the community of wow is just...

[Roadblock]

It's not your fault.
From your OP it's obvious you are not a rager, despite a couple bad experiences you are able to articulate yourself well and ask for feedback.

The way I see it you have a couple options.
You can keep looking for micro-communities that are closer to your ethos (guild or friend circles).
You might get lucky or it might take you a long time and still strike out.

I am sure that some pockets of normal people (no matter what "welcome to the internet" people will tell you, being a douche online is not normal behavior) will have remained.

The thing is.. this virtual world has its own set of rules (simulated but you still die a virtual death from fall damage)
It has incentives and deterrents.
Modern WoW has evolved (or devolved in my personal opinion) from a seamless world with a heavy tax on single player playstyle, to a collection of mini-games with a heavy tax on group playstyle.
Even the activities that require a group to complete have been padded and packaged and twisted to create the illusion of self-reliance and a single player experience where other players might as well be NPCs.

That kind of game design permeates and formulates its audience.

So yeah there were always anti-social players, but there were fewer of them proportionately and they also paid a tax for being that way.
Nowadays they are given free reign and provided with the tools to prosper; so they proliferate.

TL;DR: You're being phased out. You can either join them, grow a thick skin (i.e. join them) or bow out.
I wish you luck finding a group of like-minded people though.

[ShiyoKozuki]

The community has always been this way. If you're playing a healer and pugging content then you're going to have to get used to being blamed for deaths. There's no way to avoid it while pugging. You should probably just learn to accept it or find a guild that isn't ran by asshats.

It's funny because Legion is designed in a way where you literally cannot heal through people standing in fire. Anytime I've seen a DPS complain about not being healed I look at their deaths and it's always 100% their fault.

The difference between a good DPS who doesn't kill themselves and a bad one is night and day.

[Marrilaife]

It's funny because Legion is designed in a way where you literally cannot heal through people standing in fire. Anytime I've seen a DPS complain about not being healed I look at their deaths and it's always 100% their fault.

The difference between a good DPS who doesn't kill themselves and a bad one is night and day.

It's not funny, it's tragic, and I knew it will be this way the moment I heard about healing design for Legion. It's Cata all over again. Healer gets blamed for not doing something that was literally impossible for him in the first place. Catch 22.

And yes, I know what are you talking about, yesterday I did daily hc Maw, all 3 dps died from Helya's breath. It's not supposed to be healed through, it's supposed to be avoided. But pugs will be pugs.

[Ferrair]

It probably boils down to the developers. Blizz and their "arrogant" stance on removing flying, the cow dung that is WoD and still believing in their choices, the infamous "you think you do, but you don't". It trickles down to the community and it eventually evolved to what we have now.

If you look at FFXIV, the developers manage expectations by restricting data mining, apologize for mistakes and lack of content(the 5mth break because they went on holiday for patch 3.1), apologize for letting us wait for egi glamours and such, it fosters a more forgiving community, and in turn, a more friendly player base. Of course you have 1 or 2 bad eggs but if you are a new player and ask for help in any major city, someone will come along, give you some gil(gold), tell you whats up and maybe introduce you to a FC(guild).

Another thing is probably add ons. FFXIV still refuses to allow addons because they say it will foster "elitism". We have alternative ways of measuring dps but it's a grey area, as long as we don't harass someone in game for low dps, they will turn a blind eye. And it works, if you go to FFXIV reddit, it's nothing but fan art, screenshots, patch notes, some knitting of FFXIV insignias and some random scribbles. Help to max dps is non existent, yet everyone seems to be doing fine in game. You still have some who do shit dps, but even in wow, with all the tools and websites and min/max guides, people still do shit dps so there's that.

Maybe its cross-realm and LFG, who knows.

That's my opinion anyway.

[alemaite]

True, most people are used to facerolling through everything. Now that you actually have to use your brain Mythic 5+ dungeons somewhat, people get bitchy really quickly when they don't 1 shot everything. I still remember how fun it was learning the heroics in TBC. Hard to find those people, which is why I don't even bother doing any Keystones with anyone but people in my guild.

