Why does society push getting a girl/boyfriend?

[plantation]

First off, I'd like to say that I hardly consider myself a "slayer" by any stretch of the imagination whatsoever, but I DO prefer casual relationships over going out on dates, meeting parents, etc. Yet for whatever reason society makes me out to be a bad guy because I don't want a traditional girlfriend; likewise they make girls out to be sluts, whores, easy.. you get the idea.

Go home and tell your mom you found a girl, but she's strictly your fwb. See how well THAT goes over.

[GennGreymane]

dude/dudette...... *hug*

I feel and hear the exact same things! I also prefer casual dating with no particular goal in mind. EX: I do not date with the goal of getting a girl friend. All my friends look at me as if I have 3 heads though!

[Nihilan]

Reproduction and continuation of the species. Biological imperative demonstrated as peer pressure.

FWB is sexing for funsies instead of for children. It will get you a pat on the back from your father, but your mother will likely disapprove because she wants grandkids.

[ro9ue]

Don't fret, I hear the same thing. Huge Italian family that likes lots of kids. I don't really do relationships well and have no desire for kids. Family get togethers are hell.

[Deleted]

Because it says so in the Grand Manual of Life.

Get born - get a mate - dump some kids - die

Gotta stick to the manual, man.

[poser765]

First off, I'd like to say that I hardly consider myself a "slayer" by any stretch of the imagination whatsoever, but I DO prefer casual relationships over going out on dates, meeting parents, etc. Yet for whatever reason society makes me out to be a bad guy because I don't want a traditional girlfriend; likewise they make girls out to be sluts, whores, easy.. you get the idea.

Go home and tell your mom you found a girl, but she's strictly your fwb. See how well THAT goes over.

Because you are an exception. Sure I guess a lot of people want to have fun when they are young, they also want to eventually settle down with someone in a lasting relationship. To most people, lasting relationships are more meaningful than flings and friends with benefits.

[El_Diabl0]

Because it says so in the Grand Manual of Life.

Get born - get a mate - dump some kids - die

Gotta stick to the manual, man.

As it should be. That's the reason we're here after all.

[Revi]

Don't worry about it, it'll pass either with time or when you find the right girl. No point rushing into a relationship until you're ready for it.

And if it doesn't, you'll die childless and alone.

[Itakas]

First off, I'd like to say that I hardly consider myself a "slayer" by any stretch of the imagination whatsoever, but I DO prefer casual relationships over going out on dates, meeting parents, etc. Yet for whatever reason society makes me out to be a bad guy because I don't want a traditional girlfriend; likewise they make girls out to be sluts, whores, easy.. you get the idea.

Go home and tell your mom you found a girl, but she's strictly your fwb. See how well THAT goes over.

Whaaat? a slayer, you really couldnt find a better word?

As for your question, i also prefer casual dates and dont plan to have an "official" girlfriend anytime soon. so can only agree with you. Most of my friends have girlfriends, few married with kids and my male friend dont really care about it, but the females seem to care, or well notice it a lot. Lately it has even gone so far as to some of the female friends trying to convince me i should find a girlfriend and then bringing some random girl from work, etc. in an attempt to set us up. Fucking wierd is all i have to say about that.

[Deleted]

Don't worry about it, it'll pass either with time or when you find the right girl. No point rushing into a relationship until you're ready for it.

And if it doesn't, you'll die childless and alone.

And that's a bad thing because.... ?

Gotta have children, man, roar!!

[Revi]

And that's a bad thing because.... ?

Gotta have children, man, roar!!

Didn't say it was.

[Primernova]

GFs or BFs are going to be your best friends, in life.

Sort of.

A lot can be gained with that level of cooperation. But also, a lot of bullshit can come from it, that makes it just a painful test of your honor and integrity.

Live life as you see fit IMO.

[grimsanta]

First off, I'd like to say that I hardly consider myself a "slayer" by any stretch of the imagination whatsoever, but I DO prefer casual relationships over going out on dates, meeting parents, etc. Yet for whatever reason society makes me out to be a bad guy because I don't want a traditional girlfriend; likewise they make girls out to be sluts, whores, easy.. you get the idea.

Go home and tell your mom you found a girl, but she's strictly your fwb. See how well THAT goes over.

1. Most people enjoy, especially as they get older, exclusive relationships.

2. Traditional relationships are often the only option for people. To be the type to have a FWB, you pretty much need to be above-average to most people. You have to have the looks, the sexual prowess, and the game to pull it off. That's a hard combination to come by for men. For women it's a little bit easier with the game and prowess parts, but if they don't have the looks (and most women don't), then it isn't going to be an option for them either. Personality goes a long ways in relationship, but it doesn't go very far in a FWB setup.

