How do you break up with someone? What’s the best way?

[Kapadons]

In general, you need to have more confidence in yourself. I’ve never met a single woman that was in to insecurity in a relationship. You’re awesome as shit and she is lucky to have you toss penis into her.

Missed if you said it, but how long have you been together? Sometimes , couples run out of shit to say to each other because they do so much together and spend so much time together. So it may seem they get along better than you just cause they have new shit to say. If you want on a trip together, there isn’t a lot for you to talk about. Her ex going somewhere has something to share with her that’s new.

My wife has a guy friend that she gets on very well with. Put the 2 in a room together and they never shut up and laughter abounds. It doesn’t bug me one bit. For several reasons;

They don’t see each other every day. So they have shit to say to each other and stories to tell/catch up on

I’m confident in my relationship. My wife would be a dumb bitch for leaving me. I’m not poor, not ugly, I’m an outstanding father, a good husband and an adequate lover.

We have time together. We have built a life together. My wife isn’t the kind of woman that would throw away everything we’ve built for a fling or for someone other dude.



I say let her visit the ex without you. Give her the best sex you possibly can the day she leaves. And if she comes back to you the same, you know she is yours.

The old proverb; if you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you , it’s yours. If it doesn’t , it never was.

[Nihilist74]

You should probably be honest and straight ask her if that is what she wants. She may not really want the other guy.

[Dr Assbandit]

Had an ex break up with me over WoW >.>

Anyways sounds like OP has a confidence issue. If you're not willing to fix that OP then just break up with her face to face asap. Insecurity dooms relationships and you seem to be insecure in yours

I had an ex break up with me by posting pics with another dude in his bed and posting it on his myspace when that used to be a thing lol.

[d00mGuArD]

What’s the best way to break up with someone without hurting thwm? Someone I’m in love with I have just realised works so much better with their ex who came to visit. The way they interact and get on, as much as I hate it, they could never be like that with me. So free, so open and they get on so well. He ticks all the boxes and the only reason they didn’t work out the first time wa because he wa forced to move out off the country. But won a case recently that allows him back and he is back. They get on so well. My partner is thinking of going to visit him, wants me to come, but I know it’s just courtesy.

This is perhaps time to cut my losses and let them reconnect, I feel like staying isblike standing in nature’s way. Utter 3rd wheel, it sucks, but they do get on so well together. I feel like the one who they settled for because the first choice wasn’t available at the tine. What do I do?

How do I break it up tactfully

You are breaking the first two rules:
First rule: If your partner talks/communicates with an ex, you have to disappear and never talk to her again
Second rule: If your partner talks about an ex, you have to disappear and never talk to her again

[Vargur]

What’s the best way to break up with someone without hurting thwm? Someone I’m in love with I have just realised works so much better with their ex who came to visit. The way they interact and get on, as much as I hate it, they could never be like that with me. So free, so open and they get on so well. He ticks all the boxes and the only reason they didn’t work out the first time wa because he wa forced to move out off the country. But won a case recently that allows him back and he is back. They get on so well. My partner is thinking of going to visit him, wants me to come, but I know it’s just courtesy.

This is perhaps time to cut my losses and let them reconnect, I feel like staying isblike standing in nature’s way. Utter 3rd wheel, it sucks, but they do get on so well together. I feel like the one who they settled for because the first choice wasn’t available at the tine. What do I do?

How do I break it up tactfully

"You deserve someone better"

...therefore inferring he's better than you, not just for her, but overall.

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I had an ex break up with me by posting pics with another dude in his bed and posting it on his myspace when that used to be a thing lol.

Are you a guy, mr. Assbandit?

[tikcol]

Few key things you should know about the situation.

1. They are totally out of my league, it is some stroke of luck I managed to get a 10 interested
2. Says I’m cute, but I think it’s just because they are nice. I’m thinking I’m only around cos I’m the safe and comfortable option.
3. I’m also the nice guy. Like I’m really nice. I just can’t be nasty or a bad boy and chicks always dig the bad boys. The nice guy is never picked by the hot girl as 1st choice and usually the rebound option - I feel like that. and I can help being me. Cant help being sweet and nice. Even tried to change bug couldn’t. I’m not wired to be a prick.
4. I’m totally in love. So much so, I’m willing to let the person go because I know them with their ex would truly make them happy v
5. I’m very new and poor at relationships. My longest has been 4 months. And that was 2 yrs ago. So I don’t know any tricks or ways except honesty from the heart which always seems to cause the break ups

You're not "nice" you're probably a beta male. Beta is the second letter of the Greek calendar for a reason.

[Elim Garak]

She's seeing her ex, while dating you. That's a red flag.

Spend an evening with her, maybe a night, at her place if possible.

Leave. (Or wait till she leaves if at your place)

Wait some time for enough distance and text her that it's over. Don't take her calls and don't respond to her texts for a month. See what happens.

[Aleksej89]

I always prefer a short but clear and honest explanation of why.

None of those awful deceitful self-serving cliche lines that mean nothing and are said in every teen chick flick ever made (its not you, its me etc...).

Stick to the logic and reason, don't go into emotional arguing and trying to measure stuff that can't be measured like feelings.

Use short but precise sentences to explain what you want, lack or find unacceptable in your relationship.

Clear concise reasons and explanations, almost like you are giving feedback about a product that does not work for you.

Any other approach turns into an emotional shitstorm that has no value and only causes more harm.

[Nyeara]

Just be honest, tell her/him how you feel, let them know that you believe it is for the best that they get back together, because you find it inevitable that he/she will cheat on you and get back with him anyway.

