Falling marriage rates signifies a cultural shift that hurts our children and economy

[Jinpachi]

When people learn that marriage and relationships are about being selfless, and putting their partners needs ahead of their own, maybe we could see a change. Until then, the number of people getting married will continue to drop. A successful relationship is not about what you are getting out of it.

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You might not be, but you sound American. Americans (and some Canadians, even less Europeans) have this weird cultural cult of marriage.

Sorry, but the west doesn't have a monopoly on the "cultural cult" of marriage, if that's even a thing. Last i checked it started long before those two countries did.

[Tennis]

If you think about it, it's the more selfish and untrustworthy people who are going to be averse to marriage since they want the opportunity to end it quickly without facing any penalty or difficulty. It's a bad sign if you're in a long term relationship and not married.

[Jinpachi]

When people learn that marriage and relationships are about being selfless, and putting their partners needs ahead of their own, maybe we could see a change. Until then, the number of people getting married will continue to drop. A successful relationship is not about what you are getting out of it.

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Sorry, but the west doesn't have a monopoly on the "cultural cult" of marriage, if that's even a thing. Last i checked it started long before those two countries did.

What's the divorce rate in eastern european countries? middle east? china? india? and what are the main driving forces behind marriage in those countries.

[Nitros14]

When people learn that marriage and relationships are about being selfless, and putting their partners needs ahead of their own, maybe we could see a change. Until then, the number of people getting married will continue to drop. A successful relationship is not about what you are getting out of it.

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Sorry, but the west doesn't have a monopoly on the "cultural cult" of marriage, if that's even a thing. Last i checked it started long before those two countries did.

It's the idea that you can't be complete and that your relationship is somehow lesser without marriage. As if two people together can't love each other 'truly' without some archaic ritual.

It's a recent thing because until recently marriage was far more about economics and politics than love or choice.

[Mistame]

You're either too young or not yet educated enough to know there is far more to a marriage than the little list you put up there.

Sure there is. But I can't be bothered to make an accurate list of largely irrelevant factors.

Yes, marriage is required for a successful relationship.

No, it's not. This is the part where I question your age and education.

"You're good enough to shack up with, but not marry" is not the message men and women want to be sending to each other long term, nor is it what they want to impart subconsciously to their children.

What children think of their parents' relationship is irrelevant. A relationship is the business of the couple only, period. And if the message a partner takes from not showing an interest in being married is as you mentioned, they're not a very good partner. This is the same patently false and irrational logic people use to claim that asking for a prenup is basically telling your partner you don't trust them and/or don't think it will last. And it's stupid.

It's a recent thing because until recently marriage was far more about economics and politics than love or choice.

Actually, it's always been about tradition and economics. Marriage does not improve a relationship, it merely makes it "official".

When people learn that marriage and relationships are about being selfless, and putting their partners needs ahead of their own

No, it's not. It's about finding someone you enjoy being with to share your life with. Yeah, there's going to be some sacrifices, but if one of those is your sense of self and/or personal freedom, it's a net loss.

A successful relationship is not about what you are getting out of it.

Not completely, no. But if you're not getting what you want out of, it's irrational to be in it.

[Tommi]

I get more "world news" from TennisFarce than I do from anywhere else. I swear all he does is sits on his computer all day looking for bait articles for Off-Topic.

Ontopic so no infraction lulz. Marriage is stupid. It's an old relic, one of many, from a long gone era that needs to die off so the world can move on properly.

[Torto]

If you think about it, it's the more selfish and untrustworthy people who are going to be averse to marriage since they want the opportunity to end it quickly without facing any penalty or difficulty. It's a bad sign if you're in a long term relationship and not married.

Relationships are a lottery. The person you meet and fall in love with today is not going to be the same person 10 years from now. So what are you supposed to do? Stay in a loveless marriage?

[Jinpachi]

Sure there is. But I can't be bothered to make an accurate list of largely irrelevant factors.



No, it's not. This is the part where I question your age and education.



What children think of their parents' relationship is irrelevant. A relationship is the business of the couple only, period. And if the message a partner takes from not showing an interest in being married is as you mentioned, they're not a very good partner. This is the same patently false and irrational logic people use to claim that asking for a prenup is basically telling your partner you don't trust them and/or don't think it will last. And it's stupid.



Actually, it's always been about tradition and economics. Marriage does not improve a relationship, it merely makes it "official".

