What was the funniest way you injured yourself?

[Ergar]

I was like 9 or 10 when i lost all the skin of my left hands ring finger. I was sitting in my grandmothers deck chair (or whatever its called in english, the one where you pull the armrests up and the back lowers). Anyways i was getting up from it and somehow my finger got stuck between the armsrest. Didn't notice it in time, so when i stood up the skin from my finger was gone, right down to the "red meat".

It hurt like a bitch, but only took a few weeks to heal.

[Friendlyimmolation]

My dad and I were working in our attic, he tossed me a hammer me and I slipped reaching out for it and fell through the attic floor and came crashing through the ceiling of my room. Big ouch, but it was funny.

[Shakadam]

I was doing my military service and one day was out in the forest "guarding" some stupid checkpoint all by myself, not another soul within a kilometer. I'd been at it for a couple hours and was extremely bored at this stage (we all know that's when shit happens), decided to start chopping up some wood with my knife to use as kindling for a fire or whatever.
Chopped myself pretty deep in my left thumb, blood pouring out (seriously I had no idea there were any veins of that size in a thumb Oo). Applied some kind of makeshift bandage and went off in search of the medic tent. Atleast the timing was pretty good because my replacement at the checkpoint arrived just as I left. For some reason I can no longer remember it wasn't stitched, just bandaged. A real doctor had a look at it when we came back to camp a couple of days later and said it really should have been stitched =/.
Couldn't move my thumb upwards for several weeks as I'd probably chopped off a good portion of the muscle/tendon on that side of the thumb. Got a lovely scar and I can still feel it when I flex my thumb (This happened ~8 years ago).

[Zantos]

broken the poor thing in two.

What does this mean? Hopefully not what I think it does.

- - - Updated - - -

When I was just a little kid(2-3), my mom decided to cut my hair, she accidentally cut my ear and i have never let her touch my hair again.

Lol! My mom did the same thing!

[Varvara Spiros Gelashvili]

Walking across a slippery floor and accidently doing the splits that shit hurts. Oh yeah I stuck my hand in a vcr and turned it on when I was younger. Holy shit that was dumb...

[Sett]

Back during freshman year, I was playing chicken with a pair of scissors and my fingers. These were the heavy-duty kind that cut through cardboard with ease. Yeah, well. I'd started talking to one of my classmates about the test ( my sensei was out of the class room grading individuals ) and stopped playing attention to the scissors. Oops.


It went in deep into my pinky finger. The tip barely holding itself together. Queue a stupid amount of blood gushing it. It got on my shirt. It went all over my shoes. I rushed out and was fumbling to ask my sensei 'May I please go see the nurse?'. She just yelled at me in English to just go.



Two hallways and a flight of stairs had a trail of blood on them. The nurse had to use some butterfly bandages to keep the skin on. I will never forget the look of utter disappoint she gave me when a random teacher poked her head into the office to comment on the bloody trail. I also felt really bad when she dialed the janitors to clean the blood up.


My classmates thought that shit was hilarious though. Mostly because for the remainder of my high school career, I was only allowed to use stupid kiddy scissors.

[Mayhem]

Excuse me, but do you live under the influence of mind altering drugs 24/7? Why on earth would you not get rid of killer bee nest as soon as you spotted it?

Hi fire ants eating my feet, don´t mind me, i have other business to do. These bees kill chained dogs and humans, hmm i think drilling a hole in their hive is the propper way to handle them.

[Independent voter]

Excuse me, but do you live under the influence of mind altering drugs 24/7? Why on earth would you not get rid of killer bee nest as soon as you spotted it?

I thought it was kind of cool.

[Booshman]

I once slipped on a banana peel and sprained my wrist.

Replace banana with plantain and wrist with ankle. That's me.

[Adonias]

When I was 8 years old and my sister was 5, I tried carrying her like my dad did, across his back/neck. I somehow got my sis up there and took one step off the lawn unto the street, went down and hit the asphalt with her added weight, ending up giving myself a concussion and literally seeing red cause of the wound from my head. But at least now I can say I headbutted a street.. and lost.

[Acelius]

As a kid I wanted to be an electrician like my dad. I got hold of two screwdrivers to play with and I noticed some holes in the wall.

