Is it selfish to not have kids?

[Deleted]

We humans are all selfish by nature. If you are doing something for someone else it's because it profits you in some way even if it merely makess you feel good about it. So there is nothing wrong with beeng selfish, you just need to embrace it.

Yes, it is. The fact that you don't see that just proves how selfish you are to begin with, let alone your comments about nobody wanting to adopt. SMH

I hope you're never a parent. You sound like a real piece of work.

Holy crap, the "you are so bad you can't even see it"- argument? Really?

[Moxal]

Nope, not selfish. If you don't want them, don't have them. Additionally, some people really shouldn't be parents.

[Emageht Tsoluoy]

I always considered raising children as a "gambler's safety net".

If you raise them right, they will care for you once you reach the age of diapers and drool.
(either personally, or paying for a retirement home if you are unable)

If you raise them wrong, they drain you dry of all pleasant emotions, all monies, and leave you in a ditch to rot when you get old.

[alzoron]

You don't have to have kids to be productive to society. You could adopt. You could help out someone else that's struggling with their children. You could be a foster parent. You could coach Little League Baseball. You volunteer at the local community center. Hell, anything other than turning into a drug addicted murdering criminal is probably productive to society in some way.

[Xkiller9000]

No it's not, by why wouldn't you want them?

[Bakis]

I understand that, but saying it's "the best decision we've ever made" is a bit drastic, imo.

Coming from someone who is not 22 (yes it happened here on the forum..) it might seem drastic but really is not genrally speaking.
I have no statistics to back it up but I think it is reasonable to asume that such a descision is not taken quickly or lightly but grows over time. Often with trying other measures meanwhile untill they come to the conclusion that 'I'm sure I will never want children'.

[Theinquisition]

It's your life dude, do what you want. I'm sure people a lot worse than you are having kids.

[jellmoo]

Selfish
adjective

Devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.

I'm not quite sure I see the connection here. The "others" in this scenario do not exist. I don't think that an act can be intrinsically selfish in conjunction with a fictional person.

[Deleted]

Considering that for him to get pissed about it he'd have to not be aware of her having sex with other men, there's kinda a major breach of trust involved. Apples to oranges.

Sure, but I don't see why one should be expected to raise anothers kid, like they claim, otherwise you're selfish. They're saying people should adopt instead of getting their own kids, otherwise they're selfish. That's not so far from finding out your wife cheated and the kid is not yours. Yet close to nobody says the man would be selfish in such a situation.

Why is it selfish to not want to take care of someone elses kid in one situation but not in another?

[Ossandran]

It sounds to me like the magazine may have been talking about some hypothesis that people who decide not to have children may be more selfish than people who decide to have children. I suppose you would have to find the magazine and see if they cited a clinical study on the matter then decide if the study used the scientific method correctly and then go from there.

There are many reasons to want to and not want to have kids. I think selfishness is a factor in both camps of reasons.

[Theinquisition]

There's usually an economic argument that I hear that goes as follows:

"You're a leech from a system when you benefit from it and then refuse to produce children that can continue to contribute when you die. So by not having children, you're a strain on the long-run economy".





The problem with this argument is that it assumes that the only way you can contribute to an economy or "give back" in the long-run is by having children, which is plain untrue.

I don't plan on having children. I think they are nothing but liabilities at the end of the day. I don't spend all my money like a nut; I save and invest it.

I wouldn't be able to do that if I had to take care of a little bastard. Through my savings, the economy gets the capital it needs to increase living standards in the long-run.

At the end of the day, a shrinking birthrate will have dire consequences for the economy, as we can see going on in Japan right now. Of course....you already knew this lol.

[Kraenen]

There's usually an economic argument that I hear that goes as follows:

"You're a leech from a system when you benefit from it and then refuse to produce children that can continue to contribute when you die. So by not having children, you're a strain on the long-run economy".

The problem with this argument is that it assumes that the only way you can contribute to an economy or "give back" in the long-run is by having children, which is plain untrue.

I don't plan on having children. I think they are nothing but liabilities at the end of the day. I don't spend all my money like a nut; I save and invest it.

I wouldn't be able to do that if I had to take care of a little bastard. Through my savings, the economy gets the capital it needs to increase living standards in the long-run.

I'm on the same page as you. But you probably will eventually, most guys say they don't want to get married and have kids and all that, but some woman suckers him into it.

[THE Bigzoman]

At the end of the day, a shrinking birthrate will have dire consequences for the economy, as we can see going on in Japan right now. Of course....you already knew this lol.

There's also a huge problem in the U.S: Not many people save their money. How much longer do you think the U.S can rely on capital flight as international competition increases?

[Champagne Supernova]

I don't want marriage, let alone kids. Let people live their lives how they want i say. Screw what other people think.

[Archon14]

I don't spend all my money like a nut; I save and invest it.

I wouldn't be able to do that if I had to take care of a little bastard.

One example of not having a kid due to selfish reasons.

[Deathsknight]

I made an informed decision to not ever have kids of my own. I love my nieces and nephew and will watch them for their parents if asked however I know very well I am not fit to be a parent myself. I can take care of them for a a few hours or so but I know I could never raise a child.
Does that seem like a selfish decision?

[Addict]

Who cares if its selfish or not, how is it others problem that you dont have a snotty screaming kid around in a public area disturbing everyones peace.

Nope. There are so many people who shouldn't have children. 9_9

Sterilization was seriously the best decision my husband and I made.

Whats wrong with a condom QQ

[Archon14]

I made an informed decision to not ever have kids of my own. I love my nieces and nephew and will watch them for their parents if asked however I know very well I am not fit to be a parent myself. I can take care of them for a a few hours or so but I know I could never raise a child.
Does that seem like a selfish decision?

I think that's a responsible decision.

[Tstr88]

Sure, but I don't see why one should be expected to raise anothers kid, like they claim, otherwise you're selfish. They're saying people should adopt instead of getting their own kids, otherwise they're selfish. That's not so far from finding out your wife cheated and the kid is not yours. Yet close to nobody says the man would be selfish in such a situation.

Why is it selfish to not want to take care of someone elses kid in one situation but not in another?

It's only selfish in the second scenario if the man want kids in the first place. If he wants kids and ends up in that scenario and refuses to raise the child, then yes, he's selfish. Same as a person who wants children but refuses to adopt. If he doesn't even want kids, or kids with that woman and ends up with another man's baby then, no, he isn't selfish for not wanting to raise it. Most people have kids for selfish reasons anyway, so it doesn't really matter.

Also, you seem to be confusing selfish with "wrong". If you want to be selfish and only have your own children then go for it. There isn't anything wrong with being selfish.

[Champagne Supernova]

Who cares if its selfish or not, how is it others problem that you dont have a snotty screaming kid around in a public area disturbing everyones peace.



Whats wrong with a condom QQ

Gotta save money in the long run.