How do you let go of your best friend?

[xChurch]

She does know both about my AS, and that I tend to get depressed from time to time. This was just the first time it hit her that hard.

Like I also wrote she's the type of person who flees, rather than fights. We've discussed it several times, when she got mad at less things, and tried to talk about how she should talk to me instead of just giving me the cold shoulder, but it hasn't really helped.

Might be better for you, in the long run, to let it go. Relationships where it ends up feeling like you're doing all the changing tends to breed resentment. Especially since you actually do seem to be improving your mentality and life. The downside about becoming a better person is you tend to want to be around the old people who fed into who you once were. Since you can't garuntee if you did become close with her again that she wouldn't give you the cold shoulder, you also can't be sure you won't fall back into being clingy. In the end the best choice is usually to remove the option entirely.

[Deathknightish]

Might be better for you, in the long run, to let it go. Relationships where it ends up feeling like you're doing all the changing tends to breed resentment. Especially since you actually do seem to be improving your mentality and life. The downside about becoming a better person is you tend to want to be around the old people who fed into who you once were. Since you can't garuntee if you did become close with her again that she wouldn't give you the cold shoulder, you also can't be sure you won't fall back into being clingy. In the end the best choice is usually to remove the option entirely.

That's actually what got me worried. That if we start to be friends again that I'll fall into old habits.
I don't think I will, as I've been tested by other people since, but naturally there's no guarantee for that.

If I look at it from a neutral standpoint, I do feel that I probably am at a better mental state now.
Honestly, as fun as we had the friendship was 95% about her and her problems. She rarely took initiative on her own to make stuff happen. Not because of a lack of interest, as I know she's like that with our common friends as well.

I probably have a much healthier friendship with this new girl I befriended, and it's a lot more even in give and take. I've also befriended her boyfriend and she has befriended my girlfriend and we get along greatly. It's just that bitch named nostalgia giving me all those fuzzy feelings thinking back right now.

[Rexosaurus]

If it was just "any" friend sure, but since we wrote to each other literally every day and hung out all the time I considered her my absolute closest friend that I've ever had. Stings 10 times worse than if it happened with many of my other friends who I'm just not as close with.



I suppose. It just hurts thinking about how it turned out because we were really close. She helped me improve as a person, get rid of my anxiety around girls so that I could get my first girlfriend and all. Lot of history that we share.

The pain is how you know the lesson will stick :P

But I hear you. The 'what ifs' can really drive you crazy, and you don't want to let go of a connection that made you a better person.

I already gave you my best advice, but if you think you can salvage it, then go for it. Some times you just gotta do things your own way to figure out whether it was a good idea or a terrible one. Just do yourself a solid, if it doesn't work out how you intend it to, don't let it cripple you and don't let it ruin your other relationships.

[xChurch]

That's actually what got me worried. That if we start to be friends again that I'll fall into old habits.
I don't think I will, as I've been tested by other people since, but naturally there's no guarantee for that.

If I look at it from a neutral standpoint, I do feel that I probably am at a better mental state now.
Honestly, as fun as we had the friendship was 95% about her and her problems. She rarely took initiative on her own to make stuff happen. Not because of a lack of interest, as I know she's like that with our common friends as well.

I probably have a much healthier friendship with this new girl I befriended, and it's a lot more even in give and take. I've also befriended her boyfriend and she has befriended my girlfriend and we get along greatly. It's just that bitch named nostalgia giving me all those fuzzy feelings thinking back right now.

I've had relationships with girls like that before and by the end, I was glad when we stopped talking. Be thankful it hasn't gotten that far, since you can still at least remain amiable just in case. Luckily since you do have other relationships now to focus on, it shouldn't take too long to fill your memory with happy events with them rather than worrying about someone else. Moreso if you weren't actually getting much yourself out of it. Everyone deserves to have people around them who care as much about their problems as they do about their own. At least that's what all those cartoons growing up taught me.

[Deathknightish]

The pain is how you know the lesson will stick :P

But I hear you. The 'what ifs' can really drive you crazy, and you don't want to let go of a connection that made you a better person.

I already gave you my best advice, but if you think you can salvage it, then go for it. Some times you just gotta do things your own way to figure out whether it was a good idea or a terrible one. Just do yourself a solid, if it doesn't work out how you intend it to, don't let it cripple you and don't let it ruin your other relationships.

