Why is virgin shaming a thing?

[Deleted]

Yes. It's a common question doctors ask.

Correct.

This needs so much more context, it's not a simple yes or no question. It's often follow-ups: How does it affect someone in their day to day life? Mental health? STDs?

[Freighter]

Virgin is from virgo, meaning "maiden", ie a young woman who is virgo intacto - her hymen isn't broken.

It only began to be applied to men relatively recently.

Hymen isn't broken? Really? Anatomical knowledge = zero?

[Deleted]

It's because people hate to see how some people become powerful wizards. They get jealous and try to shame the yet to become wizards so that they will fall before reaching their goal.

[Deleted]

Virgin is from virgo, meaning "maiden", ie a young woman who is virgo intacto - her hymen isn't broken.

It only began to be applied to men relatively recently.

A penis hymen would be helpful I guess., gives the 'broken dick' a new twist, literally.

- - - Updated - - -

It's because people hate to see how some people become powerful wizards. They get jealous and try to shame the yet to become wizards so that they will fall before reaching their goal.

Warlock life aint that bad, man.

[Nyoken]

This is not meant as flaming in any way, I'm serious about this. I think you need to see a psychiatrist. If you're talking about not caring about the fact that you never had sex and never kissed a girl at that age, as someone who isn't asexual, and you're talking about having gone through so much shit in your life and having accepted that this will never happen for you, I sounds like you need the help of a professional. People like you are in danger of becoming suicidal.

Hahah no offense taken, I get your point! I feel really good, might not sound like it but. Just putting it out there from my point of view, on how it looks. All i'm saying is, i've got to the point where most things in my life, feel perfectly normal to me, and they probably may seem insane to others. It's like I said about accepting stuff, some things are really tough to accept, but you learn to do it, and then you're fine with it. But really...i'm happy and at peace with myself, and suicidal?? I'm gonna live until i'm 110 :P Anyways...gonna leave you alone, I just come here to read about gaming stuff....just most of these topics are ever so mind blowing to me, have to click on them every now and then to understand what they're about.

Take care and good night.

[Mormolyce]

Hymen isn't broken? Really? Anatomical knowledge = zero?

Yes, anatomical knowledge was (by modern standards) appalling throughout the classical period and middle ages when this concept was socially relevant. And still in many parts of the world today.

P.S. I know hymens don't actually break. It's not my stupid concept.

[Spiral Mage]

Also, people like making fun of other people in order to feel better about themselves. For whatever reasons.

Bang, there's the answer.
Ultimately, everyone's life goes differently.

Some people find themselves in very healthy social circles, others do not.
If you don't have a wide social outlet, you'll find your options limited or eliminated entirely.
Like, let's say you don't go to college. That can be a big reason.

I had a friend who moved around in jr. high and high school alot. Always a new town, always a new school.
Military kid. Go figure, eh?
I'm not saying you should be losing it in high school but it is an example of how the shifting ebb and flow of your real life in relation to your social outlets can cripple you and you're not at fault at all.
There was nothing wrong with the kid, he just kept having to move, constantly. It happens.

In the end, everyone has their own reasons. Personal or external.
I'd never make fun of anyone for it.
I might ask outta curiosity but if I had any further response, it'd be to offer help and advice maybe.

I know someone who else who is husky and his parents BEAT THE CONFIDENCE RIGHT OUT OF HIM.
He's convinced he's a loser. I've been trying to prop up his positive traits and explain the value of them,
but it hasn't worked out so well. His parents did a real number on him.

In the end: Shit happens. Life happens.

[callipygoustp]

Yes. It's a common question doctors ask.

Can't remember the last time I had a check up in which my doctor didn't ask me about my sex life. Thinking on it, I'm not sure why she asks, but, she does and my response is included in the patient notes for each visit. *shrug*

[Freighter]

Can't remember the last time I had a check up in which my doctor didn't ask me about my sex life. Thinking on it, I'm not sure why she asks, but, she does and my response is included in the patient notes for each visit. *shrug*

Can't remember ever being asked about it by a gp.

[Deleted]

I've been asked every single time since my 18th. Also with other specialists. But it has its reasons.

[callipygoustp]

Can't remember ever being asked about it by a gp.

Maybe it's an age thing. I'm 48, closing in on 49 atm. How old are you, if you don't mind sharing?

[Freighter]

Maybe it's an age thing. I'm 48, closing in on 49 atm. How old are you, if you don't mind sharing?

Earlier 20s.

[Deleted]

Maybe it's an age thing. I'm 48, closing in on 49 atm. How old are you, if you don't mind sharing?

Earlier 20s.

It's a date!

