Emotionally Unstable Girlfriend?

[Wamphyri]

So I have been going out with this girl for awhile and everything was going great. A few days ago, though, she abruptly ends it with me saying that "she is fucked up and can't be in a committed relationship right now". She went on to say that I am the perfect guy for her and she hates that she can't be in a relationship with me. I asked her if she would ever want to be in a relationship with me again and she said she didn't know.

She was diagnosed awhile ago with Major depressive disorder and refuses to tell me what about her past caused the depression and how her "fucked up past" is interfering with her life today. She has very low self esteem and thinks that she is ugly and asked me why I was even dating her, like I could do better. She says that she still wants to hang out with me though. I thought this girl was "the one".

Have any of you guys been with a girl like this? How was it?
What would you guys do about a depressed, low self esteem girl that carries around loads of emotional baggage from her past? Should I fight for her and try to get back with her? Give her some time and hope that she contacts me again in the future? Or just forget about her and move on?

[eternalwhitemoon]

Coming from the other end of it...

There's nothing you can do. The changes that need to happen won't happen until SHE is ready, until SHE finds the inner strength to change.

[Zethras]

In my opinion, she seems to feel unworthy, try and make her feel worthy.

[Lilcheeks]

How long were you with her? How old are you? Were you guys sexually active?

[YersiniaPestis]

make it clear to her that if you broke up, u would not speak to her again and not see her or anything.

girls sometimes do this, you know. "he is soo nice, i want to be friends with him, a relationship may break and then I won't see him around and will lose a friend so I would rather not have a relationship to keep the friendship"

just make it clear that you are either together, or you are not friends at all.

[Reluctant]

Id yust be there for her right now and be complimenting. It will be good for her self esteem. Dont try to dig into her past wait till she is ready to tell u on her own.

[termoonater]

Seriously dude, move on. I've been there and done that and there's nothing YOU can do to fix/help her. If she doesn't pull herself out of it then she'll end up pulling you INTO it and you'll both be cutting yourself in the kitchen at night.

[Deleted]

I'd say fight for her, a depression is quite serious and to be honest, to deal with it alone is one of the toughest things there is. Yes, I talk from experience.

Just let her know that you're there to help her, and that it's okay to ask for help.

[Wamphyri]

We are both 20 years old and have been seeing each other for months.

[Deleted]

Seriously dude, move on. I've been there and done that and there's nothing YOU can do to fix/help her. If she doesn't pull herself out of it then she'll end up pulling you INTO it and you'll both be cutting yourself in the kitchen at night.

^^ This with 10 characters.

[helicoptermadeofdraculas]

If she asks you to back off then back off.

[Deleted]

So I have been going out with this girl for awhile and everything was going great. A few days ago, though, she abruptly ends it with me saying that "she is fucked up and can't be in a committed relationship right now". She went on to say that I am the perfect guy for her and she hates that she can't be in a relationship with me. I asked her if she would ever want to be in a relationship with me again and she said she didn't know.

She was diagnosed awhile ago with Major depressive disorder and refuses to tell me what about her past caused the depression and how her "fucked up past" is interfering with her life today. She has very low self esteem and thinks that she is ugly and asked me why I was even dating her, like I could do better. She says that she still wants to hang out with me though. I thought this girl was "the one".

Have any of you guys been with a girl like this? How was it?
What would you guys do about a depressed, low self esteem girl that carries around loads of emotional baggage from her past? Should I fight for her and try to get back with her? Give her some time and hope that she contacts me again in the future? Or just forget about her and move on?

Forget about her and move on. Seriously, like 60% of the women you'll meet are like this and only a very small percentage have a real issue. Like how most guys are total dicks to women, a lot of women are simply complicated because they're egotistical. Just forget about her and move on, seriously it's almost never ever worth it.

[Wamphyri]

If she asks you to back off then back off.

The thing is that she isn't really asking me to back off, she tells me that she still wants to talk, hang out and be friends.

[Raigen]

If she is that "depressed" she would just sit home all day, try to end her life instead of making out with you for some time, then say that she just cant be with you anymore because her life "was so fucked up"? Whut!

[Wamphyri]

If she is that "depressed" she would just sit home all day, try to end her life instead of making out with you for some time, then say that she cant be with you anymore because her life "was/is so fucked up"? Whut!

Confusing isn't it? We are both 20 and have been seeing each other for a few months.

[termoonater]

"she tells me that she still wants to talk, hang out and be friends"

And there you have it. You've been kicked into the friend zone.

[Lilcheeks]

Do whatever you want to do, but be warned. The ego thing is accurate. She has a serious negative self image and it will take a lot out of you to keep her inflated. Then there's the possibilities for the future, how will you deal with her finding interest in other guys if you guys are just friends? She's crazy remember, so that's a possibility.

I wouldn't put my eggs in one basket here. Don't get too emotionally invested if possible. Saying a woman could be "the one" a couple months in without really knowing the person is misguided. I'd keep your options open and let her figure her stuff out, which may never happen anyway.

[Kuldrad]

You are too young to saddle yourself with this kind of emotional baggage. It isn't going to go away either.

Move on.

[Ozy]

Is this your first serious girlfriend (assuming a few months is serious for you)?

OffTopic: My gf of 4 years who I have been shopping with for engagement rings just decided 2 days ago that she "didnt know if this was going to work."

I said "If you dont know after 4 years then I DO know....ITS NOT!"

/breakup

[Raigen]

Maybe she wants to test you and how strong your feelings really are and if you would fight for her, even if she says that she cant be with you anymore or just seeks for attention or is really fucked up in the head,i dunno. Can't tell because I don't know her or her past!