Relationship Advice? Ex-Girlfriend Started Dating Someone New

[Heave]

Hi Guys,

Just want to ask if anyone of you has been through a similar incident and how you coped with it? I need some advice here.

I was in a relationship with my girlfriend for 3 years before this, and were pretty much your average couple. She's 25 and I'm 27 and we're both working. I wouldn't claim to have a perfect relationship and we did have our disagreements and fights from time to time. However, we always made it work up till now and I feel that we did have something special with each other. Recently we had a big disagreement regarding the direction of our relationship and eventually decided to take a break to figure things out. We agreed that it wouldn't be permanent and we would meet again to talk about this in about 2-3 weeks. It's been a week since the break up by the way.

She's someone I love very much and I do want to settle down with her. Over the recent weekend, I found out that she started dating someone else from a friend of mine who was equally as shocked as me. Now, I know she's probably in a rebound relationship right now but it doesn't change the fact that it hurt to find out and I don't know what I should be doing right now. Should I talk to her about it? I'm not entirely ready to move on yet since this was supposed to be a temporary break, so I'd like some feedback on whether you guys have been through something similar before and how you handled it?

Much appreciated.

[Mifuyne]

Get over it.
10 characters

[breadisfunny]

yes. you move on. like most normal adults do.

[Aggrophobic]

She's no longer your girlfriend and as a general rule - If you have to come to MMO-C for help with your relationship, it's already over.
Get over it and move on.

[GreenJesus]

She took a break and found someone else. You had a disagreement about the direction and she decided someone else better fit what she was looking for.

[Th3D0n]

She may have agreed to only break up " temporarily " so she avoids the messy part when in fact she didn't intend to get back with you. Even if the new guy is just for rebound, seems she's trying to move on, pretty sure she's not stupid, it was obvious you would find out. My understanding of the situation is that it's over, sadly you have to move on.

[andy123456]

ideally u should be taking advice from a real life friend not on forum.Specially a friend who knows you and ur ex

[LiiLoSNK]

Agree to take a break and she's instantly dating someone else? Chances are she wanted to date the other guy while dating you, so I'm not sure if I'd qualify that as a rebound. Don't talk to her about it. She doesn't want to hear it.

She wants to bone other people, so I'd recommend you try to do the same and expect to put your original relationship behind you. It's part of a healthy normal mindset to not dwell on stuff like this.

[Lane]

She may have agreed to only break up " temporarily " so she avoids the messy part when in fact she didn't intend to get back with you. Even if the new guy is just for rebound, seems she's trying to move on, pretty sure she's not stupid, it was obvious you would find out. My understanding of the situation is that it's over, sadly you have to move on.

This. I was in a relationship many years ago under the same "break" circumstances only to find out from a family member that there was never any intention to get back together. It's basically a coward's way out just short of being ghosted. The idea behind it is that hopefully you've moved on by the arbitrary revisit date.

[Deleted]

Whore prepared someone else to jump on while conveniently on a "break".

She's no longer a person much less a romantic partner to you now.

[breadisfunny]

if it was me the instant she says she need a break than it's over. if you truly loved me you wouldn't need a break.

[LiiLoSNK]

if it was me the instant you say you need a break than it's over. if you truly loved me you wouldn't need a break.

How would anyone ever know if it was true love if you were the only person they ever dated? It's impossible to know unless they tried dating at least one other person. Do you want them to "love" you or settle for you?

[Schmittay]

Could be she was interested in the guy before you broke up and decided to use your last fight as a chance to gently let you off. A week to get over a 3 year relationship? I don't think so.

Sorry dude, it's hard, I take break ups hard and the best thing to do is just get on with it. It ain't easy and you will feel huge amounts of jealousy and think you can win her back, but sometimes you just gotta move on.

[breadisfunny]

this makes me wonder if she was cheating on him before this and used this to break it off before he found out.

[gushDH]

A break is never temporary. You can talk to her, but just to finish it all better.

