i'm in love with a married woman

[logintime]

It comes down to a Unstoppable force meeting and Unmovable Object, one can not exist while the other remains.

He will give it his all to win her, or hubby will stand firm and fight for what he holds dear.

Are you really citing trite clichés as justification for why it's okay to move in on another's spouse? Especially when they don't even make much sense in context?

Is anyone persuaded by this? Like, at all?

[Stir]

I've had it happen to me... just recently actually. Girlfriend I loved with all my heart but there was someone she loved more, I happily let her go, because her happiness meant more to me then mine did.

There is no 'letting go.' If she leaves you for another, then she leaves you. It's really as simple as that. You do not possess another person, nor can you win another person. People are not prizes.
It's of course great if you can work this out together, but the effect is still the same.

In any case, this topic is about a third party bashing IN, which is a completely different matter. If she loves him, then she should be the one to take initiative, be assertive, and decide for herself whether or not she is happy in the relationship she is in. If the OP professes his love for her, he'll just push an issue where there may not be one, and make everyone miserable.

It's simple: She's in a relationship. That means it's not your place to do anything about it.

[Bigbamboozal]

In the words of Perry Farrell, "Are you so insecure you have to steal another man's girl? Or can't you get one of your own?"
Walk away Ron, it's a bad idea from the get go and you know it. /pat on back (I know bro, it's tough)
Are you ready to deal if he finds out and snaps?
Is she really worth that?
If she is, let her get a divorce first.
Not separated.
Not on a break.
DIVORCED.
She needs to be single before you mingle if you really like her.
Otherwise you don't get to come here and whine and winge when she pulls the same shit on you in a few years.
And she will.
Mark my words.
I know, it's my super powers,
common sense, and foresight.

[ripponesan]

Not a nanosecond.

[Amnasty]

Are you really citing trite clichés as justification for why it's okay to move in on another's spouse? Especially when they don't even make much sense in context?

Is anyone persuaded by this? Like, at all?

Cliches that have proven themselves threw countless decades? Yes... one will stay and one will go.... do you prefer that wording. You fancied me a romanticist so I continued with your so called cliches.

- - - Updated - - -

There is no 'letting go.' If she leaves you for another, then she leaves you. It's really as simple as that. You do not possess another person, nor can you win another person. People are not prizes.
It's of course great if you can work this out together, but the effect is still the same.

In any case, this topic is about a third party bashing IN, which is a completely different matter. If she loves him, then she should be the one to take initiative, be assertive, and decide for herself whether or not she is happy in the relationship she is in. If the OP professes his love for her, he'll just push an issue where there may not be one, and make everyone miserable.

It's simple: She's in a relationship. That means it's not your place to do anything about it.

There sure is "letting go" by not fighting... but not trying to cling to something that isn't. That's letting go. I didn't fight it... hence letting go.... how do you not understand this... i never claimed people were prizes.

And maybe just maybe shes wondering if hes into her the way shes into him? Why should he not be the first to initiate, why does he deserve the wounded heart? There's few winners in love.... he mind as well not submit to being the loser.

[Deleted]

Life is short.... now I would never ruin someones chance at happiness, and all couples, all people deserve their shot at tried and true love. So I don't condone stepping in the way.

However, if it's true love, the forever kind, where you spend every moment thinking of spending time with this person, not just thinking about sharing a bed. Then you deserve to at least have your voice heard. Life is short, and love is a rare reward, and a precious gift. Fortune favors the bold....so I say to you sir....do something stupid.

Let her know, and let her know why, if she feels the same...then all's fair in love and war.

Life is the longest event you will ever experience.

[Raelbo]

I've had it happen to me... just recently actually. Girlfriend I loved <snip>

Girlfriend =/= wife. Not even close. This probably explains why you are having trouble empathising properly with this situation.

[Deleted]

Tell her how you feel - it's her own decision how she handles it and if she's faithful.
But be warned: If she leaves him for you, she'll probably leave you for someone else in the future. It's a question of principles.

[Amnasty]

Life is the longest event you will ever experience.

Life isn't an "event" its a series, a infinitesimal amount of moments/events/happenings/ect. This is but one small chapter in what will be the story of his life... he should make it count.

[Deleted]

go get her champ

[Pull My Finger]

I'd go for it. Getting laid is always good, plus: given the whole constellation, you can really stir shit up and mess people up, which is a bonus. YOLO and don't listen to the petty moralists.

[moremana]

Find your own wife.

This!

The only guys that go after married women are insecure deadbeats to lazy to find their own.

I had a friend in college that all he dated was married women, his reasoning? Married women are easy. He's no longer with us. Tread lightly sir.

[Stir]

And maybe just maybe shes wondering if hes into her the way shes into him? Why should he not be the first to initiate, why does he deserve the wounded heart? There's few winners in love.... he mind as well not submit to being the loser.

There's no reason to have a wounded heart if there's nothing there. Being 'in love' is just pheromones. It's not a relationship. You can't lose what you do not have.

[Hyve]

Honestly, stay out of it.

Chances are the feelings you both have are not totally genuine for each other. You're probably lustful and making it feel more real by connecting it to more stable emotions such as love, and she's probably just wanting to try something new.

Going down this road will very likely end up ruining their marriage, and you'll unlikely get anything in return for it.

I've always hated cheating, I hate people that think nothing of it. It's an incredibly serious matter, you may totally destroy her husbands (or chances would be, ex-husbands) chances of ever trusting another woman. Think with your head here, not your penis, and don't kid yourself for a moment it's love.

[Amnasty]

Girlfriend =/= wife. Not even close. This probably explains why you are having trouble empathising properly with this situation.

Ha, anyone who knew us would readily tell you we were married, just didn't have the rings.... or the legal nonsense...

Which to boot....if the legality of things and what comes with divorse is what keeps anyone in a marriage they want out of...your stupid.

Pharaohs tried taking their physical wealth with them to the after life....theres a reason so many of them were defaced in grave robberies... the riches never left!

[Deleted]

I "stole" my girlfriend from her husband nearly 8 years ago, never looked back.

If you're doing it for the right reasons (and lets not forget she has a choice in all this) then I don't see what the problem is.

[aggs]

There's no reason to have a wounded heart if there's nothing there. Being 'in love' is just pheromones. It's not a relationship. You can't lose what you do not have.

I don't think the word means what you think it does.

[Schmilblick]

Find your own wife.

This.
/10 chars.

[Raelbo]

Ha, anyone who knew us would readily tell you we were married, just didn't have the rings....

...or, you know, maybe the commitment. That is the real point of a marriage - you make a commitment to stay with that person for the rest of your life. When you are just BF/GF there is none of that, neither has committed anything, leaving it open ended.

When you get married, love stops simply being something that happens, it becomes a choice you make.

your stupid.

I lol'd at the irony of this...

[Deleted]

I "stole" my girlfriend from her husband nearly 8 years ago, never looked back.

If you're doing it for the right reasons (and lets not forget she has a choice in all this) then I don't see what the problem is.

You became an asshole 8 years ago. You ARE your back.