Not sure what you mean about Governments intruding in people's lives. It doesn't in the EU, nor does it in Germany. What they do is implement common standards, because that makes sense. I wouldn't know why you would wish a power plug that's exactly 5x5cm, in pink and has a prime number of contacts, but good luck finding a hole in the wall for that. See, it is a stupid example, but it illustrates why standardisation makes sense. It's absolutely reasonable to have someone set a common standard so your architect knows what plumbing you need, so your builders know which plumbing to install and you to know which appliances to buy, because they're all compatible with the installed plumbing.
Again, just an example. Germany and the EU affect our daily lives a lot. There is no contention in that. Brexit is the best example of just how deep Government penetrates us as we go about our daily lives. But so far all I see is outlier episodes where that was objectively negative. I don't want to go into everything you mention, because that would blow this post out of proportion. But while I do have a healthy amount of scepticism, I keep coming back to the same decision that what the Government does, both Berlin and Brussels, is - generally speaking - a net positive for everyone. By a wide margin, too. Do I want to pay extra tax in Germany simply because I live in the West? No, I don't. But I acknowledge that we have made a promise to the East Germans to take care of them when we reunited. And that's an obligation that I'm willing to pay for. We have to make up for 40 years of communist mismanagement. Paying a few extra Euros a month for 20 years, it's a lot of change, but it's also not going to kill me.
About human rights, they do conflict with each other all the time. I don't see a reason to beat about the bush on that one. Everyone who understands how society works is aware of it. And we're okay with it, too. These conflicts are usually mundane and minor and can be overcome with common courtesy. In fact, I argue that 99% of human right infringements are of such nature. As for the rest, the criminal code and if nothing else, the constitutional court takes care of that.
The EU and its member states don't follow the UN human right charta. And From what you say, I would have to politely suggest that you read up on what free expression (aka, free speech) is about. I can help you with that, but you're on the wrong track here.
Violations that don't violate my human rights have to be dealt with politically. Basically, what you're saying is if I don't agree with a certain law. Simple disagreement. They like trash bins to be green, I want them to be red. The remedy for that is either for me to point out that green trash bins are a safety hazard because they blend in with our wonderfully green city, or I have to get political and get someone to suggest such a law change on my behalf, influence enough people to get it changed... support the people with my vote if they change the bin to be red or basiclaly just go into politics myself and try to convince enough people that red bins are worth putting me on the council for. If that doesn't happen, if I can achieve none of that, then I guess trash bins will continue to be green and beyond my hurt feelings, nothing will affect me overly much.
I don't care if it's Brussels or Berlin making the changes, btw. As far as I'm concerned, I am a European citizen. Brussels is as much my "Capital" aka, place where law comes from, as is Berlin. No, again this has nothing to do with guilt or me despising my own nation. Quite the opposite, we're part of the strongest economic bloc on the planet, people listen to us instead of ignoring us, because we're evil Germany. For once in the past 100 years, we're the good guys. Yeah, let's keep that going, feels bloody awesome.
Well, there are legit arguments for leaving the EU. One of which would be "cos I wanna", which IMO is absolutely a valid argument and pretty undefeatable. I wouldn't take it into account for any decision, but it's valid. However, I have asked for 800 odd pages for people to give me an actual argument, intelligent, sensible, reasonable, with sources to support their case... to not simply remain in the EU. I'm still waiting. If you feel adventurous, you could be the first. Fair warning, though, I will tear it apart mercilessly, because if there's something I hate, it's bullshit arguments ripped from blogshitpages. You wouldn't believe how many times people copy arguments from websites verbatim and those arguments are based on outdated circumstances. Just look at the copyright directive thread. They're arguing against a state of the directive that was one year ago. After which they have made massive changes to the directive, directly addressing the same exact concerns they bring up again now to hate on a directive they clearly haven't read.
About the EU's perspective... The premisse here is that the EU is viewing this as a legal process. There is no actual negotiation to be done, because the context is well defined. UK is in, UK will be out. Anything between that is really just the dissolution of existing relationships and making sure people don't literally die in the process. As lawyers usually tend to do, the EU is super pragmatic about all of this. They say, this is our procedure, this is the schedule that we suggest, this is the timeline and these are the things we cannot possibly change. One of those things, incidentally, is the four freedoms in the single market. Why? Because if they gave up on that, the EU might as well dissolve. The single market depends on those four freedoms, without them all in tact, in one group together and depending on each other, there is no single market. The four freedoms are what make the single market the single market.
Now, if you don't agree that's fine. What's important is that the EU believes this to be a legal fact. And they act upon it. Along comes the UK and says "Yeah, we'd like this one freedom, not the other ones they don't tickle our fancy." and the EU goes "Eh, nope." The UK goes "Pretty please?" and the EU goes "Uh, still no." and this goes on for a dozen times or so. Tell me, how do you tell "bitterness" from someone that's simply not moving from their core belief?
What you see here, on this forum, is individual citizens expressing their frustration. I'm one of those and have said a lot of things that shouldn't be taken too seriously. However, that isn't the official stance of the EU. It can't be. If it was, I'd tell Brussels to grow the fuck up and act like adults. It's enough that I'm pissed, I don't pay politicians to be pissed for me. And we need a good relationship with the UK for two reasons: 1. I'm fairly certain they'll come back eventually... that won't happen if we turn them into mortal enemies forever. 2. Whether we like it or not, the UK is at our coast. Will always be. And my personal reason 3. The UK is family. They may hate that idea, but they are. They'll always be. And as is normal in families, there's sometimes arguments that shouldn't be had, harsh words and perhaps even a year of silence or so. But in the end, family is family. They will be back. Our ties are way, way too strong and deep. Think of the ties they constantly implore to the US. Well, they're there. But if the UK and the US are cousins, then we're brothers. You may like the cousin more, but your brother is the one that whacked you on the head when you were little. There are things that a baby nation like the US can't have. Two thousand years of shared history is one of them.
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Btw, finally... the House of Lords. I was curious about procedural differences.
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See, I think that's one of the big fallacies of the British side. The possibility of the EU crumbling is based on the silly notion that the EU is a community of convenience. That doesn't quite hit the mark for me. You'll have to look up Zweckgemeinschaft. I get the feeling that the British think the EU is a club of elderly gentlemen coming together to basically rip everyone else on this planet off and make vast amounts of money in the process.
That couldn't be further from the truth. But if you assume that to be the case, then naturally, such a club would dissolve the second the profits don't outweigh the investments. That's the British point of view. Yes, it's just as despicable as it sounds, greedy, egoist. But that's the only reasonable explanation for people like Dribs to even exist.
Why is it wrong? Because in the EU, profit is not the main goal. Peace is the main goal. Profit and trade is really the carrot, not the donkey itself. As long as the British don't realise that the EU can't break apart, because it's an ideological partnership that would actually rather lose money than risk peace, even a little bit (as seen in Greece), they will not understand the EU and should not be in the EU. A clash like this had to happen at some point, hindsight tells me. This was inevitable. This process is ugly, dirty and pisses everyone off, but in the long run, it's the healthy process of removing an obstructionist force to this idea.
And yes, I am appallled and surprised at the British viewpoint. Just 5 years ago I'd have thought them to be one of the first to defend Europe. It's shocking what we're learning about what the British really think about the outside world. Absolutely shocking. The contempt some of them have for other nations... disgraceful. Not at all how British want to be seen.