I find the incel community fascinating, because it's interesting to see what a lack of human response, and total social isolation does to the mind.
One false claim I often see is "they can't find a girlfriend because they are hateful misogynists". However, I don't believe that it's that simple, and I'll bring in some personal experiences.
The theory that it's SOLELY because of their hateful personality is based around the theory that they started out hateful. That they've "always been like that". The truth is that it's far from often the case. It's gradual social isolation.
I could've easily have become an incel. Want to know why?
I have Aspergers, which is a social hinderance in the way that I don't read body language and social cues anywhere near as good as neurotypicals, aka "normal people".
In elementary school, when I was between 13-15 (so 7th, up to 9th grade), I was bullied, because I was special and shy.
I had one friend, but the fact of the matter was that most boys bullied me relentlessly, girls looked disgusted when I wanted to initiate some kind of conversation with them and worst of all, I loved to chat online, so I was trying to hit on girls that way, people straight up told me I look like a sack of shit (luckily I got better in the looks department, from like a 2 to a 6, so nowadays I'm average).
The absolute worst thing a girl did to me was when we had dance practice in P.E, and the teacher assigned pairs. The girl I was assigned looked like she was about to throw up, talked to her friend and they excused themselves to the bathroom while laughing, never to return. I felt absolutely devastated.
I was so sad, and felt isolated from my peers. I saw them have big friend circles, make out with girls and I wondered why I couldn't get the same.
I wasn't hating on people, but I started to play WoW and isolate myself even more in high school, and I started to change my emotional state from plain "I'm sad" to somewhat bitter. Still not hateful, but it was more like "I'm useless, I'm ugly, people are so superstitous" etc.
Luckily, what DID pull me out of it was meeting a new friend. he was by no means a social king, but he still had a good enough social life he invited me to become a part of. Suddenly, I wasn't rotting away in my room, but instead I started to hang out on barbeque nights by the coast, going to pubs, actually get some positive responses from girls (I guess this is where my looks started to improve) and I finally lost my virginity at around 20-21.
My life is fine nowadays. I have enough friends, and I've had a few relationships and one night stands.
The point is, anyway, that I managed to sort out my life because one person literally saved me. If he didn't appear, I may just as well have become an incel and started to spew shit on incels.co I didn't start hateful, but total, social isolation DOES do toxic things to your mind, and unless someone saves you from it, things can take a turn for the worst and you dig yourself into a hole you yourself can't get out of without help.
I don't think incels deserve as much hate as they get right now, because more often than not there is an extremely sad story of bullying and social isolation of a person who didn't start hateful but who turned to the dark side, because years of social torment finally did it's toll.
Incels don't need to be vilified, they need all the help and sympathy they can get. But it's easy to be hateful, because people haven't been as balls-deep isolated and shunned socially, for as long as they have, so they simply don't understand, and what people don't understand they fear, and what people fear they hate. They need mental care, not to be shunned further.