2016-2017 NFL Thread

[xskarma]

I really need to post more next season, didn't make it.

Yeah, I did not make nearly that often, I need to up my shitposting.

@xskarma Thanks man this was great read. Apepi you talking about yourself in third person a lot.

Yeah cutting a whole thread down to bite sizes means a lot of more mundane chatter gets lost. I made an effort to include everyone if I saw a good post and to mix it up if people made similar posts but I knew someone wasn't in the sections (much or at all).

But the one sure way to get in is to make a good joke, so just be funny next year and I'll probably include you 10 times if needed. (alternatively just make a post about how the Browns will make the playoffs and you'll be on the list too, cause that's hilarious when they pick top 5 again OR amazing when they do make it (or almost make it)).

[Crackleslap]

All in all had a great first season! Thoroughly enjoyed watching it. Even if a lot of the play offs games were blowouts was still interesting! Definitely sticking around! Hopefully I get to a top 10 poster in the next thread! got decently close this one. Still have much learning to do!

[xskarma]

Lets be real my post about Cowboys losing to Giants was fairly obvious was gonna happen! :P

I also had in white, and small writing that I would poison @xskarma in his sleep if the patriots won. No one saw, but I did mention it! :P - Better look out!

You sneaky fucker! I did not see that, no. Damn, and you kept quiet about that too till now.


Wait.



You only mention this cause you already executed your plan.

That glass I just took a sip out of.......?!

I KNEW IT TASTED FUNNY


*URGH*

[Crissi]

To be fair, mine was only half infamous! He did get injured, but Dak the savior saved us with his twin Zeke!

[Milchshake]

Dak is the next Kaep or RG3 IMO.

I'm sure Jerry Jones will put his own weird twist on it. Does he simply decide to hang onto Romo for longer than seems practical?

[Vetali]

remember folks, one wrong post and you'll end up on next seasons wall of shame!

[Crackleslap]

You sneaky fucker! I did not see that, no. Damn, and you kept quiet about that too till now.


Wait.



You only mention this cause you already executed your plan.

That glass I just took a sip out of.......?!

I KNEW IT TASTED FUNNY


*URGH*

RIPERINO.

Inb4 Buccaneers in superbowl next year keeping the NFC south trend alive as of late. & then losing.

- - - Updated - - -

remember folks, one wrong post and you'll end up on next seasons wall of shame!

I already did. With the post above me. I'm sure it'll come to haunt me somehow.

[Grube]

Bears free agents got hurt for the most part, can't really predict injuries (other than from the Madden curse evidently). If they stayed healthy they might have been ok, same boat as the Chargers.

5 out 8 division winners isn't too bad considering one miss was a homer pick and I made the mistake of expecting the Colts to not suck on another. Did better than I thought with picking the orders for the NFCW and NFCN with the Lions as a WC too.

My early crumbles pick is the Falcons, just because that is how the NFCS goes.

[xskarma]

remember folks, one wrong post and you'll end up on next seasons wall of shame!

-_-

Don't be like that!

Besides, if you can't have a laugh at yourself for something you said about sportsball, you probably need to tone down the serious face.


SO DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, KEEP POSTING FUNNY SHIT

Like this:


Wait what?


Woz

I'll actually take a dump in my pants and wear them for a week.

Denkou

The Dolphins are making a pretty big splash in free agency this year

Denkou

I don't want to get shot or stabbed.

xskarma

Fuck this shit, I have 27 kids and they need their dad

Crissi, obviously lying

I didnt do it I swear!

xskarma

Getting Dallas'ed sounds like a sexual act involving a cowboy hat

draynay

It was like looking into the face of Medusa...

draynay

Things are pretty boring, maybe some more dudes will maim themselves with explosives today.

Kyanion

Geez you didn't even let the corpse finish cooling first.

Vetali

didn't he get caught jerking off in a parking lot or something?

Crissi

Necks are kind of vital

Crissi

Yeah, needs to work on finishing. Kinda like my ex BF

Pendulous

Getting sick of these chair farts from the commentators in this game.

xskarma

They do a lot of things together so maybe they'll share the sack

Piglord

This game is as slow as old people fucking.

Piglord

Holy shit, my dog once ate an orange crayon. When he shit it out it looked exactly like Denver's uniform.

draynay

So now that OBJ and the kicking net are getting married is he gonna start hitting it again? I only ask because I know the Giants support spousal abuse.

draynay

I'm not rich enough to bet on the 2016 Bears.

draynay

JPP COULDN'T QUITE GET A FINGER ON THAT PASS

Vetali

will sell body for Joe Thomas.

Pendulous

Brown penis anyone?

apepi

I am a dumbass. But hopefully I ain't dumber than the Browns.

draynay

Probably tastes like farts.