[TheFirstOnes]

Ive quit legion as quit as i bought it it. Ive now subscribed to a Vanilla server and within half an hour im actively talking in a guild and finding parties in Mulgore. The game is a fantastic multiplayer game, much better then the single player mode you play today.

Gregg Street killed this game then ran away with his tail between his legs.

1. Jesus man, that read. And to think I had the grammar issues. Ahaha

2. Greg street left before WoD was even finished, he didn't do shit with legion. Infact, he was a raid designer. Like...what?!

3. Vanilla server? What is that, some 2004 icecream. We don't care weather or not you join a classic server or so forth. Just makes my popcorn even tastier.


OT: Welcome to the internet, where trolls, children, ragers, edgelords, and idiots reign on one half. And where good guys, helpers, smart guys, and others like me reign from the other.

[Cæli]

learn to ignore people, works great in game and in life too

[Edison]

Yes it was. I remember doing daily hc late TBC (there was some ethereal dude in Shatt giving the quest) and me and guild tank from a very casual guild pugged some dps and they started ridiculing him he has "less hp than them as a tank" because they were all sporting welfare pvp gear with bazillion stamina. Tank was defense capped and did guild run in Karazhan but that didn't matter for pugs.

Also we pugged some people for that guild Karazhan run and I remember someone mocking us "Karazhan isn't even a raid, it's a glorified dungeon" and going all elitist on us.

Oh ye, and I remember being declined from dungeon pugs as a resto druid "because druids don't have proper rez". And the usual question from pugs "how many epics you have equipped? What's your +healing power?" So generally same as ilvl / gearscore plague.

Maaaybe it was different in vanilla, I didn't play in vanilla so I wouldn't know, but I somehow doubt it. I joined in TBC, was all green and noob but I remember well enough the community wasn't very inclusive. Actually before my druid was resto I wanted to be boomkin but the community quickly taught me if you aren't mage / rogue / hunter you ain't getting spots as dps.

The only difference is people pugged way less back in the days. And definitely not the top difficulty content, that was confined to guilds.

I'm not saying it didn't happen back in the days, I remember shitheads ninjaing in MC and people being mean to eachother. But the thing is, at least on my server if you behaved bad you would quickly end up on peoples ignore lists and be known as a toxic player and no guild or raid would take you in. No name or server change forced that person to reroll, usually on another server. The game forced you to be nice in a way.

So my point is, it has always existed yes in a sense but nowadays it's 100 times worse than it used to.

[Seranthor]

I've been playing this game for 12 years. On and off.

It is the first time ever that its not the game itself and the lack of content that is forcing me to quit but the community itself.

I don't know why but so far into legion I haven't found many people that are alright to play with. Elitism has hit the rooftop and everyone expects you to play like a God, and of course if you don't your gonna get flamed.

I had plenty of instances where people were trying to blame me for their own faults or generally blame its other. Drama all over the place.

Examples: I joined a boost 865+ group with my keystone. I was the healer. I am 862ilvl myself so I'd say I can keep up with them. We went in the instance (Court of Stars +5) and tank started masspulling. Some of the dps including me died 2-3 times, bare in mind this was due to overpulling. Then a mage died 1 shot from an aoe hit and started flaming me that I don't know what am doing or anything. I looked at my own combat log and the mob did 1.8k hit to me and I have 15% dmg reduction on anything, that poor mage was 1 shot, no place were I could save him.
At the end of the instance I told them thanks for the run and I tried to be as humble as possible saying "sorry for not being up to your level". They started flaming me like "yes you suck" etc... not even being sensible saying its alright mate or something.

Another instance is I joined a guild as a social. They are wiping on Xavius hc. I have pugged him 2 times until now. The leader asks me to go and help them... I say alright I'll help out. We start the first pull where we wipe on around 25%. I am sitting on the top of healing meters with about 5% more healing done than the 2nd healer. The leader asks me to use a flask for the next pull. I tell him that flasks are quite expensive for me and I think I don't really need it. He insists that this is a guild run and everyone should flask up etc even if they are social and haven't signed up for any raiding with the guild... Anyways being bullied into flasking, I do that and we pull another 4 times. We wipe every time because the tactics are all over the place. Every single pull am sitting on the top of healing meters and doing dispels etc accordingly. On the next try the leader tells me to dispel while am not on the dream and on ph2-3 having got hit by an add that wasn't soaked. I dispel and go 100 corruption. After that try the leader is like its alright thanks for the help we don't need you and removes 5 people from the group. Hows that even my fault, his bad leadership being forced into me. He could have been much nicer with a social member in his guild trying to boost his group. (Guess what? They kept wiping after for like 20 tries and never got him).

