If a wife is raped and gets pregnant from the rapist, is it ok for the husband...

[Christonya]

If a wife is raped and gets pregnant from the rapist, is it okay for the husband to want her to get an abortion?

Yes. But it's also OK for her to say no. That said ... Being so adamant on keeping your rapists baby would immediately make me think she wasn't raped, she had consensual sex with some one else, and wants to keep their kid.

[Huehuecoyotl]

Every time I think I can't be surprised by G-OT, another thread like this comes along.

Some of the comments here make me genuinely scared for the future of humanity. Are we raising a generation of asocial sociopaths?

A woman has been raped, and is faced with a difficult choice of either killing the fetus (which goes against her religion) or raising the child as her own. A husband is struggling to come to terms with this, probably due in part to his perceived guilt at failing to protect his wife (not suggesting it is his fault at all, but that may well be the emotion that is driving this).

And what sort of responses do we get? Attacks on the woman for not doing what the man says. Instruction to the man to leave and avoid being a "cuck". Discussions around whether a wife can ever be raped (not strictly linked to the actual story, but when has that ever stopped anyone here).

You should be ashamed of yourselves. Get some empathy, gain some compassion, and stop being such selfish, heartless dicks.

[pateuvasiliu]

Of course it's OK for her husband to ask and want her to abort the child. Any sane woman would abort the child as well or at the very least wouldn't actually expect the husband to stay and raise a child not his own and conceived by a rapist.

Personally the consideration alone of NOT aborting the child would be a red enough flag for me to divorce her immediately. She's essentially taking the side of the fetus of a rapist above her husband.

It's not that easy.

Raped people are often traumatised by the event and end up blaming THEMSELVES for being raped. And when such a thing occurs and you ask, pretty much FORCE them ( verbally ) to get an abortion with stuff like " I'm leaving if you don't " then you're adding even more GUILT to the pile.

This is a really rotten situation with loss for everyone involved.

[Vynny]

If she wants to keep it and he doesn't want to be a father to that child then sadly that means they have to separate. Her having to get an abortion would mean she's not getting what she wants, and him having to raise the child of his wife's rapist would mean that he's not getting what he wants, so the only way to avoid those unwanted situations is to get a divorce.

[HumbleDuck]

Of course it's Ok for him to ask her for an abortion, but she also is in the right to reject the request.
In the end of the day, it's ultimately the wife who should choose what to do with her body.
Having said that, the decision to keep and raise the baby in my mind is not a good choice at all.

[Vynny]

is it ok for him to want it? sure.
is it ok to insist and try to force the issue? hell no.

Why is it not okay for him to insist and force the issue? If she doesn't get an abortion and he doesn't divorce her then he's going to be forced to be a father to that child. Now if you don't consider him telling her that he'll leave if she doesn't get an abortion to be insisting or forcing the issue then that's one thing, but if you do consider that to be insisting or forcing the issue (which seems more reasonable to me) then I'd recommend looking at the other side of things see that if either side gets what they want then they're forcing the other to do something they don't want to.

to put it simply

If the wife is pressured into getting an abortion then the husband get's what he wants while the wife doesn't
If the husband is pressured into staying and raising the child then the mother get's what she wants while the husband doesn't

The only 2 solutions that don't force one party to do something they don't want to do is either a compromise like giving the child up for adoption (which is another issue entirely) or for them to separate.

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The culture of death on these forums is just disgusting.

The only question is, and will always remain, "What is it?" If it's a human life, then of course it's murderous and wretched to wish death upon it.

...oh, sorry. You all carry on inventing morality ad hoc and then masturbating over your supposed superiority.

How dare you call God almighty murderous and wretched for wishing death upon the Amalekites, homosexuals, jews, sodomites, adulterers, witches, etc!!!!! Oh wait, sorry . . . I forgot that consistency wasn't required for your morality, all that's required is that you believe it's handed down by some divine entity that can't even follow their own rules. Carry on then.

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Oh, but they do, just that said rights are not equivalent to what women have.

Pretty certain he doesn't have to pay for the child after divorce, for one.

that's actually a tricky area. It depends on whose name get's put on the birth certificate and the laws and precedents in that particular state. There have been many cases where a father found out that the child isn't theirs and were still forced to pay child support due to the fact that they were the father in name even if not in genetics.

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A real man or husband would care for HIS wife no matter the circumstances. It's no fault of the child or the wife's. Real men do what needs to be done to care for their loved ones.

and her trying to force him to raise the child of his wife's rapist is a good way to kill any love that they had together thus she would not be a "loved one" and would not be deserving of his aid. Isn't thinking things through a great practice?

