especially metal, and I don't hate the norm, but I like not being normal, because it makes me more unique, but I also actually like that stuff as well, I'm not just a hipster who does things that aren't mainstream because it's cool.. I'm not scared of being normal, I just enjoy things that aren't.
Anyone streaming right now? I'm in the process of getting drunk, so I could stream something random even though I already streamed tonight, if someone wants.
As you probably know, we have quite a few transgendered people in the thread - muCephei, Remilia, and most recently Yeast among them. I've felt something of a fascination with it for a while, and was getting a bit curious. So last week, when Cephei mentioned she'd found a really great chat of TG folks that she'd been spending time in, I made a dummy account, tracked the group down through her profile, and joined up. I lurked for a while, and eventually spoke up. I told them I was curious and asked if I could stay for a while, and we chatted for a bit. The people in the channel decided quite quickly that I was in fact trans and just hasn't realized it yet, so I figured what the hell and went full girl-mode in that chat for a week.
Turns out, I needed it, bad. I'd been holding back tons of stuff because of some pretty deep-ingrained gender roles, stuff I hadn't even realized. Everyone on there was great, and I honestly had a great time. Anyway, I thought I had everything figured out last night, I'd decided I was male but had been locking a bunch of stuff up, so I came back to Ruom's stream group where I spend a lot of my time and told this whole story, to hilarious effect. Got mocked out the ass, as I'd have expected, but all in good fun. To my surprise, a few people came forward with gender concerns they'd been holding in too, apparently I wasn't the only one. It was a really fun night - I'd wanted to make some interesting choices, and that certainly blew the status quo wide open.
Anyway, for all my certainty last night, I found myself right back in that chat this morning. So hell if I know. And that's the story.
I do the same thing when it comes to everyday life. I fear the norm, so I break it in every way possible. You should see my room - I have blood on my walls, I've written poems on my closet with a black marker and I have several cuts from knives and holes from throwing with knifes directly into my wall.
It's just a way to express one self.