Are you really that stupid that you think that if someone says "nigger" to a friend in banter that he hates black people? Have I said "nigger" to a friend over Discord or such when playing with them? yes, does it mean I hate black people or think less of them? no.
Have I said "you gay fuck" or "faggot" to a friend over Discord? yes, does it mean I hate gay people or think less of them? no.
I personally don't hate anyone because of their race or sexuality, the people I hate, I hate because of who they are as a person and how they behave toward others.
These are words that hold no power unless people like you give them that power to be offended, why is it fine for a black man to call another black man "nigger" but it's not fine for 2 white friends to call each other "nigger" or "gay/faggot" in a joking way?