Thats not the complete story. Occupation is necessary i fully agree, but the will to change is also very important. The atrocities committed by Germany and Japan during WW2 were revealed right after the war, which changed the mindset of the majority of both populations. That "the cause was righteous" helped enormous, together with the Marshall plans.
What is happening the last 2 decades is "bomb the shit out of them" and "see what happens". There is no plan with a vision implemented, and that doesn't work. Even a downer could foresee that.