Plenty of fruits in the basket, though.

[Guchie]

Hi Guys,

Just want to ask if anyone of you has been through a similar incident and how you coped with it? I need some advice here.

I was in a relationship with my girlfriend for 3 years before this, and were pretty much your average couple. She's 25 and I'm 27 and we're both working. I wouldn't claim to have a perfect relationship and we did have our disagreements and fights from time to time. However, we always made it work up till now and I feel that we did have something special with each other. Recently we had a big disagreement regarding the direction of our relationship and eventually decided to take a break to figure things out. We agreed that it wouldn't be permanent and we would meet again to talk about this in about 2-3 weeks. It's been a week since the break up by the way.

She's someone I love very much and I do want to settle down with her. Over the recent weekend, I found out that she started dating someone else from a friend of mine who was equally as shocked as me. Now, I know she's probably in a rebound relationship right now but it doesn't change the fact that it hurt to find out and I don't know what I should be doing right now. Should I talk to her about it? I'm not entirely ready to move on yet since this was supposed to be a temporary break, so I'd like some feedback on whether you guys have been through something similar before and how you handled it?

Much appreciated.

So I'm going to lay this out for you in some cold hard facts but end it with some "here's how to get better".

Facts:

If she told you its temporary it's cause she wants to keep you on a string, she likes you, thinks your wonderful, but wonders "can I do better?" Thats what this guy is, he didnt just phase out of no where, she bumped into him getting coffee and said "holy shit, I just met you, lets start dating". This guy was lined up. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it's very likely. It doesnt make you a better or worse person than a month ago, it's just how messed up we are as people.

Don't talk to her about it, she doesn't care right now, at least not in the way you want her to, right now you are like a puppy or a kitty, she doesnt want to see you hurt, but she isn't going to run back into a relationship cause you're all teary-eyed right now. We are stupid creatures sometimes, your relationship end hurts cause thats your lizard brain telling you "your chance at a relationship, and a child, are vanishing RIGHT NOW, FREAK THE F OUT". But it's not, there is a saying, "if you want to get over someone, get under someone else." and it's true, real talk, go on a date, doesnt even have to a good one, just go on one so you can see that the dating pool isnt dry and there is someone else.

Ok, now on to what to do.

This is the basic advice you give to anyone after a break.

1. Cut contact, if she's on facebook, drop her, block her, delete facebook, whatever just dont talk to her. If you HAVE to talk to her, make it professional like a work meeting.
2. Get off social media for awhile. No twitter, no facebook, no nothing, especially if you're friends, you're going to see pictures of her happy and moving on, that will totally mess with your head, just step away from it.
3. Pick up a hobby. Read some books you havent had a chance to read, learn to paint, take up clay sculptures, doesnt matter, pick up a hobby that interests you and do it. Hiking, biking, competitive running, writing, whatever it is, something to fill your time.
4. Go to the gym. This is kind of important, and if you already do, go a bit more for awhile. Accomplishments boosts your self esteem. You're probably feeling down on yourself and it's silly, cause you're the same awesome guy you were 2 weeks ago. So do something, accomplish something. If you do lift, try and lift a bit more, hit a new best. If you dont lift, start lifting. If you dont gym at all, start going, lift a bit, do some cardio, set a goal and hit it, make a new goal, hit that, do it over and over again, just keep hitting those goals.

And that's it, keep busy, avoid contact, better yourself, focus on you and the rest of the stuff will work out on its own. Chin up, it gets better, you'll get better, and you deserve better.

[Celista]

So I'm going to lay this out for you in some cold hard facts but end it with some "here's how to get better".

Facts:

If she told you its temporary it's cause she wants to keep you on a string, she likes you, thinks your wonderful, but wonders "can I do better?" Thats what this guy is, he didnt just phase out of no where, she bumped into him getting coffee and said "holy shit, I just met you, lets start dating". This guy was lined up. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it's very likely. It doesnt make you a better or worse person than a month ago, it's just how messed up we are as people.

