Depressed after 20th birthday

[Deleted]

Hi there, im 19, first year of university and I know how u feel. In my case, first i felt routine and sometimes (mostly on sundays) nostalgia, just like you. But i don't let these memories and stuff take over the place, because life goes on and you will eventually. Try to make new friends, they always help me and with them i feel like in home again.

[Fat Mac]

when i was 20 i felt old and thought i knew everything , now that im 38 i would like to go slap the shit out of the 20 year old me

[Grummgug]

when i was 20 i felt old and thought i knew everything , now that im 38 i would like to go slap the shit out of the 20 year old me

That's typical of youth. Young people are noticeably more impatient and arrogant than older people. Probably watching their body fall apart and dreams unrealized destroys their massive ego. But it also makes them better people.

I've also found the more inteligent someone is, the less confident they are. You don't see college professors fist-bump and beating their chests... But you see it most among people in dead-end jobs with little education. Part of being smart is knowing how much you don't know.

[phenix]

Or it doesn't.... but either way 20 is WAY too early to tell.

It doesn't get better, it doesn't get worse.....it gets the way you want it too. Live the life you want to live. Just because your parents act they way they do or just because someone tells you their life story wont change ANYTHING. The perception of an event only affects you as much as you let it.


Your folks are 40 years older then you...twice your age...the equivalent of two of your lifetime more then you've currently experienced. Still feel old?

[drwelfare]

That's typical of youth. Young people are noticeably more impatient and arrogant than older people. Probably watching their body fall apart and dreams unrealized destroys their massive ego. But it also makes them better people.

I've also found the more inteligent someone is, the less confident they are. You don't see college professors fist-bump and beating their chests... But you see it most among people in dead-end jobs with little education. Part of being smart is knowing how much you don't know.

There is also that point where you regret all the stupid things you bought. Then the point where you can't find things you really want, gizmos just dont have the appeal anymore. I got asked what I was shopping for this year, I said a good chisel and a portable bandsaw.

[Deleted]

when i was 20 i felt old and thought i knew everything , now that im 38 i would like to go slap the shit out of the 20 year old me

There seems to be the opposite trend in my family. I was never ashamed of my parent's because they looked young even in their 50s and very active and youthful and they looks 40ish even now.. but they really let themselves go and are getting fat and lazy, forgetting family traditions and just sitting around watching TV and playing Facebook games and complaining all day.

I actually don't feel old as in "I know everyhing" either. I just feel old as in Im already a grown-up but don't feel that way at all.

[bloodkin]

i'll be honest, i had that feeling too for about half a year when i turned 19 or so. at first it's indeed not very fun of thinking of yourself as an adult with far more responsibilities, but after some time i realized that it didn't change much, and that i had no actual choice in the matter anyway, you will get older and you have to eventually take care of yourself. Just wait and see, it may take some more time, or less, but eventually you will grow into it. For me, it didn't get easier, but i learned to accept and go with it, and it was for the better.

[schwarzkopf]

Live the life you want to live.

LOL - I wish that was an option.

But seriously at 20, you have so much time ahead to try/fail/try/fail and maybe succeed.

[Maelle]

I still feel like I am not ready to be an adult at 30 sometimes! You just have to keep ploughing on doing the best you can, making mistakes and growing, I know i am a better, happier, more rounded person at 30 than I was at 20 though so you have all the best stuff coming up, not in the past!

[Gothicshark]

Wait until you hit 42, then you should feel nice and depressed.

[Deleted]

Yea.. I wrote a long post in response to Arnorei but it said something about not being shown until a moderator gives approval. Guess it has something to do with my low post count.

Like you pointed out, hes post didn't really help. The weird part is that I still look the same as I did when I was 16 and don't feel any different. I dont know what I was expecting.. that I'd look like an old woman and get hit with some wisdom of the old along the way at some point when I hit 18. It hasn't happened though and I'm already 20 In hindsight, I think taking that year off from college was a mistake. Sure I get to pick something more fitting for me and it gives me a little more room to breath and organize things as well as save up some money but it sure is more depressing than I thought it would be.

Really? Didn't know there's a limit on the size of post until you get a number of posts already.