As it is right now it falls towards breaking contact, or at least not have it as close as before. Which hurts as hell, like I said.
However I am open for possibilities in the future. I'm not the kind of person who thinks that decisions have to be permanent. I mean, I got back with a really good friend from school. We somehow lost contact when we were 15 and got back to each other when we were 22.

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I've had relationships with girls like that before and by the end, I was glad when we stopped talking. Be thankful it hasn't gotten that far, since you can still at least remain amiable just in case. Luckily since you do have other relationships now to focus on, it shouldn't take too long to fill your memory with happy events with them rather than worrying about someone else. Moreso if you weren't actually getting much yourself out of it. Everyone deserves to have people around them who care as much about their problems as they do about their own. At least that's what all those cartoons growing up taught me.

Yep, I suppose. As it is right now I'm having a great time with my new friend. I won't let her come AS close though, I would be lying if I said that all of this hasn't caused any kind of trust issue, but I will still let her in to be a close friend. We hang out for beers and shit talk once a week and watch a movie or something, so it's not like I'm miserable and lonely.

Reason I compare her to just my former friend is because I tend to separate guy friends from female friends. Both are great, but they are also different by nature. Guy friends are for doing stupid shit together, maybe hurt each other by accident, while female friends are more emotional bonding. At least for me.

[Celista]

I feel like you glossed over the "missteps" that made her afraid of you.

I have a female friend and former male acquaintance (he's on the autism spectrum) that were once close friends, they grew up together in the same neighborhood. According to her, the two of them were in the car one day and he referred to her as his best friend. And the female friend (in a kindof bitch move in my opinion) was like, "I don't have a best friend" (I don't really understand her reasons for saying this). This made him VERY upset. He threatened to grab the wheel and kill the two of them, and she managed to calm him down enough to drive him home. But it freaked her the fuck out.

According to her, she made steps to repair the friendship but was always afraid of him after that, and the two of them no longer hang out.

The moral of my story is: trust is hard to repair when broken, and emotional disregulation/outbursts can be very scary to people not on the spectrum. Also I really suspect there's more to the story than the OP has shared here.

Also: relationships ebb and flow, make more friends and giving her some space will help.

[Moozart]

This thread is hard as fuck to write, but I know it's the only way to feel better.

I'm a 28 year old guys. For the last 5 years, I've had a friend which we'll call Lisa.

We quickly became friends, and shortly after that we were each other's closest friend who we could talk to about everything and we hung out like once every other weekend.

Because of my Aspergers, I did a few unintentional misteps which got her mad at me a few times and ignore me for a few weeks. Nothing major really, but things like if we had planned to see each other and she was gonna be 2 hours late I would say "Okay, then I'm just gonna do something else and we'll hang some other time ". I had no idea that she would take offense to that as I personally wouldn't. It was minor things like that, but we always got back together. I do have to say though, and this is relevant to the main subject of this thread, that I used to have a hard time dealing with people being mad at me. And then I mean a HARD time. I would go into a depression and make all these emo texts to her several days in a row.

Well, this is what fucked everything up...
Nearly 1½ years ago the same thing happened. She got pissed over some minor thing and ignored me and my normal emo self came forth.
Problem was that she also had a lot of stress at home and at work, so a few weeks turned into a few months before I even heard of her. She said that she hated how I spammed her because she felt like she was under my gaze, like I was making sure she didn't do anything I did not want. That wasn't the case at all from my side, I was just side, but fair game if that's what she felt. I apologised and tried to stop.
It worked for 1 month before I started again. Then she started to ignore me again.

What is also relevant is that I had insight enough to understand that I couldn't keep up with this. It was neither fair to her, nor me, and I went to a psychologist who quickly understood that I was in a depression. She wasn't the factor that started it, but she being pissed was surely a variable in keeping it going.

A few months later I texted her again. Explaining what I had gone through and that I had gotten help, mostly with dealing with my anxiety and emo phases.
We started talking again like nothing had happened. Things actually seemed alright, but then she texted me a huge message she had written on for months that basically said that she was terribly scared of me during that time, that she felt like she was backed into a corner and that she wasn't sure if we could hang out like we used to. At the very least not talk about deep problems like before.

I can understand her. I'm not making excuses, I was a shitty person during that time, and whenever she was pissed at me. I regret it so much.

