Are you man afraid to touch another man?

[TEHPALLYTANK]

Yes but it is due to the fact I simply don't trust random people to get within arm's reach of me, even people I do trust still put me on edge if they get too close. Any physical contact from someone in my blind spot triggers my fight response (Lack of trust of people leads to my survival instincts triggering when I perceive a situation as potentially threatening, as to why the fight response triggers instead of flight when the contact comes from my blind spot I am not sure). My life thus far has shown me I cannot trust others with my safety, be it physical or mental. I doubt I'll ever tone down my responses to physical contact or proximity, sadly people are not worthy of such trust.

[Nadev]

So are you saying you are homophobic and dislike gays unless they conform to some "straight American norm"?

I think he was saying he dislikes obnoxious people.

[thsevecha]

I think this is more of a cultural thing. Here in Brazil most men hug each other and people are not affraid of personal contact. I'm gay and all of my straught friends hug me, kiss me in the cheek and stuff like that! Straight guys here can even go as far as telling a man friend that they love them if they are close friends. Of course there will alwyas be that guy who won't even touch another guy, but he's the exception.

[Lochton]

awesome, you took bits and pieces, eat it and shit it out and responded to that instead of what was actually said. way to go

Well, had to. It was shit in the first place, so had to be boiled down to make sense. Your view on what a real man is may be flawed, and being average sucks as well. I just can't see the whole view of pointing out things that doesn't make sense, to things that does. As I said, your preference is yours, but don't come claim a guy to be less of what he is for having a social behavior, seriously. You don't need to follow your "in touch with sexuality" handbook to avoid people, so put it down. There is nothing combined sexually (Metro or gay) to a gesture of a hug. It's just a reaction, nerves sending powered signals from your mind to your arms, normally followed with a "Good to see you" or "Hello". Just like a handshake brings the same type of signals. Nothing more, nothing less.

[Lady Tygry]

I'm not a touchy-feely person in general (female). I don't flinch or anything when other women (or men) touch me but I'm not the type who's going to reach out and touch someone in a friendly way (either sex). It's probably some sort of overcompensation for the fact that so many people seem to mistake politeness for flirtation anymore.
When I was younger, I was somewhat paranoid about people thinking I was gay (rumors in high school, etc.). I wore my hair short and I didn't date in high school (always liked my men older). As tends to happen with aging though, I simply stopped giving a shit what others thought.

[smelltheglove]

So are you saying you are homophobic and dislike gays unless they conform to some "straight American norm"?

if someone was blonde, and telling me frequently that they were blonde i wouldnt like them. not because i dont like blondes, but because it's fucking annoying as hell

[Deleted]

So are you saying you are homophobic and dislike gays unless they conform to some "straight American norm"?

Or that certain personalities annoy them? Personally I don't like the cliché flamboyant "gay" personality. It annoys me. In much the same way the overly macho, frat guy personality annoys me.

It has nothing to do with their sexuality, it's just something that grates on me.

[thesmall001]

I went to an middle class all boys school in the UK. High-fives, fist bumps, cool lame guy handshakes, gangsta handshakes, piggybacks, whole hearted and full bodied hugs, man hugs, bear hugs, back patting, leaning back to back, sitting on each others laps (on the bus when there were no seats left) and just generally unreserved physical contact was very normal within social groups but not cross social groups. So a geek behaved more relaxed around other geeks but turned on the macho around the sport or stoner guys.

You hear a lot of expectations of a lotta' gay at an all boys school but to be honest I think it made us all a lot more comfortable with our sexualities and relaxed about appearing "gay" because we were at an all boys school so everything had the potential to be a bit "gay" and ultimately we ended the 7 year run with pretty much no homosexual prejudice in a year group of 400 and even then hardly any gay guys. Funny how there never seems to be a surplus of homosexuality where it's "acceptable" and yet there's so much where it's social suicide.

I feel bad for the rest of the world that hasn't caught up with the progressive nature that I was lucky enough to be a part of at school. It's nice being able to give your mate a hug of appreciation without worrying about it and that's coming from a verified straight dude.

