Fell in love with my school Headmaster, what do i do?

[Halyon]

Nope, no ring, take your shot, if she switches up, not your problem, all's fair in love and war. Competition is competition.

So cheating is only bad if it's a marriage. Good to know.

[Doctor Amadeus]

So cheating is only sacrosanct if it's a marriage. Good to know.

Well no, but marriage means there is a commitment, and I would know that by a ring and by any other means, but I don't care how long the relationship is male or female, if they say yes, then it isn't the problem of the person asking out.

I mean conventionally you have a point about it generally not being a good idea, because if they are with someone for 8 years or whatever, for long term that is probably not much room for possibility.

But then again maybe it is, and they see a better opportunity. Only married means married to me, or anything in terms of being taken UNLESS they say, no I am committed.

But if they are willing that's all that matters.

[SherriMayim]

I think this will be helpful in your situation

[Halyon]

Well no, but marriage means there is a commitment, and I would know that by a ring and by any other means, but I don't care how long the relationship is male or female, if they say yes, then it isn't the problem of the person asking out.

I mean conventionally you have a point about it generally not being a good idea, because if they are with someone for 8 years or whatever, for long term that is probably not much room for possibility.

But then again maybe it is, and they see a better opportunity. Only married means married to me, or anything in terms of being taken UNLESS they say, no I am committed.

But if they are willing that's all that matters.

8 years is commitment. If she flaked that easily as some new guy at work asking her out, 8 year relationships wouldn't happen. That says 'taken' to me. Otherwise it just sounds like she's a piece of meat or property to be fought over until some male marks the territory...

Either way, when this woman is OP's boss, and he does ask, she'll most likely reject him right there, and the friendship will be over. Have fun working there.

The chances of 'success', if you want to call a flaking woman a success, is so low that it isn't worth a risk. Other than to be an asshole, who might also become job-less.

[Khallid]

Kriss has a bf, they've been together for about 8 years, they also live together but they are still not married.

Sounds like you're wasting your time.

[Deleted]

Heh, I like how I laughed at how this is like some dumb anime cliche, but realise I am too emotionally crippled to even offer advice.

I am however a programmer and logic dictates telling her how u feel is a bad move.

[Elim Garak]

A married woman is still attainable, so I don't understand what are you arguing all about here. 8 years of commitment is nothing if there's no spark.

[epLe]

Never give your boss a reason to dislike you imo.

^ really that firstly, it may turn out very negatively for your work environment.

But on a personal level you'd show a whole lot of disrespect for her and her relationship, when you obviously are aware of her social status.

[Doctor Amadeus]

8 years is commitment. If she flaked that easily as some new guy at work asking her out, 8 year relationships wouldn't happen. That says 'taken' to me. Otherwise it just sounds like she's a piece of meat or property to be fought over until some male marks the territory...

All good points, now here is the counter, yes I agree if she or anyone flakes that quickly, red flag. However maybe she simply holding out for something she realizes is never going to happen, people also deserve to be happy especially when they realize maybe someone else will.

Property I wouldn't say that, but you have a good point, No I would simply say a ring and marriage denotes a commitment by both, and therefor, i would recognize it, not that well she is property already taken.

Either way, when this woman is OP's boss, and he does ask, she'll most likely reject him right there, and the friendship will be over. Have fun working there.

Yep, I agree 100% it's a bad idea, but it's not me, I am not giving advice, just saying what I would do if I were up for this.

The chances of 'success', if you want to call a flaking woman a success, is so low that it isn't worth a risk. Other than to be an asshole, who might also become job-less.

Also 100% true I am not in favor in general of work romances at all. For all the reasons you said, because while it can be great if it goes the right way, but it can be a nightmare of it goes the other way.

[Scarletlion]

Not cool at all mate. You know she has a long term releationship with another guy and still you are thinking about giving it a shot? This is a terrible idea. Imagine you are that guy and some random guy shows up and tries to claim what has been yours for 8 fucking years. What would your reaction be? Love at first sight or not. It doesn't matter how much you love and desire her, it's wrong at every aspect. I don't even mention about the way it will effect your reputation in your workplace. Long story short i don't really see a happy ending at final. So, let it go.

[Halyon]

A married woman is still attainable, so I don't understand what are you arguing all about here. 8 years of commitment is nothing if there's no spark.

There's very rarely 8 year relationships without a spark.

[Elim Garak]

There's very rarely 8 year relationships without a spark.

Most relationships that long are without a spark. The spark burned out long ago. Children and habit keeps families together, but not always considering high divorce rates.

[Halyon]

All good points, now here is the counter, yes I agree if she or anyone flakes that quickly, red flag. However maybe she simply holding out for something she realizes is never going to happen, people also deserve to be happy especially when they realize maybe someone else will.

Then wait for her to make a move. Instigating is the worst choice here.

Property I wouldn't say that, but you have a good point, No I would simply say a ring and marriage denotes a commitment by both, and therefor, i would recognize it, not that well she is property already taken.

The attitude is there. And the lack of respect for other people. Sometimes, it may be as you say, and it works out. Most of the time otherwise, it isn't, and only heartache will come of it. I have seen both sides. People who want to be happy, will seize it for themselves, that is the most reliable way, otherwise it has an equal chance of turning into an utter crap-shoot.