That was about 7-8 months ago. We've spoken a few times, but compared to before it's nothing. We speak maybe once every two months. Back in august she also told me that she was gonna move out of town, which made me really sad and I haven't spoken to her at all. This part I'm actually proud of, because it has showed that the therapy I had has in fact helped. I have not written a single word to her.

I still feel like shit though, and this is where I need advice. In theory, I know that we could possibly become closer once more, because she doesn't live THAT far away (like a 1 hour ride with the bus). Maybe not as close as before, but closer than we are now. The thing is that I also am afraid that she'll be a changed person during this time, and that we won't be as compatible as we used to.

I don't know if it's good for me to get back with her. I have another new female friend I have a much healthier friendship with who I really enjoy spending time with, and we hang out more often (but because of past history I won't let her come AS close, even though we are getting close.).
Another problem is that we also have 2 friends in-common, who I have also taken some distance from because they remind me too much of her. However these two I would like to get back with either way.

As it is now, it feels best to just let go, because I know I will always regret what I did and missing out a year and a half of her life (like I said, we spoke about everything that was happening to us).

I still feel like shit thinking about it, because it was such a big part of my life. How do I let go without feeling shit? Or should I at least try to bring things back together?

Ill be honest with you, if you dont let her go the court systems are going to end up doing it for you. Typically with a woman, once they get to the point of being "scared" that rarely changes and is many of the times to far to come back from. I dont think there is anything YOU can do at this point. Maybe in 10 years if SHE looks you up.. not the other way around things could be better but its going to take her deciding to make that first step on her own, not because you messaged her first.

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I feel like you glossed over the "missteps" that made her afraid of you.

I have a female friend and former male acquaintance (he's on the autism spectrum) that were once close friends, they grew up together in the same neighborhood. According to her, the two of them were in the car one day and he referred to her as his best friend. And the female friend (in a kindof bitch move in my opinion) was like, "I don't have a best friend" (I don't really understand her reasons for saying this). This made him VERY upset. He threatened to grab the wheel and kill the two of them, and she managed to calm him down enough to drive him home. But it freaked her the fuck out.

According to her, she made steps to repair the friendship but was always afraid of him after that, and the two of them no longer hang out.

The moral of my story is: trust is hard to repair when broken, and emotional disregulation/outbursts can be very scary to people not on the spectrum. Also I really suspect there's more to the story than the OP has shared here.

Also: relationships ebb and flow, make more friends and giving her some space will help.

Id be willing to bet there were alot of suicide threats, and even maybe some "faked suicide" using different phones numbers to make her think he had done it. An ex coworker of mine is in jail now for pulling some emo shit like this on a girl he met on POF.

[Rexosaurus]

I have a female friend and former male acquaintance (he's on the autism spectrum) that were once close friends, they grew up together in the same neighborhood. According to her, the two of them were in the car one day and he referred to her as his best friend. And the female friend (in a kindof bitch move in my opinion) was like, "I don't have a best friend" (I don't really understand her reasons for saying this). This made him VERY upset. He threatened to grab the wheel and kill the two of them, and she managed to calm him down enough to drive him home. But it freaked her the fuck out.

That's some Vanilla Sky shit right there yo.

As it is right now it falls towards breaking contact, or at least not have it as close as before. Which hurts as hell, like I said.
However I am open for possibilities in the future. I'm not the kind of person who thinks that decisions have to be permanent. I mean, I got back with a really good friend from school. We somehow lost contact when we were 15 and got back to each other when we were 22.

Sounds like you're looking at things in a pretty level-headed way, I'm confident that you'll make the right decisions for yourself.

[Deathknightish]

I feel like you glossed over the "missteps" that made her afraid of you.

I have a female friend and former male acquaintance (he's on the autism spectrum) that were once close friends, they grew up together in the same neighborhood. According to her, the two of them were in the car one day and he referred to her as his best friend. And the female friend (in a kindof bitch move in my opinion) was like, "I don't have a best friend" (I don't really understand her reasons for saying this). This made him VERY upset. He threatened to grab the wheel and kill the two of them, and she managed to calm him down enough to drive him home. But it freaked her the fuck out.

According to her, she made steps to repair the friendship but was always afraid of him after that, and the two of them no longer hang out.

The moral of my story is: trust is hard to repair when broken, and emotional disregulation/outbursts can be very scary to people not on the spectrum. Also I really suspect there's more to the story than the OP has shared here.

Also: relationships ebb and flow, make more friends and giving her some space will help.