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i've heard stories of dudes in similar situations injecting the womans food with small amounts of poison to try to secretly miscariage. it is horrible.

A real man would deal with the situation and support his wife through the troubling time. counselling could also help too, but it is her body and he should respect that.

and it's his life and she should respect that. A real woman wouldn't force the one she loves to raise a child that isn't his and that would be a constant reminder of the fact that he couldn't protect the one he loves. It's his life and she should respect that.

[Setheria]

Every time I think I can't be surprised by G-OT, another thread like this comes along.

Some of the comments here make me genuinely scared for the future of humanity. Are we raising a generation of asocial sociopaths?

A woman has been raped, and is faced with a difficult choice of either killing the fetus (which goes against her religion) or raising the child as her own. A husband is struggling to come to terms with this, probably due in part to his perceived guilt at failing to protect his wife (not suggesting it is his fault at all, but that may well be the emotion that is driving this).

And what sort of responses do we get? Attacks on the woman for not doing what the man says. Instruction to the man to leave and avoid being a "cuck". Discussions around whether a wife can ever be raped (not strictly linked to the actual story, but when has that ever stopped anyone here).

You should be ashamed of yourselves. Get some empathy, gain some compassion, and stop being such selfish, heartless dicks.

It's easy though for people with (I assume) poorly developed social skills and low empathy to think in extremes though.

A lot of young guys who are either going through puberty, or past it but dealing with issues of self worth and fear about sexual prowess, etc may find it an easy step to respond with 'cuck', 'torture the rapist' etc. As someone else said in a good post a page or so back, hopefully most grow up, gain more social skills and develop a more grounded self worth. In the meantime, it's not altogether surprising that they equate self worth and their commitment to a relationship on a single issue.

To respond to the OP's question:

I honestly don't know how I would respond - but then again, my wife is not religious and both of us are pro-choice. I'd think we sit down and discuss it regardless and I'd like to think I'd support her whatever her decision. Our marriage is founded on mutual love and support and we've been at it around 15 years during which there's been a fair share of testing times - nothing so extreme as this however.

It's a complex situation though, so whilst I have my own view of what might unfold in my own relationship, I wouldn't be at all hasty to judge people that would leave in such a situation.

Very little in life is black or white, and different couples have different levels of resilience. What may be game breaking for one, may ultimately make another couple stronger.

As an aside, being the provider or not of sperm is not nearly so important a thing as to be the carer, teacher, guider, supporter, etc that being a dad involves. I think it's fair to say that many people posting here are still in the mindset of being someone's child, rather than the mindset one can gain by being a parent, and it's to be expected that this informs the nature of the responses somewhat.

[xenogear3]

The husband has to pay child support, if divorce after the child is born.

He has to decide fast.

There is a high possibility that the wife wishes to get raped by that rapist.

[Vynny]

No, by sit down and talk meaning talk everything through, such as finances, how the other feels, options, etc BUT respect each other.

and your expectation for the husband to stay shows no respect for the husband whatsoever. Respect is a two way street and it's utterly disrespectful to say the husband should shut up and just serve his wife by taking care of her regardless of if she shows any respect to him or his wishes.

[Vargur]

If a wife is raped and gets pregnant from the rapist, is it okay for the husband to want her to get an abortion? Interestingly enough, a good friend of mine is in this exact situation. It's a difficult situation for all involved. She is very religious and is adamant about keeping the baby; however, he doesn't want to raise a child not his own, especially one who shares its genetics with a rapist. This has caused a huge rift in their relationship, and he's considering leaving. What would you do in this situation?

Oh look, religion strikes again.
What a shocker.

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It's easy though for people with (I assume) poorly developed social skills and low empathy to think in extremes though.

A lot of young guys who are either going through puberty, or past it but dealing with issues of self worth and fear about sexual prowess, etc may find it an easy step to respond with 'cuck', 'torture the rapist' etc. As someone else said in a good post a page or so back, hopefully most grow up, gain more social skills and develop a more grounded self worth. In the meantime, it's not altogether surprising that they equate self worth and their commitment to a relationship on a single issue.

To respond to the OP's question:

I honestly don't know how I would respond - but then again, my wife is not religious and both of us are pro-choice. I'd think we sit down and discuss it regardless and I'd like to think I'd support her whatever her decision. Our marriage is founded on mutual love and support and we've been at it around 15 years during which there's been a fair share of testing times - nothing so extreme as this however.

