A girl's feelings towards relationships.

[Brannax]

Alright so I felt like I needed to vent and get some other people's opinions on this one girl I know.

So rundown is, I love her. I know that much etc. Now she has been a close friend to me for a long time and even though about 2-3 years ago we 'dated' (wasn't really, I personally wouldn't count it) she has told me that she has not seen me as more than a friend since we met (Though she was the one to approach me when we 'went out'). She has only ever 'dated' another guy in her life and she broke it off with him saying the same thing she told me recently when I told her I still was interested etc. She basically told us both that it isn't problems with us and she just isn't interested or believes that she will EVER be interested in relationships and sex etc. I also don't want to mention any of our ages but let's just say we all should be mature by now.

Now at this point I know it seems fairly normal right? She just ain't interested. However here is where I got confused. I have been a close friend to her for 3 or so years right? I'm usually always there when she's angry to vent to etc and she's stated that I am, or at least was, one of her few remaining 'true' friends. But today, and actually for a little while beforehand, she has been getting annoyed and has stated that I am 'harassing' her by dropping subtle hints of flirts/pretty much just joking around with showing her that I like her. Even though I know how she feels etc, I guess I am doing so but I know nothing will come of it which is why I don't see it as a problem. Yet today she threatened and said that I should just end our friendship over those, what I expected would be small, things. Hell she won't even let me just show I care about her well-being and what not without her flipping out and saying that I'm implying something more and again, 'harassing' her. At the end of the argument she settled for "You can vent how ever much you like to anyone else except me, never bring it up again"

I don't know if anyone else has met a woman like this but at this point I don't know how to feel/what to do.
Does anyone have any advice for getting over stuff like this?


EDIT: Just gonna edit this post to mention that I have apologised and taken people's opinions into consideration with reality. Gonna try to cut down on communication but not just leave her completely as I know of issues in her life that are much more important to tend to if she needs a friend than just a stupid situation like this.

[vindicatorx]

You are friend zoned my man, nothing romantic is ever going to happen with her. Move on

[Kerath]

She told you, flat out, that she wasn't interested. You tried to flirt with her anyway and now you're surprised that she's pissed off and questioning your motives?
Stop, just stop it.
You may not have meant anything by the flirting, but she cannot read your mind. She only sees you still trying to press your interest on her despite the fact that she has categorically stated that she does not return said interest.
I'd suggest apologising, acknowledging that you should not have tried to flirt - tell her you didn't mean anything by it but can understand that she couldn't have known that, back off and give her a little space.

[NewOrleansTrolley]

I might be harsh with my response and if so, I apologize.

You're in the friend zone, bro. You say you're mature but you don't realize most men know better. If she's your "friend" only, dump her and invest your energy into girls who will actually reciprocate. At the moment, you sound like a sponge. Moreover, you seem to think relationships occur over time like a budding flower. Not really. Most relationships begin with an initial interest / you having money.

Also this: http://fearlessmen.com/wp-content/up...d_zone_18.jpeg

[Zylos]

Chances are you are coming on way stronger than you are telling us about and it creeps her out because she just isn't interested. Back off and treat her like you would a guy friend because anything else steps over that line.

Also its called the friend zone and it happens all the time.

[Brannax]

I obvs know of friendzone. I'm kind of curious of the fact that she seemed genuine with the whole she will never be with anyone deal. Some would say it was an excuse but I honestly don't think it was.

Also I was more looking for an advice ON moving on.

[NewOrleansTrolley]

The best way to move on to just continue with your goals. If you have no goals, that might be a problem.

[Deleted]

Also I was more looking for an advice ON moving on.

Spank the monkey, it'll help you move on.

That or immerse yourself in a hobby or sport, we can't really help you other than listening to your moaning of what could of been.