I haven't glossed over anything, but I may have not been as detailed as I should've been.

During this time, I got extremely needy and emotional and the more she ignored me the more shitty I felt and I tried to get in contact with her.

It wasn't anything silly as that famous Denko story with 500 e-mails in 3 days, and waiting outside her house like a stalker. It was more like a total of 15-18 long emotional texts over the course of 5-6 months, so about 3 a month, over how much I missed my best friend and that I feel like shit and "needed" to see her to not feel like shit anymore.

I should've gotten therapy for that before anything happened, but I didn't think I would let it affect her as much as it did that time as I hadn't been that needy before.

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Ill be honest with you, if you dont let her go the court systems are going to end up doing it for you. Typically with a woman, once they get to the point of being "scared" that rarely changes and is many of the times to far to come back from. I dont think there is anything YOU can do at this point. Maybe in 10 years if SHE looks you up.. not the other way around things could be better but its going to take her deciding to make that first step on her own, not because you messaged her first.



Id be willing to bet there were alot of suicide threats, and even maybe some "faked suicide" using different phones numbers to make her think he had done it. An ex coworker of mine is in jail now for pulling some emo shit like this on a girl he met on POF.

I don't think she's scared of me, per se, anymore. Just very very tired and exhausted from the whole ordeal, and with broken trust of course. She did say that she understood that I felt like shit and was depressed. She also said that she stil felt scared and cornered, naturally, but I don't think a court order would be a possibility unless I did the exact same thing again, which won't happen regardless.

To the second point; nope, no suicide threats. Just "/cry /cry /cry I miss you so much, why won't you talk to me? I will only be happy if you talk to me again. My life is meaningless" and other stupid shit.

[Doctor Amadeus]

Mall: I read and acknowledged. I just don't know what to respond. You do have some points, though.
Not really sure how I'll completely forget about her unless I cut contact with the other two, but yeah you are right.

Yeah no problem, it's important to recognize you aren't the bad guy, but neither is she and neither of you owes the other. Your behaviour has been unacceptable according to you, sometimes friendships do end, but I think what your instincts are trying to tell you is not have this turn into a nightmare.

Sometimes the things we want most aren't always the things we should have, and I am not saying this is completely written yet, but there are your terms then their are her terms.

Maybe she has her own problems to contend with you know what it is like to have to struggle, so give her that time and space, and later maybe she does come back, or maybe she doesn't because you have moved on and made decisions, but I think you should trust your instincts.

You may have a condition, but I am sure you can mimic and model the kinds of relationships you do desire, even if you can't completely copy them.

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You're a guy trying to be friend with females?
Forget it, find guy friends. Unless you're one of those who think they were born with the wrong gender?
Men and women are quite different. You will never understand them and they will never understand you.

Not true, some of the most rewarding friendships I have is with women, if I ever need help bail money hahaha or identification I am sure they would be there for me, plus such, and I would be for them.

I could have a beer or simply go see a hockey game, or hang out, there is no difference between men and women in this regard besides sexual, and even in that if you don't know how to treat someone, regardless to gender you will struggle.

Women can be friends, but like in any relationship it just requires honest and tending.

[Aeluron Lightsong]

I feel like you glossed over the "missteps" that made her afraid of you.

I have a female friend and former male acquaintance (he's on the autism spectrum) that were once close friends, they grew up together in the same neighborhood. According to her, the two of them were in the car one day and he referred to her as his best friend. And the female friend (in a kindof bitch move in my opinion) was like, "I don't have a best friend" (I don't really understand her reasons for saying this). This made him VERY upset. He threatened to grab the wheel and kill the two of them, and she managed to calm him down enough to drive him home. But it freaked her the fuck out.

According to her, she made steps to repair the friendship but was always afraid of him after that, and the two of them no longer hang out.

The moral of my story is: trust is hard to repair when broken, and emotional disregulation/outbursts can be very scary to people not on the spectrum. Also I really suspect there's more to the story than the OP has shared here.

Also: relationships ebb and flow, make more friends and giving her some space will help.

As someone on the spectrum as well, that's pretty crazy, I know how I would feel but I wouldn't go that crazy. I do admit when me and my female friend awhile back several years ago sorta ended the friendship(Reason was dumb and still is) I reacted pretty horribly and I wish I could take it back but it happened.

Although to be honest a lot of the stuff I did during said friendship, I just facepalm at myself.

