Do you consider friends as important as your partner?

[Deathknightish]

I do, especially my best friend.

Had a talk with my best friend about this a while ago. She's a 31 year old woman while I'm a 31 year old man.
We got into a discussion about how we view people in our lives and how important they are, and we both agreed on one thing; we are more important to each other than any romantic partner will ever be, and we are both a non-negotiable part of each other's life that no girlfriend or boyfriend will get rid of, and will have to accept. We see each other like twice a week or so, and go either to each other's house to watch a movie, go out for dinner or just have a few beers and talk about the week or general venting. We call each other our number one.

I think the way I see close friendships is a minority though, so I want to hear how you see close friendships. Are they just as important as romantic relationships, or do you see them as lesser?

[Ghostpanther]

Hell no. The best friend I have is my wife. Has been for decades. If you can not say the same and are married, I think there is a issue with your marriage. Relationships without marriage however? *shrugs.

[CheckThyself]

first and foremost, God above any other relationship.
then your wife, then your friends.
family is somehwere in there i'm sure.

[Felya]

I don’t have a single friend that I would sign a mortgage with... not that my friends are bad... but...

[Seirith]

My husband is more important to me than any other friendship which is why I married and am spending my life with him and not someone else who is just a friend. Not that friends are not important, they are, but my friends are not as important as the person I am living my entire life with and making huge life decisions with. My best friend is my husband and I find it weird that someone would not consider their spouse as their best friend.

OP, have you or your best friend ever had a long term relationship with someone? How did your/their girlfriend/boyfriend see the relationship you two have?

[Deathknightish]

I don’t have a single friend that I would sign a mortgage with... not that my friends are bad... but...

Of course. Friends fill different needs, but are just as important, if not more, for my mental health as a girlfriend or a wife can ever be.

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My husband is more important to me than any other friendship which is why I married and am spending my life with him and not someone else who is just a friend. Not that friends are not important, they are, but my friends are not as important as the person I am living my entire life with and making huge life decisions with. My best friend is my husband and I find it weird that someone would not consider their spouse as their best friend.

IMO ebcause he's your partner. He's not your best friend. Best friend for me = your best non-romantic person. You can have great fun with your husband, but for me a partner can never be considered a best friend. My romantic partner and my best friend is my right hand and my left hand respectively.

[Seirith]

IMO ebcause he's your partner. He's not your best friend. Best friend for me = your best non-romantic person. You can have great fun with your husband, but for me a partner can never be considered a best friend. My romantic partner and my best friend is my right hand and my left hand respectively.

My answer would still be the same, my husband is more important to me than someone who is just a friend. I am living and building an entire life with my husband, I am not doing that with a best friend. My husband and my parents are the 3 most important people to me, then my friends.

[Deathknightish]

My answer would still be the same, my husband is more important to me than someone who is just a friend. I am living and building an entire life with my husband, I am not doing that with a best friend. My husband and my parents are the 3 most important people to me, then my friends.

Ok, I understand!

Personally that's just one part of life, but not necessary the most important one.I think having one best friend that you talk to regularly and meet up is just as important, even more, than any spouse, even if you don't build a life together in the practical sense. I think that's one positive a best friend has over your romantic partner. You only have to see each other when you both want to, and you can skip out on days you just want to hide under the sheets and not come out because everything sucks.

[Deathknightish]

No. My husband, who is my best friend, will always come first and be more important in my life.

What title does your closest friend have then, that you want to levitate over your other friends who is just that special in your life, but not your romantic partner?

[PC2]

I do, especially my best friend.

Had a talk with my best friend about this a while ago. She's a 31 year old woman while I'm a 31 year old man.
We got into a discussion about how we view people in our lives and how important they are, and we both agreed on one thing; we are more important to each other than any romantic partner will ever be, and we are both a non-negotiable part of each other's life that no girlfriend or boyfriend will get rid of, and will have to accept. We see each other like twice a week or so, and go either to each other's house to watch a movie, go out for dinner or just have a few beers and talk about the week or general venting. We call each other our number one.

I think the way I see close friendships is a minority though, so I want to hear how you see close friendships. Are they just as important as romantic relationships, or do you see them as lesser?

lol the bolded part is what I was trying tell you in the other thread. You absolutely are in the minority and your female friendship would be problematic in most cases. That's not to say your priorities are wrong for you personally but I don't think they would work for most people.

