What's the dumbest thing you ever done for love?

[Doctor Amadeus]

I would say I took on debt that wasn't mine, I also spent my off time and money to help fix this girl who I was datings POS car, to get the damn thing running like new, only to find out she was cheating on me. It was with a former friend.

The lesson learned is people aren't obligated to be who you expect them to be, no matter what you do.

What's the dumbest thing you ever done for a love?

What was the lesson learned?



Lastly what do you think is marriage or relationships are about becoming one with your spouse and being responsible in anyway for their happiness?

I would say No, I disagree with Will Smiths take.

[Moralgy]

Dumbest thing I did for love? I tried sex, wasn't for me.

[Doctor Amadeus]

Dumbest thing I did for love? I tried sex, wasn't for me.

Wow that's pretty powerful, never met anyone personally who disliked that, but I totally respect your view.

[Natta Lmo]

i have never loved someone

[Shedim]

My wife's dog ran away once when we lived in the mountains. And when we found her there was a coyote close by and when it ran after my wife and her dog I kicked the shit out of it a few times for them to get in the jeep safely. I would 100% do it again if I had to. Not really sure if this counts to your question Op but it is really dumb and I did it because I love my wife and her dog.

[Doctor Amadeus]

My wife's dog ran away once when we lived in the mountains. And when we found her there was a coyote close by and when it ran after my wife and her dog I kicked the shit out of it a few times for them to get in the jeep safely. I would 100% do it again if I had to. Not really sure if this counts to your question Op but it is really dumb and I did it because I love my wife and her dog.

Hahaha I think something can be dumb or stupid, but it can be for the right reasons, I mean you put your life and yourself on the line to protect someone you loved. I think most people could and would.

[Shedim]

Hahaha I think something can be dumb or stupid, but it can be for the right reasons, I mean you put your life and yourself on the line to protect someone you loved. I think most people could and would.

Well the way i saw it, the day we got married I told her I would protect her life with mine if I had to. So i think I lived up to that on that day. I would have even went further if it got to them. So I'm glad my 1v1 against a coyote didn't go further lol.

[Doctor Amadeus]

Well the way i saw it, the day we got married I told her I would protect her life with mine if I had to. So i think I lived up to that on that day. I would have even went further if it got to them. So I'm glad my 1v1 against a coyote didn't go further lol.

Hahaha totally understand, but then again would you have done it if it was a bear, my guess is yes, and You no offense or Me, 1 vs 1 with a bear is a pretty stupid idea.

[3DTyrant]

Well the way i saw it, the day we got married I told her I would protect her life with mine if I had to. So i think I lived up to that on that day. I would have even went further if it got to them. So I'm glad my 1v1 against a coyote didn't go further lol.

Why does that remind me of that video of that Aussie dude who punched a kangaroo? Oh right, kind of a similar situation, I guess. Sorta anyway.

OT: Thus far in my life, the "dumbest" thing I've done "for love" would possibly pretend to love someone just so their happy? It did not last very long at all if I'm utterly honest. Not too sure if that qualifies or not, but yeah...

[Celista]

The stupidest thing I have done is stay in relationships where I was unhappy for far too long. People show you their true colors in the first 1-2 years of dating and probably about 75% of who they are in the first few months, you can be into a person completely but still the relationship can be unhealthy for you in a lot of ways. I have never stayed around wanting a person to change who they are but I have stayed around far too long hoping the relationship itself would change but like personalities relationship behaviors are pretty hard-wired. Things aren't likely to get significantly better if you're unhappy but good relationships can improve slowly over time.

I guess in sum:

1. Loving someone is not enough for a good relationship
2. Habits/attachment behaviors are typically ingrained and are not likely to change over time
3. You can accept a person for who they are but that does not mean you need to accept the quality of the relationship
4. If you notice a pattern in your relationships then consider that you might be the reason why that pattern exists, and if you want change then you're going to need to some work on yourself.

Probably more but I guess those are the lessons I have learned. Not super profound but shrug.

[Torrasque]

I sacrificed my college and career paths for love. It was dumb, but it was extraordinarily rewarding. It set me back nearly an entire decade foraging a loving relationship with a wonderful woman, budding with mystique and beauty in mind, body, and soul. I learned much of not only the human condition, personal responsibility, and the meaning of sharing your life with someone that you love. She was a woman with one of the hardest lives that I could comprehend, she had a lot of baggage, but I'm a determined guy, and I worked with her to aid her in overcoming many of the obstacles in both our lives, though mainly hers. She was a woman who was nearly completely unaware of happiness being possible when we met. She was so self-sacrificed into her role as a mother that she had forgone her own desires for decades. Looking into her eyes, you could see the woman inside her silently screaming for release from the bonds of her own trapping life, most of which, I learned was forced upon her by a wide variety of leeching people.

However, what Will Smith said is mostly true. You cannot force someone to be happy. You can, however, provide them with opportunities to seek happiness or simply let them learn how to accept happiness into their heart. In the case of my relationship, my wife needed someone there that was trustworthy, respectful, and willing to help her through her painful existence in reaching towards something tangible that she could grasp for a sense of happiness in herself. After a long and grueling journey, I feel that by the end, she managed to admit that she was finally happy.

For me, I can cherish the fact that I am mostly responsible for aiding her in attaining even a small dose of happiness that she deserved far more than most people should. However, she was the one that grasped it, I only can take credit for leading her to it.

[Independent voter]

This girl I really liked lived in the neighborhood so I asked her out. I walked into her house, her sister in law was breast feeding but I didn't think anything of it and asked her out. She said no. Later I heard that she thought it was a little creepy for me to ask her out as her sister in law was breast feeding.

Kid's got to eat, right?

