Best love?

[Cuzzin]

Was just thinking today about some relationship junk while listening to some r&b and I was wondering what you guys think is better love. A relationship where its just been peachy and calm, no bumps in the road etc. Or a relationship that has had some rough times and been through alot? Is a relationship a where nothing has ever went wrong a bad thing? Hard to say that, but also is a relationship that's been through alot good? Obviously something went wrong somewhere.

[Speaknoevil]

A relationship where its just been peachy and calm

This one because life will throw tons of shit your way, and you don't need that with your love partner too.

[Deleted]

I have to agree with previous poster. A relationship where everything is just working out good. No matter how much shit life throws at you it will be easier if you are in a good and calm relationship.

[Austilias]

My own relationship of almost two years at the moment, would revolve around honesty more than anything. Total honesty, that is. We get along great and like/dislike the same things 90% of the time, but we argue on occasion due to having very different viewpoints about certain things. Whilst potentially stressful at the time depending on the topic, it's something I appreciate because if someone is honest to you even where it would disturb the usual acquiescence and make you feel potentially bad, you know they will be honest no matter what; especially about themselves.

[Lysah]

A relationship that is peaceful is doomed to fail. Most people seek out these relationships because they want a happily ever after Disney romance that they see on TV. Unfortunately, you ARE going to have problems with your partner, sooner or later, and if you expect things to be super awesome all the time it'll be really hard to make it through bad times with them.

More successful couples tend to be couples who fight a lot. This is because they practice "getting over it" and develop conflict resolution skills together.

[Mavecryst]

A relationship that is peaceful is doomed to fail. Most people seek out these relationships because they want a happily ever after Disney romance that they see on TV. Unfortunately, you ARE going to have problems with your partner, sooner or later, and if you expect things to be super awesome all the time it'll be really hard to make it through bad times with them.

More successful couples tend to be couples who fight a lot. This is because they practice "getting over it" and develop conflict resolution skills together.

While this is true, I think OP was referring to a sort of unreachable "peachy and calm". Like, IF you could choose between a relationship that was truly smooth sailing, no hidden agendas or baggage or troubles, IF that were possible, would you choose it over the others?

Personally, of course I would. Why would I want more trouble? While I enjoy solving things with my partner, if it were realistically possible that there were no problems to solve in the first place, I'd definitely go with that. The only thing missing would be the makeupafterargumentsex, but I'd give that up.

[LilSaihah]

Hard ground builds stronger roots. A relationship which meets trouble (not because the two parties are inherently incompatible, but because of life's twists and turns) is going to be far more fulfilling.

[Spectral]

I've been in two relationships that were smooth sailing; one ended because it was a short term thing and she had to go back to her country after she was done with her stay in my lab. The other, I'm still in and it's absolutely delightful, I don't ever want anything else.

[IRL]

Was just thinking today about some relationship junk while listening to some r&b and I was wondering what you guys think is better love. A relationship where its just been peachy and calm, no bumps in the road etc. Or a relationship that has had some rough times and been through alot? Is a relationship a where nothing has ever went wrong a bad thing? Hard to say that, but also is a relationship that's been through alot good? Obviously something went wrong somewhere.

Cuzzin, you show me a couple that has never had a fight and I will show you a fake relationship.

Don't get discouraged. Out of all of the relationships we each have, only one will ultimately work out and end in marriage. Dating is a proving grounds where you learn a little about what you are looking for in a mate and A LOT about yourself.

[Spectral]

Cuzzin, you show me a couple that has never had a fight and I will show you a fake relationship.

Granted, it's not spectacularly long yet at only a year (and about a year of friendship beforehand), but I've never had anything approaching a fight with my girlfriend. I have no idea what would be "fake" about this relationship.

[semaphore]

I rather not have to fight.

[THE Bigzoman]

Granted, it's not spectacularly long yet at only a year (and about a year of friendship beforehand), but I've never had anything approaching a fight with my girlfriend. I have no idea what would be "fake" about this relationship.

Pessimism from previous relationships perhaps?

[Darthvador]

i've been with my Girlfriend for 3 years now , and i have to say peachy and calm , in 3 years we never had real issue , and most couple who are facing problem will most likely face them over and over again until they break up , well that's my opinion if you cant get along with your partner , you should find a new one it will be better for both side

[Clockwork Pinkie]

One that is smooth and little to no conflicts, but it's near impossible, there will be conflicts about something. Even if it's about which ice cream flavor is best.

[Symphonic]

The best relationship is one that is "peachy and calm". I say this because times will come when there is a differing of opinions. Whether it's because she grew up and was raised differently than you were and so things annoy her, or you say something embarrassing that should have stayed personal in front of others... anyway, something will eventually happen. How much better would it be that you can communicate and apologize or come to terms without getting aggressive, raised voices, or (more) hurt feelings.

So, don't ASK for hard and bumpy roads, there will be potholes anyway, so try to have a good, loving, and calm relationship.

[Koala Bandit]

Marshall and Lilly..... done and done.

[Kanadei]

Was just thinking today about some relationship junk while listening to some r&b and I was wondering what you guys think is better love. A relationship where its just been peachy and calm, no bumps in the road etc. Or a relationship that has had some rough times and been through alot? Is a relationship a where nothing has ever went wrong a bad thing? Hard to say that, but also is a relationship that's been through alot good? Obviously something went wrong somewhere.

A relationship that survives.

Different things work for different people, some people enjoy being challenged, others prefer things to be quiet and peaceful. Both have their merits, much like a rollercoasters enjoyment can't really be measured against a quiet picnics enjoyment.

The fact is, the best kind of relationships are the ones that make it work - regardless of whats going on and what has or hasn't happened.

If you really want to be together you will be. The rest is just excuses.

[mrbadxampl]

I've been alone long enough, I'd be happy with either...

[K i s u]

Hard ground builds stronger roots. A relationship which meets trouble (not because the two parties are inherently incompatible, but because of life's twists and turns) is going to be far more fulfilling.

This is pretty much how I feel, nothing in my life has ever come easy and I don't expect my relationships to and frankly I probably wouldn't know what to do with it and be scared of the worst, waiting for the shoe to drop instead of just taking it in stride as I do now.. I've had the rockiest years with my partner but each time we come out stronger regardless of what life tosses at us or what we put the other through.

But in general it's the relationship that stays on track thats the best love, the one that lasts and survives some people need different things.

[IRL]

Granted, it's not spectacularly long yet at only a year (and about a year of friendship beforehand), but I've never had anything approaching a fight with my girlfriend. I have no idea what would be "fake" about this relationship.

Spectral, I was not calling you out. I hope your relationship with your girlfriend is blessed. Perhaps it would have been more accurate to say "conflict" rather than "fights".

Going into a lower level of detail, any two people in a relationship will have differing wants, needs, and paradigms to varying degrees. These differences will cause friction and conflict, period.

We display our maturity in how we handle this conflict. A real man (and woman) would share perspectives and resolve the conflict in love. I am not always the man I want to be and occasionally my disagreements escalate into fights that ultimately drive resolution. (I am working to become a better man.)

However, THE WORST thing you can do is ignore these conflicts and sources of friction, by either: 1.) pretending the problems don't exist or 2.) becoming detached so you don't care. This just magnifies the problem and, like anything under pressure, it eventually explodes. It's not healthy.

So the point of my statement was to dispel this myth of dating someone you will always agree with 100%. Conflict arises. Real men handle it with grace. I hope that clarifies it a bit.