Is stress a valid reason for losing your temper at work?

[Tommy T]

I've come across this a lot in my working life, experiencing it myself and witnessing it. It's a fairly generic question and many different circumstances need to be considered (nature of the job, employee relationships, reason for stress, reason for lashing out etc) but in general, is there ever an excuse for it?

When I say 'losing your temper' I mean being offensive or overly aggressive to a colleague. I'll give you an example.

A customer calls you up and chases you for an update on the server status. Network connectivity is down and engineers are on the job. You politely explain that you're working on it and it should hopefully be back up and running soon. You then get a barrage of abuse down the phone like 'you're worthless, what do you people do all day? Let me speak to your director'. They then e-mail you later and apologise. They say they've been under a lot of stress from deadlines.

Yes, credit to them for apologising, but should it have happened in the first place?

[Dug]

It's a valid reason to lose your temper but it won't excuse you from facing consequences so you just have to accept it or get better at managing your anger/stress.

[Flatspriest]

There is NEVER an excuse to do that to anyone. Stress, while able to cause a person to feel like doing that, just means you need to take a step back and think before you speak.

[Independent voter]

We yell at each other at work all the time.

[Tommy T]

There is NEVER an excuse to do that to anyone. Stress, while able to cause a person to feel like doing that, just means you need to take a step back and think before you speak.

Agreed. I can empathise slightly. Some workplace practices are fucking terrible. No wonder why they're near a nervous breakdown.
I can never see myself in that situation, but perhaps I've never faced that much stress.

[Hiricine]

There are many reasons that people do lose their temper, but the goal should be to regulate your emotions to the point that you don't, not to excuse the fact that you do.

[Tilde]

I mean... if you're working at a help desk, not sure you really qualify as a person. So this is really no different than yelling at an inanimate object.

[Queen of Hamsters]

Valid reason? Sure, but it doesn't excuse you from facing the consequences of your actions.
The grown up thing, at least in my mind, is to collect yourself and NOT lose your temper...unless doing so can solve a situation somehow, which I'm sure could happen.

[monkmastaeq]

I suppose it depends on the job. when i was a chef we would yell at each other pretty often for making mistakes, like id ask how long for the salmon and he'd say 6 mins so id have my pasta ready and he takes another 3 so my pasta is getting cold or congealed id say you're fucking worthless. That sort of talk wouldnt fly at my new job

[Deleted]

Depends on what level you wish to discuss this. In this topic it doesn't even matter tbh.

[Deleted]

There are no valid reasons to lose your temper, but there are understandable ones. And severe stress is certainly one of them. But as others have said, that doesnt relieve you of the consequences..

[Dys]

There was this one dude at my old job that would get completely pissed off and literally throw his work half way across the room whenever he screwed up to the point of having to redo it. I found it to be hilarious every time it happened.

He got talked to a bunch of times about it with no other recourse taken. I got my first and only written final warning for laughing at the situation when he created it.

I started stealing after that.

Anyway, losing your temper is okay. Letting yourself go mad with rage isn't. Professionalism is key at work and checking yourself is often required. You never take it out on a customer.

[Magruun]

Losing your temper always comes over bad.
you can be strict and show you are not pleased with something, you certainly dont have to accept people pushing you around.
But yelling or other agressive behaviour is not acceptable.

[Berengil]

Never.

" Control your emotions, so that they do not control you." ----- Sarek of Vulcan

[Stacyrect]

Depends on the situation. Fellow employee razzing you just cauz he's a shitlord and you've already complained to management? Rage on brother. Someone do some stupid shit at work and it cause's you an injury? Rage the fuck on. Someone putting unwanted hands on your naughty bits? Rage the fuck on. Someone continuously sexually harassing you? Rage the fuck on. Other then those 4 examples, no your temper is not necessary or warranted and will just get you in trouble

[Pawestruck]

You can't apologize for having emotions, so I don't think there are ever "valid" or "invalid" reasons for feeling a certain thing. How you express it is, of course, different.

As a manager at a drugstore, I used to kick customers out if they were openly cursing at an employee (and the higher-ups stood by me). I was definitely expressing anger, but still in a professional way... unless they got particularly snippy. (I once laughed and asked two ladies if they were really going to make me call the cops to have them removed from the store.)

[Theinquisition]

I've come across this a lot in my working life, experiencing it myself and witnessing it. It's a fairly generic question and many different circumstances need to be considered (nature of the job, employee relationships, reason for stress, reason for lashing out etc) but in general, is there ever an excuse for it?

When I say 'losing your temper' I mean being offensive or overly aggressive to a colleague. I'll give you an example.

A customer calls you up and chases you for an update on the server status. Network connectivity is down and engineers are on the job. You politely explain that you're working on it and it should hopefully be back up and running soon. You then get a barrage of abuse down the phone like 'you're worthless, what do you people do all day? Let me speak to your director'. They then e-mail you later and apologise. They say they've been under a lot of stress from deadlines.

Yes, credit to them for apologising, but should it have happened in the first place?

No it shouldn't happen in the first place.

Typically if someone, wether it be a co-worker or not loses their temper, they have some other unlying issues that aren't being addressed.

I work in the insurance industry and deal with upset people almost daily. The key to not losing your temper with someone is to remember that if someone is yelling at you or being abrasive....

1. They are not upset with you, they are upset about the situation. You, as an employee, are a representation of the company and therefore the subject of their tirade. Take a deep breath and remember that.

2. You don't HAVE to take abuse. In my line of work, if I am dealing with a belligerent customer I polite them one time that if they continue to berate me I will disconnect the call. If they continue I disconnect.

It's always good to be compassionate about someone else's situation if they lose their head, but it doesn't mean you have to accept abuse.

[Stacyrect]

No it shouldn't happen in the first place.

Typically if someone, wether it be a co-worker or not loses their temper, they have some other unlying issues that aren't being addressed.

I work in the insurance industry and deal with upset people almost daily. The key to not losing your temper with someone is to remember that if someone is yelling at you or being abrasive....

1. They are not upset with you, they are upset about the situation. You, as an employee, are a representation of the company and therefore the subject of their tirade. Take a deep breath and remember that.

2. You don't HAVE to take abuse. In my line of work, if I am dealing with a belligerent customer I polite them one time that if they continue to berate me I will disconnect the call. If they continue I disconnect.

It's always good to be compassionate about someone else's situation if they lose their head, but it doesn't mean you have to accept abuse.

jesues tony wtf man sell better insurance

[Powerogue]

Of course it is. The only point of debate would be is it a justified reason? (As in how hard should we be on people who do?)

[Wildtree]

Short answer: Yes
Long answer: Hell Yes

For certain industries it's part of the job description.. or so it seems

Printing, Construction, both industries come to mind right away.

That loving feeling when you stand there along with your coworkers and the CEO of the company declares the entire staff being a bunch of worthless assholes that are too stupid to take a dump without shitting in their pants.

Sounds upsetting, I know. But in certain circumstances you just shrug it off.
When the money is right, you let them ramble on for a moment.
But when every minute the printing machine stands still costs the company 10k in revenue, you kinda understand the rage. Especially when there's a downtime of over an hour already.