"Lads! Britain needs you to do your duty and get flirting!"

[Deleted]

their fucking moronic.

tonystarkeyeroll.jpeg

[Theodarzna]

It requires a great deal of hypocrisy to hate being hit on and not being hit on at the same time. But when has that been an issue for contradicting feminist positions?

Well the key here, that nobody mentions is that for men to hit on girls you just need to follow these easy steps....

[Dextroden]

It doesn't really work like that.

It's not that women don't like being hit on. They just don't like being hit on BY YOU (by this I mean by the person they aren't interested it).

It's what makes the situation so awkward. If they like you/are interested in you, they absolutely don't mind you being confident and straightforward. But if they aren't...you are a nuisance. And they don't like most of the guys who hit on them.

This reinforces negative perceptions on both ends. Guy feel constantly rejected, and women feel constantly hounded by unwanted attention.

There is no realistic solution to this discrepancy.

This is why dating apps like Tinder are so popular.

If she swiped right and then gone on a date with you, you literally got past the worst part of dating psychologically speaking. Rejection. At this point your chances of getting laid are pretty high and even if you don't get laid, at least you had a normal human interaction with the person. And for women it is attractive because they don't need to actually blow off that weird guy at the bar they were really creeped out by.

I think a whole lot of women don't really realize the psychological burden of constant rejection. Some women seem to complain that their self confidence is ruined just because they aren't getting x amount of attention. Now imagine that 9 out 10 people you try to approach will reject you (and most of the time not kindly).

I frankly admire dudes like one of my friends who simply seem to lack any degree of self awareness. He can get rejected (bluntly) 25 times in a night and it has no effect on his self confidence. What is true about him tho, is he is quite a bit of a misogynist, and it's that...disregard...for women as people that allows him to somehow not give a shit.

I'm a fairly confident guy, but I don't think I chatted up a woman in a bar or a club in the past 10 years. I meet women in social settings, at work, through friends and so on, even through dating apps but I won't play to chat em up at a bar game.

Part of my past affects my current. I can make friends with people. Attempting to connect with anyone on a deeper level has been a terrifying ordeal thanks to developmental issues and a legitimate issue reading people's signals. Factor in having two people lie to your face about why they don't feel the same way ("I'm not dating right now" and "I'm gay". Both exposed by a stupid facebook post.), mixed in with a string of validated but still crushing rejection along with a steady acceptance of dieing a kissless virgin and you get a person who finds great humor in the way things turn out.

I have full respect for leaving people alone that don't want to be bothered. But the way it that ideal spread to just about any male interaction being judged as harassing, I just have to laugh at the people stuck in the same situation I was in before I said fuck it. Thinking the absolute worst things about yourself as you try to think of something to say and on the awkward walk back to your chair.

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Well the key here, that nobody mentions is that for men to hit on girls you just need to follow these easy steps....

There's another good chunk of it. Having to wonder if the reason you got turned down is purely physical or not is another confidence crusher.

[Theodarzna]

Part of my past affects my current. I can make friends with people. Attempting to connect with anyone on a deeper level has been a terrifying ordeal thanks to developmental issues and a legitimate issue reading people's signals. Factor in having two people lie to your face about why they don't feel the same way ("I'm not dating right now" and "I'm gay". Both exposed by a stupid facebook post.), mixed in with a string of validated but still crushing rejection along with a steady acceptance of dieing a kissless virgin and you get a person who finds great humor in the way things turn out.

I have full respect for leaving people alone that don't want to be bothered. But the way it that ideal spread to just about any male interaction being judged as harassing, I just have to laugh at the people stuck in the same situation I was in before I said fuck it. Thinking the absolute worst things about yourself as you try to think of something to say and on the awkward walk back to your chair.

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There's another good chunk of it. Having to wonder if the reason you got turned down is purely physical or not is another confidence crusher.

It's true though, the line between "unwanted harassment," and "a flirtatious encounter," is purely about how hot the guy is.

[Deleted]

It doesn't really work like that.

It's not that women don't like being hit on. They just don't like being hit on BY YOU (by this I mean by the person they aren't interested it).

It's what makes the situation so awkward. If they like you/are interested in you, they absolutely don't mind you being confident and straightforward. But if they aren't...you are a nuisance. And they don't like most of the guys who hit on them.

This reinforces negative perceptions on both ends. Guy feel constantly rejected, and women feel constantly hounded by unwanted attention.

There is no realistic solution to this discrepancy.

This is why dating apps like Tinder are so popular.

