'I want to explain arranged marriage to white people'

[Player Twelve]

So? It still wasn't their choice.

It was. They were not forced into it.

[josykay]

It was. They were not forced into it.

It was not, because their family chose for them. If it works out, fine. But that is not necessary the case. And mostly the primary interests are not those of the childs, but of the parents. No matter, if social, or financial.

[melodramocracy]

Forced marriage =/= Arranged marriage.

If you don't think there are individuals who have entered arranged marriages against their own wishes for the benefit of their family honor / wealth etc, you're absolutely lying to yourself.

[Player Twelve]

It was not, because their family chose for them. If it works out, fine. But that is not necessary the case. And mostly the primary interests are not those of the childs, but of the parents. No matter, if social, or financial.

I guess you don't really understand that an arranged marriage is more akin to matchmaking in many cultures where you can decline marrying them instead of being forced to and they'll go looking for another partner and introduce you to each other.

[josykay]

I guess you don't really understand that an arranged marriage is more akin to matchmaking in many cultures where you can decline marrying them instead of being forced to and they'll go looking for another partner and introduce you to each other.

Which is still a partner primary in THEIR interests.

[Lochton]

We need to, however, take into an account that there's not only one type of an arranged marriage in existance. The more acceptable option is literally just families hooking their kids up for a few dates to see how they get along and then the offsprings can decide together if they want to get married. If not, no one is forced into it.

I'm pretty sure not many people in the west are alright with either, or both, of the sides not consenting on a marriage.

Ah, but the 'good' kind is just known as 'hitching' now, nothing more. Arranged marriages used to be a deal between families.

[Player Twelve]

Which is still an partner primary in THEIR interests.

I'm not sure if you're understanding what I'm saying. If they can say no, how is it not their choice?

[josykay]

I'm not sure if you're understanding what I'm saying. If they can say no, how is it not their choice?

How do you know, to say no, without properly knowing the partner. And all potential partners after saying no, are still primary chosen by your parents. Not by you. For THEIR interests. Not yours. Which makes arranged marriage wrong per se.

[Dhrizzle]

Not knee-jerking. You start off a headline with "white people", its racist.

Reading two words in a headline and making assumptions about the content and the person it's about is pretty much the definition of a knee-jerk reaction.

If you mean a country, a region or a culture, List that. Not their skin color, because a culture can encompass an entire region, or only part of one.

Prey tell, what is the point in say "white people" instead of "Americans" or "Westerners" or any variation that would refer to people of a culture or region that would encompass all of the skin colors of said region. I am pretty sure most Americans would have the same basic grasp of another countries cultures or traditions, regardless of their skin.

Okay, so the problem is you saw a phrase you consider politically incorrect and it offended you. Nothing wrong with that but rather than knee-jerking and crying "racist" (an accusation I disagree with) why not write a polite letter to the publisher or even a blog post explaining why it hurt your feelings. You might not get the general consensus to agree with you, and "white people" might never become accepted as a racist slur, but it will probably be a more constructive use of your time.

[Tinytalon]

Ah, but the 'good' kind is just known as 'hitching' now, nothing more. Arranged marriages used to be a deal between families.

That may be the case when it comes to western people. When I mentioned "arranged marriage" to my fiancé, he instantly thought of the one I explained to you. He said they call it that in the Asia, and forced marriage is a whole different thing to them than arranged marriage.

[Dhrizzle]

Not to mention that many primitive traditions have been abandoned in the West not because of people not understanding them, but because of the exact opposite reason: people actually understand perfectly their pros and cons. And being products of an enlightened secular culture, they have judged the net worth of certain practices to be negative. This, however, is something that people coming from less enlightened cultures (as well as SJW's and other multiculturalists) often fail to understand themselves: most Western people already understand all of their points because they look at them from above; they've already been through it, and culturally evolved beyond and above it.

Aw bless, you think society evolves through rational and informed discourse rather than large bunches of people following barely understood notions and hoping for the best.

[Cyanu]

imo there's nothing for her to explain, she's just been living under that 'stench' for so long that she ended up thinking it's not so bad and that those living outside are simply too quick to reject it

there's nothing to misunderstand about 'arranged marriage', it's when your family elders take control of your personal life and make choices you should be making for reasons unrelated to you, now if by some small miracle you end up marrying the person you actually wanted to marry well you won the lottery i guess? in any other case it's forced marriage that can only lead to misery

if anything it's dramatic that she has to find all those stupid excuses to dodge marriage instead of simply being able to say no

[McFuu]

The West had and understands arranged marriages. We just don't do it anymore

I actually still think it's practiced in some better off families, and eastern Europe.

I really don't see why it needs to be explained though, I'm pretty sure anyone that can pick up a book gets it.

[Karaoke]

Yes, I know what oath means. That still doesn't mean you have an obligation to make it work if you fall out of love or else it's a failure. People would pity or mock you if you're staying in a marriage that's not working out.

The oath is the obligation, this isn't a difficult concept. You promised to do something, not being able to uphold that promise is failure. I dunno how they do weddings in Sweden but we don't include language that says 'till death or until I fall out of love with you'.

[Dhrizzle]

Arranged marriages have been around for a long time. No need for explanation.

Maybe where you come from but no-one I know has been involved in an arranged marriage so Inonky get this kind of information from others who live with it.

[Zantos]

Reading two words in a headline and making assumptions about the content and the person it's about is pretty much the definition of a knee-jerk reaction.

No. Taking something completely out of context and then reacting in a huge fashion without thinking and without facts in knee jerk. Calling someone out for making a racist remark is not knee jerk.

[Self Inflicted Wounds]

The oath is the obligation, this isn't a difficult concept. You promised to do something, not being able to uphold that promise is failure. I dunno how they do weddings in Sweden but we don't include language that says 'till death or until I fall out of love with you'.

You don't actually have to put that in your wedding.

[Shadowferal]

I remember talking to a woman that was eight months pregnant. She said she absolutely loathed her husband...
Mind was boggled...but it was all arranged long before the marriage.

[Player Twelve]

The oath is the obligation, this isn't a difficult concept. You promised to do something, not being able to uphold that promise is failure. I dunno how they do weddings in Sweden but we don't include language that says 'till death or until I fall out of love with you'.

An oath doesn't create an obligation outside of a legal context, such as an oath sworn to not lie or mislead in court.

[Dhrizzle]

No. Taking something completely out of context and then reacting in a huge fashion without thinking and without facts in knee jerk.

I know, that's why I am saying you made a knee-jerk reaction.