help, saying it kindly, those are all one thing.

Some random person on the street, why does it matter to you if they're fat?

[Delekii]

Fat people know that they are fat. I promise. You don't have to tell them, and you aren't telling them anything they don't know.

[Marthenil]

Question is invalid..

It's not wrong... It's just not nice.

Yeah, that's what I was trying to convey.

[Faltemer]

Well the situation you described wasn't what i would consider the norm of calling people out on their weight. If everyone who complained about it was referring to their life partners saying they are worrying about their safety then there would be no debate they would be in the wrong. But if a random person or anyone other then loved ones says something about your weight particularly if it isn't worded so it is about that it has negative side effects then it might come across as rude or mean.

In your case your husband wasn't in the wrong whatsoever and people should be allowed, nay encouraged to say stuff like that.

[Zenotetsuken]

There is nothing wrong with telling a loved one that you worry about their health.

[ScrappyMuffy]

If the people closest to you can't call you out for being fat, then nobody will. And if nobody does, you'll die in your 50s at the latest.

So yeah, I'd say it's ok to call you out on it.

I'm not for fat-shaming, but I also dislike the whole "it's ok to be fat" culture we have going on here in the US. It's not healthy, and it's not ok. I say that because I care about people.

[THE Bigzoman]

Because most common sense things towards bad choices is shielded by unsubstantiated accusations of being an asshole or "judgemental"

[prwraith]

Because in the modern world offending people is worse than a mortal sin...for some reason

[Kowloon]

I don't think it's wrong to call somebody fat. However, it is a sensitive topic for the overweight and most people don't get approached in the right way. I'm sure the overweight know that they are fat. Nobody likes being told the obvious and when done poorly, it just becomes worse.

I don't understand why people try to justify their fatness in recent years. It's very unhealthy. It's an addiction just like drugs, imo.

[Felya]

It's a pejorative word... as simple as that...

[prwraith]

3:35 in, on being offended

[The Glitch]

A loved one telling you they are worried for your health is one thing, some random person calling you fat or being rude about your weight, is another. Honestly, as someone mentioned overweight people know they are overweight, and are probably dealing with enough problems that comes along with being overweight, without being insulted as such.

There are many issues that can come along with being overweight, aswell as issues that cause weight gain, making someone feel worse about their situation isn't helping, but can make things even worse. Yes some people can take the insults, but that still doesn;t make it right.

Have a thought about someone elses feelings, and think how you'd feel in a similar situation, with an issue that is quite difficult to deal with. Kindness goes a long way.

[Deleted]

You would (as a stranger) not say to this guy, "Hey you have a Facial disfigurement" unless you where a callous unfeeling bastard.
Treat someone who is overweight with the same respect, IE if you can not say something positive, or see past the bodily issue, then say nothing and fuck off elsewhere.

Overweight people know they are overweight, Chances are they are doing things to resolve the problem, and having people them out on it can and does set off a cycle of depression and comfort eating.

[Kraenen]

Because in the modern world offending people is worse than a mortal sin...for some reason

I think it's always been like that, hasn't it?

[Man-of-Blue]

There's a big, big difference between telling someone that you're worried about them and their health and just straight up ridiculing them and calling them fat. If you don't see what's wrong with the latter, then have fun being a dickwad I guess? Common decency isn't that hard

[breadisfunny]

i see nothing wrong with it.