1. #1

    Inspire me guys! [Story-Related Question]

    Hey guys, hope I'm not treading on the wrong forum here but I need help from those who have the utmost interest in Warcraft's lore and I think that's going to be best recceived here If a Mod feels I'm in the wrong place please boot me to another forum.

    Bit of back story: Since reading the Shattering I've absolutely loved the character of Anduin Wrynn, I've always been a total Horde fanatic and for the first time since Of Blood and Honor I found myself admiring an Alliance character. I was hoping to see more of him in the latest book but it seems that until the new Varian book is released I'll have to make do with the Alliance Traitor quest chain pre-Twilight Highlands for my fix of character development. To satiate this interest but until then I started work on a new story about the young Prince but after shaping a story outline I found myself losing the ability to motivate myself, a classic case of "what's the point" syndrome.

    The story outline is quite long so I'll brief it here but suffice to say it wouldn't be short enough to count as one of the racial leader stories. I can easily see myself getting 20,000 words out of this at least. Here's the brief:

    A year after the events of The Shattering, Azeroth is in turmoil and Prince Anduin Wrynn is being kept close to his father within the relative safety of Stormwind City and more than ever before he feels he's being treated like a helpless child that's kept on a leash. In a rare act of teenage rebellion, Anduin steals the Hearthstone giften to him by Jaina Proudmoore so that he can escape the confines of the city without a regiment of guards watching his every move.

    Whilst in Theramore, Anduin visits a small chapel and learns a few lessons about the Holy Light and begins to start questioning the nature of the mysterious, omni-present force. After discussing matters with Jaina, they return to the Prince's anxious father who feared Anduin's capture by cultists operating within the city and the King is convinced, though not without heated debate, that Stormwind is no safer than anywhere else in the turbulent world and that keeping Anduin under lockdown is only harming him by inhibiting his ability to reach out to his people; not just humans but those of all the races that comprise the Alliance.

    Anduin is allowed to embark upon a diplomatic journey to Kalimdor on behalf of his father to demonstrate to those of the Alliance there that, despite their distance from the capitals of Alliance activity, all those who would ally themselves with the King of Stormwind are valued by him as friends and will always have his support.

    We follow Anduin on his quest to explore cultures that are strange and foreign to him as he grows not only as future leader of the Alliance but as a follower of the Holy Light. Anduin faces great difficulty reaching the distant island home of the Draenei and the kingdom built amongst the boughs of the great tree known as Teldrassil where the Night Elves make their homes, he must transverse lands dominated by a strong Horde presence and must rely on old friendships to see him safely to his destinations, learning on his way that even though it is often seen in a different light the same concept has been harnessed by cultures within the Horde as well as the Alliance and that some things are larger than mortal issues such as war between factions that seem so pervasive in his world and it is this force and his friends that Anduin will have to rely upon to keep him safe from dark powers that would seek to end the royal line and unleash chaos upon the Kingdom of Stormwind.
    Here's what I need from you guys. I need you to convince me that this is worth putting time into, simply put I need your opinions and feedback on what you've heard. I'm ashamed to admit I need a bit of an ego boost to convince me that this isn't an awful idea for a story. Does what I've outlined sound... "realistic" within the Warcraft world. This is my first ever serious attempt at writing something and right now I feel very arrogant, taking a story about such important characters and presuming that I have any say over them xD

    Please tell me if you're interested or not and I'm more than ready to embrace some community feedback. I know I haven't given you much to go by and I'm working on a prologue chapter now but it's mostly just a big Varian recap because focusing on some key aspects of his personality will be very important when I need to contrast them to important parts of Anduin's personality.

    I appreciate any help!

  2. #2
    Role-player Nonfictionless's Avatar
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    Usually characters like this are frowned upon but seeing as it is a story I don't think anyone will object. Personally though I think this is a great idea for a story and can't wait to read it.

    As for help I would suggest looking here: Other Roleplaying Threads
    It contains some other stories and helpful posts for creating your own characters and a very long questions post that really helps me with forming my characters.
    Last edited by Nonfictionless; 2011-08-02 at 11:22 PM.