[Doctor Amadeus]

Honestly, if you have a legit medical condition that contributed and she still treated you like that, you might be better off. Clearly, you overstepped your bounds too many times, but if she was as strong a friend as you claim, you'd think she'd have tried to understand earlier or at least told you how you were making her feel. Perhaps it's just me, but I can't be bothered with people who get slighted easy and have no interest in getting a full picture of what's going on. You should want to understand and help your friends, not ignore them when they start acting crazy, especially when they know you have medical issues. Also, I'd suggest reading into some meditation techniques, really helped me detatch from things and not be so clingy.

Question why trash his friend with him he has had a very intimate and long relationship with and has explained in detail not only most importantly his behavior but hers. Friend or not obligation itself isn't love of friendship.

He has a condition sure, but he isn't crippled, he has a different way his brain works, but she obviously knows him well enough and more importantly he knows himself enough to call out his own bullshit like anybody else.


If she is at a point in her life where that kind of friendship is too much for her or she is dealing with her own shit why lay her out to be the bad guy. Everybody has problems friends aren't obligated to carry that, we hope they stick in and through with us.

But everybody has their breaking point.

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I feel like you glossed over the "missteps" that made her afraid of you.

I have a female friend and former male acquaintance (he's on the autism spectrum) that were once close friends, they grew up together in the same neighborhood. According to her, the two of them were in the car one day and he referred to her as his best friend. And the female friend (in a kindof bitch move in my opinion) was like, "I don't have a best friend" (I don't really understand her reasons for saying this). This made him VERY upset. He threatened to grab the wheel and kill the two of them, and she managed to calm him down enough to drive him home. But it freaked her the fuck out.

According to her, she made steps to repair the friendship but was always afraid of him after that, and the two of them no longer hang out.

The moral of my story is: trust is hard to repair when broken, and emotional disregulation/outbursts can be very scary to people not on the spectrum. Also I really suspect there's more to the story than the OP has shared here.

Also: relationships ebb and flow, make more friends and giving her some space will help.

We are only ever getting one side of the story and thus far nothing he said has been completely absolving of himself, in fact the contrary. He might be missing some things, but I don't think he glossed over anything.

Maybe he missed some things he doesn't appreciate at the moment, but that will happen.

He scared the shit out of her, with having one side of the story, maybe, she actually wasn't as scared, or maybe more, maybe her fear was irrational and had to do with other things, maybe it didn't.

I think bottom line it doesn't matter, he is actually being a damn good friend by reflecting on it at all like he is doing and seeing someone for it, I just think it comes down to his behavior concerning her, everything else he is pretty on track.


Losing a friendship is going to hurt, he seems like a good guy, but sometimes love, and caring aren't enough because people can grow a part and have their own struggles. Life is rough that way.

[Celista]

As someone on the spectrum as well, that's pretty crazy, I know how I would feel but I wouldn't go that crazy. I do admit when me and my female friend awhile back several years ago sorta ended the friendship(Reason was dumb and still is) I reacted pretty horribly and I wish I could take it back but it happened.

Although to be honest a lot of the stuff I did during said friendship, I just facepalm at myself.

I kindof feel like she should have known better than to say something like that, but I also don't think it's her fault or even really his. Part of an autism diagnosis is having poor emotional control. And if I cared for someone to that extent, I would find that person saying "you're not my best friend" a harmful thing to say. Even if, for whatever reason, it needed to be said.

[Doctor Amadeus]

The pain is how you know the lesson will stick :P

But I hear you. The 'what ifs' can really drive you crazy, and you don't want to let go of a connection that made you a better person.

I already gave you my best advice, but if you think you can salvage it, then go for it. Some times you just gotta do things your own way to figure out whether it was a good idea or a terrible one. Just do yourself a solid, if it doesn't work out how you intend it to, don't let it cripple you and don't let it ruin your other relationships.

No he shouldn't try to salvage it, some of this shit is actually damaging himself, and that isn't good, he needs to focus on himself, it's ok to be a little selfish for himself, and letting her deal with her own shit.

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I kindof feel like she should have known better than to say something like that, but I also don't think it's her fault or even really his. Part of an autism diagnosis is having poor emotional control. And if I cared for someone to that extent, I would find that person saying "you're not my best friend" a harmful thing to say. Even if, for whatever reason, it needed to be said.

