When men do this, it's in spirit of the sport, and when females do it, it's a tantrum and meltdown.
Take it from someone who actually played 4 years on ITF level and 1.5 years on ATP level. I've seen men say way worse things, up to the point where they said that the umpire should off himself, and more things amongst that line.
Not to mention according to a few sources Carlos Ramos has received multiple complaints this year against him for pestering players, Nadal, Federer, Djokovic, Serena Williams, Venus Williams and few lower ranked players. He's already barred from Roland Garros due to him pestering Nadal and the USO will probably avoid him for this fiasco as well.
The punishment for Serena was fine, but it's the problem on how he did it. He made the entire thing all about himself wanting to punish Serena, a good umpire would have tried to defuse the situation by telling the frustrated player that the warning was against her coach and not her, and they would have also warned about the game default being the next punishment if she kept it up.
He didn't do either of those things, and that's why he's not a gold badge umpire, because good umpires have enough empathy to calm the player down.
As for Serena, she can't help it, whenever she feels wronged she takes it back to indian wells mess, the uso 2004 mess, the 2003 henin hand mess, she instantly gets rattled and she can't shake it off, it's probably even worse because it seemed that this time around her frustration with her not playing well made it even worse.