So the real point gets down to the 100g you're so upset about. As someone mentioned before, a sum, which takes about 15 Minutes to farm with some dailies done.
Were they in the right do demand you to respecc? NO, cause your specc is your's alone.
And demanding you to pay for it yourself when you don't need it is a even bigger NO
BUT:
Would they have been in the right to replace you, to get the desired buff? I would say YES, as it's easy to replace some dps for another without loosing too much in the end.
Like the others said, your lost dps would be easily compensated by longer lasting healers/dps, which would even net more raiddps in the end.
So pat yourself on the back, that you're the Queen of your dpsmeter, but try to be nicer to your new 10 man raid, IF you manage to find any other in the future at all.