Pro-tip: Don't stick two screwdrivers into the outlet in the wall.

Spent the next 24 hours in the hospital where they monitored my heart.

[anveena]

shot myself in the eye with an airsoft gun when i was like 7

[Repefe]

I tried to do salto on a tree while holding 2 branches for support ... broke both bones in my right forearm.

[Mayhem]

I was partying with friends in summer and well we probably drank one or two shots and stuff, anyway on the way home there´s a park and the streets go around it. We were three guys and thought, around takes way too long (time difference estimated 30 seconds, it´s a very small park), so climbing the fence (estimated time while under influence 1 - 2 minutes per fence) is the best idea we could ever have. Of course i was wearing flip flops (probably the best shoes ever invented, especially if you want to climb something). I went first, after reaching the top, i thought resting a bit and enjoying the view after what felt like 20 minutes isn´t the worst idea. But my friend, who was already on his way to the top needed space, so he pushed me. I fell, seconds, minutes, hours and landed on my heel, i felt a twinge but stumbled on. The following days were very unsettling as walking did hurt a lot. After a week i went to see a doctor and he said it´s probably just sprained.

So naturally i went to a festival. Which was the worst idea possible. After 3 days of drunk jumping and walking miles upon miles, the heel hurt up to a point i couldn´t ignore it anymore. So after another day i went to the hospital where they told me that my heel was broken. (that diagnosis came two weeks after i jumped/fell from the fence)

Come to think of it, my worst enemy are flip flops.

[Cosmic Janitor]

Being too eager when I was horny I guess? :/

Stupid body not reacting fast enough to that.Tried to use toys and it wouldn't go in so I thought I'd just try to push harder, and in it went, and it hurt, a lot. Started bleeding a little as well.

Why doesn't this surprise me, at all, anymore? I don't even feel like making an inuendo. :/

But holy shit, chazus, thats a new one. I've felt like shit for days because of sleeping in a bad posture a couple of times, but that takes the first prize...

Myself? My injuries are usually not funny. Fell down the very steep stone stairs at my parents house back when I was younger, broke my leg and bled from my head alot, nothing really funny about it, just slipped. Most of my buddies had the funny injuiries, because I was always the one that said: "Yeah, after you, I don't want to break my neck." and usually the first that tried something dumb ended up with broken bones as expected.

[Independent voter]

I'm seriously not trying to insult you here, I really am not, but are you alright in the head?

See now you're judging me.

And how would I know if I'm right in the head?

[Independent voter]

Just wondering.

I find it hard to believe anyone would be so careless as to live next to hive of killer bees because it's "cool". That's like having a live anti-personnel mine under your porch and letting it sit there because it's "cool".

Not as bad, you run far enough away from the hive and they'll leave you alone. Thing about these bees is they follow you a lot further than European bees, but they'll give up eventually.

And around here you might move a wheelbarrow in the yard and find a rattlesnake underneath. They rattle and you jump away and everything is cool. Should I kill it? And there are scorpions who won't hurt you unless you touch them.

Under the trailer in the crawlspace are black widow spiders. They look ferocious and their bite is poisonous but they are very timid.

So that's where I'm coming from.

[Toccs]

last night actually lol..

I decided to give Gymnastics a go, never done it before in my life. I started on the trampoline got to about 15 - 20ft into the air then lost control, an almighty crack sound followed as I landed on my ass outside the trampoline area everyone was looking at me, so badly winded I gave the thumbs up to the instructor to say I’m OK (Even though I wasn’t, then wandered off to the toilets to recover from being winded)

Today my back hurts like hell but luckily I think it’s the muscles not the spine,

[Meestercat]

When I was about 7 or 8 I was in goal playing 3-and-in, dived to saved a shot and landed my groin straight on the buried base of a swingball set. It's still scarred to this day.

I punched myself in the face putting a bag strap over my shoulder and gave myself a nosebleed.

I hurt my back so badly I was bed-ridden for a week. The cause: opening a fridge door.


Yeah, I'm fairly special.

[Toccs]

Get that shit x-rayed asap. Something pretty similar happened to my friend and she had broken vertebral column even though she could walk away from it without help.

I've got a doctors appointment tomorrow for somethinng else so i'll get it checked then. Thats a good call though mate thank you.