If she swiped right and then gone on a date with you, you literally got past the worst part of dating psychologically speaking. Rejection. At this point your chances of getting laid are pretty high and even if you don't get laid, at least you had a normal human interaction with the person. And for women it is attractive because they don't need to actually blow off that weird guy at the bar they were really creeped out by.

I think a whole lot of women don't really realize the psychological burden of constant rejection. Some women seem to complain that their self confidence is ruined just because they aren't getting x amount of attention. Now imagine that 9 out 10 people you try to approach will reject you (and most of the time not kindly).

I frankly admire dudes like one of my friends who simply seem to lack any degree of self awareness. He can get rejected (bluntly) 25 times in a night and it has no effect on his self confidence. What is true about him tho, is he is quite a bit of a misogynist, and it's that...disregard...for women as people that allows him to somehow not give a shit.

I'm a fairly confident guy, but I don't think I chatted up a woman in a bar or a club in the past 10 years. I meet women in social settings, at work, through friends and so on, even through dating apps but I won't play to chat em up at a bar game.

Posts like this make me almost want to thank "God" I am not straight.

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Well the key here, that nobody mentions is that for men to hit on girls you just need to follow these easy steps....

Hmm, my brother isnt handsome but he is attractive (excudes confidence, looks after himself, not socially akward or mysoginistic, tad mysterious)

So guys, I think you can do without the handsome part...just dont look like a duck!

[Deleted]

the title of this thread alone screams triggered feminist, why should we care about your problems

[May90]

So, she is afraid of asking a man "Having a good night?", and it is the man's fault? Niiiiiiice!

I remember, back when I was in the 5th grade or so, we had a dance party, I walked up to the most beautiful girl in our class - and froze and couldn't get myself to invite her for a dance. Now I know: it was her fault! After 16 years of agonizing, finally my consciousness is clean!

[Celista]

When I talk to single friends, many of us share a simple desire: we just want to be talked to more. Frankly, it’s getting us down. British lads, please find your gonads.

Can't really comment on the British perspective of things. I've never experienced anything like what she has described in that article, though. Here in the US, the more you go out = more people you meet = more dating opportunities. Men are still hella forward, today I took my dog to a park (was there for about 45 minutes, not that large and crowded of a park). Two different men chatted with me, one yelled from across the park saying how beautiful I was. This is NOT (emphasis: NOT) to brag or humblebrag or what have you--I'm pretty average-ish looking--my point is that here, men are plenty forward, they flirt all of the time, if you're smile and polite and thank them for the compliments/saying hello they are more likely to flirt with you and/or other women in the future. Flirting is fun and that hasn't stopped happening here, at least based on my experience.

That being said...yes bar scene feels different depending on the bar, people are more likely to show up with dates/someone they met via a dating app and are into their phones a lot. This is true for both genders. But a lot depends on where you're at, what time etc. My best experiences in bars were in Chicago during undergrad, one was a hole in the wall place downtown and there was lots of bar hopping/chatting with the bartender (who knew everyone by name) and other bar patrons, etc. There are places like that in Portland but harder to find, overall the hipster vibe gives the bar scene an impersonal feel I think. People are more interested in the novelty of the drink than the quality of the conversation. But again, not everywhere.

[THE Bigzoman]

I've been in a similar position as the guy. I understand that after a while you can't be bothered, because the constant rejections, along with the general sense of frustration of not knowing what you're doing wrong because unlike, say, school or a video game, there's no real feedback on how to do things right. And so the frustration and anger builds up as you get more and more lonely. Hell, I used to stare into the wall thinking about how I'll remain lonely, while at the same time trying to get someone to like me. It came to a point where I had to go to therapy in order to deal with my loneliness.

Now don't get me wrong, I was very succesful at school. I had many good friends, both male and female. Generally, I lived (and now do live) a very good life. But judging from your replies, you don't know how it is to be a lonely guy. Being lonely eats you alive, because to some extent, it shows that no matter how many friends or how successful in school or business you are, there's that little thing at the back of your head constantly reminding you that you're not worthy of romance or love, because hell, if you're doing everything else right in life, surely there must be something really wrong with one, maybe even something irreperable, to not have a romantic relationship. Maybe you don't even deserve one.

If that sounds pathetic to you, it's because it is. But that doesn't make it any less serious. I had luck to meet a real player and become good friends with him who could help me out with women. Other men are not so lucky.

It's pretty easy to get used to rejection though.

Normally when there's that frustration point, usually a change of settings or a break is needed.

I totally see where you're coming from though. Bitches won't ever get it.