[fizzbob]

Well, had to. It was shit in the first place, so had to be boiled down to make sense. Your view on what a real man is may be flawed, and being average sucks as well. I just can't see the whole view of pointing out things that doesn't make sense, to things that does. As I said, your preference is yours, but don't come claim a guy to be less of what he is for having a social behavior, seriously. You don't need to follow your "in touch with sexuality" handbook to avoid people, so put it down. There is nothing combined sexually (Metro or gay) to a gesture of a hug. It's just a reaction, nerves sending powered signals from your mind to your arms, normally followed with a "Good to see you" or "Hello". Just like a handshake brings the same type of signals. Nothing more, nothing less.

so my view of a real man sucks, but you feel like yours is better? so basically you're bitching at me for being exactly like you lol
i don't care, you can hug guys, do body shots on them, whatever you're comfy with. i'm not going to though.

it's ok to be uncomfortable with things, it's NOT ok to pretend you're accepting of everything because nobody is

---------- Post added 2013-01-31 at 08:56 PM ----------

I went to an middle class all boys school in the UK. High-fives, fist bumps, cool lame guy handshakes, gangsta handshakes, piggybacks, whole hearted and full bodied hugs, man hugs, bear hugs, back patting, leaning back to back, sitting on each others laps (on the bus when there were no seats left) and just generally unreserved physical contact was very normal within social groups but not cross social groups. So a geek behaved more relaxed around other geeks but turned on the macho around the sport or stoner guys.

You hear a lot of expectations of a lotta' gay at an all boys school but to be honest I think it made us all a lot more comfortable with our sexualities and relaxed about appearing "gay" because we were at an all boys school so everything had the potential to be a bit "gay" and ultimately we ended the 7 year run with pretty much no homosexual prejudice in a year group of 400 and even then hardly any gay guys. Funny how there never seems to be a surplus of homosexuality where it's "acceptable" and yet there's so much where it's social suicide.

I feel bad for the rest of the world that hasn't caught up with the progressive nature that I was lucky enough to be a part of at school. It's nice being able to give your mate a hug of appreciation without worrying about it and that's coming from a verified straight dude.

yeah i don't sit in other guys' laps either

[gutnbrg]

if a man wants to be touchy feely with another man he's gay. when it comes to football, wrestling, grappling, etc, in context that has nothing to do with touchy feely but physical dominance

if a guy comes up and hugs me i'm going to whip his ass. i don't want him to hug me. no doubt in my mind he's getting a hard on when he does it because normal straight guys don't hug other normal straight guys. now i'm sure europeans are all about some man on man love but they're not the ideal men either. a real man can hunt, fish, replace a timing belt and fight. those types of men don't hug other men

i personally don't even think men who dance are very manly either. i don't dance or hug and i don't want a woman who lifts

you have issues...

[fizzbob]

you have issues...

so are you comfortable with kissing another man on the lips to say hello?
if you say no, you're gonna look like a hypocrite, remember that

[Lochton]

so my view of a real man sucks, but you feel like yours is better? so basically you're bitching at me for being exactly like you lol
i don't care, you can hug guys, do body shots on them, whatever you're comfy with. i'm not going to though.

it's ok to be uncomfortable with things, it's NOT ok to pretend you're accepting of everything because nobody is

But again, you are linking a common simple hug with so much else that is plain shit. Sorry for using straight out words. Yes, I was bitching at you for your view of a man, but that is mostly because I have a general feeling that you are a caveman. You don't seem to have a view of the man kinds of men there may be. Just like there is so many different types of women. Some may greet you and others kick you in the groin, really. And I don't think anyone is pretending currently. Many comments seems not to be.

[Acquilae]

Not sure how anyone can come up with Man-touch-man=100% gay. Personally I don't see an issue.

Not sure if they assume this mentality, but there was this one guy in a Philosophy class who was under the belief that gay men were attracted to anyone with a penis, i.e. not having a certain type they were interested in or anything.

Just straight up "if I come across a gay guy I'm gonna stay away because I know he's undressing me with his eyes" mentality.

[raechuul]

this notion that it's wrong to not want to have a clothed orgy with guys is why people are so soft these days. it's pretty feminine

What's wrong with being feminine? I'd rather have a nice guy who hugs his bros that he rarely sees, than some fake macho guy who can't show any emotion.
I'm coming to the conclusion you only like straight, macho men... And I use "like" in any sense of the word.

As a female, here is my own view. Personally, I don't like hugging anyone but my boyfriend. I'll accept hugs and sometimes give hugs to my friends that either need it (crying, upset, etc.) or those I haven't seen in a long time. Other than that, meh.

[Deleted]

so are you comfortable with kissing another man on the lips to say hello?
if you say no, you're gonna look like a hypocrite, remember that

What...

I just...

I can't even begin to follow the stupidity now!

