How to deal with a break up =(

[Méd]

It's been almost 4 weeks since me and my fiancé broke up. I've tried to right my wrongs, find my flaws, promised myself to change etc. Yes it is heartbreaking. Yes you will feel like you are dead inside. You'll wish to just disappear completely but keep in mind that time really helps. NEVER go through a break up alone. I reached out to my mom who was living almost 700km away and she was here in the morning, right after breakup. Someone really close to you who has "objective" point of view on matters is really going to help you.

You may have made mistakes or you may have changed somehow due to a really retarded reason but they DON'T matter anymore ! You should accept the fact that it's over and you won't have same relationship again. Without blaming yourself, be sincere and find what has changed in time. Remember what you were like when you two started dating. He fell in love with that person and that was you. Find out what has changed. Were they positive or negative? If negative, take this time to fix them. Were you overly attached girlfriend? Did you have trust issues? Were you clingy? Find what's the reason and try to forgive your past or w/e causing them. I know these are not the suggestions you want to hear but keep reading ! Remember, this grief time is for yourself. Doesn't matter if you wanna just get back together with him or not. Do not think about his wrongs. Maybe he was the crazy one but doesn't matter. HE IS GONE and it is time to look out for yourself.

Socialize, surround yourself with really close friends and family members. Most importantly, discuss. Discuss about yourself. Don't talk about him or how you two were great in bed or how that trip to beach felt great. You'll talk about them alot anyway. But try to keep those memories away when you can have proper conversations with close friends/family. Cry ! If you feel like crying, you should. Don't repress your feelings, ever ! Start dancing, learn how to play an instrument. Remember, idle mind is devil's playground. If you just stand there, doing nothing, you will never have the chance to start over with that guy, if that's what you want. I know most of these suggestions sound like rubbish to you but hey, I wanted to die when she said we should break up. I felt like my whole body was about to shut down. I just wanted to disappear. But don't worry, they'll fade. I miss her, I dream about her, I still pray for her to not lose her love for me (Funny enough, I consider myself a Deist but when it comes to love, everything stops to make sense and you just want to get her/him back or move on as quickly as you can.) but now these feelings aren't holding me back from doing my daily routine. Just let yourself grieve, cry, shout and sleep.

Meanwhile keep motivating yourself about how it's going to be just fine. After some time you'll come to terms with the saying. " If it's meant to be, it will be. " And here is the most important part. If you guys ever get back together, never try to fix your broken relationship. It's gone, broken, done ! Treat your second chance as a new relationship and don't do the same mistakes, both of you.

Peace out !

[Anevers]

I recommend Cookie Dough Ice Cream, and The Movie Hot Fuzz.

[Deleted]

I'm taking it somewhat (ok very) hard...he is someone I would do anything for in a second. I feel like I failed at keeping him happy and content...

Where the fuck does your happiness and contentedness come into play? Relationships are two way streets i'm afraid, i think he most likely got bored with you (Just a guess)

It doesn't help that I have been very ill the past month...I'm just not sure how to go about dealing with it =/

That's where his love and support of his partner should of came into play, i know i'd support my partner if she or he would become ill and do everything i could to alleviate the pain.

Even logging into WoW hurts because it all reminds me of him..and makes me think of the things we would do together..

Stop touching anything you and him did together, you need to find a hobby or something time indulging to do and work at it - a month or so later you'll forget about him until he's just a slight heartache.

Best of luck,

MMO - GenOT, Dr. Lovegood.

^ Meant as a joke!

[Mormolyce]

Well that sucks, but there's 7 billion people on the planet so there's plenty more fish in the sea :P

[Asphyxiate9]

I spent a lot of time with my ex playing WoW and I ended up quitting for 14 months when it ended, I would advise you to do the same. I felt a lot better and started getting my life back on track not long after.

[Itakas]

Drinks. drugs and start living by this simple rule "I shall not know emotions". Makes life a lot easier.

[Deleted]

Best way to get over someone ?
Get under someone else.

Seriously, Let your hair down and as a friend of mine says "get your slut on", Go pick up a guy, Take him back to a hotel room, Have completely meaningless sex, Give him the wrong telephone number in the morning.