3. Parents are looking to protect their kids, and sex is a dangerous game. People get pregnent ALL the time, and while it's easily preventable, there are a lot of liars (sure she's on BC) and stupid people (just the tip I promise!). STDs are out there, and promiscuous behavior increases these chances. And of course parents often come from a generation where society was either very liberal, or very conservative on sex. Mine were liberal, in fact, my mom told me to get through school and not worry about a girlfriend and just sleep around and sow my seeds if I could.

4. Many women have been screwed over by FWB relationships, or think they have due to miscommunication. I've never mislead anyone, but I have had several women mad at me in the past for "leading them on" because they did not listen to me when I said very clearly that I wasn't looking for anything long term. They do this a few times and then when they hear a guy like you, they think you're a bad guy even though you aren't.

[moremana]

If your casually dating because your not ready for a long term relationship, then I commend you. This is only good though if your not stringing multiple women on at the same time.
If your just bouncing from bed to bed, then your a scum.

[Deleted]

To get a true relationship a girl/boyfriend must first and foremost be your best friend. If it's not someone interested in at least some of the stuff you are, and you can't relate to eachother outside of the bed, then that relationship is not going to have a future.

Imo, you can't find best friends in pubs, as those are very general places, you gotta check places where people with certain interests gather, interests that are the same as whatever you think it's important to you.

[Marrilaife]

Reproduction and continuation of the species. Biological imperative demonstrated as peer pressure.

FWB is sexing for funsies instead of for children. It will get you a pat on the back from your father, but your mother will likely disapprove because she wants grandkids.

Haha this. I told my mom since I was 12 I will never have kids, because I don't want to and she was like "when you grow up, you'll surely change your mind". Now I'm 31 and still didn't change my mind. I think she slowly starts to believe me I was serious...

And yeah in my country there is a loud crowd of people saying omg how can you not have kids, who will give you a glass of water when you're old and decrepit? I'm like... if that's the reason you have kids, poor kids.

Some people like me are born without maternal instinct. Too bad. My genetic legacy will expire, who cares? Some people like the OP might be born or developed without the need of long term relationship. Some other people are born anti-social and don't care to have friends, acquaintances or "hang out", "go out" and party, and yes a lot of those people sit in the internet instead, so you'll find them more often there. Ofc the society is always outraged when someone deviates from the common denominator. Some people use that outrage to play the rebel and be the center of attention. Some other people are annoyed and wish others would go by the rule "live and let live".

The crowd will always condemn those who don't match, doesn't matter if it's because you have FwB, you're gay, atheist, reject the "rat race", don't listen to popular music, don't shave your balls or have freckles. Any reason is good.

Personally I'm happily married and I enjoy a stable long-term relationship but I'm far from thinking everyone wants the same, and sadly a lot of people believe "what is best for me must be best for everyone". If you're single, and happy with it, and your FWB is also happy with the deal (and not secretly hoping you "really fall in love with her one day"), then no harm done to anyone, right? It's a honest deal between 2 adult people.

[poser765]

The crowd will always condemn those who don't match, doesn't matter if it's because you have FwB, you're gay, atheist, reject the "rat race", don't listen to popular music, don't shave your balls or have freckles. Any reason is good.

I don't know anybody that has ever talked bad or condemned someone for not wanting to have kids. We just don't get it. It's shocking to us. It's not wrong, by any stretch of the imagination, it's just hard to grasp something that is so fundamentally different than how most people see things.

[Deleted]

If you get desperate enough, you can try dating websites.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_QLofHLlNw

[The Kao]

Because it says so in the Grand Manual of Life.

Get born - get a mate - dump some kids - die

Gotta stick to the manual, man.

Not so sure about that. I mean that manual was written at a time when our race's average death rates were approximately the same as those of most other mammals. Does today's human society really require each and every being to produce children? We already exists in numbers that were never planned for, and you don't need to be a math genius to know that this will sooner or later become a problem of immense proportions. It's getting out of hand anyway, whether you chime in or not.

Sure thing the parent generations thought you'd go down the same road they did - but do you really want to live their ideals when yours are fundamentally different? We now have the luxury to be able to break out of that if we want and get away with it. Ask your ancestors from a hundred years ago what choices they had. Also you can't be sure how much longer things will really stay as they are now. Do your thing as long as you can, and never look back.

[GennGreymane]

I am so glad there are others! everyone makes me feel like a horrible person!