Netherfall

Seattle's color rush uniforms reminds me of Nickelodeon slime.

thevoicefromwithin

Young QBs at times are almost as much fun as young dogs.

Vetali

Russell Wilson bought his O line UHD TVs. So his O line can watch film and see their missed blocks in 4k.

thevoicefromwithin

the Redskins are harder to keep down than your average horror flick zombie.

[Vetali]

-_-

Don't be like that!

Besides, if you can't have a laugh at yourself for something you said about sportsball, you probably need to tone down the serious face.


SO DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, KEEP POSTING FUNNY SHIT

Like this:

Thats why I'm the lack of seriousness. When you take sportsball too serious it ends up in disappointment and broken things.

[4KhazModan]

@xskarma

In my defense, I never specified WHEN the Eagles will win the Super Bowl. They could win it in 10 years!

[xskarma]

@xskarma

In my defense, I never specified WHEN the Eagles will win the Super Bowl. They could win it in 10 years!

With Carson Wentz they very well might.



Also, I could have cheated and added this in the section (but it was actually from the playoffs, though far more apt in the section I just posted)


draynay not knowing I was going through the whole thread collecting quotes yet

Mind those out of context quotes!

- - - Updated - - -

Thats why I'm the lack of seriousness. When you take sportsball too serious it ends up in disappointment and broken things.

Errr, well, I don't take it too seriously, but then I almost broke something in my hand jumping up after the Superbowl was won, sooooooo, broken things may happen still.

[apepi]

yeah cutting a whole thread down to bite sizes means a lot of more mundane chatter gets lost. I made an effort to include everyone if i saw a good post and to mix it up if people made similar posts but i knew someone wasn't in the sections (much or at all).

But the one sure way to get in is to make a good joke, so just be funny next year and i'll probably include you 10 times if needed. :d (alternatively just make a post about how the browns will make the playoffs and you'll be on the list too, cause that's hilarious when they pick top 5 again or amazing when they do make it (or almost make it)).

This is just in!

Apepi is predicting the browns will make the playoffs! Apepi reports the browns will make the playoffs!

[Crissi]

I am proud of my shitposting!

Also, I still didn't do it!

*whistles*

[xskarma]

This is just in!

Apepi is predicting the browns will make the playoffs! Apepi reports the browns will make the playoffs!

Haha, dude, too late, thread is done. Or too early for next season's thread, I guess.

Next season's free agency starts 9th of March so the new thread will go up 6th of March or there abouts. Save it till then, it's just 4 weeks or so!

[Vetali]

Errr, well, I don't take it too seriously, but then I almost broke something in my hand jumping up after the Superbowl was won, sooooooo, broken things may happen still.

You really find out what the true sportsball fan you are for your sanity after losing something like the seahawks did in SB49.

I used to view football as an "injection" of happiness to get through the following week. Not so much anymore as I have distanced my deeper feelings from it realizing that I was dumb to attach my emotions to something out of my control.

[Pendulous]

Did we discuss this in here? Matt Ryan reportedly was screaming at Shanahan to "run the damn ball!".

I guess they don't run an offense with audibles, and all the plays are called by the OC, period. Would explain why Ryan couldn't audible out of them, still doesn't explain why Shanahan went full blown insane in the second half.

[Crackleslap]

With the #1 and #12 pick you wanna hope that Cleveland wins the draft and not have their pick get injured badly on the very first training session, get a staph infection and then later the player sues the company. no,no,no.

[xskarma]

You really find out what the true sportsball fan you are for your sanity after losing something like the seahawks did in SB49.

I used to view football as an "injection" of happiness to get through the following week. Not so much anymore as I have distanced my deeper feelings from it realizing that I was dumb to attach my emotions to something out of my control.

Mhmm, my first season following football was the 2007 season. Patriots had the Spygate thing happen and all the news about them seemed to be how they were under fire and questioned. They responded with an us vs them mentality and kept winning game after game.

I was an unmedicated mental patient at that time and everything about this us vs them mentality and their constant winning despite it all were very much what you called "an injection of happiness".

Then we went into the Superbowl and things went to shit early, and then the helmet catch happened and the Plaxico TD and Brady missed Moss by a hair and then it was game over and it sucked balls and I was very much faced with the fact I'd let these wins pump me up and that with this unexpected loss I was robbed of this.

I came to the same conclusion you did, that attaching myself to it like that was a recipe for disappointment, cause no team wins everything all the time and it was sure to lead to massive disappointment at some point. (In fact it had just done that)

So, yeah, I hear you. Football is fun and some of the most exhilerating stuff you can do while sitting on your ass watching a screen, but it's a bad substitute for leading a healthy mental life.


(I got on meds and therapy about 6 months after that btw and been slowly getting better since.)

[draynay]

I would live and die with my team, except that I would be DEAD DEAD DEAD because they SUCK SUCK SUCK.