[Deleted]

Just have to wait it out, it'll get worse before it gets better but eventually you'll be ok!
I wouldn't resort to comfort eating though

[Deleted]

A bottle of liquor and a friend always helped me a lot.

[skatblast]

You probably spent to much time playing wow with him when in reality you need to do stuff in real life with him. Id never play WoW with my girlfriend its too time consuming and useless.

Learn to please your next boyfriend

[endersblade]

Some of the responses here are appalling, and I'm a dude >.> You people have serious issues.

I'm currently going through this with a friend of mine. He and his gf broke up (she dumped him) and I've basically been coaching BOTH of them back to a healthy life. Unfortunately, the only venue I could find that both of them took to easily to help cope was to start complaining about the other >.> But both of them seem to be rebounding particularly well. Rather unfortunately, the gf seems to have started hitting on me -_-; bros don't date their bros' exes. Bad juju.

Anyway. It's different for everyone. My past two relationships ended when I found out they were cheating on me. I just needed to take some time alone and sort out what I was going to do. For some, apparently bitching incessantly about their ex works too lol.

[Sosogod]

Make deep talk with your BF and hope you can love each other as before.

[Deleted]

Lawyer up, hit the gym and delete facebook.

[Deleted]

Just cry it out honey, try to do what you normally do and one day you'll wake up feeling better

[IronArms]

Personally I'd spend more time with friends and family while you get over it; this is different for everyone but personally I find spending time with those closest to me helps immensely.

this, this a thousand times this

[Deleted]

Best way to get over someone ?
Get under someone else.

Seriously, Let your hair down and as a friend of mine says "get your slut on", Go pick up a guy, Take him back to a hotel room, Have completely meaningless sex, Give him the wrong telephone number in the morning.

this is a very bad advise.
I tried it once and made me feel worse.

[Karot]

Spend time with family and friends, workout, unfriend the ex from Facebook and any other social networks, and keep yourself busy. Time definitely helps, but feels like too long. Don't isolate yourself and wallow and dwell on all of it. Give yourself a specific length of time to grieve and cry it out, and once that time is over, resolve to move on.

Edit: In addition, I would strongly advise against "getting your slut on". Having a rebound may make you feel good over the short term, but you'll feel worse about it as time goes on.

[Zhira]

Sorry to hear about your break up - hope everything sorts itself out.

A couple of pointers:

1. Drinking NEVER helps. It intensifies feelings, so if you're sad you will most likely get more sad.

2. It's a good thing to keep your mind busy - to a certain point. The most healthy is actually to deal with the issue at hand and not let it linger too long in the back of your mind. The worst thing you can is to start to "scenario" think: "I could get him back if I....", "what if..." etc.

3. It's okay to break a glass, throw a fist through the wall, yell into a pillow, cry, scream..... Venting is what makes us overcome and it is actually healthy.

Z.

[Kuja]

this is a very bad advise.
I tried it once and made me feel worse.

This. Would be smart to avoid anything physical. Instead you should spend time with your friends, or even better, make new friends (Only friends, bad idea to look for anything else so soon). Talking can take your mind off the break up, especially if you have a nice person to talk with. Not about the break up, but anything which you enjoy in life.

Would also be wise to avoid anything that reminds you of him for a while, even wow.

1. Drinking NEVER helps. It intensifies feelings, so if you're sad you will most likely get more sad.

True if you overdo it. But take the drinking in moderation and your worries may seem less significant for a while. You won't feel any better the next morning though, so it's not a permanent solution. :P

[Angella]

Hi..so this morning when I woke up I got a message saying my BF needed to talk to me about our relationship...needless to say it came to an end...

I'm taking it somewhat (ok very) hard...he is someone I would do anything for in a second. I feel like I failed at keeping him happy and content...

It doesn't help that I have been very ill the past month...I'm just not sure how to go about dealing with it =/. Even logging into WoW hurts because it all reminds me of him..and makes me think of the things we would do together..

What other people have said. Time and patience can beat just about any emotional pain.