[Stonecloak]

I mean, procreating obviously has to be a popular thing for a species for it to continue to exist. I think that's all there is to it from a biological standpoint. It's supposed to be pleasing so we continue to reproduce, but us complicated humans make it into some kind of pleasure sport, competitive thing, like anything else I suppose. Being a virgin is only bad if you're trying to reproduce. If you're not trying to reproduce, then there's really no problem. It's certainly a strong biological urge, some are life driven by it, but sex is what it is, for reproduction.

[Deleted]

Hahah no offense taken, I get your point! I feel really good, might not sound like it but. Just putting it out there from my point of view, on how it looks. All i'm saying is, i've got to the point where most things in my life, feel perfectly normal to me, and they probably may seem insane to others. It's like I said about accepting stuff, some things are really tough to accept, but you learn to do it, and then you're fine with it. But really...i'm happy and at peace with myself, and suicidal?? I'm gonna live until i'm 110 :P Anyways...gonna leave you alone, I just come here to read about gaming stuff....just most of these topics are ever so mind blowing to me, have to click on them every now and then to understand what they're about.

Take care and good night.

You know what it is? Humans are great at adapting. You have no sexual relationships in your life and your mind had to adapt to that. Humans are capable of adapting to anything. Right now, we all feel very good, cuddled behind our screens, browsing the forums and playing videogames. If our internet would go away right now, it would be fucking hell. But imagine it never comes back. You'd adapt and eventually you'd be like "I don't even need the internet. Why did people ever need the internet? There was a time before the internet. Sure the internet is nice, but now I'm going out more." And you can take this further and further. Even if we had to go back to living in caves or in the jungle, having to hunt our own food, you'd eventually adapt. It's the human spirit. It's how we survived.

You could become a bum, and you would eventually adapt and get used to eating food from garbage bins. "This isn't so bad. At least I'm still alive." But what life is that to live?

If you get a girfriend, and you fall in love, and then eventually it ends, you'll probably be heart-broken. You'll be miserable. There's a time before you met that person, and you were fine. But now that this person has been in your life for so long, and is now gone, all of a sudden it's like a piece from you is missing. But again, even in this situation, you'll eventually adapt, and it will be like before.

So you could look at that and say "yeah, why do I need sex or a girlfriend that loves me, I don't miss it right now... I'm happy the way things are".

But if you're anything like me, or most other people, you'll have to admit that there are moments where you want more from life than what you have right now. You don't want the only sexual experience you're gonna have in your entire life to be that of your own hand touching your wiener. You will want to experience more than just that. You will want to know what it feels like to put your penis into the warm and moist vagina of a sweet girl. You will want to know what it feels like to touch the warm and soft skin of a person lying next to you. You will want to seek the emotional bond to another human being. Chances are, you are thinking about these things every night before you go to sleep, maybe hugging yourself a little bit, imagining that it is someone else hugging you. And the next morning you wake up, do whatever it is you do every morning, go to work, come home, play videogames, and these thoughts are deep buried, and you feel fine. But they will resurface. Again. And again. And again. Even if only briefly.

This is normal. Humans are not meant to be alone. Not forever anyway. Realize that it doesn't have to be this way. Realize that there is no reason why your desires have to go unfulfilled. Admit that you are not completely indifferent to this. No heterosexual man is. Every man has needs. If these needs aren't met, we compensate by doing other things. Like masturbating. But while masturbating, you will eventually think of fucking a girl. You will eventually come and then you might think "how much better would it be if I was actually having sex with the girl I was picturing in my head". You might go outside and see girls with nice asses and think "wow, how lucky I would be to fuck that girl".

You can.

If you are still reading this, and chances are you are long gone and haven't even made it here, but if you are still reading this, here is my advice.

1) Stop masturbating.
And I mean completely. It will be hard at first, and it doesn't mean you can never masturbate ever again. Masturbating is natural and the desire to do it is nothing to be ashamed of. But try and aim for not masturbating. Start with a day. Then eventually try not to masturbate for a few days. Then a week. Then a month. The hardest will be, when after a week of not masturbating, you do it, and then automatically start to do it several times in rapid succession. I usually have this problem, that I will not masturbate for a whoie week, and then all of a sudden masturbate 3-5 times that day I break my streak. And then go back to business as usual. It's really hard to stop again once you've started again. So this will take a while to get the hang of.

Why do it? Cause too much masturbating zaps your energy. It desensitizes you, which makes your orgasms feel less and less intense the more you masturbate. And it actually reduces your motivation to pursue women. It makes you content to just stay at home and whack your snake, so why deal with women, where you can be rejected and be embarrassed?

And stop watching porn altogether. It creates unrealistic expectations, it desensitizes you even more, making you develop weirder and weirder sexual fetishes to compensate and who the fuck wants to watch some guy fuck a woman that you wanna fuck? That's just one step away from being a cuck.