Don't talk to her about it, she doesn't care right now, at least not in the way you want her to, right now you are like a puppy or a kitty, she doesnt want to see you hurt, but she isn't going to run back into a relationship cause you're all teary-eyed right now. We are stupid creatures sometimes, your relationship end hurts cause thats your lizard brain telling you "your chance at a relationship, and a child, are vanishing RIGHT NOW, FREAK THE F OUT". But it's not, there is a saying, "if you want to get over someone, get under someone else." and it's true, real talk, go on a date, doesnt even have to a good one, just go on one so you can see that the dating pool isnt dry and there is someone else.

Ok, now on to what to do.

This is the basic advice you give to anyone after a break.

1. Cut contact, if she's on facebook, drop her, block her, delete facebook, whatever just dont talk to her. If you HAVE to talk to her, make it professional like a work meeting.
2. Get off social media for awhile. No twitter, no facebook, no nothing, especially if you're friends, you're going to see pictures of her happy and moving on, that will totally mess with your head, just step away from it.
3. Pick up a hobby. Read some books you havent had a chance to read, learn to paint, take up clay sculptures, doesnt matter, pick up a hobby that interests you and do it. Hiking, biking, competitive running, writing, whatever it is, something to fill your time.
4. Go to the gym. This is kind of important, and if you already do, go a bit more for awhile. Accomplishments boosts your self esteem. You're probably feeling down on yourself and it's silly, cause you're the same awesome guy you were 2 weeks ago. So do something, accomplish something. If you do lift, try and lift a bit more, hit a new best. If you dont lift, start lifting. If you dont gym at all, start going, lift a bit, do some cardio, set a goal and hit it, make a new goal, hit that, do it over and over again, just keep hitting those goals.

And that's it, keep busy, avoid contact, better yourself, focus on you and the rest of the stuff will work out on its own. Chin up, it gets better, you'll get better, and you deserve better.

This advice is good OP, you should take it.

Also: Think of relationships like catching a cab, if you actively work on meeting new people then you'll find another one soon enough. Have fun and don't fixate on the one who "got away", if she loved you like you deserved then she wouldn't have let you go in the first place.

[The Penguin]

Consider yourself lucky.

[Mihalik]

Move on. It's over. It sucks, but it's over.

If you force it, there'll be just bitterness, mistrust and angst. Nothing to gain there.

I feel for you man, but your choices are pain now, for a while, or pain for a long ass time.

[kamuimac]

Hi Guys,

Just want to ask if anyone of you has been through a similar incident and how you coped with it? I need some advice here.

I was in a relationship with my girlfriend for 3 years before this, and were pretty much your average couple. She's 25 and I'm 27 and we're both working. I wouldn't claim to have a perfect relationship and we did have our disagreements and fights from time to time. However, we always made it work up till now and I feel that we did have something special with each other. Recently we had a big disagreement regarding the direction of our relationship and eventually decided to take a break to figure things out. We agreed that it wouldn't be permanent and we would meet again to talk about this in about 2-3 weeks. It's been a week since the break up by the way.

She's someone I love very much and I do want to settle down with her. Over the recent weekend, I found out that she started dating someone else from a friend of mine who was equally as shocked as me. Now, I know she's probably in a rebound relationship right now but it doesn't change the fact that it hurt to find out and I don't know what I should be doing right now. Should I talk to her about it? I'm not entirely ready to move on yet since this was supposed to be a temporary break, so I'd like some feedback on whether you guys have been through something similar before and how you handled it?

Much appreciated.

wanna hear my honest opinion - i will be brutal but you f... up - you clearly were invested emotionaly while she wasnt and wa looking for a first excuse to get out and get a new D. in her.

just man up stop whining like a pussy and find a new woman . that one already forgot about you and you wont change it. hook up randomly a few time - nothing heals broken heart faster like good shagging. plenty of one night stands out there you will get her out of your system in no time this way.