[dextersmith]

It seems someone may have married the wrong person if they choose a friend over their spouse. Or maybe the wife is just there for sex and to be a nanny.

It sounds like op would marry his best friend except one is physically incompatible with the other.

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IMO ebcause he's your partner. He's not your best friend. Best friend for me = your best non-romantic person. You can have great fun with your husband, but for me a partner can never be considered a best friend. My romantic partner and my best friend is my right hand and my left hand respectively.

Seems like marriage is just an arrangement of sorts to you.

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Ok, I understand!

Personally that's just one part of life, but not necessary the most important one.I think having one best friend that you talk to regularly and meet up is just as important, even more, than any spouse, even if you don't build a life together in the practical sense. I think that's one positive a best friend has over your romantic partner. You only have to see each other when you both want to, and you can skip out on days you just want to hide under the sheets and not come out because everything sucks.

There's something very wrong when you only want to see your wife on days that are convenient for your personal agenda.

[Witchblade77]

I chose my partner to be my partner - for a reason. they are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, live with, share both joy and sorrow with.

is it possible with friends? yes. do I have friends whom I love dearly and some I have known longer then my SO? yes. would i prioritize them OVER SO? no. and neither will they prioritize me if the choice is their SO or me. heck, they would prioritize their immediate family over me AND THAT IS HOW IT SHOULD BE.

my SO is the closest family I chose.

and btw, that doesn't have anything to do with genders of friends. and I don't think a friend is JUST a friend either. close friends are also a sort of like family - a chosen one (so in many ways, they could be closer and more important then blood family, depending on your relationships with them). but even in families there is a hierarchy of priorities. I have chosen my SO AS my SO, because I wanted them to be my top priority.

P.S. I have had days when everything sucks and I just want to stay in bed and hide from the world. my SO is the ONLY person that I'm willing to interact with on those days. and that is also why they are my SO.

[Doctor Amadeus]

Nope, never

[Fencers]

No. Otherwise I would not be married to this guy.

[Kascat]

My husband is my best friend and definitely takes priority over my next closest friend.

I can honestly not imagine many people would be willing to get married to someone who explicitly tells them friend X is, and always will be, more important than their marital relationship. That sounds really strange to me... For the majority of people I know the opposite is usually true - if you're not considerate and respectful of their spouse/marriage, they are going to tell you where to stick your friendship (because they value their spouse and spouse's feelings and opinions over their friendship with you).

[Doctor Amadeus]

No, because none of my friends are now entitled to half my shit LOL! j/k But no

[Sorensen]

I do, especially my best friend.

Had a talk with my best friend about this a while ago. She's a 31 year old woman while I'm a 31 year old man.
We got into a discussion about how we view people in our lives and how important they are, and we both agreed on one thing; we are more important to each other than any romantic partner will ever be, and we are both a non-negotiable part of each other's life that no girlfriend or boyfriend will get rid of, and will have to accept. We see each other like twice a week or so, and go either to each other's house to watch a movie, go out for dinner or just have a few beers and talk about the week or general venting. We call each other our number one.

I think the way I see close friendships is a minority though, so I want to hear how you see close friendships. Are they just as important as romantic relationships, or do you see them as lesser?

Why don't you just get with this bff of yours?

[Deathknightish]

Why don't you just get with this bff of yours?

No attraction between us. We are as close as one can be, but there's no sexual attraction between us.

[beanman12345]

lol the bolded part is what I was trying tell you in the other thread. You absolutely are in the minority and your female friendship would be problematic in most cases. That's not to say your priorities are wrong for you personally but I don't think they would work for most people.

nah, that's not what you were saying in the other thread, not to mention you railed against confirmation bias in that thread too. way to fail, as usual.

[PC2]

nah, that's not what you were saying in the other thread, not to mention you railed against confirmation bias in that thread too. way to fail, as usual.

Okay, I'm not sure what your argument is. Deathknightish implied that he goes on trips with his female friend while (apparently) his significant other is at home. My argument here is that he should figure out who is truly more "significant" and who would be a better mother and then he should prioritize that person over the other one.

In this case it seems like he is choosing one person based on physical appearance and then he is choosing the other based on who has the best personality. In my opinion he should be looking for a combination of both instead of creating separate categories where it's not clear that one person has priority.