Is this odd? (On birthday wishes...)

[DeltrusDisc]

Alright, weird question here, but I am looking for public opinions on this. On shaky terms with a long-term friend/acquaintance lately and he thinks my birthday wish, all the way back on November 4th was "odd." I don't believe it's all that odd and if anything, I don't believe it should be bothering him still 25 days later. I suppose I'm biased though, so I'll let you all be the judge!

"Yo. Happy birthday dude, hope you can enjoy it with your girlfriend!"

I'm meaning it in the sense of hoping he can spend his birthday with someone he loves, I suppose I could have said 'loved ones' but I know he has a crappy relationship with his parents. Trying to support his relationship with his girlfriend here. Does naming her sound all that weird/odd?

Appreciate your thoughts folks!

Update: He construed it as being... hostile? Kind of at a loss for words. Does that come across as hostile to any of you? I mean, I know text is no replacement for human voice, but I really don't feel like I said it in a negative manner...

[Fencers]

A little specific, but seems harmless enough. Your friend might just be overly prickly (for whatever reason), OP.

[Spiffums]

I took it as "hope ya get laid on your birthday".

[Osoroshii]

Maybe he construed your words as being bitter towards him for not having a girl yourself (I don't know if you do or don't, just guessing). Some people are just like that and take any attempted compliment or well-wish as being mean or spiteful... I think the fact that's their default interpretation of your words to be indicative of a personality problem with them and not a reflection of your words/phrasing.

Basically your friend/acquaintance seems like a moron.

[May90]

I don't see anything wrong with it. If he was offended by it, it's his problem, I'd say.

[Deleted]

It could be construed as a sarcastic, maybe mildly passive aggressive statement.

Some people are masters of passive aggression, don't you agree?

[Phookah]

I could see it being taken as "hope you can enjoy it with your girlfriend! (And not me or your other friends)!"

[DeltrusDisc]

Welp, I guess I've learned.

Thanks folks!

[Osoroshii]

I think he may of been thinking he meant it, like, his gf won't let him hang out with friends on his bday and is being the typical "needy/demanding" gf.

Could be, but I think that's still an issue with the friend's perception/mindset and not something caused by the wording.

Either way this is why I never message anyone anything more complex than a simple "Happy birthday" or whatever; two words, no room for error and no room for people to try and read between the lines for hidden meanings that aren't actually there.

[StationaryHawk]

Pretty silly reason to be on shaky terms with anyone tbh. Regardless of how he construed it, a simple explanation should have cleared things up. Obviously if you had meant it to be hostile, you wouldn't be trying to hide the fact 25 days later.

[DeltrusDisc]

Pretty silly reason to be on shaky terms with anyone tbh. Regardless of how he construed it, a simple explanation should have cleared things up. Obviously if you had meant it to be hostile, you wouldn't be trying to hide the fact 25 days later.

This isn't the reason we are on shaky terms, that's something else entirely. But yeah, I even tried telling him ON his birthday that I was just hoping he could spend it with her, apparently he didn't believe me.

- - - Updated - - -

Indeed. My little sister can be very sensitive and read inbetweeen the lines. Normally, I just make messages short and simple, that way she doesn't question it.

It's annoying to 'walk on glass' with her, but she's my lil sister and I just watch how I say things.

Ugh... that sounds painful. How old is she?

[slime]

It did have the sound of... her over me kinda thing.

[slime]

I took it as "hope ya get laid on your birthday".

That's what I took it as well, but then his friend taking it as offensive I re-read it and it could have come off as - "have fun with her, and not me..." kinda thing.

[Revi]

It's open to interpretation as passive aggressive if that's the kind of attitude he associates you with. If a friend told me that, I would always assume he/she meant it in the best way it could be interpreted. If I were to take it any other way, it'd be because of an underlying issue between us or their past behavior making me doubt their sincerity.

[Khaza-R]

Sounds passive aggressive. But then again, I'm used to dealing with a passive-aggressive ex so my perception is probably skewed.

Anyway. Its really impossible to understand how someone could interpret the message without knowing the history of your friendship/relationship. Simple answer is, people get upset and brush it under the rug only to later take it out in seemingly unrelated events.

[Azadina]

It did have the sound of... her over me kinda thing.

Yeah, it does, if someone wants to take it that way. Seems harmless tho, if someone doesn't want to spin it negatively. Still, mentioning the girlfriend wasn't even necessary. Simple "hope you have a lovely day" or something like that, would have made the difference, instead of the girlfriend mention.

[Kjanaprik]

If it was verbal, which i assume then it largely depends on where you put the emphasis, if it was monotonous then i can't see anything wrong or offensive about it.

Yo. Happy birthday dude, hope you can enjoy it with your GIRLFRIEND!
Yo. Happy birthday dude, hope you can enjoy it with YOUR girlfriend!
Yo. Happy birthday dude, hope you can ENJOY it with your girlfriend!

all 3 of the above could've been taken the wrong way i guess?

[DeltrusDisc]

Yeah, it does, if someone wants to take it that way. Seems harmless tho, if someone doesn't want to spin it negatively. Still, mentioning the girlfriend wasn't even necessary. Simple "hope you have a lovely day" or something like that, would have made the difference, instead of the girlfriend mention.

I wanted to show support of the relationship and I realize I could have probably done it in a safer way somehow else. He's had a lot of difficulty with relationships with girls so I am happy he's with one who finally is making him really happy.

[Kurioxan]

Its harmless.

It does however, reveal he is having issues with her, or suspicion of.
The hostility shows a bit of paranoia or confirmation bias, the kind of "what... do you mean by that? omg, you know something dont you? i knew it!" type of deal?

The statement is completely harmless, so something else is going on.

[Independent voter]

"Happy birthday dude!" would've been better. If you friend has a problem with what you said, it's either he is overly sensitive or you are in the habit of dropping "hints" and it's starting to piss him off. I don't have enough information to say either way.