Did I fuck up? Advice for a typical girl problem needed

[Collegeguy]

I agree, but the theory is that this chick was into him. Which means she went from showing up randomly to his going away party, accepting invitations to his party and going out of her way to go party with this guy, to leaving with someone else the span of him getting tipsy.
That just indicates that she's the self serving kind of person that won't put any effort into something if it doesn't suit their needs anymore. Why would you waste your time on someone like that. She's at best a one hitter.

My guess is that half the guys on this site have never had a girl flirt or hit on them before. This stuff isn't rocket science. Girls send signals.

My intuition is that she was never was interested like that. Otherwise, she decided to go with stranger over someone she liked for a long time. Does not compute.

[Deleted]

Call her and ask her if you could have a word with her, preferably face to face. Apologize, admit that you fucked up and acted like an ass and that you're not always like that (if you aren't), stay away from alcohol when you clearly can't handle your booze, explain to her that you weren't clear on the situation with her and her boyfriend but that you do feel attracted to her, tell her that you fully understand that if you acting like an ass was enough to put an end to anything that was potentially there, but that if she's still interested, you could try hanging out again. Without the alcohol, which clearly isn't meant for you. Leave that to us professionals.

If all that feels too much of a hassle for you, then you're not really that into her, and you should just move on. If you need to drink something, stick to beer. It won't cause blackouts.

[Aeula]

Yeah... Best case scenario? Welcome to the order of like-a-brothers ‘cause you ain’t getting none.

[Torrasque]

I'm glad that I don't have these sorts of "typical girl problems."

My advice, figure out what you want, then stack yourself in a manner that benefits what you're after to the greatest level of success. In that note, you can't act if you're not in control, so, as bonus advice, don't drink yourself stupid.

[Jinpachi]

1. Not married, no problem, ask her out.

2. If you really want to make an impression, don't get stupid-ass drunk. keep your cool, maintain your wits, show some restraint. you want to be able to remember what you did....or said.

3. Just talk to her man, stop being melodramatic. There's no secret to it, just be you.

4. If it doesn't pan out, no worries. Who wants to be with someone who doesn't want you? Rejection helps push you towards the right one.

- - - Updated - - -

Also...did anyone comment how OP isn't exactly the poster boy of morals going after a chick with a BF? Yeah..would have loved to see the two hook up and find out how that turned out....

All's fair in love and war until they're married, then they're off-limits.

[HeiAggra]

WOW some answer here are mean to the OP!
Dude she camed for you so lets see.
Point 1. She told you and prolly all in the company she had a boyfriend. Many girls get harassed at work just because they single. If they are super Hot guys will be scared of them. One thing guys dont like to admit. Some woman actually scare all of us. So that does mean she actually has a BF? We dont know.
Point 2. She camed because you invited her and she had fun so call her say hey sorry i got to drunk the other night and could not give you more atencion.
Go out with her and see how it plays out.
She go home with a dude, it does not mean she did anyting. A tip, Women like to "punish" when they dont have what they want and some just make you fell that you lost her and she went it another. Might be the case or not!
If you like the girl give it a go and find out.

[Cariboulou]

You probably dodged a bullet, OP.
A chick with a bf comes to the party to hook up with you but ends up hooking up with some other dude instead? Not really relationship material.
A one night stand, sure. But it seems like you wanted more with her than that, so all in all don't sweat it.

[SealMemeSix]

As far as your chances of getting dat ass, yeah you fucked up big time lol... but maybe that's not so bad. If she was going to parties and events just to be with you, then fucked some random dude the moment you killed the attraction in its infancy, it was never gonna go anywhere anyway. Sounds like she never had interest in a relationship, but was just looking for that good D.

Don't drink so much you fool.

[kamuimac]

This is probably going to be a tale just like the rest on here, but I need your advice none the less.
About a year ago, this girl starts working in the same company as I did at the time. I don't really think much of her, other than she is quite funny, has some interesting opinions and is sort of the usual semi-attractive girl. Nothing out the ordinary. Fast-forward a year and I decide to quit my spare-time job in the company. I was surprised that she actually showed up at the farewell ceremony despite not being at work that day.

Fast forward another 3 weeks and I'm invited back to a friday-bar at the company to meet up with the my ex-coworkers. The girl is there aswell and now I actually have the thought: "Hey, she's actually kinda cute". I know that she has a boyfriend so I again ignore this feeling. Nevertheless, I invite her to a party at my dorm the next evening that she agrees to go to. We dance the entire night at this party and she really enjoys herself despite knowing only me there. Again, I convince myself that everything is cool and that she's just friend. Thing however start to get a bit confusing, atleast to me. The next day i text her and she tell me she had fun blabla, and that she looks forward to dance again next weekend. I'm like: "Wait, what's going on next weekend?" Turn out she overheard a conversation I had with a friend at the dorm party, talking about going to this October-fest themed party, and then asked my friend later if she could come aswell.

Fast forward a week. I text her and invite her and my friend to make dinner and have a few glasses of wine before the October-fest. She agrees and it's actually a really good time. At the party however, things turn pretty akward quickly. I get extremely drunk, to the point where I actually have a few black outs and I make a few comments to her that there are no cute girls at this party etc. At some point my good friend pull me aside and tells me to pull myself together, that she thinks I'm cute, that she constantly stares at me while I'm talking, that the only reason she came to this party was because I was going aswell, and that I should go in and talk and dance more with her instead of concentrating on all the other thing. It was however too late at this point, as she was trying to hook up with another guy and obviously wasn't interested in talking with me at that point.

