Told my best friend I was in love with her..what now?

[Wayward88]

So here's the situation: I've known this girl for years. We became really close after a tough period for both of us, but have always kept things platonic. I was happy with the friendship and did not want anything more, and as far as I knew, she felt the same. In recent months however, I started to feel that something more. Fast forward a little, I finally admitted to myself that I had fallen in love with her, and struggled with the question of whether I should tell her or not.

I was almost 100% certain she only saw me as her best friend, and part of my intention of telling her was to find out for sure, so that I would stop wondering and move on. I also thought that she would not appreciate me feeling all this and not saying anything. Most of all, I wanted to protect the friendship, and despite worrying at first that telling her would break it outright, figured that our years of friendship would not be so easily broken.

So I went ahead and did it a couple of days ago. Told her how I felt, and that if she didn't feel similarly that it was fine; I would just need alittle time to heal and that I still wanted to be her best friend. Unfortunately, it seems to have gone worse than I would have thought. She hasn't really talked to me since then, and said that she wasn't sure if she could still see me the same way. I am wrecked, to say the least. I thought I was doing the right thing, but now I might lose someone really precious to me.

Just seeking some advice and maybe a kind word or two, especially from other girls who have had this happen to them. I'm not pushing her to respond in any way, but since she won't say anything about this I have no idea what she's thinking or feeling about this.

[Shadee]

You should have known she wasn't into you when she friendzoned you in the first place. Go find some guy friends. Who the hell wants to hang out with a girl and have to listen to her bitching unless you are banging her.

[rogueMatthias]

Pretty much your own fault. I know it's sad but it sounds pretty clear even you knew she wasn't really interested in that way.

Oneitis is a terrible condition to have. Move on. Go get laid.

I'm not pushing her to respond in any way, but since she won't say anything about this I have no idea what she's thinking or feeling about this.

Infracted - please refrain from posting explicit imagery

[Ealyssa]

Find a new friend, period.

You burnt it, it's over. While geting out of the friendzone is possible, it's certainly NOT by doing stupid love declarations. And I'm not trying to be mean, I was in the same situation a loooooong time ago, did the same stupid thing and learned from it.

I'm a strong advocate of male/female deep friendship not being possible (yeah sure some very specific brother/sister kind of relationship is possible, but the true one with no hidden feelings are rare as fuck). If you like a girl a lot, find her cute, friendly, share things, want to spend time with her, you will fall for her in the end eventually, or the opposite she will fall for you in the same situation.

[Akachan]

You have to be prepared to lose the friendship if it doesn't work out the way you wished it to. Sorry to say this, but it's time to move on. It took a lot of guts to confess your feelings though, so hat's off to you.

My advice? Pick up a hobby and focus on yourself. Make yourself happy and work on your self confidence. Eventually another girl is going to come a long. The worst thing you can do is pine over the girl that shot you down and hoping she will change her mind.

[GutsAP]

Dunno what to tell you, but you definitely did the right thing by coming here for advice.

[Deleted]

Just seeking some advice and maybe a kind word or two, especially from other girls who have had this happen to them. I'm not pushing her to respond in any way, but since she won't say anything about this I have no idea what she's thinking or feeling about this.

Imagine you've just fucked ten other women, more charming, intelligent and beautiful.

Do you care about this girl now? That's how much you actually cared about her. She was there, and she was a girl, and that's it.

Move on. There is absolutely nothing to be gained from ever thinking about her ever again.

[Deleted]

you are a creep.

stop trying to get in every girl you meets' pants.

Infracted - Flaming

[Viconia]

What now? Go through the stages of grief as quickly as you can. The sooner you reach acceptance that your friendship is damaged and move on, the better for your well-being.

[Super Kami Dende]

Been there done that. a couple of times we ended up dating, other times it ended in failure. Though as someone who had a Female Friend be the one that admitted their love when I wasn't prepared for it. I can tell you that it is a struggle for both sides unless she is an uncaring bitch. Because when I turned down my friend we became distance because i felt bad that I was hurting her. So don't take her pulling away as a end of your friendship. give her some space. If she comes back it means your friendship meant something to her. If she stays away, just move on as its for the best, otherwise you will just wrack your head over pointless "what ifs"

[Gref]

I have been through that bro. I completely understand. even reading your sentences made me remember those feelings so vividly again. The thing is over time you move on you forget. You heal yourself. Time is the best medicine. In the future, you will remember this, you will remember this as a fond memory. And you will be proud of yourself. At least I went through this process. Sorry tho, I know it hurts and kinda like puking feeling 7/24 . hang in there, play some video games.