[Varyk]

AS long as it's not inappropriate (jokes aside) I don't understand the problem.

[Fitzgerald77]

what does "in touch with your sexuality" mean? do you know that shit started out in a women's magazine? you didn't hear that shit on ESPN. you didn't hear it on anything guy-centric. straight men don't discuss other men's sexuality in passive conversation.

i'm not angry, you huggers are getting pretty pissed that i don't want to pretend i like hugging people

the whole time you're PRETENDING to be this metrosexual-cool-with-everything guy
this shit isn't a new phenomena. guys have pretended to not be "average guys" for a long time. it's a phase. or they're gay. average, normal, straight guys aren't touchy feely, arne't "in touch with their sexuality" and don't wanna be around other guys who talk about the shit all the time.

next time you're reading cosmo on the shitter, find the article in there about how women want real men when it comes down to it and that's why they cheat on their metrosexual, sensitive husband with his football-loving, asshole brother

Uh oh! I think we got another internet tough guy/keyboard warrior on our hands here!You sir have just made my day. I haven't laughed that hard in a while on here. Do you even know what a metrosexal is?

"in touch with your sexuality" as in you know what turns you on and you know how to please what you are attracted to? As in not being a small minded, homophobic fucktard that thinks a friend of yours is gay and wants to give it to you up the ass when all they do is give you a simple hug when they greet you?

I'm not pretending anything, sorry to burst your bubble man. Stop being pissed off and using lame insults towards people just because they don't think the same way that you do.

I would also LOVE to hear your definition of a so called "real man" that would just be pure gold

Side note: My favorite drink is Guinness >_> I fail to see what that has to do with anything.

[fizzbob]

But again, you are linking a common simple hug with so much else that is plain shit. Sorry for using straight out words. Yes, I was bitching at you for your view of a man, but that is mostly because I have a general feeling that you are a caveman. You don't seem to have a view of the man kinds of men there may be. Just like there is so many different types of women. Some may greet you and others kick you in the groin, really. And I don't think anyone is pretending currently. Many comments seems not to be.

a hug is a sign of affection. a handshake is a greeting. i hug my woman. i don't say "i love you bitch" and shake her hand.

to you a hug is NOT a sign of affection, except, sometimes it is a sign of affection. in my line of work, you don't hug. you shake hands, and not those limp wristed sissy handshakes, you shake the other guy's hand firmly.

[Darnash]

No, not really. I wrestled in high school myself, perhaps there's some reason. I don't go all huggy-huggy with everyone, but I hug my good guy friends in the right context (although hand shakes are probably more common). I'm not adverse to it, but I also wouldn't say I am prone to it.

[Itisamuh]

I went to an middle class all boys school in the UK. High-fives, fist bumps, cool lame guy handshakes, gangsta handshakes, piggybacks, whole hearted and full bodied hugs, man hugs, bear hugs, back patting, leaning back to back, sitting on each others laps (on the bus when there were no seats left) and just generally unreserved physical contact was very normal within social groups but not cross social groups. So a geek behaved more relaxed around other geeks but turned on the macho around the sport or stoner guys.

You hear a lot of expectations of a lotta' gay at an all boys school but to be honest I think it made us all a lot more comfortable with our sexualities and relaxed about appearing "gay" because we were at an all boys school so everything had the potential to be a bit "gay" and ultimately we ended the 7 year run with pretty much no homosexual prejudice in a year group of 400 and even then hardly any gay guys. Funny how there never seems to be a surplus of homosexuality where it's "acceptable" and yet there's so much where it's social suicide.

I feel bad for the rest of the world that hasn't caught up with the progressive nature that I was lucky enough to be a part of at school. It's nice being able to give your mate a hug of appreciation without worrying about it and that's coming from a verified straight dude.

While I have no problem with your experiences, I don't think acting like men who don't want to hug other men are somehow behind the times will do your point any justice. I don't dislike man to man contact because I'm behind or culturally warped, I simply don't like it. For me, touching beyond handshakes is reserved for the affection I'll only express to romantic interests, or loved ones on their death bed. I'd sit in the floor before I sat in another guy's lap or let one sit on mine. Fizzbob, whether his posts are a bit crude or not, had a point with the whole progressive, in touch with your sexuality crap that seems to get spewed a lot nowadays. It's all a bunch of garbage. There's absolutely nothing new or better about it. It's a preference, nothing more. Many men don't share it, and there's nothing wrong with that.