  3. #3
    Rain beat down upon the arched windows ledge of Prince Anduin Wrynn’s chamber windows. “Miserable weather for a miserable mood” he remarked quietly to himself. He didn’t much mind a spell of bad weather since his world had been torn asunder. Indeed, compared to entire islands being submerged in the oceans, volcanoes forming only to begin violently erupting and a dragon tearing a charred scar in the earth that stretched across two whole continents that were an ocean apart, a light drizzle of rain seemed like the best thing that could happen today.

    Still though, even in the face of a Cataclysm, Azeroth would never surrender, never cease to move. As long as life remained to drive the world forward it would never stop. As the son of King Varian Wrynn, Anduin knew this well. King Varian Wrynn: The Leader of the Kingdom of Stormwind; the largest of the Human Kingdoms that remained. King Varian Wrynn: The leader of an Alliance of what had grown to encompass the kingdoms of seven races. Varian Wrynn: The warrior who was as ferocious, strong and wild as a wolf and yet as cunning, smart and stubborn as the wiliest of foxes. Indeed, Anduin knew his father was a leader of true honour and great man. He knew he was great and yet sometimes so deeply, deeply flawed.

    He could never blame his father. By Anduin’s age Varian had lost his parents - and perhaps worse his kingdom - to the corrupted Orcish Horde in the First War. He was forced to flee to the now fallen Human kingdom of Lordaeron where he’d befriended Prince Arthas Menethil who would go on to murder the entire Kingdom when he was corrupted into the Lich King – a foul leader to a despicable army of stolen souls risen up to fight as his undead Scourge. He had been able to rebuild his kingdom from ruins, only for the House of Nobles, the people he’d allowed to control the Kingdom whilst he fought for his people in battle, to incite rioting amongst those they’d enlisted to rebuild the broken city of Stormwind which in turn cost him the life of his beloved wife Tiffin leaving him to raise Anduin alone. Then just a few years ago, whilst on a diplomatic mission to the distant Human city of Theramore, he had been abducted and held captive as control of his Kingdom was taken by a royal advisor who, as part of a sinister conspiracy, had been the one to arrange for his capture.

    Eventually, Varian had escaped his captors only to fall into the hands of new ones, washing up on enemy shores with no memory of his past or his identity as king. He was taken in by an Orc and enslaved as a gladiator, he had fought and won many times and came to be known as Lo’Gosh, named for an ancient wolf of legends known for its ferocity, will and tenacity in the face of death. In the gladiatorial battles he had befriended some unlikely allies with whom he had managed to escape. Slowly Varian had been able to regain his memory in fragments until finally he was able to return to his home city only to find another Varian Wrynn with a personality more arrogant and less honourable than Lo’Gosh was already ruling as king whilst secretly being manipulated by the same royal advisor responsible for his abduction. He was taken captive by his own royal guards and almost put to execution when the other Varian had saved him at the last moment over ruling the noble and revealing her true identity: the evil and manipulative black dragon Onyxia. The dragon was eventually overcome and the two halves of Varian’s personality had been rebound, albeit somewhat imperfectly causing Varian to often succumb to the flaws of both the charming but arrogant Varian and the fierce but unforgiving Lo’Gosh.

    Soon after retaking his throne Varian was forced to take a war to the dead and bitter icy continent of Northrend where his childhood friend, turned traitorous monster, had made his home. Thousands upon thousands, almost an entire generation of Horde and Alliance soldiers, had lost their lives in that war. In one particularly deathly battle the Horde and Alliance, who had until then been cooperating to overcome the Lich King, had both been betrayed by a group operating from within the Horde called the Apothecary who unleashed a deadly plague killing hundreds of Horde, Scourge and Alliance soldier. Varian had lost a close friend, Highlord Bolvar Fordragon who had acted as a father to Anduin in Varian's absence and Varian saw this a deeply dishonourable act of betrayal from the Horde at worst and weak leadership over fundamentally honourless people at best. By the end of the war the Horde and Alliance both needed time to recover; resources had began to dwindle inciting much fighting for mere survival but more than anything their people had desperately needed time to mourn their losses. Fate would not see them a reprise.

