1. Nobody forces you to be in that raid. If you don't want to do as told by your RL then you are welcome to make your own raid with your own rules.
2. Some people find it fun to be as good as possible. I know this is alien for people like you who take pride in not being good.
Just remember that there are many definitions of fun.
So what can you do? Find like-minded people and play with them. Anything else is a waste of your time and energy.