Those are just 2 examples, obviously I have way too many instances where people in this game tried to be absolute a!%^^^%.

Is there something I am doing wrong?

Literally on the edge of just closing down my account due to the treatment, is there something I can fix in order to play with people that are not psychologically unstable?

When you are in a situation like that that you find unacceptable then politely excuse yourself from it... I too have had that and thought to myself, 'Well, if I'm the problem as they say, maybe I should leave them to their own devices'. You are a healer, you dont HAVE to accept that horseshit... leave and find another group...

[Berndorf]

1. Jesus man, that read. And to think I had the grammar issues. Ahaha

2. Greg street left before WoD was even finished, he didn't do shit with legion. Infact, he was a raid designer. Like...what?!

3. Vanilla server? What is that, some 2004 icecream. We don't care weather or not you join a classic server or so forth. Just makes my popcorn even tastier.


OT: Welcome to the internet, where trolls, children, ragers, edgelords, and idiots reign on one half. And where good guys, helpers, smart guys, and others like me reign from the other.

GC was behind the LFD tool and even just listed it in the things he took pride in doing while at Bliz. Not that he is solely to blame for everything currently wrong with wow but he was lead designer for a lot of things people still complain about.

[yetgdhfgh]

Been playing for 12 years on and off and you only just realized that the internet is full of shitbags and trolls?

[Video Games]

It's your fault for joining a social guild. They are all so fucking bad at this game it amazes me.

[Irian]

Yeah, to be honest WoW has a shit community.

Don't believe people who tell you that it's just "the internet" or some garbage like that. I've played a pretty large amount of MMORPGs and engaged in a lot of online communities and WoW has one of the most wretched for a largely co-operative game. It's probably the one reason Legion isn't pulling me in as much as it could be.

A large issue with this is the fact that Blizzard seems to encourage and even foster negative interaction. For example the mob tagging system and their justification for it still existing (you should be encouraged to kill or /shoo enemy players, alliance and horde shouldn't work together) and the utter lack of any rewarding positive behavior in WoW. Take League of Legends or FFXIV's "thumbs up" system at the end of a pug and add it to WoW and you'd be shocked how quickly it would change the attitude of pugs...and this is just a well-used and tested idea, Blizzard has never done anything to encourage people to actually be friendly or social to each other in this game. In fact, they have done the opposite by reducing the amount of possible reporting you can do and softening the penalty; I was legitimately harassed ingame for about half a year before Blizzard even did a damn thing about it other than giving the guy minor slaps on the wrist.

[melodramocracy]

Find a guild that suits your playstyle and this all goes away. Also, not flasking for raids is kind of lazy, regardless of role. *shrug*

[Flaks]

It's not funny, it's tragic, and I knew it will be this way the moment I heard about healing design for Legion. It's Cata all over again. Healer gets blamed for not doing something that was literally impossible for him in the first place. Catch 22.

And yes, I know what are you talking about, yesterday I did daily hc Maw, all 3 dps died from Helya's breath. It's not supposed to be healed through, it's supposed to be avoided. But pugs will be pugs.

I'm a melee player that quickly realized how my lack of map awareness while being dps was just plain horrible. Now I tank and my only real job is keeping myself alive.

[Marrilaife]

I'm a melee player that quickly realized how my lack of map awareness while being dps was just plain horrible. Now I tank and my only real job is keeping myself alive.

Yes, some "1-shot" mechanics are more forgiving to a tank because you don't get 1-shot due to innate sturdiness and availability of cooldowns. Still, a tank can avoid a lot of damage by sidestepping various abilities, and it starts mattering in medium to high mythic+.