2) Hit the gym
If you don't already do this. This will improve your looks, your health and it will raise your testosterone levels. Plus you get to see gorgeous women every day, keeping you motivated and showing you every day why you're doing this. To be experiencing ecstasy with a woman like that.

3) Study game
The best place to start is probably Return of Kings, and Roosh V's youtube channel. Buy and read at least "Bang" and "Day Bang" from Roosh, and browse RoK and watch some of Roosh's videos. And don't let anyone tell you anything about Roosh or PUA's. Their advice can help you improve yourself and help you get laid. No matter how impossible it might seem to you to be able to approach, talk to and bang hot girls, it is all about confidence and trying. Sure, you need to look somewhat good. If you're fat, you need to lose weight or lower your standards. But if you are at least average-looking, confidence and the sheer effort you put into approaching women WILL get you laid guaranteed. Some good videos to start are probably these.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OS6klYYrkfo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwVF_T_E1rk

Look there's no reason to be ashamed if you're alone. There is no reason to be ashamed if you're a virgin. No reason to be ashamed if you're fat, shy, a nerd, unexperienced with women etc. The only thing to be ashamed of is having given up. Be honest with yourself. Be honest and tell me you are not sometimes desiring sex with beautiful women. Be honest and tell me you are not sometimes wishing for more than you have right now. Be honest and tell me you don't sometimes wish you could be a better version of yourself.

[TheCount]

My rule of thumb for people like this is, if you care so much about my sex life then yours probably ain't so great either.
Virgin shaming? I mean I knew it happens in high schools, but I would have thought by your early 20s guys would have realized that how much sex you have is not really a measure of success.

[Stonecloak]

You know what it is? Humans are great at adapting. You have no sexual relationships in your life and your mind had to adapt to that. Humans are capable of adapting to anything. Right now, we all feel very good, cuddled behind our screens, browsing the forums and playing videogames. If our internet would go away right now, it would be fucking hell. But imagine it never comes back. You'd adapt and eventually you'd be like "I don't even need the internet. Why did people ever need the internet? There was a time before the internet. Sure the internet is nice, but now I'm going out more." And you can take this further and further. Even if we had to go back to living in caves or in the jungle, having to hunt our own food, you'd eventually adapt. It's the human spirit. It's how we survived.

You could become a bum, and you would eventually adapt and get used to eating food from garbage bins. "This isn't so bad. At least I'm still alive." But what life is that to live?

If you get a girfriend, and you fall in love, and then eventually it ends, you'll probably be heart-broken. You'll be miserable. There's a time before you met that person, and you were fine. But now that this person has been in your life for so long, and is now gone, all of a sudden it's like a piece from you is missing. But again, even in this situation, you'll eventually adapt, and it will be like before.

So you could look at that and say "yeah, why do I need sex or a girlfriend that loves me, I don't miss it right now... I'm happy the way things are".

But if you're anything like me, or most other people, you'll have to admit that there are moments where you want more from life than what you have right now. You don't want the only sexual experience you're gonna have in your entire life to be that of your own hand touching your wiener. You will want to experience more than just that. You will want to know what it feels like to put your penis into the warm and moist vagina of a sweet girl. You will want to know what it feels like to touch the warm and soft skin of a person lying next to you. You will want to seek the emotional bond to another human being. Chances are, you are thinking about these things every night before you go to sleep, maybe hugging yourself a little bit, imagining that it is someone else hugging you. And the next morning you wake up, do whatever it is you do every morning, go to work, come home, play videogames, and these thoughts are deep buried, and you feel fine. But they will resurface. Again. And again. And again. Even if only briefly.

This is normal. Humans are not meant to be alone. Not forever anyway. Realize that it doesn't have to be this way. Realize that there is no reason why your desires have to go unfulfilled. Admit that you are not completely indifferent to this. No heterosexual man is. Every man has needs. If these needs aren't met, we compensate by doing other things. Like masturbating. But while masturbating, you will eventually think of fucking a girl. You will eventually come and then you might think "how much better would it be if I was actually having sex with the girl I was picturing in my head". You might go outside and see girls with nice asses and think "wow, how lucky I would be to fuck that girl".

You can.

If you are still reading this, and chances are you are long gone and haven't even made it here, but if you are still reading this, here is my advice.

1) Stop masturbating.
And I mean completely. It will be hard at first, and it doesn't mean you can never masturbate ever again. Masturbating is natural and the desire to do it is nothing to be ashamed of. But try and aim for not masturbating. Start with a day. Then eventually try not to masturbate for a few days. Then a week. Then a month. The hardest will be, when after a week of not masturbating, you do it, and then automatically start to do it several times in rapid succession. I usually have this problem, that I will not masturbate for a whoie week, and then all of a sudden masturbate 3-5 times that day I break my streak. And then go back to business as usual. It's really hard to stop again once you've started again. So this will take a while to get the hang of.