[plagueshard801]

Got married. What an awful fucking idea that was.

[Zafire]

I have only "loved" three people in my life, two of which were in my days of emotional immaturity....Hmmm.

Probably quit talking to all my friends in high school to make my relationship with her better. She was a mega-crazy possessive bitch. She also turned out to be a lesbian who didn't come out of the closet yet, so I never got anything out of my relationship with her either. Got some cuddles and burnt self-esteem, I guess?

Lastly what do you think is marriage or relationships are about becoming one with your spouse and being responsible in anyway for their happiness?

Somewhat. If my girlfriend never wanted to give me any I'd be pretty fucking unhappy.

[Celista]

Slept with a girl while her gun toting husband was in the next room. She divorced him, bailed on me, and found narcotics.

Like a modern-day Romeo and Juliet.

[Doctor Amadeus]

The stupidest thing I have done is stay in relationships where I was unhappy for far too long. People show you their true colors in the first 1-2 years of dating and probably about 75% of who they are in the first few months, you can be into a person completely but still the relationship can be unhealthy for you in a lot of ways. I have never stayed around wanting a person to change who they are but I have stayed around far too long hoping the relationship itself would change but like personalities relationship behaviors are pretty hard-wired. Things aren't likely to get significantly better if you're unhappy but good relationships can improve slowly over time.

I guess in sum:

1. Loving someone is not enough for a good relationship
2. Habits/attachment behaviors are typically ingrained and are not likely to change over time
3. You can accept a person for who they are but that does not mean you need to accept the quality of the relationship
4. If you notice a pattern in your relationships then consider that you might be the reason why that pattern exists, and if you want change then you're going to need to some work on yourself.

Probably more but I guess those are the lessons I have learned. Not super profound but shrug.

Yeah, I hear you on that and agree, except my problem is 99% of what I learn of anyone in the first 1 or 2 minutes makes up 75% of who they are. If I dislike someone I dislike someone, if I hate someone I hate them, It has never changed.

The same is true for liking or loving someone, but love takes longer and requires trust not just respect.

- - - Updated - - -

I sacrificed my college and career paths for love. It was dumb, but it was extraordinarily rewarding. It set me back nearly an entire decade foraging a loving relationship with a wonderful woman, budding with mystique and beauty in mind, body, and soul. I learned much of not only the human condition, personal responsibility, and the meaning of sharing your life with someone that you love. She was a woman with one of the hardest lives that I could comprehend, she had a lot of baggage, but I'm a determined guy, and I worked with her to aid her in overcoming many of the obstacles in both our lives, though mainly hers. She was a woman who was nearly completely unaware of happiness being possible when we met. She was so self-sacrificed into her role as a mother that she had forgone her own desires for decades. Looking into her eyes, you could see the woman inside her silently screaming for release from the bonds of her own trapping life, most of which, I learned was forced upon her by a wide variety of leeching people.

However, what Will Smith said is mostly true. You cannot force someone to be happy. You can, however, provide them with opportunities to seek happiness or simply let them learn how to accept happiness into their heart. In the case of my relationship, my wife needed someone there that was trustworthy, respectful, and willing to help her through her painful existence in reaching towards something tangible that she could grasp for a sense of happiness in herself. After a long and grueling journey, I feel that by the end, she managed to admit that she was finally happy.

For me, I can cherish the fact that I am mostly responsible for aiding her in attaining even a small dose of happiness that she deserved far more than most people should. However, she was the one that grasped it, I only can take credit for leading her to it.

Yeah I can see what you mean coming from that perspective, I think my example pales in comparison to yours in over all experience, I could see myself doing that though when I was younger, but I can for sure appreciate the wisdom shared.

As for Will Smith I would say I still disagree, but I see what you mean, maybe, I haven't loved as deep as I thought I did when I was younger.

- - - Updated - - -

This girl I really liked lived in the neighborhood so I asked her out. I walked into her house, her sister in law was breast feeding but I didn't think anything of it and asked her out. She said no. Later I heard that she thought it was a little creepy for me to ask her out as her sister in law was breast feeding.

Kid's got to eat, right?

LMFAO HAHAHAHAHAHA No offense but WTF hahahahaaahaha! That is just weird, sounds like you were just being pretty chill, I can totally understand why you did what you did.

[Mistame]

What's the dumbest thing you ever done for a love?

Got married.

What was the lesson learned?

Marriage isn't for me.

I would say No, I disagree with Will Smiths take.

Except that he's exactly right. People over-romanticize love, relationships, etc, and set themselves up for disappointment. You can absolutely do things to show how you feel and make a conscious effort in regards to the relationship, but how the other person receives it is entirely up to them. While you can absolutely make someone unhappy, you've no more control over their happiness than you do their bowel movements.

[ls-]

Getting married was prob the dumbest thing I did.

As for less dumb, but a bit weirder stuff. I dated a girl who occasionally had sex w/ her Great Dane. But because I loved her I asked her not to fuck the dog if we're going to be together that day, she agreed, she actually stopped even before I asked her because she felt that it's akin to cheating >_> We broke up because I had to move to another city. Eventually, the dog was killed by her father after he found out what's going on.

[Natta Lmo]

Getting married was prob the dumbest thing I did.

As for less dumb, but a bit weirder stuff. I dated a girl who occasionally had sex w/ her Great Dane. But because I loved her I asked her not to fuck the dog if we're going to be together that day, she agreed, she actually stopped even before I asked her because she felt that it's akin to cheating >_> We broke up was because I had to move to another city. Eventually, the dog was killed by her father after he found out what's going on.

wtf? where do u find these people?

[ls-]

wtf? where do u find these people?

I met her at my uni, that's back in the day when I was a student.