[kamuimac]

Edit/note: I did not write the article below (obviously)

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016...-get-flirting/

Lads! Britain needs you to do your duty and get flirting

There are lots of things I love about Britain, just not its men.

And I don’t want to stereotype them all, so let me be more specific: I refer to those my own age, who have forced me to bookmark a cattery website. In the romantic arena, trying to meet a man sometimes makes me feel like David Attenborough, stepping into the jungle to locate a Jesus Lizard (a real thing).

Finding Mr Dreamy is difficult because the main strategies a girl can use are wrought with danger. Number one is proactivity: in 2016, it seems fair that a woman can approach a chap she fancies. This sometimes works, but generally does seem to make the man's insides shrivel up when asked “having a good night?” or something equally menacing.

So we consign ourselves to option two: waiting. Which is just as problematic, as nothing happens. That’s the conclusion my friend and I came to last week, while we were sitting at a bar. We’re hardly bad company and several lads gave us a cheeky stare as they did the toilet trot. Still, nothing happened, so we stared sadly into our Mojitos at single reflections.

Eventually one guy asked if we’d like to join him for some table football. He was dashing and curious. He was German, of course (because the only people who’ll ever chat you up in Britain are not British.)

Now I’m not Claudia Schiffer, but I don’t think I’m Chewbacca either. Yet operating in this asexual environment, it is possible to feel largely unattractive. Some sort of winter chill has frosted over British men’s gonads, and it’s leaving us all out in the cold.

If only they’d learn from the Europeans, maybe we’d be in with a chance. In countries such as Italy, Spain and France, the men are as forward as it gets. In such territory, a woman’s self esteem may rise substantially from all the glory of being chatted up.

In Britain, it’s as if the stereotypical school disco - girls on one side, boys on the other - continues into adulthood. Eight-year-olds are probably better at asking for a dance. As a result, the singles market is growing, with 51 percent of people in England and Wales eating dinner for one.

In 2014, newspapers boasted that the City of London is fantastic for women - because it has 155 single men per 100 ladies. These numbers seems favourable - until you realise that you’re dealing with the most placid of creatures, many of whom seem to delight in their solo status.

Tools like Tinder and Happn have made things worse, as men are inundated with choice - giving them false belief they are Puff Daddy. Dating apps have completely killed off macho displays now even the most predatory man can click his way to romance.

You may be thinking that all this is trivial, but this dating dallying has big societal consequences. As the Guardian likes to remind us, loneliness kills - so dithering lads are actually murderers, when you think about it. I’m not sure what the psychological reasons for their inactivity is - perhaps feminists have scared them off with complaints of catcalling. So much so that, like the Jesus Lizard, a wolf whistle is near extinction.

British men need some encouragement, maybe even government intervention, to be more forward. In 2015, Denmark released an advert called “Do It For Mom”, to encourage its nationals to have more babies. Maybe we need an equivalent: “Do It For The Girls”. For if British men don’t make the moves, we almost certainly will be joining the Danes in the birth rate stakes.



Birth rates and loneliness aside, it’s a simple issue of self-esteem that worries me. Because of daft, but very real, rules of engagement, most women really are at the whim of men to decide their dating destiny. You wouldn’t believe how many guys are averse to forward women, but then won’t do the forward thing themselves. So everyone is stuck.

When I talk to single friends, many of us share a simple desire: we just want to be talked to more. Frankly, it’s getting us down. British lads, please find your gonads.

seems to me like article written by fat chick who knows she has no chance the moment she sends her picture /shrug

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Well the key here, that nobody mentions is that for men to hit on girls you just need to follow these easy steps....

you forgot about very important and extremly strong aphrodisiac that works on majority of women :

0) have a lot of $$$$$$$

lifes not fair and p2w - its sad truth but its absolute truth

[THE Bigzoman]

Alright then, quote time!




Looks like those rejections are to due with when he tried online dating. Now if you're going after where he says "but broke things off a month later", this is ambiguous and could be interpreted as either him or his date braking it off. Either way, you're assuming and twisting his words to suit you going after him. Like FFS, there's enough people in this thread that actually have showed their discontent towards woman, instead you go after the guy who's happily married...

That's kind of what she does: Armchair psychology to young dude's dating stories.

Pull up a chair. Welcome. You're in for a wild ride.

[kamuimac]

Women could solve a lot of their relationship issues by not dating cunts.

thats not easy though

from psychological point of view

a cunt will give them constant rollercoaster of emotions and feelings

sensitive men will appear to them as .... boring and uninteresting

untill they hit 30-35 and realise that cunts are not husband materials while good men dont want used product since at the age of 30-35 they already have $$$$ and can atract much younger chicks much easier.

