What is the funniest way you've injured yourself IRL?

[BloodyAngel12]

At 2 years old my mom told me to stop jumping around with a snoopy ruler in my mouth. i ignored her and ended up swallowing it. Best thing was she bought me Planet Hoth Han Solo and Chewie to cheer me up.

Rode down a steep grass hill on a dare, took a spill skidded 20 feet down it. Broke my bike and elbow and a mile walk home.

playing 5 aside football, it hit me in the nards twice in one match and once in the face.

[Kerath]

I managed to stab myself in the hand while trying to separate two frozen burgers that had stuck together. I facepalm at my own stupidity just thinking about it.
Fortunately it wasn't too deep but I did bleed like a stuck pig for a bit. It did scar but that's faded to quite a fine line on my palm over the years.

Oh, when I was 9 or 10 thought it would be fun to jump from table to table in the function room of my parents pub (not in use at the time). It was great fun until I landed on the edge of a table, tipping it and smacked my mouth hard enough to loosen my teeth in their sockets. I had to eat mush for about a week until my gums healed and my teeth weren't wobbly.

[Lotus Victoria]

I tried to jump when I was running down a little mountain. I dunno how I'm still alive.

[Puupi]

Kind of related to the topic, but not me per se.

I once met a friend of mine and his new girlfriend at a bar. I had never met the girl before so she introduced herself:
"Hi, my name is ****! I once dropped hard on the frame of my bicycle, so my pussy had to be sewed up!"

Me:

[Acelius]

Kind of related to the topic, but not me per se.

I once met a friend of mine and his new girlfriend at a bar. I had never met the girl before so she introduced herself:
"Hi, my name is ****! I once dropped hard on the frame of my bicycle, so my pussy had to be sewed up!"

Me:

Well that escalated quickly.

[xnavanx]

Burned my hand grabbing pizza of an oven with no oven mitt

Burned my stomach while cutting a pizza the pizza pan was over the lip of the counter and I wasn't wearing a shirt

Brushing up on my DDR skills to impress my girlfriend failed miserably on a song kicked a footrest broke my toe

[NYC17]

When I was in high school I decided it'd be a good idea to jump off a trampoline onto the ground. It wasn't.

[Shinzou]

I was camping. All day my friends and I were taking turns bringing in firewood in the form of dead trees.

Towards the end of the night we were fairly intoxicated. One of the friends went to get another tree, because it was his turn. The tree got stuck on some bushes and he was complaining that he couldn't do it. We kept yelling at him to pick it up and carry it. He was complaining that it was too heavy.

So I went over to help. Grabbed the tree and lifted it up onto my shoulder. Took one step and my knee went "Nope!" and gave out. It hurt.. a lot, but probably would have hurt a lot more if I wasn't drunk. Proceeded to play drunk Frisbee later that night with a knee that kept falling out of joint.

[Shmazard]

Tried to blow out a flaming marshmallow, ended up on my nose, still have a burn scar.

[Sevyvia]

No ways, because injury isn't funny. This isn't the dark ages, get over your caveman self.

[Altrec]

High school gym class I slid into third base on a brick dust diamond while wearing shorts(I still ended up out). It shaved off pretty much all of the skin on my leg to the point you could see muscle and tendon moving when I moved my foot and leg around. I trailed blood all the way into the building and in the hall as I limped my way to the nurses office. The nurse was not prepared for my horror show, and I was equally unprepared when she dumped hydrogen peroxide on my leg in order to clean it. It was also rather amusing the next few days hearing people talk about a mysterious blood trail in the school.

[belfpala]

Burned my hand grabbing pizza of an oven with no oven mitt

Burned my stomach while cutting a pizza the pizza pan was over the lip of the counter and I wasn't wearing a shirt

I would suggest not making pizza anymore? And not cooking without a shirt?

On topic... I was just a witness to this. I was running middle station, so I'm quarterbacking. "Hey, I need that fried chicken up now." I looked over and watched my new fry cook put his hand in the deep fryer to grab the chicken. It was one of those ummmmm.... FUCK, moments. Alright alright, cook 1, go get the burn cream, cook 2 you can drive, right? Valid license? Shit, no car? Ok, here are my keys, take my car, get him to the hospital.

On a lighter note... You know that one method for cleaning a chili pepper is to cut it half, then use a spoon to clean the inside? Yeah, I was doing that with a habanero and it squirted me in the eye. At least it wasn't a ghost pepper or trinidad scorpion or carolina reaper.

[icausewipes]

Running from my brother and hit BOTH shins on a chair. Worst pain I ever felt.

[Alcomo]

I was running to the phone once and slammed my foot into a wall corner breaking 4 toes...it was a fucking telemarketer...

I had nearly the same incident, but it was over an ex girlfriends bare chest! I was sitting on my bed checking my phone. She popped out of the shower with nothing but a towel wrapped around her waste. I dashed towards her and hit my toes off the door frame at full speed.

[Ihnasir]

My friends and I had just watched [rec], and my buddy was terrified of the dude at the end. We went outside after the movie was over to my gazebo, our normal drinking and smoking spot. So I ran across my backyard as fast as I could after him in the dark, slipped on the dewy grass, hit one of the path-stones, and utterly destroyed my ankle. It bled forever and I still have a nasty scar. Didn't hurt that bad, but it was one of the dumbest things I've done.

[Mellrod]

I was in a house of mirrors at the circus once as a little kid and kept running into every false passage/doorway.

[Duridi]

Walked into a INVISIBLE glass wall in a cafeteria.

Luckily, the only injury was pain and shame.

[Deleted]

A few years back when i was playing wow i was sitting on a folding chair and just as i was standing up and stretching for some reason when i sat down again i shoved my finger into the like space of the folding chair and i got my finger stuck as i sat down, almost cutting it off.

[Attackrabbit]

Demonstrating how to jump from tree to tree, branch I grabbed snapped almost fully through and pivoted swinging me downwards just high enough to miss the floor and then fully broke off in time to send me into the 10 foot deep ditch behind the original tree...got away with a few cuts and bruises and much laughter from the onlookers