[Chucksauce]

Get over it man. Whether she's honest about what she wants or not, it's obvious she doesn't want you. Move on, and if you can't be just friends with her, end the friendship. Then she doesn't feel the pressure, and you're not reminded of your missteps. There's no argument to be made. And seriously? why in the great wide world of wtf would you want a woman who even utters that she's disinterested in sex. Either the guys in here life sucked or she hasn't come out yet.

Go get a woman. Any woman. Get your mind off this bad situation by any means necessary.

[Speaknoevil]

You're being incredibly lame.

If you actually give a shit about her you will apologize, look for romance in someone else, and still be her friend.

The whole slit vs rod thing making non sexual relationships weird is retarded on it's face.

[NewOrleansTrolley]

Honestly, I wouldn't even be her friend. She sounds like he's using him to vent her problems with probably nothing in return.

[Stelio Kontos]

You got friendzoned.

Unless you value her for friendship, I'd suggest cutting your losses and moving on. Stop talking to her, or talking to her as much.

I usually avoid the friend zone by just not becoming friends with a woman I'm interested in. If the attraction isn't mutual, I don't continue to waste my time. I have female friends, but I am not interested in them beyond basic friendship.

So apologize to her, and hit the trail.

[Zylos]

I obvs know of friendzone. I'm kind of curious of the fact that she seemed genuine with the whole she will never be with anyone deal. Some would say it was an excuse but I honestly don't think it was.

Also I was more looking for an advice ON moving on.

Hang out with other people or just play wow and jerk it, or w/e else your interested in. Being clingy isn't attractive to most girls unless they themselves are clingy...and that's how serial killers are born.

[Dezerte]

Apologize and maybe you can still remain friends.

[Brannax]

For the record I have apologized numerous times. Like I said I've done all the thing she's asked me to, that part's over.
I guess it is just a general QQ thread but it needed to be done.

[Stelio Kontos]

For the record I have apologized numerous times. Like I said I've done all the thing she's asked me to, that part's over.
I guess it is just a general QQ thread but it needed to be done.

Meh, some people just can't let things go, she seems like one.

You crossed a boundary, it bothered her. You apologized. You did what was required, not your issue anymore. If she can't let it go, brush it off your shoulder and move on. There will be lots of friends and lovers through life, no point getting hung up on one when it sours.

[vindicatorx]

For the record I have apologized numerous times. Like I said I've done all the thing she's asked me to, that part's over.
I guess it is just a general QQ thread but it needed to be done.

How do you move on? Real simple go meet others girls you can be infatuated with . That should do the trick, that and don't put any effort into the girl who told you it's not happening all you are doing by being around her is wasting time.

[Deleted]

Oh man... /facepalm

You already got some good advice but I'll repeat it once more: This girl is using you, you're not gonna get anything from her. Move on. Forget her. Go out and meet other women.

[Kalis]

I don't know if anyone else has met a woman like this but at this point I don't know how to feel/what to do.
Does anyone have any advice for getting over stuff like this?

Yeah, stop embarrassing her by flirting, as she has explicitly stated that she feels uncomfortable with it.

It's you that's ruining the friendship by not accepting the boundaries in place.

[Kerath]

I obvs know of friendzone. I'm kind of curious of the fact that she seemed genuine with the whole she will never be with anyone deal. Some would say it was an excuse but I honestly don't think it was.

Also I was more looking for an advice ON moving on.

Whether it's an excuse or not is a moot point at this stage, really.
Anyway, I'd advise a bit of distance. It's nigh impossible to get over someone if you're around them all the time, imo. Back off, give youself (and her) time away from each other. Immerse yourself in a fun hobby or try and advance plans for work/career. Go out on a few dates. Just focus on other aspects of your life. It can be tough at first, but gets easier with time (cliche, I know).

I'm not saying completely ditch her as a friend or anything (despite what a couple of others have said, friendships with people of the opposite sex can actually be worthwhile :-O shocker), but you need to move on from thinking of her as a potential girlfriend. Once you get past your current feelings for her, then hopefully you can resume a normal friendship.