Yep, I agree 100% it's a bad idea, but it's not me, I am not giving advice, just saying what I would do if I were up for this.

It's not advice, true, but it is encouragement.

Also 100% true I am not in favor in general of work romances at all. For all the reasons you said, because while it can be great if it goes the right way, but it can be a nightmare of it goes the other way.

And this has an extremely high risk of ending poorly for everyone involved, most of all for OP.

Most relationships that long are without a spark. The spark burned out long ago. Children and habit keeps families together, but not always considering high divorce rates.

Children are chains in some cases, which hold the family together by force as well. That was literally how a former friend of mine's parents had. They had simply agreed to stick together until all their kids had left the nest, then they'd split, as they didn't love eachother anymore. That ain't a spark. A spark is not just a stormy 3 months and then whatever happens, nobody cares. A spark can burn for over 50 years. My great great grandparents could tell you so. Married since their late teens/early twenties, they were always happy. Granted, that is a rare thing, but that's a spark right there.

[Doctor Amadeus]

Then wait for her to make a move. Instigating is the worst choice here.

I am not the OP, because let's be real I am sure you have your suspicions about this whole story anyways.

The attitude is there. And the lack of respect for other people. Sometimes, it may be as you say, and it works out. Most of the time otherwise, it isn't, and only heartache will come of it. I have seen both sides. People who want to be happy, will seize it for themselves, that is the most reliable way, otherwise it has an equal chance of turning into an utter crap-shoot.

Ok bare with me let say this were you or me, or whatever, and i am like OMFG I love this _______ can't live without. Granted we are adults, granted this is stupid, but hear me out, because this shit can happen.

People can suddenly feel after whatever path they are on, it is the wrong one, the chances are not good, I conceded this is a stupid idea. However if you or I ran across a situation where someone either of us came across simply just rocked our world, and they feel the same and there is a real connection NO a ring shouldn't make much of a differences outside of the considerations that you've given.

But recognized and moved passed, people do get together, and unless it's marriage it's fair game.

It's not advice, true, but it is encouragement.

Ok I see how you frame that, and I can't say NO because that is an opinion, but my counter is not knowing the situation, I also wouldn't want to encourage two people to be miserable the rest of their lives either, when there is a real shot, however stupid or slim to none i think it is.

And this has an extremely high risk of ending poorly for everyone involved, most of all for OP.

Yep, which is why in theory and practice I agree with you, and as I said, I concede this point because you are obviously just correct.

[Gravity2015]

"What do you guys think? Is it ok, fair to pursue a girl who is in a relationship for this long?" - dick move imo, enjoy being her friend or risk ruining your relationship. She is happy and so is her partner, you've got some nerve thinking your the shit and have any business ruining what they have.

[vindicatorx]

What do you guys think? Is it ok, fair to pursue a girl who is in a relationship for this long?

If you don't like your job then sure tell her how you feel. Otherwise grow up and look for someone available cause you are wasting time and energy on a woman who isn'tt going to give you the time of day for multiple reasons.

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you have nothing to lose before you regret it ask her what she feels maybe its the oposite case who knows you maybe never know until you ask

except his job

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Because you said so?

No, because that's common knowledge. She is the boss she can't date him anyway.

[Azadina]

Not a good idea. But if you decide to, then remember it's your job on the line, not hers. If you sour the work relationship into something really awkward with unwanted advances, you're the one eventually getting transfered elsewhere or fired.

[Doctor Amadeus]

"What do you guys think? Is it ok, fair to pursue a girl who is in a relationship for this long?" - dick move imo, enjoy being her friend or risk ruining your relationship. She is happy and so is her partner, you've got some nerve thinking your the shit and have any business ruining what they have.

You act as if the person has no agency this is the 21st century, unless there is a ring, there is no established commitment.

[Bae]

No. Its not. Show some dignity and move on. When someones taken, then it usually means they're happy where they are. If she's not, then she will move on in her own time.

I'll never condone going after someone whos in a relationship, let alone a long term one. Get out and put yourself out there, you'll meet someone else who you realise in 50x better than a woman you thought you loved.

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You act as if the person has no agency this is the 21st century, unless there is a ring, there is no established commitment.

You say that yet most of the people i know aren't married and are in long term relationships. Im not married and i've been with my partner for six years. So none of my friends are committed to one another? Me and my partner aren't committed to one another?

A ring and a certificate doesn't make commitment valid. The commitment comes from what the two people have

[frogger237]

Here are 10 simple steps to get any woman with a boyfriend:

1. Hire a Latvian prostitute to pose as your girlfriend
2. Go on a double date and have the hooker brag you up.
3. Hack your crushes computer
4. find out all her info and her boyfriends
5. start making it seem like he is trying to bang other chicks online or make him seem like a criminal
6. Have your hooker try and start a relationship with the boyfriend. If he refuses have her lie and tell your crush he hit on her otherwise take pics of them together.
7. Exercise a bit cause you don't wanna look like shit when you finally get her.
8. If they are still together place women's underwear in their bed.
9. Comfort her,
10. Ask her out.