[Nerovar]

Send her a link to this thread lol

[Erwarth]

You're not "nice" you're probably a beta male. Beta is the second letter of the Greek calendar for a reason.

Only beta cuck keep going with this "alpha/beta male" bullshit..

... Oh wait

[Celista]

She wants to go visit her ex? your relationship is doomed.

Not necessarily, she might feel that now that she's in a good relationship it's safe to be friendly with the ex; she might feel as though she's moved on. She's being pretty upfront about wanting to visit and even invited the OP along so it could very well be innocent. She might even be trying to show off her new relationship with the OP.

The OP could have asked her why she wanted to go see him + talk about proper boundaries + state that he feels uncomfortable with the idea (since he so clearly is) but since his self-esteem and communication skills are in the toilet he jumped right to the worst case scenario.

[Deleted]

Just be as direct as possible and do not let there be any room for doubt or "hope". For either side.

That's the best way and also prevents it dragging on emotionally.

[Dr Assbandit]

"You deserve someone better"

...therefore inferring he's better than you, not just for her, but overall.

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Are you a guy, mr. Assbandit?

That I am mate.

[Dr Assbandit]

Just be as direct as possible and do not let there be any room for doubt or "hope". For either side.

That's the best way and also prevents it dragging on emotionally.

This is sound advice as far as breakups go.

Better yet OP should actually talk to his gf as an adult. What's the point of being in a relationship when you can't even confide in your significant other about what's troubling you? All I see is that OP got caught in the trap of questioning himself and then going down the spiral of "what if" scenarios.
-----------------
@EnigmAddict, you're just as deserving of love and happiness as your gf, her ex, or anyone else you meet. It's great that you want her to be happy but you giving up on this relationship doesn't seem like it's coming from a place of self-sacrifice, but rather because you don't think you're good enough for her when you haven't even talked it out with her. You're putting way too much emphasis on arbitrary superficial characteristics such as she's a "10" and while physical attraction helps it's just a small part of an actual mature adult relationship. Being a nice guy doesn't mean you have to lose all sense of self-worth and sometimes we are our own worst critics and cannot see our strengths that others can.

I would strongly suggest you sit down with her and just talk to her. Tell her what's bothering you and ask her to afford you the courtesy of being honest with you as well. Relationships are built on communication and understanding, so don't sacrifice your own happiness by getting lost in your own thoughts.

Good luck and wish you all the best.

[xcitng]

Not necessarily, she might feel that now that she's in a good relationship it's safe to be friendly with the ex; she might feel as though she's moved on. She's being pretty upfront about wanting to visit and even invited the OP along so it could very well be innocent. She might even be trying to show off her new relationship with the OP.

The OP could have asked her why she wanted to go see him + talk about proper boundaries + state that he feels uncomfortable with the idea (since he so clearly is) but since his self-esteem and communication skills are in the toilet he jumped right to the worst case scenario.

If she is a mature adult, she wouldn't care what her ex thinks of her currently guy.

OP said they were perfect together and forced apart, which now the situation has changed & as soon as he comes back, shes instantly in contact and talked to him about visiting.... relationship doomed

[Mehrunes]

Fake your death and move to Vanuatu. At least that's what you'll tell your accomplices in case one of them breaks under pressure along the way. Your real destination will be Comoros.

On more serious note, nice to see literacy issues are still strong in this forum. First of all, all the people saying "they broke up for a reason" clearly didn't read the OP. He explicitly stated the reason and that reason is supposedly him being temporarily removed from the country, due to what I assume were some visa issues or the like. Nothing malicious or indicating incompatibility for the phrase "they broke up for a reason" being of any value here. Then there are geniuses who hurr durr about the OP thinking she'll cheat, even though the OP said squat about that. The first reply did, but that's kinda not the same person as OP :O

Even those talking about jealousy are kinda stretching things. Is it really jealousy is you think your partner would be happier with someone else? He's kinda doing the thinking for her here and it may be an indication of a subpar self-esteem but jealousy requires being afraid someone will take your partner away from you. Which thinking that your partner fits more with her ex is not. It at best covers the general situation pertaining to jealousy from a different angle.

That's not to say the you are right OP. First of all, as someone who actually read the bit about her reason to split with her ex already said, she didn't fight for that relationship with long term relationship. Even though the guy was obviously fighting the decision to deport him and there was a possibility of him getting back to the country. Secondly, the part about him ticking all of her boxes sounds like an assumption on your part. Unless she actually said that he was perfect for her while you are not, in which case you should have broken up at that point already, since you'd be dating an asshole.

Same applies to your perception of her meeting up with her ex etc. Even Celista managed a valid point about that in her second post even though most of her contribution in this thread is reading whatever she wants just so she could project and flex her ultra keen psychology skills. I.e. that she's upfront about it. So the idea that he's ticking all of her boxes once again seems to be one-sided. Unless you're in an open relationship without realizing it or something. It's just that, given the fact their break-up was amicable, he ticks some of her boxes. But those boxes could very well be located in the friendship warehouse now.

So don't do the thinking regarding her own feelings for her and talk with her. And don't start with "I think you should be with your ex" and whatnot because that'd be weird. Just tell her how this situation makes you feel.

[Rudkobing]

You could always use the Jaws of Life.

[Dispraise]

Your only solution is to fuck the ex.

[Speaknoevil]

Your only solution is to fuck the ex.

I can really get behind this solution.

And so should you.