A tank that mass pulls in mythic 5 like in OP's story and then eats everything to the face will probably be unhealable.

I did my fair share of mythic+ with guildies and I know sometimes 1 extra pack carelessly pulled means wipe on 5 and above. Sometimes it's recoverable, sometimes not, depending on mob types and how many you pulled extra.

I also did HOV+3 in a pug and boy, they made it harder than a +5 with guild. Enough to say we failed the timer. People ninjapulling and asspulling left and right, standing in bad, etc. I'm never gonna pug again anything that isn't pure faceroll, just not worth the trouble.

I can pull 2 packs on mythic 2 and generally pull without breaks for healer (again, in a guild / friend group where everyone knows what they're doing). Also depends on dungeon and if there are any mobs that hard cc you. But generally you don't do same big pulls on mythic 5-6 as you do on 2-3 "speedruns".

I did a 7 this week and most of the time our strategy was "blow tank cds until too many stacks of necrotic and then stun mobs and run away / kite until stacks drop", I was not amused. "Healing reduced by 153%" yeah great mechanic. Wish to see which tank can mass pull in that scenario.

[Seranthor]

Better example, I made a thread asking why is it so popular to grief people with training elite mobs on them and got 11 pages of replies "git gud" "l2p" "stop being such a crybaby" and generally how fun and awesome it is to be a jerk! Deal with it or gtfo!

That's the community we have, but I shrug it off and try to go on, that's why I told the OP try to find a better guild that you'd enjoy if the current one is rude and clueless.

Decent people hide in enclaves - their own guilds - and play with each other, because they're a minority and need to protect their enjoyment of play from people who think it's cool to abuse, exploit and mistreat others. There are countless stories on these forums and wow forums about pugs who flame, kick for little or no reason, kick wrong person, bully others, waste their keystones on purpose (or back in WOD waste their mythic raid lockout) and so on.

It's not WOW specific, I played League of Legends for some time and it's same story there - flaming, harassment, shifting blame, refusing to cooperate, trolling, to the point the owning company tries to invent more and more sophisticated ways to ban and chat ban worst offenders. Still not enough because it's fashionable to tell people "f* your mom" and "get cancer" on a daily basis. WOW community is a notch above at least. It's really not the worst.

The answer is the anonymity of the internet mixed with the fact that today kids instead of being taught to respect themselves and everyone else are taught they can have whatever they want leads to a hateful, toxic environment.

- - - Updated - - -

It's only in retail wow I see this happen, that's why I never played with pugs. I'm currently on a vanilla server and I'm shocked over how nice everybody is, very helpful aswell.

People can disagree all they want but with cross realm LFD we started seeing this behavior a lot more.
Sometimes the game has to force you to be nice, or else the inner troll and asshole wakes up.

Because before CRZ, cross realm, the ability to change your name and transfer servers you had to act like a decent person or you'd get a toxic rep and folks wouldn't have you around... now you can be as shitty as you want and when the heat gets too high you can change your name, change servers or melt into the cross realm and CRZ and never have to deal with the consequences of being a shitbag.

[schwarzkopf]

Healers are like the goal keepers of WoW.

Healers are like legendaries, everyone whinges because they can't find one for their run, then when they do they whinge because they don't like them.

[ls-]

Because before CRZ, cross realm, the ability to change your name and transfer servers you had to act like a decent person or you'd get a toxic rep and folks wouldn't have you around... now you can be as shitty as you want and when the heat gets too high you can change your name, change servers or melt into the cross realm and CRZ and never have to deal with the consequences of being a shitbag.

TBH, that's quite common misconception. Being a jerk to others wasn't game breaking at all, nearly every realm had few guilds full of jerks, they were clearing content on their w/o interacting w/ non-jerks, cuz of this kind of isolation they're sorta invisible to general public. And ofc on PvP realms they kept "interacting" w/ non-jerks via training, ganking, and reskilling

[Shinrael]

I understand you mate. I've been through that countless times. Countless times in WoW and even more times in real life. People are nasty like that. But hang in there. It's a hilarious minority but there are some people worth it out there. Some quality people. Both irl and ingame. You will meet some eventually if you endure and believe xD "Walk always in the Light!"