It's a complex situation though, so whilst I have my own view of what might unfold in my own relationship, I wouldn't be at all hasty to judge people that would leave in such a situation.

Very little in life is black or white, and different couples have different levels of resilience. What may be game breaking for one, may ultimately make another couple stronger.

As an aside, being the provider or not of sperm is not nearly so important a thing as to be the carer, teacher, guider, supporter, etc that being a dad involves. I think it's fair to say that many people posting here are still in the mindset of being someone's child, rather than the mindset one can gain by being a parent, and it's to be expected that this informs the nature of the responses somewhat.

Yeah, no. Abort and stay together or keep the baby and split up.

[mauserr]

A shitty situation, no doubt. I wouldn't know what to do in a situation like that, so I don't feel like I should give advice or talk about it, really. I do hope that in the end the people who found the rapist perhaps gave the husband a few moments with him, or at least let a word out in to the prison where he's gonna be that he's a rapist, so the married couple could maybe find a tad bit of consolation knowing that the rapist would be pretty soon given his due.

[Woop Woop]

Of course it's Ok for him to ask her for an abortion, but she also is in the right to reject the request.
In the end of the day, it's ultimately the wife who should choose what to do with her body.
Having said that, the decision to keep and raise the baby in my mind is not a good choice at all.

The husband can also give her an ultimatum, she keeps the child, he leaves.
I couldn't stay with my wife having a child born from rape, no way.

[Vynny]

Every time I think I can't be surprised by G-OT, another thread like this comes along.

Some of the comments here make me genuinely scared for the future of humanity. Are we raising a generation of asocial sociopaths?

A woman has been raped, and is faced with a difficult choice of either killing the fetus (which goes against her religion) or raising the child as her own. A husband is struggling to come to terms with this, probably due in part to his perceived guilt at failing to protect his wife (not suggesting it is his fault at all, but that may well be the emotion that is driving this).

And what sort of responses do we get? Attacks on the woman for not doing what the man says. Instruction to the man to leave and avoid being a "cuck". Discussions around whether a wife can ever be raped (not strictly linked to the actual story, but when has that ever stopped anyone here).

You should be ashamed of yourselves. Get some empathy, gain some compassion, and stop being such selfish, heartless dicks.

It seems like you're either failing to empathize with the husband or prioritizing empathizing with the wife above the husband. You know, it's a shitty situation that doesn't really have any good outcome, but rather than empathizing with both people, the husband and wife, you're disregarding one for the other. I mean look at your own words, "A husband is struggling to come to terms with this . . .", you're speaking as if the husband has no say or voice in this situation and that he just has to accept whatever his wife chooses for him. My recommendation for him to leave is based on the fact that he has no right to force her to get an abortion when she doesn't want to, but she has no right to force him to raise a child that isn't his thus they're at an impasse and the only way to avoid one party being forced into doing the thing they don't want to do is to end the relationship.

Not to get all preachy on you, but before you shame others, try taking a look in the mirror because in your post you talk about what the husband should do as if he were a servant rather than an equal partner in the relationship which shows a complete lack of empathy or compassion, and an abundance of selfishness, heartlessness, and dickishness.

Also, I don't endorse the foul views and statements made by others on this thread, but part of the problem is that many men are sick and tired of how no one ever cares to consider what the man is dealing with like you and others on this thread who show utter disregard for him when he's a victim in this situation too (not as much mind you, but he's still a victim of this whole ordeal).

[xenogear3]

If the wife was really raped and hates the rapist, why does anyone want to have this child?

It will cause lots of pain later, especially the child.
It is unfair for the child.

[Deleted]

If she truely loved her husband, she would not have that child. Otherwise she is just trash.

[Flarelaine]

If the wife was really raped and hates the rapist, why does anyone want to have this child?

It will cause lots of pain later, especially the child.
It is unfair for the child.

Because religion.

Unfair is fair if you are religious since there is a guy in the sky who made it so and he likes it that way so you better like it as well.

[HumbleDuck]

The husband can also give her an ultimatum, she keeps the child, he leaves.
I couldn't stay with my wife having a child born from rape, no way.

The premise is that the wife already made her mind.
Of course the husband can leave her, but that's a different choice in which husband holds the right be a part of.

[Deleted]

Because religion.

Oh come on, there are more than one religion. Just switch to another more reliable god.

[muto]

He should abandon ship if she plans on keeping it. That whole situation will be a shitstorm when the child gets older.

[Mormolyce]

Yeah, you aren't your mother's child. You are only half her child.

I'm my parents' child, at least biologically. "It's his child" doesn't really make sense, because it's just as much hers.