    Just under a year ago, the Dwarves of the Bronzebeard Clan who made their home in the mountain city of Ironforge to the north of Stormwind; who had long been the dearest and stoic of allies to the king and his people were beset by great tragedy and political upheaval. In the months leading up the Cataclysm the region had suffered from increasingly severe earthquakes and King Magni Bronzebeard, who had been a good and compassionate leader to his people for many years, had attempted to make communion with the spirits of the earth only for them to “return him to them”, a gift which meant his entire body was turned to tragically beautiful diamond granting opportunity for his long-absent daughter Moira to return and forcefully seize the throne which was rightfully hers. Moira had fallen in love with the Emperor of their enemies of the Bronzebeard Clan the Dark Iron Clan and by him had birthed a son that she hoped would someday grow to have rightful dominion over both clans and thus finally bringing peace between the two Clans. Whilst her intentions sounded noble, Moira’s return was far from gracious. Expecting outrage and defiance from the people of Ironforge she took the city hostage, restricting any contact with the outside world and imprisoning anyone who either dared defy her or did not deem worthy to be a part of her new order, including most of the Gnomes that had made a home for themselves alongside the Dwarves. Anduin had been staying within the city at the time and Varian lead a bloody coup to rescue his son, seeking to end Moira’s reign with the edge of his blade. He had almost done so but Anduin had asked that he stop to take a diplomatic solution instead and Varian was able to overcome his animalistic nature bought out by his fear for his son’s safety and had ordered Moira to create a council which united all three of the Dwarven clans under a single banner within Ironforge. This had been a great point of pride for Anduin.

    Then there was the Cataclysm. Deathwing the Destroyer, an maddened black dragon over 10,000 years old who had once been a force of goodness, charged with a god-like protection of Azeroth and the elemental forces that bound it, had violently burst forth from within the planet seeking total annihilation of the world and putting great strain on all life on Azeroth causing much chaos. And when chaos arose, fighting would soon follow.

    The Horde had seen the rise of a new leader, Garrosh Hellscream, a hot head who was as ignorant as he was arrogant and self-righteous. Garrosh had been passed the mantle of Warchief by his predecessor Thrall, a leader of, in Anduin’s eyes, unparalleled dignity and wisdom who had chosen to abdicate so that he could join other great Shaman in their attempts to rescue Azeroth from further damage by contacting the spirits of the elements so that they might restore calm amongst them. Garrosh had been a respectable warlord in Northrend, as was known by the Alliance as well as the Horde, but in the wake of the Cataclysm he had found it difficult to resist falling into the temptation to simply take what his people had needed regardless of how many Alliance he had to go through to get to it. Garrosh had the mighty war machine that was the Horde at his command and he was eager to use it. Whilst Anduin had no love for Garrosh and damned him for every man and woman amongst his people that fell at his orders Anduin knew - though he would never dare to voice such an opinion - that it was because Varian and Garrosh were so similar that they were destined to do nothing but entirely despise one another until both passed into the afterlife and most likely beyond then. They were forces to be reckoned with and they were opposed on a primal level, ready to charge at every opportunity. Sometimes Anduin felt his father was just as responsible for the fighting as Garrosh, Anduin knew there were those within the Horde who were truly good and honourable and always felt that more could be done to stem the flow of blood on both sides. He knew any time spent not doing more harm to one another was time spent healing and he knew there were certainly those who wanted, more than anything, to heal.

    During a brief escape from Moira’s captivity Anduin had met a Tauren: Baine Bloodhoof. Baine’s father had been Cairne Bloodhoof, a great Tauren leader who had united the many tribes of the formerly nomadic Tauren and aligned himself and his people with Thrall and the Horde he had bought to the shores of Kalimdor seeking to build a home far from the reach of human adversity. Cairne had strongly opposed Garrosh’s choices and ultimately it cost him his life in a duel to the death to determine who would have control of the Horde. Garrosh had dealt the killing blow but it was only because he was betrayed from within his own ranks that Cairne was left unable to defend himself against an opponent whom he would’ve otherwise been able to hold at least at an equal level. Following his father’s demise, the Grimtotem tribe who’d long been plotting to take over the Tauren people took siege of their capital of Thunder Bluff and tried to have Baine executed, forcing him into exile where he was given refuge by the same person who had given it to Anduin. When he’d spoken to Baine, Anduin had felt a great deal of empathy toward the Tauren. Baine’s story was, after all, so similar to that of Anduin’s and his fathers. Like Varian, Baine had lost his family and his kingdom to less than honourable means. Like Anduin, Baine had a great legacy to live up to, he wanted to honour his father above all else and carry on his legacy by doing what was best for his people. Baine might have wanted to charge recklessly into a confrontation with his the crone who had betrayed and lead to the murder of his father but that would’ve seen him killed pointlessly and the Tauren people bereft of the last person that might stand for their freedom. Baine may have felt compelled to challenge Garrosh and avenge his father but that would’ve caused only more conflict within the Horde. Baine put the needs of his people above all else so that there could be time to heal. Baine was above petty vengeance. Anduin had a great deal of respect for anyone who could do that in the face of such pain.

