True or false: Breadwinner doesnt have to do as much around the house

[Deleted]

Say you work 40h a week, and your SO works 20.
Should your SO do 20h of work around the house before she can start complaining about you being lazy?
What if they work 32h and you work 40?

[Deleted]

No... /10chars

[Reg]

False. If you treat responsibilities in a relationship tit for tat, you're better off not being in one. It's not a competition.

[Spectral]

Say you work 40h a week, and your SO works 20.
Should your SO do 20h of work around the house before she can start complaining about you being lazy?
What if they work 32h and you work 40?

If you're working 40 hours/week and bitching about work, you are one lazy SOB.

I also don't really know how you'd put in 20 hours/week of housework. That straight up doesn't exist outside of a mansion.

WTF is with these petty arguments?

[Boogums]

Responsibilities should be something that are shared, but if I'm working 40 hours a week and my wife is home 20 of those hours, I expect her to use that time productively. I don't expect dinner cooked for me and a cold beer waiting, but if she's spending those 20 hours fucking around and not contributing to the relationship, then that's a problem.

[Deleted]

False. If you treat responsibilities in a relationship tit for tat, you're better off not being in one. It's not a competition.

Its not about that. Its coming home at 19:00 and immediately being prompted to take out the trash (for instance) when she's been home for 5h already.

[Machismo]

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

You come to an agreement, like mature ass adults. If you cannot come to an agreement, then you do not belong in a relationship.

[Theodarzna]

I think you do whatever you feel should be done around the house yourself.

The major problem is one person has a standard of tidy and clean that the other might not share. So the breadwinner might be okay with tidy and the less breadwinner might be expect emasculate.

[LiiLoSNK]

Yes if you're doing all the work and your partner is at home sitting on their ass and doing nothing with all that extra time, they can't complain about you being lazy.

[Deleted]

If taking out the trash is too hard after you've worked for 8 hrs.. yes, you are lazy..

[Independent voter]

I am very pampered when I get home. To maintain household harmony I let her assigned me chores. I don't think she is satisfied the quality of my work but at least I get the big stuff so when she goes over my work she doesn't have to do much just the fine detail.

I shouldn't say "I let her" we talked it over came to a consensus.

[Boogums]

My wife and I both work 40 hour weeks and both do an "equal" amount around the house. Yes she has more on the list to do than me, but that's because my things require more to do. Fixing things that are broken, lifting and moving things she can't lift, killing things that need being killed. Our relationship is pretty good.

My friend works 40 hours a week and his wife hasn't worked a full time job in the last 7 years. She's worked part time maybe 3 or 4 times for a few months in that time frame. He also has to do all of the cleaning and cooking and everything around the house. I'm not sure how well their relationship actually is, especially since they're barely managing to scrape by each and every month, but if I was in the relationship, it would'nt last long at all.

[Deleted]

If taking out the trash is too hard after you've worked for 8 hrs.. yes, you are lazy..

So why hasnt she taken it out? Why do i, coming back at 7, still having to eat, while she already did her jogging and shit, comfortable in her onesy showered n all, totally relax, ask the stressed out working man to do a chore she couldve done hours ago.

[Kapadons]

We had this here discussion recently.

If they work half the time you do, it should be safe to assume that a larger portion of household duties should fall to them. Not ALL of them. And not 20hours ( who even takes 20 hours to clean a damn house)

If they work a few hours less, don't expect them to do a large portion of the chores while you sit around.

Either way, your best to find which chores each of you is comfortable doing and then pitch in on theirs where you can. I do trash, mow grass and yard maintenance, I keep the garage clean and responsible for household maintenance ( fixing broke stuff, changing bulbs and air filters, hanging new decorations or and many other "man" jobs. My wife does dishes, busses kids to and from school, vaccuums, dusts , cleans toilets. She hates laundry so we both do it. And I'll clean the kitchen if she worked late or I'm trying to get a blowjob.

[jackofwind]

Its not about that. Its coming home at 19:00 and immediately being prompted to take out the trash (for instance) when she's been home for 5h already.

Sounds like you need to suck it up and pull your weight.

Work =/= household chores. The two are not interchangeable.

[Rhaide]

Like others have said, it isn't a competition, but neither is it a non-issue. Both partners should be doing a roughly equal amount of work to keep the relationship happy. If one partner feels that they shouldn't have to work as much as the other and also feels that all other responsibilities should be split evenly, that person is selfish.

That's pretty much just straight up, healthy adult, intelligent human logic.

[jackofwind]

So why hasnt she taken it out?

Sounds more like its a communication problem between you two - you're assuming she should have taken it out already and she's assuming that it's your job to do it.

Maybe instead of asking on an internet forum you should actually discuss it with her like an adult.

[Sunseeker]

I tend to find it easiest to just do what I want to get done around the house. That way I know it gets done, and I've got noone but myself to blame if it doesn't.

[Rhaide]

Sounds like you need to suck it up and pull your weight.

Work =/= household chores. The two are not interchangeable.

Free time is free time. I don't disagree that 1 hour of work doesn't necessarily equal 1 hour of housework, but completely separating the two is immature. If you're a normal, functioning adult and not a man child, you probably don't have a lot of free time between work, responsibilities and social obligations (obligations, not fun nights out). If that is the case, your partner should want to help as much as possible so you have time to unwind.

[geewhiz80]

Do you ever just do something around the house because it needs to be done, or, do you not offer to do anything because you work more hours and expect her to do all of it since she works less?

Sure sometimes you come home tired and want to relax, but I mean if it is something as simple as taking out the trash that's kind of a silly thing to argue about.