You sure you just didn't take too long to write it and it says you need to refresh page before? If that ever happens, click "go advanced" to log without losing what you wrote. If you just refresh, there's a high chance you'll lose what you wrote.

Now to add some things on what you wrote here.
1. Changing your major if you truly didn't like the one you had might be a good choice. Why? Because otherwise, let's say you'd have gone to the end with IT. Then what? Then you'd have found a job in IT. Ok, now you've done 3 years learning something you didn't like and got a job in a domain you don't like. This might make the matter worse.
2. No, you don't hit by wisdom as you grow, but if you look back on your actions before, you'll see they were immature, the idea is that with age, you mature and start to think more about others too, about the implications of your actions, not only about yourself as you did when you were little.

What you need to focus now is building a solid base for what you think will make you happy in the future. Try and find some good friends who are there when you need them and to whom you're there, not just people with which to party or something (don't know you so maybe not party, but you know what I mean, don't just get friends to... play games together or just to go and have a drink, get friends to make a stable connection), finish college and master (don't do master in same degree, people with different university and master subjects are more prized, don't ask why) and get a job and start helping your parents too. If you work for these, in 5-10 years you'll start to see results. The future is what you make it. If you leave it and do nothing and stuff you'll end you're 30 and depressed you've done nothing you wanted and can't do anything you wish, so even more unhappy then now.

Now you're like a seed in a fruit. Until now your parent tree cared for you, but now it dropped you and the protective shell is fading and you need to catch root yourself and grow.

[Deleted]

It never gets better. Nothing ever gets better.

[Deleted]

No matter your age life is just as good as you want it to be.

My life gets better and better for each year, i feel better and im happier and its all becuse i have decided that this is how its going to be.

[Deleted]

No matter your age life is just as good as you want it to be.

My life gets better and better for each year, i feel better and im happier and its all becuse i have decided that this is how its going to be.

Yeah sometimes it's not that easy.

[Deleted]

Yeah sometimes it's not that easy.

Thats exactly how easy it is.

But you if you think its harder then that, it will be harder then that.
All in your head.

[Deleted]

First, hi MMO-Champ! I've lurked here for a while, being a WoW and Diablo player and finally decided to register.

Anyway, the problem is that I had my 20th birthday in September, as well as a lot of changes in my life and I've been feeling increasingly nostalgic, even depressed after that. I thought it would pass but it's actually getting worse. I don't even know what it is. Maybe it's that I dont want to accept being a grown up now or maybe it's because I took a year off college after the first year because I didn't like my specialty and I'm planning to reapply next year. It could even be because I renovated my room during summer from the money I made working and dug up a lot of old things, photos, mementos, childhood dolls or even because I lost touch with nearly all my high school friends. Oh and I forgot the most important part. My parents were in their late 30s/early 40s when they had me and my dad just had hes 60th birthday and they're starting to look kind of frail.

This is starting to really bother me as I feel.. old at 20 and I don't know if that's normal. Has anyone gone through something like that?

Now you made me feel depressed as well. I've been thinking similarly the past few months.

[Deleted]

Thats exactly how easy it is.

But you if you think its harder then that, it will be harder then that.
All in your head.

Tell that to the people with incurable diseases. Tell that to people who wake up with pain every morning. Tell that to people who have to take medication against depression. That it's all just in their head.

[Deleted]

Thats exactly how easy it is.

But you if you think its harder then that, it will be harder then that.
All in your head.

So if you get cancer or you are a victim of a horrible crime, you lose your job and your wife/children.........so that was all because you didn't want it to be easy. All those starving babies in Africa wanted it the hard way....

Cmon, does someone REALLY believe that? Positive thinking is bullshit and has never been proven to work. Some people get lucky and use opportunity and some bite the dust quite soon or never get that opportunity. Life is a lot about luck, where you are born, what kind of parents you have etc.

[semaphore]

Pfft, the early 20s are the time to be nostalgic about! Your whole life is ahead of you. Slow down and savour the moment; it'll never be the same again.

[Deleted]

Slow down and savour the moment

Somehow I had a Pandaren before my eyes when I read that. And it wasn't my avatar.