Would you consider an open relationship?

[Protean]

At one point, I had 3 girlfriends and they all didn't know about it.

I would just plan my time to spend a little time with each of them regularly so they would all continue to be my girlfriends.

I got a lot of bedroom time during that time in my life!

Eventually I broke it off with all three of them after I had my fun. They still don't know about it to this day.

That's not an open relationship. And not even a special thing, we've all been teenagers at one point in our lives.

[HumbleDuck]

If you mean sleeping with hookers by that, yes, totally.
But if you mean emotional relationship, I'm against it, open or closed.

[Kathandira]

Sure, so long as the parameters were agreed upon, and upheld.

[Shadowferal]

To me an open relationship is about sex and not about a growing relationship.
And if you've rules/parameters then it's not open.

[downnola]

There really is a lot of insecurity creeping around on these forums...

Alright, I'll give you my take on it, as a polyamorous guy who has been both in open and monogamous relationships, and with single and multiple people involved, I think I have a decent shot at explaining some of you what it actually entails and why it really isn't so "weird" to consider.

Ask yourself what you are looking for in your partner. I think most will answer "I am looking for someone to complete myself". Now consider how unfair that actually is towards your partner, as nobody is perfect, and happiness should not depend on someone being in your life or not.

Having multiple partners is admitting to yourself that multiple people can offer things in a relationship that are unique, worthwhile and worth keeping. This is unfortunately the essence of a lot of cheaters in monogamous relationships too. They look for things that their partner cannot offer them in others, but keep it a secret rather then talk about it in the open. They have a feeling they have to choose, and obviously have little faith in their partner being understanding of it. In other words, insecurity.

Having multiple partners is admitting to yourself that multiple people can offer things in a relationship that are unique, worthwhile and worth keeping. This is unfortunately the essence of a lot of cheaters in monogamous relationships too. They look for things that their partner cannot offer them in others, but keep it a secret rather then talk about it in the open. They have a feeling they have to choose, and obviously have little faith in their partner being understanding of it. In other words, insecurity.

Now for lasting relationships. I understand many feel like open relationships cannot last. And I ask myself why. It is just like any other relationship, you keep honest and stay open, and talk about things. Of course since there are multiple people involved, that means that the odds of not being compatible with one of them is a little bigger as when you're with one person solely. However a good friend of mine has been in an open relationship since he was 18 and he is now 33, just goes to show that if all those involved want to make something work, they will make it work.

Questions? shoot, I will try to answer

People who seek monogamous relationships don't do so simply out of insecurity, they do it because they want to grow with another person while also being the ideal way to raise children. I'm sure there are people out there who are perfectly capable of open relationships, but they're the exception; not the norm.

Relationships thrive on honesty regardless of how open or closed they are. Open relationships are rooted in the honesty of their openness, but I've seen a number of them fail because one half of the relationship wasn't fully on board with the openness of the relationship. If the relationship didn't start with one person not being fully honest about the desire for an open relationship, the feelings they had for their partner eventually matured to the point where they longer wanted the relationship open. If people manage to maintain open relationships with a full degree of honesty and openness then more power to them, but I have yet to witness one last with a large degree of success. I'm sure there are many cases where they have, but again I think they're rare.

I do agree that people often seek partners to "complete" themselves out of naivety, and as a result seek out unrealistic and idealized models of what a partner should be. However, trying to find meaning in a relationship is precisely why we bother forming lasting bonds with our sexual partners. Otherwise, we would only mate for the purposes of reproduction like other species do.

[Selastan]

At this point I would consider ANY type of relationship...

[Elise the Seeker]

Sounds like an STD waiting to happen.

[Swalload]

Not for me, but I'd sooner do one than these three way relationships starting to pop up

I saw that shit, I had a good laugh.

"They call themselves a throuple." Jesus christ lol, my face still hurts from laughing so hard.

On topic: Nope.

[Deleted]

At this point I would consider ANY type of relationship...

A better relationship with yourself sounds like a great starter. That's what I am doing.

[Toogoodman]

An "Open Relationship" isnt a relationship, its just messing around with someone on a regular basis. If you're FWB, sure go ahead, but relationships are usually bases on exclusivity, otherwise its pointless and non connected. Swingers, is probably a slightly difference concept, since its the couple usually engaging with another couple, but open relationship usually implies that you go on dates with other people? which is a pretty stupid concept.

[Rudkobing]

No, because I don't want my wife having sex with other people.

[Rotted]

I saw that shit, I had a good laugh.

"They call themselves a throuple." Jesus christ lol, my face still hurts from laughing so hard.

On topic: Nope.

What made me laugh even more when I watched a segment of a interview with one such triple, (two boys and one girl) they said they never ever have threesomes, sexually they keep it as a couple.

I'm sat there literally like, THATS NOT A THREE WAY RELATIONSHIP THEN. I'm sorry but unless your practicing celibacy you can't claim to be in a three way relationship if your not comfortable to have sex - atleast at the same time as the 2nd partner

[Swalload]

What made me laugh even more when I watched a segment of a interview with one such triple, (two boys and one girl) they said they never ever have threesomes, sexually they keep it as a couple.

I'm sat there literally like, THATS NOT A THREE WAY RELATIONSHIP THEN. I'm sorry but unless your practicing celibacy you can't claim to be in a three way relationship if your not comfortable to have sex - atleast at the same time as the 2nd partner

Like that defeats the whole purpose, it's just 2 couples with 3 people total, that's it, it's simply voluntary cuckolding at this point, rofl.

[Deleted]

I would not even share myself with anyone, why then share something I don't even own? Makes no sense to me.

[Daneman]

no.

also, op, you used to be like this nationalistic, kinda racist pro-white euro heritage persona. now you're acting a bit like a cuck.

it's shit like this that makes me think there's online campaigns to influence people in certain ways, social engineering shit.

(Infracted)

What made you think that I am pro-white euro heritage? I don't give a shit about white people most of the time, I mostly give a shit about danish people and other nordic people. For all I care we could deport all the poles, romanians and balkans and denmark would be better off as a society. I don't like east europeans. I don't like balkan people.

Fuck, I even have a thai girlfriend. Pro-white euro heritage?

[Deleted]

What made you think that I am pro-white euro heritage? I don't give a shit about white people most of the time, I mostly give a shit about danish people and other nordic people. For all I care we could deport all the poles, romanians and balkans and denmark would be better off as a society. I don't like east europeans. I don't like balkan people.

Fuck, I even have a thai girlfriend. Pro-white euro heritage?

Adopt me! Most people here from the US think Dutch are Danes anyway.

I'll bring the best cheese.

[melodramocracy]

Hard to say... probably not. When I was younger, I would have said absolutely not.

The issue is two-fold....for one, loyalty outside of the sexual aspect of the relationship would inevitably come into question, which then strains the nature of the relationship itself. Secondly, any affairs on the side would be somewhat pointless adventures with no room to potentially grow.

I guess "to what degree would you consider an open relationship" would be a more interesting question. Your SO takes off for a weekend with his / her friends every year to <insert random getaway here> that you simply don't ask details about? Or is this like a "my calendar is booked with 2 other chicks for the next month, I'll get milk on the way home" sort of thing?