What's the weirdest thing someone has ever told you?

[Dug]

When people reference memes irl. It's weird and the second hand embarrassment I feel should be illegal. Examples "Aint nobody got time for dat", "me gusta", "forever alone" and the worst is people who verbally express "trololol".

[Medusa Cascade]

"I don't like futanari." What a fucking weirdo

[Skulltaker]

"You remind me of my boyfriend. He died. But he cheated on me, which makes it okay." A patient.

[hrugner]

I guess that would be my older sister telling me she had been sending love letters to her friend on my behalf and that I asked her to do it.

[Bodom]

80-90 year old guy who could barely walk stood up and walked up to our table where me and my friends where sitting, and then he looked at each one of us slowly before slamming his fists in the table yelling "That's the most disgusting thing I have ever seen: long haired idiots!" and then he turned around and left. The 4 of us looked like stereotypical metalhead and we were just eating pizza.

[Ghazan Julio]

A lady in my neighborhood was walking around the block while I was headed to the park to jog. She basically said good afternoon asked me what I was doing then proceeded to say, "I was raped in that park. Now that's why I carry one of these." And then pulled out a plastic folded knife and showed it to me. Let's just say I kept it casual and proceeded towards the park as fast as possible.

[hrugner]

I knew one of those painfully awkward people in high school, he hung around my other friend Derek all the time. He talked in an English accent (This is in BFE Michigan, and he isn't English AT ALL) and frequently would go on about how he was an agent of darkness, and that "he lived in the shadows".
He turned to me one time when we were all out walking around town and said "I'm actually a Dark Angel. I was born in the void."
Without a hint of sarcasm.
While looking me dead in the eye, with a creepy smile on his lips.
I stopped hanging around Joe after that.

We had one of those around town here too, except he was a vampire/cyborg/hitman/Bandito. I didn't avoid him though, I was still entertained by people embarrassing themselves around me at that point.

[Dug]

I knew one of those painfully awkward people in high school, he hung around my other friend Derek all the time. He talked in an English accent (This is in BFE Michigan, and he isn't English AT ALL) and frequently would go on about how he was an agent of darkness, and that "he lived in the shadows".
He turned to me one time when we were all out walking around town and said "I'm actually a Dark Angel. I was born in the void."
Without a hint of sarcasm.
While looking me dead in the eye, with a creepy smile on his lips.
I stopped hanging around Joe after that.

I've never spoken to the guy but there's this dude that lurks around the mall that wears, and I shit you not, a fedora+trench coat combo with a walking cane and speaks in a british accent. From what I've heard he just hangs around there every single day. I kind of want to go up and talk to him just to see what weird shit he has to say.

[Lightwysh]

I had a guy come up to me at a bus stop when I was 14ish. First thing he said was "I love to smell socks, can I have yours?"

I promptly went into the neighboring Taco Bell and waited for the bus.

[Phookah]

A lady in my neighborhood was walking around the block while I was headed to the park to jog. She basically said good afternoon asked me what I was doing then proceeded to say, "I was raped in that park. Now that's why I carry one of these." And then pulled out a plastic folded knife and showed it to me. Let's just say I kept it casual and proceeded towards the park as fast as possible.

I've met quite a few people like that: the ones that just up and out with something personal and awkward in a public setting to a stranger, for no reason.
My aunt is one of those people, her new husband is like 25 years younger than her and she prefaces virtually every conversation she starts with "This is my husband, yes I'm a cougar! I think I've always liked younger guys and blahblah...." and then she goes on about it for 10 minutes.
So cringey.

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I had a guy come up to me at a bus stop when I was 14ish. First thing he said was "I love to smell socks, can I have yours?"

I promptly went into the neighboring Taco Bell and waited for the bus.

"I need an adult"
Good thing too, that wasn't going to lead anywhere but terrible.

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I've never spoken to the guy but there's this dude that lurks around the mall that wears, and I shit you not, a fedora+trench coat combo with a walking cane and speaks in a british accent. From what I've heard he just hangs around there every single day. I kind of want to go up and talk to him just to see what weird shit he has to say.

Ugh. The people that try to craft themselves into a character for some reason hurt my sense of shame.

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We had one of those around town here too, except he was a vampire/cyborg/hitman/Bandito. I didn't avoid him though, I was still entertained by people embarrassing themselves around me at that point.

This guy fashioned himself as some kind of vampire too, but that wasn't too uncommon in my town as a freshmen (lots and lots of goths that took the lifestyle literal)

[Fencers]

Weirdest: "Can I watch you pee?" (Guy I was dating)

Uncomfortable: "I was sexually abused by my grandfather." (A close friend)

[Katie N]

When I was 8 months pregnant someone said that he thought I was sexy and that he wanted to have sex with me.

[Deleted]

When I was 8 months pregnant someone said that he thought I was sexy and that he wanted to have sex with me.

that seems to be a big fetish actually

[Alvito]

Could we leave the dumbass political shit out of this? Is it not enough to be in EVERY other thread?

It is a real answer to the question. It might not be an answer you like or want to see, yet that doesn't change anything.

[Sorrior]

Possibly an old friend telling me he saw a video of women jacking off an elephant before bathing in it's jizz..

[Phookah]

It is a real answer to the question. It might not be an answer you like or want to see, yet that doesn't change anything.

Yes, lets be pedantic, the most odd thing you've ever heard in your life was someone liking a politician you don't.
I don't even like Trump in the slightest, I'm just sick of reading ANY thread and inevitably someone comes in bashing Trump/singing his high praises and it gets old.

[General Junos]

Went to get my weekly allergy shot.

Nurse: "Your skin is really thin. It's great for shots."

[Independent voter]

That they were a Nigerian prince who had $20 million in the bank that they needed to get out of the country and he needed my help.

[Lakrin]

I work with kids with autism, so I have a truckload, but I'll just leave this gem:

"They have many different penises." No context. Went from coloring, to that, back to coloring in about 5 seconds.

[Katie N]

that seems to be a big fetish actually

Just so weird to get turned on by someone having a baby in them that's not even theirs. xD