dating preferences are bad?

[Kathandira]

why do people say dating preferences are bad? if someone say they dont want to date a fat girl then people attack them saying they should stop to be so shallow, if they dont want to date someone because they dont have a lot of money they are called a gold digger, if they dont want to date someone because of height they are called shallow, if they dont want to date white/black/asian people they call them racist.

why? cant people have dating preferences without others attacking them???

Are preferences bad? Nah. Is it bad to have an extremely narrow preference and refuse to entertain anything that deviates from that? Could be.

Saying you don't find fat people attractive, sure that is fine. Saying I refuse to date someone with even 5lbs of extra weight on them is kinda shallow. But that is in your choice. Just be aware that you could be missing out on the perfect relationship simply because of a superficial reason.

[Deleted]

Cmon dude. If you`re like `No blacks, no japanese, no koreans, no Fillipinos, no mexicans`etc etc...that`s racist.

No it isn't now stop embarrassing yourself

[Player Twelve]

Are preferences bad? Nah. Is it bad to have an extremely narrow preference and refuse to entertain anything that deviates from that? Could be.

Saying you don't find fat people attractive, sure that is fine. Saying I refuse to date someone with even 5lbs of extra weight on them is kinda shallow. But that is in your choice. Just be aware that you could be missing out on the perfect relationship simply because of a superficial reason.

Why would anyone ever be with someone they're not attracted to? You're wasting both your own time and their time if you do that.

[Donald Hellscream]

Because people are idiots.

If one person wants to bone a chick that looks like a wandering skeleton and another wants to bang a 250 kg chick then they are both within their right to do so, granted my examples are on the polar ends of the extreme I do think that people have every right to any preference they want even if that makes the person super shallow.

[Moon-Man]

Because people are stupid. If someone feels hurt or excluded by your preferences people think you are a bad person.

A person have their own right to have preferences in dating. You should not be forced to date whatever the social media dictates.
But they should be considerate to people they rejecting.

[Carnedge]

Not everyone has the same formative experience.

k

So who we are attracted to has more to do with our environment?

Not in my experience.

I grew up in a black neighborhood with black friends and teachers. Yet I don't find the common black features attractive at all.

Yet I am attracted to certain females with certain characteristics. I have no control over this, neither does my environment. That's just chemical reactions in your head. Biology. You can't control it. I don't know why I like who I like.

But everyone is different. Maybe there are people out there more influenced by their environment. I wouldn't box everyone in like that. That's why i say its "My excuse".

[Player Twelve]

But they should be considerate to people they rejecting.

Very few are actually going to say "No, I won't date you because you're a fat disgusting slob", they're going to say something akin to "I'm not interested".

[Halyon]

Is this about Riley Dennis? 'Cus it smells like Riley Dennis...

[Dwarfhamster]

Preferences aren't bad. Everyone has preferences. When those preferences become strict requirements or exclusions, then it's "bad" in the sense that a person is irrationally blocking out a group of people, thus limiting the potential of finding a good mate. But hey, it's your life, have whatever requirements you want--not skin off anyone else's back, and your own potential lose.

I think someone else noted that our requirements for mates is often shaped by society, family, media, etc. try to break out of those strictures and look at the person for who they are.

[Deleted]

Is this about Riley Dennis? 'Cus it smells like Riley Dennis...

who is riley dennis??

[Carnedge]

who is riley dennis??

some dood...

[Usernameforforums]

Opinions are opinions and people have opinions on your opinions. There is no right or wrong when is comes to dating preferences.

[Nasuuna]

Why would they be attacked for not wanting to date an overweight girl. Isn`t that human nature.

As for your other examples, they`re obviously racist if they are excluding multiple races like that.

Not finding other races attractive =/= hating them :3

Its like calling gay men sexist for not being attracted to women

[Doctor Amadeus]

Preferences are fine, I mean personally if I were Mario or Luigi, and I found out the Princess was Blonde instead of Brunette I wouldn't have come chasing down any dragons.

[Kathandira]

Why would anyone ever be with someone they're not attracted to? You're wasting both your own time and their time if you do that.

If you don't know, then I likely wouldn't be the one who could explain it. But i'll try.

When I was younger, I had the image of the perfect woman built in my head. I kept dating the type of woman I thought was perfect. However those relationships kept going south. It wasn't until I learned the difference between what I want, and what I need. Some refer to it as settling, but I really don't see it that way. I see it as taking the time to see someone for more than how physically attracted I am. That's not to say you can't find someone who fits each criteria you have listed, it is possible, but you will either get really lucky, or you will be looking for a very long time.

When I turned 27, I met the woman I will be marrying. Is she my perfect definition of physical beauty? No, and she doesn't lie to herself by thinking I don't find other woman more physically attractive, and same goes for me. I'm no perfect 10, so I don't get jealous if she thinks someone else is hotter than me. But beyond the skin, we are a perfect match. We have similar enough views on all things that we are able to have real conversations about things, and we work together as a team better than anyone else I know. We laugh together, we cry together, we sweat together, and we succeed together. I find that far more important than physical perfection.

[Martymark]

Under this policy lesbians are evil unless they date pre-op trans, who visually look like huge hairy men. Because they are bigots if they are a lesbian that prefers women.

[Donald Hellscream]

who is riley dennis??

A transgender person who thinks you are a bigot for refusing to date trans people.

[Player Twelve]

If you don't know, then I likely wouldn't be the one who could explain it. But i'll try.

When I was younger, I had the image of the perfect woman built in my head. I kept dating the type of woman I thought was perfect. However those relationships kept going south. It wasn't until I learned the difference between what I want, and what I need. Some refer to it as settling, but I really don't see it that way. I see it as taking the time to see someone for more than how physically attracted I am. That's not to say you can't find someone who fits each criteria you have listed, it is possible, but you will either get really lucky, or you will be looking for a very long time.

When I turned 27, I met the woman I will be marrying. Is she my perfect definition of physical beauty? No, and she doesn't lie to herself by thinking I don't find other woman more physically attractive, and same goes for me. I'm no perfect 10, so I don't get jealous if she thinks someone else is hotter than me. But beyond the skin, we are a perfect match. We have similar enough views on all things that we are able to have real conversations about things, and we work together as a team better than anyone else I know. We laugh together, we cry together, we sweat together, and we succeed together. I find that far more important than physical perfection.

I didn't say anything about physical perfection though. I was talking about being with someone you're not attracted to. Those people I'm talking about are better suited as friends than as sexual/romantic relationship boyfriend/girlfriend, I could never have sex with someone I'm not attracted to.

[flyspyro]

looks matter to a point. fat, skinny, ugly w/e. Initially, sure be picky if you want, but if you think that the both of you are not going to get old and gross you are living in a fairy tale. We are not vampires and you will turn ugly and old yourself and I bet you would still expect your partner to love and want you right???!
That is the reason people get mad about the whole looks thing.. When you love someone most people don't care that they got fatter or ugly because the odds are they did too. now, if you are filthy rich you could still get a good looking partner, but it wont be love and if that's something you can live with then go for it.

[Kathandira]

In context from my first post, what I said is accurate.

Are preferences bad? Nah. Is it bad to have an extremely narrow preference and refuse to entertain anything that deviates from that? Could be.

Saying you don't find fat people attractive, sure that is fine. Saying I refuse to date someone with even 5lbs of extra weight on them is kinda shallow. But that is in your choice. Just be aware that you could be missing out on the perfect relationship simply because of a superficial reason.

I'm not talking about straight up unattracted to them. I'm talking about marginal differences is where I would call someone shallow.