Well that isn't realistic relationship, and autism or not this guy is going to know if she says one thing and means another as most do. Being phony and fake with people only backfires, because once it's established you can't be trusted anything you say is going to fall by the wayside.

Condition or not she isn't a fucking pet, she isn't an object she is a human being, who should be considerate, but people don't function in absolutes and perfection. He has to understand that as much as she does.

[Zyky]

To answer your question about how you get past it without feeling like shit, you don't. Sadly if you cared about the person to any degree it will hurt no matter what you do, even if you demonize the person. There are ways to speed up the healing process, however they aren't easy, but they do help. First thing you need to do is delete her number out of your phone, remove her from any friends lists you may have her on(facebook, bnet, ect), and spend time with other people(without mentioning her). Do activities with friends that won't make you think of her. Hypothetically if she plays WoW and nothing else find some friends and play League with them or any other game. The big thing is, it will hurt, but that hurt is what reminds you that you actually cared about the person. Try to move on, don't look back, and don't hold out hope to refresh the friendship because that will keep you hurting longer.

[Grizzelbar]

I am sorry, but having "Lisa" and "best friend" mentioned together just brings this up
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUy4Enphcfw

On a serious note, show respect to the other person's feelings and move on knowing that they will be all right. Though you already have someone else, remember that there are worse things than loneliness.

[Aeluron Lightsong]

I kindof feel like she should have known better than to say something like that, but I also don't think it's her fault or even really his. Part of an autism diagnosis is having poor emotional control. And if I cared for someone to that extent, I would find that person saying "you're not my best friend" a harmful thing to say. Even if, for whatever reason, it needed to be said.

Probably related to him I don't seem to have emotional control problems. More anxiety. Even if what she said was bad, reacting to it poorly still isn't the best idea. I can't talk much, it'd probably hurt.

[Celista]

No he shouldn't try to salvage it, some of this shit is actually damaging himself, and that isn't good, he needs to focus on himself, it's ok to be a little selfish for himself, and letting her deal with her own shit.

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Well that isn't realistic relationship, and autism or not this guy is going to know if she says one thing and means another as most do. Being phony and fake with people only backfires, because once it's established you can't be trusted anything you say is going to fall by the wayside.

Condition or not she isn't a fucking pet, she isn't an object she is a human being, who should be considerate, but people don't function in absolutes and perfection. He has to understand that as much as she does.

Yeah I'm not saying she had to lie to him. I am hearing about the conversation secondhand so I'm honestly uncertain as to how she responded, beyond what she said, that might have impacted the way he responded. She could have been kind and loving or really blunt about it.

Either way, I'm not trying to be judgemental. I don't know what I would have done in that situation.

[Doctor Amadeus]

Yeah I'm not saying she had to lie to him. I am hearing about the conversation secondhand so I'm honestly uncertain as to how she responded, beyond what she said, that might have impacted the way he responded. She could have been kind and loving or really blunt about it.

Either way, I'm not trying to be judgemental. I don't know what I would have done in that situation.

Well I wasn't trying to be judgemental to you either, but I was just trying to point out that having a conditions I don't think he is fragile persay. I agree depending on how anyone would say whatever to anyone matters.

But sometimes people just have to react the way they do, for their own sanity.

[Strawberry]

Yeah no problem, it's important to recognize you aren't the bad guy, but neither is she and neither of you owes the other. Your behaviour has been unacceptable according to you, sometimes friendships do end, but I think what your instincts are trying to tell you is not have this turn into a nightmare.

Sometimes the things we want most aren't always the things we should have, and I am not saying this is completely written yet, but there are your terms then their are her terms.

Maybe she has her own problems to contend with you know what it is like to have to struggle, so give her that time and space, and later maybe she does come back, or maybe she doesn't because you have moved on and made decisions, but I think you should trust your instincts.

You may have a condition, but I am sure you can mimic and model the kinds of relationships you do desire, even if you can't completely copy them.

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Not true, some of the most rewarding friendships I have is with women, if I ever need help bail money hahaha or identification I am sure they would be there for me, plus such, and I would be for them.

I could have a beer or simply go see a hockey game, or hang out, there is no difference between men and women in this regard besides sexual, and even in that if you don't know how to treat someone, regardless to gender you will struggle.

Women can be friends, but like in any relationship it just requires honest and tending.

Except that there are many woman things you will never understand and vice versa.
Have you ever tried working with women? I have an office job where most are women. It's a nightmare.