Disability and Romance

[Deleted]

So I recently threw myself back in the 'networking' game and noticed a somewhat annoying trend. On the rare chance I got talking to somebody the conversation would ultimately lead to my disability and one of two things occurred; 1. they ignored me 2. they said it doesn't matter they're interested in the person etc. Now after 2 we would naturally talk more and curiosity would continue regarding my imparments (such as requiring a ventilator, limited movement, etc). Thus far this occurred with 5 different guys and all 5 eventually quickly ignored me upon finding out further.

Now should I be angry or understanding? Would you ignore somebody upon finding out?

Personally i'm currently feeling angry, frustrated and disheartened but at the same time understanding that not everybody wants to deal with that shit

[Justpassing]

I love it how you assume everybody knows you and about your disability or whatever.

[Hana Song]

Why would someone choose someone disabled when there are healthy people out there?

[Deleted]

I'd never date someone disabled, unless we're talking about very very minor things.

Biologically speaking and personally it's a bad decision, for a straight man at least.

[Deleted]

I love it how you assume everybody knows you and about your disability or whatever.

I didn't think I needed to explain great details

[TheramoreIsTheBomb]

I have a feeling this thread won't end well.

[Kithelle]

I would be pissed...because obviously they lied about saying it doesn't matter...basically what they're saying it doesn't matter till a certain point.

[xChurch]

Sucks but unfortunately most people just don't want to deal with it. Life is hard enough without willingly getting into a relationship with someone who's life is default harder, even if it won't necessarily make your life worse. I personally wouldn't want to deal with it unless it had happened after I was already involved. Life is not a charity case.

[Independent voter]

Most of the people with disabilities I know have romances with nurses. I don't know a lot of disabled people, a blind guy who married a nurse and a paraplegic who also married a nurse.

[Deleted]

No i would not ignore somebody just because they have a disability. Seems rather shallow if i already like their personality. Maybe you are networking into a group of people that are more shallow than your avarage joe ?

[Chetnik]

Well I don't know what specific disability you have, but if you're asking perfectly healthy strangers to start an intimate relationship with you and not take into consideration your disability and how it will affect their lives, I think you're being really unfair. We're not all perfectly healthy children born into billionaire families, and we just have to deal with the cards dealt to us. If it's any consolation, it's probably not you that they're avoiding, but your disability.

[Grym]

Firstly, is it too personal to ask what disability you have?

I think if it is on dating site, it is best to put it in the first line or paragraph of your profile, so people will know instantly before even messaging you. That way those that messages you, already knew in advance therefore show that they don't mind.

Telling people after they been talking to you, first some of them will feel like "that is not what they signed up for", yeah ultimately it is the inner person that matters, but other girl's inner person could be very nice too. Secondly some people will just mind, same for people that won't message you if you have it made obvious on your profile. For those, there is no helping it, they want someone without any disability only and that unfortunately is their choice.

Be honest upfront, eventually someone that will love you for who you are will appear

[Deleted]

Most of the people with disabilities I know have romances with nurses. I don't know a lot of disabled people, a blind guy who married a nurse and a paraplegic who also married a nurse.

sounds like the plot of a cheap porno tbh

[Calfredd]

I didn't think I needed to explain great details

You mean again. This isn't the first thread where you talked about your disability and/or getting someone to have sex/love you despite said disability.

[Justpassing]

sounds like the plot of a cheap porno tbh

I'd watch it. I'm just a sucker for nurses tho :3

[Deleted]

Firstly, is it too personal to ask what disability you have?

I think if it is on dating site, it is best to put it in the first line or paragraph of your profile, so people will know instantly before even messaging you. That way those that messages you, already knew in advance therefore show that they don't mind.

Telling people after they been talking to you, first some of them will feel like "that is not what they signed up for", yeah ultimately it is the inner person that matters, but other girl's inner person could be very nice too. Secondly some people will just mind, same for people that won't message you if you have it made obvious on your profile. For those, there is no helping it, they want someone without any disability only and that unfortunately is their choice.

Be honest upfront, eventually someone that will love you for who you are will appear

I have Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy and I make a point of adding that information on my profile as I feel withholding said information to be dishonest

[Deleted]

Online dating unless you are a 7/10+ and accept to date down is a bad experience for any male disabled or not. Same goes for the avg. Joe that's 4-6/10 they will have to date down to a level I don't think majorit of males would accept unless they are into "do not care, had sex".

[Cosmic Janitor]

So.. we are talking online dating here, right?

[FlemmMinis]

I have a feeling this thread won't end well.

Agreed. /10char

[Leyre]

Dont worry OP, stupidity as a cure

Infracted for flaming