The night ended with me puking in a toilet and she going home with some dude. The feelings I woke up with this morning were really mixed. She had mentioned a few times that she had boyfriend when we were working together, so I really hadn't given any thought to actually trying to hook up with her at any point.

My question is then: Did I fuck up? Do you think that her behaviour signals attraction? What would you suggest that my next move be? Should I wait and see what happens if we meet again, should I straight up tell her about it, or maybe something else?

My reaction to seeing her with another guy last night has me convinced that I do have some feeling for her after all, but that I have repressed them in fear of ruining my friendship with her and that I was certain that they wouldn't bring anything good.

lol do you even have to ask ?

time to grow up and learn either how to hold your liquer or dont drink more then 1-2 beers.

[Deleted]

Yes you fucked up in the sense that you probably had an opportunity to sleep with this woman and you didn't. But you also mention that she's already taken and that she's a cheat. Why are you worrying about this? She's clearly not relationship material and if you're that bothered about losing your chance to get laid you simply need to get out more.

[barackohmama]

Wtf why would you tell a girl you like there are no cute girls at the party?

[THE Bigzoman]

Get some self respect for yourself and move on.

[Dentelan]

semi-attractive girl. Nothing out the ordinary.
friday-bar
The girl is there aswell and now I actually have the thought: "Hey, she's actually kinda cute".

[Player Twelve]

He's not wrong, though.

Yeah, women are whores for having sex. Totally.

[Dentelan]

This is probably going to be a tale just like the rest on here, but I need your advice none the less.
About a year ago, this girl starts working in the same company as I did at the time. I don't really think much of her, other than she is quite funny, has some interesting opinions and is sort of the usual semi-attractive girl. Nothing out the ordinary. Fast-forward a year and I decide to quit my spare-time job in the company. I was surprised that she actually showed up at the farewell ceremony despite not being at work that day.

Fast forward another 3 weeks and I'm invited back to a friday-bar at the company to meet up with the my ex-coworkers. The girl is there aswell and now I actually have the thought: "Hey, she's actually kinda cute". I know that she has a boyfriend so I again ignore this feeling. Nevertheless, I invite her to a party at my dorm the next evening that she agrees to go to. We dance the entire night at this party and she really enjoys herself despite knowing only me there. Again, I convince myself that everything is cool and that she's just friend. Thing however start to get a bit confusing, atleast to me. The next day i text her and she tell me she had fun blabla, and that she looks forward to dance again next weekend. I'm like: "Wait, what's going on next weekend?" Turn out she overheard a conversation I had with a friend at the dorm party, talking about going to this October-fest themed party, and then asked my friend later if she could come aswell.

Fast forward a week. I text her and invite her and my friend to make dinner and have a few glasses of wine before the October-fest. She agrees and it's actually a really good time. At the party however, things turn pretty akward quickly. I get extremely drunk, to the point where I actually have a few black outs and I make a few comments to her that there are no cute girls at this party etc. At some point my good friend pull me aside and tells me to pull myself together, that she thinks I'm cute, that she constantly stares at me while I'm talking, that the only reason she came to this party was because I was going aswell, and that I should go in and talk and dance more with her instead of concentrating on all the other thing. It was however too late at this point, as she was trying to hook up with another guy and obviously wasn't interested in talking with me at that point.

The night ended with me puking in a toilet and she going home with some dude. The feelings I woke up with this morning were really mixed. She had mentioned a few times that she had boyfriend when we were working together, so I really hadn't given any thought to actually trying to hook up with her at any point.

My question is then: Did I fuck up? Do you think that her behaviour signals attraction? What would you suggest that my next move be? Should I wait and see what happens if we meet again, should I straight up tell her about it, or maybe something else?

My reaction to seeing her with another guy last night has me convinced that I do have some feeling for her after all, but that I have repressed them in fear of ruining my friendship with her and that I was certain that they wouldn't bring anything good.

Also, yes you fucked up in point you didnt asked does she have bf anymore. Like, before calling her on the party you could say *Wanna go on this octoberfest next weakend? If your bf is ok with that ofcourse*. And check reaction. Im 90% sure she broke up with her bf at the point you was talking about.

[xenogear3]

She is good !

Has an official boyfriend.
Come with someone.
Made you jealous.
Go home with someone else.

[moremana]

Girl with a boyfriend trying to hook up with other guys while partying? Not worth the drama or trouble. Your drinking saved yourself the trouble of having to deal with her.

Even if she was single and interested in you, the fact that she chooses to go home and hook up with another guy because you weren't readily available.

On a different note if all you want is to hook up and you don't want to pursue a meaningful relationship then yes you missed your shot there, but hey she seems like she likes being put into those situations so you probably just need to lure her to another party.

this this and this.

You avoided a bullet.

[Deleted]

Girl with a boyfriend going to so many parties without him and hooking up other guys shouldn't be someone you should consider a future serious GF.

[Zuben]

Getting trashed is generally a bad idea, so you fucked up in principle. As for your chances with the girl, not looking great. You can try to mend things, but she already saw a very lame side of you so it may be over. Then again, if she does have a boyfriend, hooking up with guys mean she's into infidelity. Do you really want to be with that kind of person?

[Raakel]

Can you actually ever be just friends with a girl? That never worked for me.

My wife and I have a lot of couples as friends but they come as pairs you know.

I never managed to be just friends with women I was in a realtionship afterwards besides kindergarden fancies...