[Fonduset]

Give Harvey Weinstein a call, he will advise you what to do next

[Nerovar]

Been there done that. a couple of times we ended up dating, other times it ended in failure. Though as someone who had a Female Friend be the one that admitted their love when I wasn't prepared for it. I can tell you that it is a struggle for both sides unless she is an uncaring bitch. Because when I turned down my friend we became distance because i felt bad that I was hurting her. So don't take her pulling away as a end of your friendship. give her some space. If she comes back it means your friendship meant something to her. If she stays away, just move on as its for the best, otherwise you will just wrack your head over pointless "what ifs"

That's like the only helpful advice in this thread so far. Listen to this man.

[Varitok]

Been there done that. a couple of times we ended up dating, other times it ended in failure. Though as someone who had a Female Friend be the one that admitted their love when I wasn't prepared for it. I can tell you that it is a struggle for both sides unless she is an uncaring bitch. Because when I turned down my friend we became distance because i felt bad that I was hurting her. So don't take her pulling away as a end of your friendship. give her some space. If she comes back it means your friendship meant something to her. If she stays away, just move on as its for the best, otherwise you will just wrack your head over pointless "what ifs"

This is exactly the right thing. Happened to me and a friend. Things got awkward for a few weeks but after that we just moved on. If you truly want to be friends still, it will be okay. It's not usually long term damage.

- - - Updated - - -

Pretty much your own fault. I know it's sad but it sounds pretty clear even you knew she wasn't really interested in that way.

Oneitis is a terrible condition to have. Move on. Go get laid.

Don't listen to him. You're fine. Mixed signals happen.

[kabalas]

This is why guys and gals can't ever be close friends. Someone always ends up developing feelings. Which is understandable.... Its someone you get along with, easily can talk to, etc.

We have all done shit like this before. Best advice has already been said. Occupy your time. Dwelling on it won't do any good. Time really does heal. I know from experience. And that is the key thing. It sucks like all hell right now, but you will benefit from the experience and you will gain perspective going forward.

[Strawberry]

Wow you guys are assholes.

Give her time. She's probably just thinking how to handle the situation. For the better or worse. But not all is lost. But don't push her into giving you an answer. You will lose whatever chance you have left.

[Deathknightish]

She's quite a bitch for not talking to you after that.

I did the same thing with my friend I had known for 4 years. She denied me, but we stayed clsoe friends like nothing had happened.
I managed to screw it up and ruin out friendship in other ways 1 year ago, but that was completely unrelated to love so "meh".

A good friend will still be your friend even after something like that. Hope she just needs time and isn't going cold turkey on you.

[Total Crica]

she won't say anything about this I have no idea what she's thinking or feeling about this.

You are not entitled to know what she is thinking or feeling, so unless she opts to share any of it with you by her own choice, let her be, regardless of how you feel about her or what you wish you knew about her personal thoughts and feelings.

That's simply how personal relationships with anyone works, regardless of who they are or what gender they are.

[Allenseiei]

So here's the situation: I've known this girl for years. We became really close after a tough period for both of us, but have always kept things platonic. I was happy with the friendship and did not want anything more, and as far as I knew, she felt the same. In recent months however, I started to feel that something more. Fast forward a little, I finally admitted to myself that I had fallen in love with her, and struggled with the question of whether I should tell her or not.

I was almost 100% certain she only saw me as her best friend, and part of my intention of telling her was to find out for sure, so that I would stop wondering and move on. I also thought that she would not appreciate me feeling all this and not saying anything. Most of all, I wanted to protect the friendship, and despite worrying at first that telling her would break it outright, figured that our years of friendship would not be so easily broken.

So I went ahead and did it a couple of days ago. Told her how I felt, and that if she didn't feel similarly that it was fine; I would just need alittle time to heal and that I still wanted to be her best friend. Unfortunately, it seems to have gone worse than I would have thought. She hasn't really talked to me since then, and said that she wasn't sure if she could still see me the same way. I am wrecked, to say the least. I thought I was doing the right thing, but now I might lose someone really precious to me.

Just seeking some advice and maybe a kind word or two, especially from other girls who have had this happen to them. I'm not pushing her to respond in any way, but since she won't say anything about this I have no idea what she's thinking or feeling about this.

You've done your part all you can do is wait.

If your friendship is ruined because of this i suggest to not give it anymore thought, because it wasn't that great. Move on if things can't repair themselves, you are probably very young and will have many more chances and new people.

[Zaylin]

Been there done that. a couple of times we ended up dating, other times it ended in failure. Though as someone who had a Female Friend be the one that admitted their love when I wasn't prepared for it. I can tell you that it is a struggle for both sides unless she is an uncaring bitch. Because when I turned down my friend we became distance because i felt bad that I was hurting her. So don't take her pulling away as a end of your friendship. give her some space. If she comes back it means your friendship meant something to her. If she stays away, just move on as its for the best, otherwise you will just wrack your head over pointless "what ifs"

What this guy said, ignore everyone else.