    When his father had restored order within the Dwarf capital of Ironforge there had been a brief respite in their disagreements. Anduin felt much pride in his father and his father had been receptive of that but as Garrosh had pressed harder Varian found it difficult and then impossible not to fight back and he did so with renewed vigour. Varian sought vengeance and retribution, he sought reparations from the Horde, he sought battle and victory over diplomacy and equality, even if it cost his people more precious lives and for this reason Anduin had found himself often at odds with his father. It had driven a wedge between them and it was for this reason that Anduin felt that today the weather was quite appropriate as he prepared to return to the dinner hall and start it all over again.

    Anduin sat up in his bed and looked out over the city he would someday, hopefully very far from now, rule over. Rain was running off the gutters of the guard tower overlooking the entrance of the keep forming a large puddle at its doorway “Someone’s going to trip and get very wet in a minute” he silently anticipated as the door opened and a group of guards set out on horseback for their hourly patrol. He breathed deep, looking away from the windows and towards a large portrait of his mother mounted on his wall and pondered all that had happened and all that he knew and sighed deeply. He did not know whether he would ever be able to lead his people and for all of his faults Anduin knew his father did this well and none in the city save for criminals and cultists would ever say otherwise. He could only wonder if perhaps he was simply youthfully naive to hope that someday all the races of both the Horde and Alliance could put aside their differences so that they could heal and grow. Anduin Wrynn knows his father is a great man, yet Anduin still felt that the weather was most appropriate.
    Okay here's the first chapter, as you can see it's mostly backstory that everyone knows with a preface to the start of the book at the end. I need feedback on if my writing style is okay. My biggest concern is that it runs on too much. Better authors than myself can weave this sort of recap of past material in much more smoothly with some mundane "present day" activities but I couldn't figure out how to do that.

  4. #4
    The Lightbringer trulte's Avatar
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    I liked it and i see nothing wrong in the writing style, though i did find it a bit tiresome to read through the whole recap felt a bit long, but i suppose it is good for those who does not know it. I'm not sure, but i myself would probably try to spread it out a bit and not have the whole recap right after one and another or try to shorten it a little, of course I'm no good author myself and probably no the best to tell you this, but i do like the premise of this story so keep it up

    Another thing i like to point out is that i felt at the beginning when you state King Varian Wrynn right after one and another in such a short time span felt a bit weird, at least to me. Anyway hope you will continue with this story

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by trulte View Post
    I liked it and i see nothing wrong in the writing style, though i did find it a bit tiresome to read through the whole recap felt a bit long, but i suppose it is good for those who does not know it. I'm not sure, but i myself would probably try to spread it out a bit and not have the whole recap right after one and another or try to shorten it a little, of course I'm no good author myself and probably no the best to tell you this, but i do like the premise of this story so keep it up

    Another thing i like to point out is that i felt at the beginning when you state King Varian Wrynn right after one and another in such a short time span felt a bit weird, at least to me. Anyway hope you will continue with this story
    I was thinking this every single moment as I wrote it! Hah! I guess my gut was right, although I personally hate it when they cut aside from action or drama to go back to a recap, I know it's an easy way to pad things but once I start telling a story I like to keep within the bounds of that story. I only had a few more important bits of past info that I felt were important to the story (Anduins trip to Ironforge for example) and I figured I could work that in later when it became relevent. I really wanted to set the scene for the reader in regards to Varian and his personality and more importantly WHY he and Anduin differ so greatly.

    Unfortunately I'm not sure if I'll be able to work on this for a few weeks, just enrolled in a C++ Summer Class and it's very time consuming

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