What children think of their parents relationship is going to shape how they are in their own when they are older. What a naive thing to say. And there is no other message that can be sent to a partner after 10+years together and they are still just shacking up. Oh you can TRY to sugar coat it, but the underlying message is so very clear. If you have to ask for a prenup, you've been taken to the cleaners before, and are paranoid of it happening again, which means you shouldn't be getting married ever again. The examples you've given are of a society that takes a casual approach to marriage, which is why the OP's article exists to begin with.

[Radaney]

I think it's an economic problem more so than a social or cultural one.

People don't tend to get married until they have stable jobs and a house.

And well...

lul.

Getting those alongside finding your destined love.

Is a modern challenge.

[Kyriani]

Yes, marriage is required for a successful relationship.

Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russel would beg to differ. So would my own Aunt and her S/O who've been together for over 20 years.

Some folk just don't want to be married. That doesn't mean they love their s/o any less than a couple that does decide to marry.

[Torto]

I get more "world news" from TennisFarce than I do from anywhere else. I swear all he does is sits on his computer all day looking for bait articles for Off-Topic.

Ontopic so no infraction lulz. Marriage is stupid. It's an old relic, one of many, from a long gone era that needs to die off so the world can move on properly.

Exactly, the old historical reasons for marriage are no longer relevant in today's modern society. I'm a conservative and traditionalist, but on this topic I just don't see the point or benefit.

[Stormspark]

It's better to not get married to begin with than to have stuff not work out and get divorced. Getting married does NOT change whether couples stay together or not. Not in the slightest.

[Spectral]

You might not be, but you sound American. Americans (and some Canadians, even less Europeans) have this weird cultural cult of marriage.

Yeah, it's almost like it's a foundational pillar of Western civilization or something. But who cares about that in the current year?

[Tommi]

If you think about it, it's the more selfish and untrustworthy people who are going to be averse to marriage since they want the opportunity to end it quickly without facing any penalty or difficulty.

According to whom? I have no interest in marriage at all. Why would I need a piece of paper and a ring to show I loved someone?

It's a bad sign if you're in a long term relationship and not married.

Again, according to whom? I can bring up a friend grandparents who have been together for 47 years, no marriage. Hell, my great gran was 97 when she died. She was with my great grandad for SEVENTY-FOUR YEARS before he passed away. They never married. They met at school. How is that bad in any shape or form?

[Spectral]

Exactly, the old historical reasons for marriage are no longer relevant in today's modern society. I'm a conservative and traditionalist, but on this topic I just don't see the point or benefit.

If you think marriage is a useless institution, you aren't a conservative traditionalist. This should almost go without saying.

[Jinpachi]

Relationships are a lottery. The person you meet and fall in love with today is not going to be the same person 10 years from now. So what are you supposed to do? Stay in a loveless marriage?

Love isn't an emotion, it's action. Selfless action. It's not about you, it's not about being "in love" for the end of time. It's hard fucking work, and there will be times when you cant stand each other. That's irrelevant. You fucking commit to that shit and let your partner know that no matter how rough the seas get you're not jumping ship. That builds a bond that can't be explained in words. Also, you GOTTA have a sense of humor. don't have one? get one. If you cant laugh, don't bother marrying at all. Cause shit gets so ridiculous at times that all you CAN do is laugh.

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Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russel would beg to differ. So would my own Aunt and her S/O who've been together for over 20 years.

Some folk just don't want to be married. That doesn't mean they love their s/o any less than a couple that does decide to marry.

Tell me again how much of their day to day relationship you've been privy to?

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According to whom? I have no interest in marriage at all. Why would I need a piece of paper and a ring to show I loved someone?



Again, according to whom? I can bring up a friend grandparents who have been together for 47 years, no marriage. Hell, my great gran was 97 when she died. She was with my great grandad for SEVENTY-FOUR YEARS before he passed away. They never married. They met at school. How is that bad in any shape or form?

No interest means you're not ready for it. Don't breed, for the love of all things holy.

[Faolain]

In these modern times, any man willing to get married is an imbecile. There is no upside whatsoever.

/r/incels wants their sour grapes back.

[Torto]

If you think marriage is a useless institution, you aren't a conservative traditionalist. This should almost go without saying.

Being a conservative is not all or nothing. I know conservatives who believe in same sex marriage.

[Jinpachi]

Being a conservative is not all or nothing. I know conservatives who believe in same sex marriage.

It's still MARRIAGE

[Tommi]

No interest means you're not ready for it. Don't breed, for the love of all things holy.

Doesn't answer the question I asked at all.

Why would I need a piece of paper and a ring to signify that I love someone?
Why would said things make any difference to a relationship if both partners aren't interested in wasting money that could be used as part payment for a house?