[THE Bigzoman]

thats not easy though

from psychological point of view

a cunt will give them constant rollercoaster of emotions and feelings

sensitive men will appear to them as .... boring and uninteresting

untill they hit 30-35 and realise that cunts are not husband materials while good men dont want used product since at the age of 30-35 they already have $$$$ and can atract much younger chicks much easier.

I've heard this alot.

But all I see is dudes using the term "Gilf" and no older dudes dating younger chicks.

Except for the dude that dated my younger sister, but not important!

[Vilendor]

As we now know thanks to modern feminism, flirting is sexual assault and rape. The author of this article must be arrested and sentenced to jail for promoting rape-culture

[Underverse]

It's true though, the line between "unwanted harassment," and "a flirtatious encounter," is purely about how hot the guy is.

And because attraction is at least partially subjective, we get into dangerous territory very quickly.

[THE Bigzoman]

It's true though, the line between "unwanted harassment," and "a flirtatious encounter," is purely about how hot the guy is.

You're like, the coolest girl on here.

And it's not even because of what you probably think is my reasoning is for thinking that. It's just that you're the only girl that gets it.

[Deleted]

Could you imagine this article written with the genders reversed?

"I can't get laid and it's all these darn womens' fault for not just serving it up to me."

Three cheers for equality!!!

[Hotmail]

You may be thinking that all this is trivial, but this dating dallying has big societal consequences. As the Guardian likes to remind us, loneliness kills - so dithering lads are actually murderers, when you think about it. I’m not sure what the psychological reasons for their inactivity is - perhaps feminists have scared them off with complaints of catcalling. So much so that, like the Jesus Lizard, a wolf whistle is near extinction.

100% this. I colored for emphasis since Bold was already taken.

[Deleted]

I have no problems talking with women in a conversation, but as soon as it becomes apparent it gets into the "flirty" area, I get incredibly cautious and a barrier forms, kinda.

For me, there's a multitude of reasons I can think about which have added to this problem's creation.
-Parent's divorce when I was young
-No male rolemodel in the form of father/brother/friends to help that transition into manhood/ways of approaching women etc
-having been bullied during several years of school (in some cases by a girl), which complete killed my selfconfidence for socializing in general, but relationships in special, because you'll think "Who wants to be with someone as unlikeable as me" or "I've had most of the class against me or just watching, so I cant trust others".

So during a time where I would've normaly made first experiences with girls/women, I lacked even the smallest of helping aspects in my environment.
With some years after the bullying, selfconfidence came back, but had a
-severe fear of rejection (looking at above, makes sense, right?)
which makes that first step, which is MUCH more likely to be a rejection than a yes, that much harder. Not mentioning nevousness and other fuck ups which would ruin a otherwhise yes...

Women are free to choose their men, but I dare say few realize that they cause more than disappointment for some men with a no.
If you've been rejected enough, it's probably as bad or worse as never being approached at all for a woman.

And the author of the post says it's dangerous for a woman to be proactive. Well for men it's as dangerous (confidence-wise).
And if she starts talking about predators...if you see people in that light (that being proactive would endanger you), you basically shame men as a general for being dangerous and not in control of their lust and such, so why dare the approach, on fear for being likened with a rapist, or at least getting a insensitive NO, or worse, a hurting NOOOOO/insulting laught/ignore?

To add to all those things:
-Internet

With stuff like Feminazism and MGTOW and the like, you're showered with reasons why not to take the plunge.
If your male society tells you women are are choosey, insensitive, money-hungry, self entitled, privileged and acting on it, selfish beings with double standards...
...And you see A LOT of footage of women acting it out...

You'll get even more fearful and paranoid of getting to know women.


Well, that's just my story. Maybe some of my points apply to some others as well.

[Blobfish]

And watch out for Ladies that tell your / her friends that you where bad in Bed..

eg: He may be a Triple Olympic Champion, but Usain Bolt's "One Night Stand" in Rio , has called him bad in bed.

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/ren...8f3060c61ecd0b

Usain Bolt’s sexual prowess doesn’t live up to his athletic success, a Rio one-night stand has complained after he never
called her back after allegedly cheating with her on his long-term girlfriend .

I really thought we had something going,” 20-year-old Brazilian Jady Duarte said.
“He has the body of a champion although his male parts do not match. He is just like a regular guy.

“I was expecting him to be fast but it was actually the slowest sex I’ve ever had.”