Why do it? Cause too much masturbating zaps your energy. It desensitizes you, which makes your orgasms feel less and less intense the more you masturbate. And it actually reduces your motivation to pursue women. It makes you content to just stay at home and whack your snake, so why deal with women, where you can be rejected and be embarrassed?

And stop watching porn altogether. It creates unrealistic expectations, it desensitizes you even more, making you develop weirder and weirder sexual fetishes to compensate and who the fuck wants to watch some guy fuck a woman that you wanna fuck? That's just one step away from being a cuck.

2) Hit the gym
If you don't already do this. This will improve your looks, your health and it will raise your testosterone levels. Plus you get to see gorgeous women every day, keeping you motivated and showing you every day why you're doing this. To be experiencing ecstasy with a woman like that.

3) Study game
The best place to start is probably Return of Kings, and Roosh V's youtube channel. Buy and read at least "Bang" and "Day Bang" from Roosh, and browse RoK and watch some of Roosh's videos. And don't let anyone tell you anything about Roosh or PUA's. Their advice can help you improve yourself and help you get laid. No matter how impossible it might seem to you to be able to approach, talk to and bang hot girls, it is all about confidence and trying. Sure, you need to look somewhat good. If you're fat, you need to lose weight or lower your standards. But if you are at least average-looking, confidence and the sheer effort you put into approaching women WILL get you laid guaranteed. Some good videos to start are probably these.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OS6klYYrkfo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwVF_T_E1rk

Look there's no reason to be ashamed if you're alone. There is no reason to be ashamed if you're a virgin. No reason to be ashamed if you're fat, shy, a nerd, unexperienced with women etc. The only thing to be ashamed of is having given up. Be honest with yourself. Be honest and tell me you are not sometimes desiring sex with beautiful women. Be honest and tell me you are not sometimes wishing for more than you have right now. Be honest and tell me you don't sometimes wish you could be a better version of yourself.

For someone just settling, sure, I can see your point, but living a single life is becoming more and more relevant every passing year. I believe there's more single people than married now, and that percentage is increasing. There's no reason to force an institution on people who don't really want it, or value it. Happiness can't be quantified, and we're all unique individuals. What's "happy" for one may be misery for another. Some people dream of the picked white fence life with the wife and kids, and then when they get it, they realize it isn't what they thought it was.

[mickybrighteyes]

I mean sure, if you are a virgin by 20 or 30 it'd be weird, but still, why do people care so much about your virginity?

questions virgin shaming's existence... proceeds to virgin shame with their question...

10/10

[Drunkenfinn]

It's pretty common for people to make fun of something that's "uncommon", who knew?

Not a virgin, but on a 9 year dry-spell and my friends make fun of it all the time. It's pretty much well known joke at this point.

I was pretty good looking and athletic when I was 16-19 so I got laid a lot without really trying, somehow. Now that my looks have kind of deteriorated (I gained quite a bit of weight) it's become pretty hard if not impossible to get laid.

I have good social skills, but I'm terrible at hitting on women. In fact, I don't think I've ever really made the first move, not even when I actually had some self-confidence to speak of. It just happened.

And now that I've become what I am it's become kind of hard to approach women I find attractive and the women that sometimes try to hit on me aren't really my cup of tea. And the few times when acceptable females have tried to get it on with me, I've been too oblivious to their hints to make anything out of the situation as I've thought there's no way this kind of girl would actually be interested in me.

Should lose some weight and hit the gym again, but I'm a lazy fuck :P

[Granyala]

The drive to have sex is still an animal's biological purpose.

The intensity of said drive varies from person to person though.
My friend was pretty obsessed about it and it was enough motivation for him to get ripped.
My own drive barely exceeds the intensity one could describe as "mild curiosity about the process".

There are a lot more factors to real world sex that are off putting to me than alluring. The fact that medical personnel gave me the advice NOT to have children due to genetic reasons essentially made the whole "reproduction" argument null and void.

- - - Updated - - -

We have an inherent desire for sex and intimate relationships. We need the warm and soft touch of another person. We need to feel the intimacy and closeness, both physical and emotional, of another person. You want to be loved. You want someone to want you.

Of course, I just face facts and know that it is quite unrealistic for me to ever experience that.

- - - Updated - - -

I've been too oblivious to their hints to make anything out of the situation

*chuckles* Oh yes, the hidden language of humans, gee how I hate human communication at times.

Had one of those insist that I was flirting with her. Was a difficult thing to convince her that I have 0 clue what that's supposed to be and that I was merely being friendly.
I'd wager that a women would have to hut me over the head with a wooden plank in order for me to get the "subtle hint".
It's a general problem with me, I often don't get what people want to tell me unless they speak it plainly.